Authors: Gracie Marie
Chris
unhooked Mandy from the line and they both watched her swim freely away into
the sunset. “I think you made the right choice. It’s what Marc would have
wanted. I don’t think you could ever hurt an animal, no matter what it had done
to you. You love animals way too much.” He tried reasoning with her.
“You’re
right. I do. I just couldn’t do it. I think so too. It was the best decision.
Doing this actually gave me closure. I feel like I was able to get closure
through Mandy. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. Thanks for doing this
with me Chris, I couldn’t have done it without you. You were the one who
encouraged me to never give up and I didn’t because of you. You’ve been an
amazing friend in these past few months. I don’t know what I would have done
without you. You kept me going and kept me out of depression. You saved my
life.” She gave him a big smile and reached for his hand.
“It’s
not a big deal, you know that I would do anything for you. It was enlightening
to see you each day and to see you get through the pain. I know how saddened
you were the first day that you found out and now three months later I know it
still kills you. I’ve often wished that I could somehow bring Marc back for you
to make your heart whole again. It was horrible for me to see you crushed each
day. Today I see the light in your eyes again. I’m so glad you received
closure. It’s something that you desperately needed and I am glad that you
found it. I’m just blessed that you let me in your life even though you were
suffering through immense pain.” He gave her hand a squeeze. The blue light was
back in her eyes. She finally looked happy again after months of pain and
heartache. He felt like the luckiest man to be able to share a moment like this
with her.
“Chris,
you’re one of the best friends that I have ever had. To stick with me through
everything like you did, it just means the world to me. I did need closure and
now that I finally have it, I feel like I will be able to move on with my life
for the better.” She looked out towards the sky, noticing that it was red which
meant sailor’s delight and the next day would be beautiful without rain.
“I
can’t believe he’s gone Carly. It just doesn’t seem real yet. I didn’t think he
was going to die so soon.” She looked at Carly who was wearing all black and
sitting next to her. Her father’s funeral had just ended and they were the last
ones sitting in the room. Their mother had gone out to the hall to thank all of
the guests for coming. It had been a full room full of love and people who had
cared about their dad. Both girls were having a hard time leaving the casket.
They both sat in their chairs and just stared at it crying. It seemed too
surreal to believe.
“Me
either. I don’t want him to be gone,” She said as her blue eyes filled with
tears. “I miss him already. Do you want to go say goodbye for the last time?”
She sniffled trying hard not to cry again.
“Yes,
let’s say goodbye to Daddy.” She took her sister’s hand and they walked over to
the casket. Their mother had chosen to keep the casket closed. In his later
months, their father had become so brittle that he wasn’t even recognizable. It
hurt Cathy to even remember those months, but she wanted to remember every
single moment of his life. She wanted to remember the good times and the bad.
“Goodbye,
Daddy. I love you.” Carly touched the top of the casket as if it was her
father. She looked down as tears hit the top of it and started rolling down the
sides. The white casket with gold lining was so beautiful and it suited their
father. He was like a king to them and the community. He had a soft sense of
leadership and a heart of gold. Carly looked around at all of the flowers in
the room. There were hundreds of daisies, which had been her father’s favorite
flower. “Cathy, look at all of these flowers. Look at how many lives Daddy
touched. He was so blessed. Now he is with God in heaven.”
“You’re
right. Lots of people loved Daddy. This room is so white and beautiful.” She
smiled looking at all of the bright daisies that lightened the room. “Daddy is
in heaven. I think he’s happy.” She looked out the window near the casket. The
sky was beautiful, she had to go get a closer look. “Let’s go to the beach. In
honor of Daddy.”
“Okay,
let’s go. It would be a good way to remember Daddy. He always took us to the
beach.” She started walking out of the room as Cathy stayed in place by the
casket. “Are you coming Cathy?”
“Yes,
in a minute. I just have to say one more thing to Daddy.” She turned back
towards the casket as Carly went out to the hall to wait for her. “Daddy, I
love you so much. You were the first example of a real man. I will never ever
forget you or anything that you taught me. You were one of a kind. I don’t
really know what I am going to do without you, but I am going to try to live my
life to the fullest for you. You mean the world to me. Whenever I am missing
you, I will just look in my heart and feel your warmth there. I love you Daddy,
rest in peace.” She wiped a tear from her eye and ran out of the room to find
Carly. There was no looking back or turning back. Her father would want her to
look forward and live in the present. She would do just that.
“There
you are, I was waiting for you. Are we going to the beach now?” Carly asked as
she stood by the door of the funeral parlor.
Cathy
responded by grabbing her sister’s hand and running as fast as she could
through the doors. “Yes we are. We’re running all the way there.” She took off
her shoes while she was running and threw them next to the funeral home.
“Why
are we running?” Carly asked jogging to keep up with her sister. “Couldn’t we
just walk? It won’t get dark for a few more hours and the beach is less than a
block away.”
“Because
when we run we can feel a rush. We can feel the breeze going through our hair.
We feel alive. We can feel Daddy’s spirit.” Cathy looked up at the sky again
and smiled. She couldn’t wait to get to the beach. Her heart was beginning to
feel full again. She had felt crushed for such a long time that she forgot what
it was like to feel whole.
“Cathy,
we’re here. Can we stop running now?” Carly huffed and puffed as she laid her
whole body in the sand. “You’re wearing me out.” She closed her eyes and opened
them again. “Why did we come here again? I know Daddy took us here, but there
has to be some other reason. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Because
of what Daddy told me. The last thing he said before he died.” She looked up at
the sky and smiled.
