Shattered Dreams (25 page)

He rubs my knuckles with his
thumb, and I realize we are still holding hands. When I look up at
him, he looks serious. My heart races and my breathing catches. I
stare at his eyes and then his mouth. It feels as though time is
standing still. He slowly leans down to me and I stand on my
tiptoes to meet him. He raises his hand,
cups my cheek
with his free hand and
gently rubs it with his thumb. I close my eyes. All of the sudden I
want to feel his lips on mine. He slowly and sweetly kisses me with
his closed mouth. No tongue, nothing inappropriate; just a slow,
sweet kiss.  

“
Happy New Year,
Emma,”
he says softly, as he pulls away
slightly. 

“
Happy New Year, Alec,” I
whisper, without opening my eyes. 

Chapter Seven: Date Night

Alec

I kissed Emma good night on
New Year’s Eve and it’s the only thing I can think about. I shower
before bed and lie awake. I roll over and stare at the wedding
picture of Molly and me. It’s been on the nightstand for the last
seven years. Picking it up, I run my fingers over her beautiful
face.
The first five years were some of the
happiest times in my life. I never would have imagined my life
would have taken a dive into a toilet,
but
it did. I stand up from the bed
and walk to the closet still holding the picture of Molly and me.
The keepsake box that holds all of our memories is still in the
corner of the closet where I put it. I remove the lid and take one
last look at the picture before I place the picture in the
box. 

Next, I look at Molly’s side
of the closet and see all of her clothing, shoes, and accessories.
They have been here for the past year, untouched. I walk to the
garage and grab a few empty boxes and return to pack up Molly’s
things from the closet
and
throughout the house. It’s a new year and a new
start. No more holding on to the past and hoping for things that
can never be.  

Once the items from the closet and the
dresser are packed away, I take an empty box and go into the
bathroom. I fill it up just with bathroom items. I stack everything
up in the garage and I’ll decide what to do with it
later. 

I have a shot of something stronger than I
would normally have. Tonight, Jim Bean is my new best friend. I am
finally ready to leave the past in the past and see what the future
holds. 

The next morning I shower before going to my
parents’ house to get Raelynn. Mom and dad always make a large
casual dinner of BBQ pork, cooked cabbage, and potato salad for New
Year’s Day. My family is not superstitious, but if someone claims
something can bring you luck they’ll try it. This has been a family
tradition since I was a child. This is an Irish tradition that my
mother was raised on.  

The whole family is there, even my sister
Cameron, Ian, and their new daughter, Savannah. We sit around the
large dining room table and announce what our New Year’s Resolution
is. My mother believes that, if you announce it, you are more apt
to keep it. 

I listen intently at what everyone says and
smile at the kids. It’s the first day of the year and a great time
to start new. Rae announces she is going to eat more candy and
sweets. Cameron and Ian announce they are going to be the best
parents they can be for their daughter and dad vows to spend more
time with his wife and less time playing golf. We all laugh because
this is the same thing he says every year. When it’s my turn, I
announce I am moving forward with my life and I am leaving the past
in the past. No one says anything, but I know that they know what I
mean.  

When everything is cleaned up after dinner,
mom sets the dessert and coffee out on the kitchen island. “Alec,
have your coffee on the lanai with me.” It’s not a question, but an
order. I follow my mother outside to the large open living
area.  

“
How was your date last
night?” 

“
It was good. I asked her
out again for next Saturday.” I take a sip of my coffee and watch
my mother. 

“
Is that why you have
decided to move forward with your life?” 

“
I just think it’s time. I
think I have finally come to terms that what my life once was, is
over. Molly is gone and I can’t change that.
I need to move forward for myself and for
Raelynn.” 

My mother walks closer to me and sits beside
me on the couch. “I’m proud of you, Alec. It won’t be easy, but I
have to agree with you: It’s best for you and Raelynn. This girl
you are seeing, Emma?” 

“
I’m not really seeing her,
but yes.” 

“
Is she
divorced?” 

“
Widowed. He died four years
ago during his tour of duty in the Army.” 

“
I’m sorry to hear that,” my
mother says honestly. “Her son wasn’t born yet?” 

“
James was a few months old
when his father passed.” 

“
She is very young to have
gone through so much.” 

“
Yes.” 

My dad walks out into the lanai with his
coffee and a plate of pecan pie. “What am I
missing?”  

My mother looks up and smiles. “Nothing.” She
looks at the pie on his plate. “Did you cut the whole pie, or did
you only cut yourself a piece?” 

“
This was the last piece,”
he says, taking a large bite of his pie. “Blake was setting another
pie out for everyone, when I left.” 

“
If Blake cuts the pie,
it’ll be cut in quarters.”  

Mom walks into the house and Dad looks at me.
“Is everything all right?” 

“
It’s fine. I have a date
next week and I was wondering, hoping more like it, if you could
get me a reservation at the country club.
I
know that it is hard to get a reservation for a
Saturday.” 

“
She sounds pretty
special.” 

“
She is. I’m a new member
and I think your chances of getting a reservation are far better
than mine.” 

“
Would you like some
advice?” he asks, laying his empty plate down on the coffee
table. 

I take a deep breath, because I know if I say
no, I’ll get it anyway. I smile and say, “Sure.” 

“
Is this the same girl with
the son from last night?” 

“
Yes, why?” 

“
Because when you date a
woman with a child, it’s a little different from dating someone
without a child.” 

I lean up in my chair and rest my elbows on
my knees. “I’m not following you.” 

“
A woman with a child has
obligations and you’ll need to be considerate of her and her child.
You need to understand she may not be available whenever you want
her.” 

