Shannon's Daughter (45 page)

“So you
ran away.”

“I
couldn’t stay in that house any longer.
 
I just need time to adjust to the idea that all the things I’ve been so
proud of, the things about me that I thought I inherited from him, the things I
planned to do because that’s what his daughter would be expected to do, aren’t
real.
 
When I read that diary it seemed more
like a novel.
 
But it’s all true.
 
If Joseph Shannon had lived, I would have
grown up the daughter of a chorus girl and a con-man.”

“That’s
a bit harsh, isn’t it?
 
You don’t know that
he was a criminal.”

“I know
his friends are criminals.
 
And that
scheme he went to Chicago to cash in on was hardly a solid business venture,
I’m sure.
 
As it was, he lost what little
money he had and was coming back to his pregnant girlfriend without any means
to support her.
 
Don’t you see I’ve been
so secure, so confident that I was entitled to all the fine things in life, and
if not for a twist of fate and the kindness of one lonely, wealthy man, my life
would have been completely different?
 
So
who does that make me really?
 
Am I the
privileged daughter of a millionaire, or just a lucky kid who’s been trained to
act like one?”

“What
do you plan to do now?”

“That’s
what they’re all wondering at home, I’m sure.
 
I don’t know.
 
I couldn’t think
back there.
 
I couldn’t even eat or
sleep.
 
I got to the point I was jumping
at my own shadow.
 
I was afraid I might
be having a nervous breakdown, to be honest.
 
I just need time, Kendall.
 
And
this was the only place I could think of to come where no one would pressure
me.”

“Of
course not.
 
But what about your family
here?
 
You can’t hide from them
indefinitely.”

“I was
hoping you’d help me with that.
 
At least
for the moment, no one knows where I am.
 
Oh, I expect Michael has someone looking and it won’t be too hard to
figure it out.
 
But if I can just stay
here with you, it will give me time to think.
 
I don’t expect you to lie, if someone asks, but maybe you could run
interference for me for a little while?”

“Run
interference?”
 
He couldn’t help
smiling.
 
She’d obviously already done
quite a bit of thinking.

“I
fully expect he’ll call you.
 
In fact
your telephone rang several times one night and I felt sure it was him.
 
If he calls, you could tell him I’m here and
that I’m all right.”

“I
could do that.
 
You’re an adult,
Peg.
 
You have a right to do what you
want.
 
I doubt you need to be so worried.
 
He isn’t going to send someone to force you
to go back.”

“Oh, I
know.
 
But if I talk to him, he’ll make
me feel ungrateful.
 
I know I’ve hurt him
with some of the questions I’ve asked.
 
When
I go back, assuming I go back, I need to be sure of my place there.
 
Right now, I’m not sure of anything.”

Her
voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper and she was trembling visibly.
 
Drawing her across his lap, he felt her begin
to sob softly.
 
“Shh.
 
I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, love,
but you’re safe here to take all the time you need.”

Nodding,
she sniffed against his chest.
 
“You’ve
always made me feel safe, cared for.
 
When I first found out, I wanted to come here, but that seemed so
cowardly.
 
After a while, it seemed the
only possible way to get past this.
 
I
need you, Kendall.”
 
The sobs came again,
gasps of silent grief quaking through her body.
 
His heart twisted as he acknowledged how fragile she was, physically and
emotionally, and at the same time a shiver of fear skittered through his
chest.
 
Peg had always been strong, at
least on the surface, but he’d known deep down she was vulnerable and far less
certain of herself than she appeared.
 
Her mention of a breakdown touched on a very sensitive point.
 
Even the strongest minded were not immune,
given enough strain.
 

“There
now, I know tears are supposed to be cleansing, but you’re soaking my
shirt.
 
Let me fix us some tea and maybe
we could take a little walk later?
 
Fresh
air and sunshine couldn’t hurt after being cooped up in here for days.”
 
He lifted her face, cupping her chin in his
palm.
 
“What do you say?”

“Okay.”
 
She wiped her face and sniffed loudly.
 
“But please say I can stay here with you.
 
I won’t be any trouble, I promise.”

He
chuckled softly.
 
“Of course you
will.
 
You’ll completely disrupt my
boring life and distract me from anything useful.
 
But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
 
Although I do think we should find a place to
stow your things so I can stop barking my shins on your luggage.”

She let
out something between a snort and a giggle.
 
“Sorry.
 
It was all I could do to
drag it up the stairs.
 
I’ve never
appreciated how hard bellhops have to work.”

While
he set the tea brewing, she washed her face, coming back to the kitchen looking
drained but notably more relaxed.
 
“You
know this visit is actually timed quite conveniently, brat.
 
I have off two entire weeks, give or take a
rehearsal now and then.
 
We might go up
to Hertford for a few days, putter in the garden,
enjoy
a bit of country air.”

“How’s
the house doing?
 
Do you spend much time
there?”

“As
much as I can.
 
I find I quite enjoy it.
 
Oh, I rattled around a bit at first, but now
it feels like home.
 
