Zak was confused and angry. Really angry. Maybe I was too late to help him. I remembered the Malevolent from Kemah and how he had dissolved into a black cloud, still cursing.
No. I wouldn’t let that happen to Zak. I had to make this work.
Paul entered with a guitar. Zak’s soul shifted slightly away from anger when I placed it in my lap.
“Will you stay please, Paul?” Charles asked. “Speaker 102 is soul-sharing and will need your assistance.”
Paul nodded and stood near my chair.
I strummed a few chords. “Want to play, Zak?”
Yeah, why not?
I relaxed and allowed him to gain control of my body. He shifted the guitar on my lap and changed the angle of it. When he began to play, his soul lightened again. It was going to work; I just knew it. If I could get him to relax, maybe he would remember what happened and would understand his compulsion to apologize.
He transitioned from simple chords into the classical piece he’d played for my birthday. I’d given him complete control of my body, and I was amazed how quickly he could make my fingers move over the strings. My vision blurred from the tears filling my eyes. Zak’s tears.
I loved you, babe,
he said.
The song reached a crescendo and his tears streamed freely down my face.
I had to keep my emotions out of it. I had to stay focused. “Think, Zak,” I said. “You left your friend’s apartment and you came by my house. You saw Alden drop me off. You wanted to talk. Remember?”
He loosened my grip on the guitar and the tempo slowed.
“I was cold, so we talked in your car. When you saw Alden, you freaked out and took off with me in the car. You almost hit the bridge guardrail. Do you remember?”
He stopped playing. The silence in the room was stifling and dragged on forever.
Yeah, that guy told me to turn right and miss the bridge railing. Oh, God. I remember now. I . . . That guy made me stop and take you out of the car.
I didn’t say anything. I felt his soul shift to absolute remorse as he remembered.
If that guy’s voice hadn’t gotten in my head, I’d have . . . Really, I mean . . . I almost killed you. If he hadn’t made me stop and let you go, you’d have been in the car when I crashed. Oh, babe, I’m so sorry.
“It’s okay, Zak. I wish things had happened differently.” I looked straight at the three Speakers. “I wish lots of things had happened differently.”
That guy. Where is that guy from the cemetery? I need to talk to him. I think that’s it.
“He’s not here, Zak.” I handed the guitar off to Paul, who leaned it against the wall.
I felt Zak’s emotions shift to something that felt like desperation. I knew he was struggling to hang on to what was good in his soul and not give in to darkness. How could I help him? Rose would have known, dammit! What was I supposed to do? I didn’t even try to stop the tears running down my face.
I need to talk to that guy, Lenzi. That’s definitely it. I owe him one.
Because Zak was in the vessel, the other Speakers in the room couldn’t hear him. “You can’t speak to Alden directly, Zak, but you can pay him back another way.” I felt his emotions spike to hope. This was the best his soul had felt—the first time he hadn’t felt like a Malevolent. If I were lucky, this would work on two levels: resolve Zak’s issue that was keeping him Earth-bound and, even though it might be too late to save him, I could clear Alden’s name. “You can come on out and tell the people in this room what you were going to say to him.” I looked over my shoulder at Paul. “He’s ready,” I said.
Zak’s emotions surged to what felt like joy right before Paul entered and Zak’s soul ripped out of my body. I covered my face and held my breath as Paul exited.
“Now, babe?”
Zak asked from somewhere behind me near the door.
“Yeah, now.” I glared at the three Speakers. I knew they could hear him because they were looking in the direction of his voice. “Go ahead, Zak.”
“Um, cool. Okay. Yeah, so it kinda hurts to stay here, and Lenzi thinks telling you what I want to say to that guy who jumped into my head last night will help
.
”
He was silent for a moment.
“Please proceed,” Ophelia said.
“I guess I was going to tell him thanks. Tell him that he was right about something. He said that there was hope until the last second, and yeah, I think he nailed that. I’m a screwup. Always have been, but he kept me from messing up bad. Real bad. If he hadn’t convinced me to get Lenzi out of the car, I’d have killed her too. He knew that.”
He was silent for a moment before he began to speak again.
So, uh . . . wow, I feel weird. Like I need to go somewhere. It feels good, babe.
I wiped my eyes with a Kleenex Paul handed me. “I’m glad, Zak. You deserve to feel good.” He was such a cool guy. One of the best guitarists I’d ever heard. And a great friend when I needed one most. A sob escaped my lips.
Zak appeared by the door in the familiar blue luminescence of a Hindered, dressed in his tattered jeans and Metallica T-shirt.
“Bye, Zak,” I whispered.
“Take care, babe.”
He flashed me the dimpled grin I loved so much and gave me a thumbs-up as he was absorbed in a white shaft of light.
Gone.
I folded my arms on the table and put my head down. First Dad, now Zak, and any minute, I’d lose Alden too. The pain in my chest was intense—unbearable.
Alden’s words ran through my head.
Pain lets you know you’re alive
.
No, thanks. I couldn’t hurt like this for lifetimes. Not without Alden. “So, how do I get out of this Speaker gig?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. “What witches’ brew do I drink or what incantation do I chant to end this?” I pulled my hair aside, exposing my soul brand. “Do you just cut this thing out or is it removed with some hocus-pocus?”
Robert cleared his throat. “Really, 102. This is unnecessary. You’ve had centuries of success. Why would you let something like—”
Charles cut him off with the wave of his hand. “Don’t try to talk her out of it, Robert. You’re wasting your time. I know her well. I was her mentor for her first three cycles. I’ve never met anyone quite like her.” He’d been my teacher? He turned his wrinkled face to me. “You changed over the cycles, Rose. . . . I beg your pardon,
Lenzi
. And it appears the gap in cycling renewed you and made you more like your original self.”