“
I can understand
that.” 

“
Offer to pay her childcare
for her for the evening and don’t ever show up for a date empty
handed.” 

“
Do you mean
flowers?” 

“
No, I mean, always have
something special for her son, too. He probably isn’t used to
sharing his mother and this may be hard on him. Four years old is a
tough age. Don’t make him feel like you are trying to steal his
mother from him. Do you know what I mean?” 

I rub my hand over my chin and nod. “I didn’t
think about that, thank you.” 

“
It also wouldn’t hurt to
have a play date with the kids. Go skating, or the movies, or even
fishing. Make an attempt to get to know him. Raelynn would also
benefit from this.” 

“
Thank you, I’ll have to
remember that.” 

A few minutes later all the adults come
outside on the lanai carrying plates of dessert and coffee. The
kids play in the yard while mom rocks the baby and we all talk
about the kids returning to school tomorrow.  

Later that night I bathe Raelynn and I help
her to pick out her school clothes for the next day. She wants to
wear her Batman costume, but I persuade her to wear regular school
clothing. I guess I did the right thing, but I wonder. Usually, it
is a good idea to be yourself, but if you can be Batman, maybe you
should be Batman. 

Once she is in bed, I walk
through the house and remove any photos with Molly in them. I can’t
remove everything that reminds me of her, but I can remove her
personal items and the pictures of her. I look at the house, which
is full of memories of my life with Molly, and I frown. I make a
mental note to call a Realtor
to look at
some new houses. A move may be just be what Raelynn and I
need.  

I receive a text from my dad on Wednesday
saying he reserved a table at the country club for Saturday night
for Emma and me. I call Emma on Thursday and tell her we’ll be
going to the county club for dinner and that I’ll be there at 6:00
to pick her up. I also make sure she has childcare for Saturday and
let her know I’ll cover the cost of childcare for the
evening. 

On Saturday, I drop Rae off
at my parents’ house
and go home to get
ready for my date with Emma. I decide on a black suit with a white
crisp shirt and black tie. I stop by the florist to get Emma a much
smaller bouquet of lilacs than
mom ordered
for her previously. I still have no idea what flowers she
likes.
I may want to know that.
I also stopped by and got James a little something
special, too. That was great advice I got from my
father.  

I pull up outside of Emma’s and take some
deep breaths. I reach for James’ wrapped gift and Emma’s flowers
before I get out of the car. I stand tall and walk the short
distance to her front porch. I ring the doorbell and wait for her
to answer. I am surprised when Brooke answers the
door.  

“
Hi,” she smiles and opens
the door wide for me to walk through.  

“
Hi, how were your
holidays?” 

“
They were good, thank you.
I’ll let Emma know you’re here. Come in and have a
seat.” 

“
All right, thank you.” I
continue to stand at the door.  

“
Alec?” 

“
Yes,
Brooke?” 

“
Alec, I want you to know
that Emma is my very best friend and I don’t want you hurting her.
She has been through a lot, and I don’t want you playing games with
her.” 

“
Brooke, I like Emma and I
have no intentions of ever hurting her.” 

“
Ok, I just want you to
know, and if you do hurt her, you’ll have to deal with
me.” 

I smile because I understand how much Emma
means to her. “I understand. You have no need to worry.” 

“
Good, have a great time and
you clean up pretty well.” She smiles.  

I smile, too. “Thank you, I think.” 

“
Tell Emma I’ll keep James
for the night. There’s no need to wake him when she gets
home.” 

I nod. “I’ll let her know.” 

“
And that’s not an
invitation for you to spend the night.” 

Emma enters the room.
“Brooke, stop it, geesh! Alec, I’m sorry. My
friend is a little crazy.” 

Emma looks at Brooke and
says, “And
you
said you would be on your best
behavior.”  

Emma looks at me, then at Brooke
again. 

I look over at Emma and smile. She looks
stunning wearing a black dress just above the knee, low cut
sweetheart neckline with ¾ inch sleeves. 

“
This is my best behavior.”
Brooke laughs as she walks out the door
.
  

Emma says, “I’m sorry. I should have known
that she would misbehave.” 

“
It’s all right, she just
cares about you.” 

“
Sometimes I think a little
too much. Please come in.”  

“
Here, these are for you and
this is for James.” I step forward and hand her the vase of flowers
and the wrapped gift. 

“
Is this your mother’s doing
again?” 

“
No, it’s mine. She taught
me well.” 

“
Yes, I would have to agree.
Thank you. May I ask what this is?” she asks, shaking the
gift. 

“
It’s actually pretty cool.
I saw this model train for sale this week and decided it would be
nice if we all put it together. I know how much he likes
trains.” 

“
Alec, that is so
thoughtful. Thank you for thinking of him. I’m sorry he’s not here
to unwrap it in front of you. He is already at Brooke’s for the
night.” 

“
Emma, it’s fine and you
look stunning tonight.” 

“
Do I? I’m afraid the dress
may not be dressy enough.” 

“
It’s perfect, are you
ready?” 

She smells the lilacs before setting the vase
of flowers in the center of the table. “I’m ready and just so you
know, lilacs are my favorite flowers.” She walks past me and
smiles.  

I hold the door open for her and say, “Well,
that is good to know, Ms. Greyson. Do you have your keys to the
house?” 

She holds up her black clutch. “Yes, Mr.
Collins. I have everything I need.” 

I watch her walk out the door and make sure
the house is secured before walking behind her off the porch. She
waits for me and automatically loops her arm in mine. “You look
very sharp tonight, Alec.” 

“
Do I now?” I ask as I open
her car door for her.