“What
did he say Cathy?” Her earnest blue eyes looked at her sister with fear.
“He
said that whenever we are missing him, that we should look for him in our
hearts. That’s where we will find him. He’ll always be alive in our hearts. I
wanted to come here because sunset was Daddy’s favorite time of day. He loved
the sun setting into the ocean. His favorite type of sky is right in front of
us. It’s a sailor’s delight. Whenever the clouds are red like that, it means
the next day will be sunny. Now all of our days will be sunny. Daddy isn’t
dead, he’s alive in our hearts and he always will be.”
Cathy
put her arm around Carly as they just sat in the sand together and watched the
sky. She looked down at her all black dress and cringed. She felt as if she
should have worn white. White was the color of bliss, happiness and heaven. For
the first time in days, she felt herself relaxing. It felt good to be with her
sister at a place they constantly visited with their father. It was a peaceful
moment and from that moment on, Cathy knew she would be okay. Her father lived
in her and her sister. He hadn’t really died. He still lived on in their
hearts.
“I
can’t believe you let her go!” Carly screeched on the phone. “I also can’t
believe you waited this long to tell me. You actually caught her six months ago
and you’re just now telling me?”
“I
didn’t think you would understand. You would have thought I was crazy at the
time, so I just never mentioned it until now,” Cathy said as she sat down on
her leather couch next to Chris. They were both eating strawberries and
watching some documentary on marine animals. It was a Saturday morning and
Cathy was glad that she was able to sleep in and relax. Weekends were always
her favorite, she was able to do what she wanted without a schedule. “I just
had to let her go Carly. You should have seen her face. I couldn’t hurt her.
She was pregnant. It wasn’t her fault that she killed Marc. It was just purely
an accident.”
“I
still think that you’re crazy, but as your sister I understand. I know how much
you love animals. You’re a marine biologist, I couldn’t see you hurting an
animal. I won’t give you too much heartache over it, it was your decision and I
respect that. How has everything else been going?” Carly asked inquisitively.
“Everything
has been great. I’m almost finished with graduate school. If I take some summer
classes, I should probably finish by the winter. I’m still sad at times, but
I’m getting through it a lot better. I feel stronger now. Chris and I are just
watching some documentary and we’re going to go to the lab later. The Shark
Savor’s meeting was cancelled today due to the weather. Chris wasn’t sure if it
was going to rain or not, so he called it off. I talked to Officer Sanchez the
other day.” She said looking over at Chris, whose eyes were still glued to the
television.
“What
did he say?” Carly asked with interest.
“After
nine months of not finding a body, his mother is going to go through with the
funeral arrangements. It’s set for tomorrow, I know it’s kind of last minute
but if you want to come I can text you the directions. I think it will be good
closure for everyone,” She said with compassion. “I’ll call you back later,
there’s just one thing I need to do before Chris and I leave for the lab.”
“I’ll
be there. Text me the address. Call me back whenever you can. I know you’re
busy, but I miss you! Bye Sis.” She ended the call cheerfully.
Cathy
plugged in the number after finding it in a text that Officer Sanchez had sent
her. What she was about to do was long overdue and she worried about how it
would be taken. She wished she would have done it sooner, but that was the past
and she couldn’t change what she hadn’t done. She had to look forward towards
the present and look past all of her previous mistakes.
“Hello?
Who is this?” A woman’s voice asked with anxiety.
“Mrs.
Porter? This is Cathy Montanan. I was the girl who was dating your son before
he died. I was just calling to get in touch with you. I know that this is long
overdue, but it was just a painful time. I’m sure you understand.”
“Oh
yes, Cathy. Marc talked about you all of the time. I understand, it was a
horrible time for me. I lost my son, the person I was closest to. He took care
of me every day. I feel lost without him.” She said in a saddened tone.
“I
do too. When he died, I felt as if a piece of me died. I know that he loved
you. He talked about you all of the time too. I’m sure he is watching down on
you and making sure that you are alright.” She paused, unsure of what to say
next. “I heard from Officer Sanchez that you were holding the funeral tomorrow.
I just wanted to let you know that I am coming. My sister, mother and my best
friend Chris will most likely be joining me. I hope that’s alright. Even though
it’s been nine months, I know that you still feel the pain. I do too, maybe we
can get through it together.”
“Cathy,
I am glad that you called. I had been meaning to call you as well. I wanted to
personally invite you and your family to the funeral, times were just tough. I
was spending every day crying, missing my son. Life has been so hard without
him. I never planned on him dying before me. He was my best friend and the
light of my life. I still feel the pain too. I would love a friend to talk to.
Would you like to come over sometime and have a cup of tea? It would be great
to finally meet you and share some of our memories that we had with Marc.” Her
voice filled with sorrow as she could barely get the words out.
“I
would love that. I know you’re probably really busy tomorrow, but I could stop
by before you go to the funeral. We could have some tea and then go together.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you those first couple of months when he died. He
just meant so much to me. I’m really sorry about your loss. I just want you to
know that I thought about you every day and that you were always in my
prayers.” Cathy said with true goodness.
“Yes,
that would be wonderful. Don’t worry about it, it was a rough time for both of
us. At least we are reconnecting now. That’s what’s important. I will see you
tomorrow, my dear. Come sometime in the morning. It doesn’t matter what time, I
will be here all day. I’m looking forward to meeting you.” She said with a note
of sincerity.
“Mrs.
Porter?” Cathy asked before she could hang up.