My wish. He was one of the elders.
Is he the one Rose approached? Is that how he knew about my amnesia?
He scanned a sheet in front of him. “Your points are high too. In fact, with the exorcism from yesterday and the resolution just now, you and Alden are in first place for the region in daily averages.”
I made no effort to hide the anger in my voice. “I’m sure Alden was thrilled to hear that.”
“He doesn’t know yet.”
Does that mean they’ll tell him? Does that mean there’s still a chance?
Charles folded his hands in his lap and waited. “Tell me what’s happening, Paul.”
“Um, it’s hard to say,” Paul replied.
Charles swiveled to face him. “Now, Paul. You cannot be effective if you can’t discern the condition of the Speaker.”
“Why don’t you ask the Speaker yourself, Charles? Stop using me as a teaching tool and take me seriously,” I said.
“I take you very seriously. We are about to lose a fine Protector, and now one of our best Speakers is requesting to be removed from service. It could not be more serious.”
I turned to Paul. “What is my condition now, Paul?”
“Um, I . . .”
I rose from my chair and began pacing. “I’ll tell you my condition. I’m outraged! ‘There’s hope until the last second.’ That’s on the inside cover of the IC Rule Book, isn’t it? You can stick to your immovable zero-tolerance rules, but I’m going to stick to the motto ‘There’s hope until the last second’ !” I paced behind the head of the table so that they had to turn to watch me. “Why are you here if all you’re going to do is follow an absolute rule? No gray scale. No way out. Is this hearing being held just to make you feel better?
“Alden is going to be killed because he did his job. He protected the Speaker. Without a doubt, I would be dead if he hadn’t made the decision he did. You’re Speakers, so you heard Zak. If Alden hadn’t put his soul in Zak’s body, Zak’s resolution would have been much different. Would you destroy a soul for the crime of saving two others?” I circled back to my end of the table. “I was on a dead-end track before Alden came into my life. Without his influence, I could have ended up just like my dad. Alden is the kind of person who makes things happen, a catalyst for positive change. His destruction would be unconscionable and detrimental to the purpose of this Council.”
I grasped the back of my chair and caught my breath.
Charles folded his hands on the table. “You may not remember being Rose, but she is definitely in this room, my dear.” He gestured to Paul. “If you would wait outside with Lenzi for a moment, I would like to confer with my colleagues.”
Paul opened the door for me. Race was right outside the door, trying a little too hard to look nonchalant.
“You were eavesdropping on a private Council session,” Paul said after he closed the door.
Race shrugged. “Not a chance. That would be reckless and dangerous. As Protectors, you and I both know that’s just not in our nature. Didn’t they teach you that at Wilkingham?”
Race and Paul looked at each other before breaking into smiles.
“How’d you get stuck with this duty?” Race asked Paul.
“I’m Charles’s current prodigy. It’s an honor.”
Race stepped closer to him. “What’s going to happen?”
Paul shrugged. “It’s hard to say. These things never turn out well for Protectors, but she had them going in there.”
“I couldn’t feel any of them except Lenzi. Her soul drowned them out,” Race said.
We heard footsteps coming toward the door. “You’d better get scarce before they find out you were here, man,” Paul warned him. Race made it up the stairs just before Robert opened the door to call me back.
I resumed my seat at the foot of the table.
Charles shuffled the papers in front of him and tapped a stray paper into place. “Speaker 102, you asked if we held hearings to make ourselves feel better. The answer is no. We hold them because sometimes a miracle happens. Sometimes we need to be reminded that there are circumstances under which rules should be broken. Sometimes we need to show the same compassion to each other that we show to the Hindered.”
My heart was hammering so hard, I was certain everyone in the room could hear it.
I held my breath as Charles continued. “You have delivered a miracle today. You put Alden’s breach into context for us. We have decided unanimously that Alden’s choice was justified and his soul should
not
be discontinued.”
I inhaled through my nose. My lungs ached as if I’d been underwater too long.
“He will be on probation, however,” Charles continued. “The two of you will check in with us one month from today for reevaluation. We will not allow you to step out of your role as Speaker until that time. You and Alden must perform your job as usual until we meet again. It is our sincere hope that you will change your mind during this month and decide to remain a Speaker.”
Charles nodded to the others, and they exited, leaving me alone at the opposite end of the long, shiny table from him. Paul stuck his head inside the room. “Ophelia said you wanted to speak with me, sir?”
Charles folded the top paper from the stack in front of him in quarters and then over several more times. “Yes. I would like to converse with Speaker 102 privately for a few minutes.” He deftly folded the corners on a diagonal. “Do you understand what I’m asking of you, Paul?”
Paul glanced up at the camera bubble. “Yes, sir. I’ll take care of it.” He strode from the room, closing the door behind him.
I watched in silence as Charles placed the pinwheel of paper in his palm and began to twist it. He smiled at me, then pulled on the exposed edges.
“You said you had been my mentor in my early cycles.” I nodded to the paper he was working on with amazing speed. “Did you teach me origami too?”
His fingers never stopped moving, even when he looked at me to answer. “I did.”
I clasped my hands in my lap, resisting the urge to work on my own partially finished paper in front of me.
“Have you put the pieces together yet?” he asked, rotating the paper in his palm as he worked his way around, shaping the paper.
“You’re the elder Rose went to with her request.”
He answered with a smile, then placed his completed paper rose on the reflective tabletop. “Even Council elders aren’t permitted to tamper with the recycling of souls. Not even if it is for the best of reasons.” He stood and walked to the door. “Do you understand?”