Mrs. Beatty found a
quite capable fellow to tend to the outside, and with just me there on the
occasional weekend, she manages to keep up things in the house.
 
She’ll be thrilled you’ve come back.
 
She always asks how you’re getting on.”

“That’s
sweet.
 
Tell me what else you’ve been up
to.
 
You’re not a very good correspondent,
you know.
 
According to your letters you
never go anywhere or do anything.”

“Ah,
well that about sums it up really.
 
Nothing to tell.”
 
He
hesitated, debating whether this was the best time to introduce the
subject.
 
“Actually, there is one new
thing on my plate.
 
I’ve become more
involved in Jenny’s care.
 
Without Grandfather
to act as go-between, I thought it only right to contact her father.”

“How is
she?”

“The
same.
 
We decided to move her to a smaller place,
more of a private home with only a half-dozen patients, closer to London.
 
She’s seems to be calmer.
 
There’s a piano there, and come to find out,
she still plays.”

“Really?
 
That’s amazing.”

“It was
quite a surprise.
 
Apparently, she just
sat down one day and started playing Beethoven.
 
The matron called Ralph, that’s Jenny’s father, to let him hear it over
the telephone.
 
Of course, he was
convinced at first it meant she was getting well, but nothing else has
changed.
 
She still doesn’t speak, or
seem to know us.”

“You go
to see her?”

“Couple
of times a month.
 
I can sit down with her now and she doesn’t
seem to mind.
 
It’s odd, but not as
uncomfortable as I thought it might be.”

Peg
seemed to focus on his hands as he spread butter on slices of bread.
 
“I think that’s wonderful,” she said
softly.
 
“That she can play when she
wants to, I mean.
 
It has to be a comfort
to her, deep down.
 
And it’s wonderful
too that you’re able to stay involved with her.
 
It always seemed sad to me that she was out of your life
completely.
 
You did love her at one time,
after all.”

He put
down the knife carefully.
 
“Yes, well,
don’t read too much into it.
 
She’s
hardly the woman I fell in love with, and her father still has the final say
regarding her care.
 
Although he does
seem to appreciate my involvement, such as it is.
 
But I have to be very careful not to let my
mother know what I’m up to.
 
More lies,
I’m afraid.
 
Now, would you prefer
strawberry jam or marmalade on your toast?”

Peg
blinked at him, tilting her head.
 
“Life
is so much more complicated than we ever expected, isn’t it?
 
And it seems to come down to the way people
care about one another.
 
Men and women
fall in love.
 
Parents try to protect
their children.
 
Children want to measure
up to their parents’ expectations.
 
It
seems to do all that, people are forced to
lie
at
least a little, or risk losing the ones they care the most about.”

“Deep
thoughts, sweetheart.
 
Here, have some tea and everything will look
brighter.”

“I wish
it were that simple.”

“It is,
for right now.
 
It seems to me the first
order of business is for you to rest and relax a bit.
 
I can’t offer you much, but I can try to take
your mind off your problems.
 
And feed
you. You’re practically wasting away.
 
How long has it been since you ate a good meal?”

“I told
you, I couldn’t eat or sleep.
 
I avoided
meals with
my .
.
with
Michael, because I couldn’t seem to swallow with him watching me.
 
I didn’t think I could hide all that’s been
happening from Connie or any of my other friends and I wasn’t comfortable going
out alone, so I just stayed in my room most of the time.
 
The walls started closing in and I couldn’t
sleep for trying to breathe.”

“How
long has this been going on?”

“June
thirtieth.
 
That’s the day I asked Mrs.
Leary if she knew.”

“Good
heavens.
 
No wonder you’re so worn
down.”
 
He pushed away from the
table.
 
“Come here.”
 
Pulling her from her chair, he wrapped her
gently in his arms.
 
“I know this has
been very hard, and I don’t mean to trivialize any of it.
 
But you owe it to yourself to put it out of
your mind for the time being.
 
Since
you’ve come to me, you have to allow me to take care of you.
 
And that means you’re going to let me order
you about and stuff you with good food and drag you out in the sunshine every
day.
 
And make riotous love to you every
night,
if
you’re a good girl and do
as I say.
 
Agreed?”

Her
face twisted in something between a grin and a grimace.
 
“I suppose.
 
How will you explain my being here?”

“Ah,
that may take some creativity, but we’ll come up with something.
 
I know!
 
My poor little American cousin has run away from her cheating
ex-fiancée.
 
He’s determined to drag her
back and force her to forgive him and as her elder relative, it’s my duty to
provide her a place to hide out.
 
I’ll
make a show of sleeping on the couch, stiff neck,
the
works.
 
The sisters Hastings will love me
all the more for my noble sacrifice and Mr. Kemper will sympathize with my
sciatica.
 
As for anyone else, we’ll just
take it as it comes.
 
Mother never calls
around here, so we needn’t worry about her dropping by unannounced.
 
I’ll tell the lads in the quartet it’s none of
their business and they’ll assume the worst, but who cares?”