Shame (Ruin #3) (27 page)

“Yeah.”

Jack didn’t move.

“Is there anything else you need?”

“I think—” Jack grinned. “—I’ve got all I need, but thanks for asking. See you in class.”

I could have sworn he’d said
“or not”
under his breath. The kid was getting creepier and creepier every time I saw him.

When I slammed the door and locked it, Lisa was shaking on the couch. I quickly dropped the pizza onto the table and pulled her into my arms. “What’s wrong?”

“Jack…” Her teeth chattered. “…when I came home late this morning, he was at my door. He said he was leaving me a note but…”

“Shit.” I pulled out my phone to dial Gabe. “Has he ever been inside your apartment?”

“Yeah, once.”

“Yeah, Gabe,” I barked into the phone. “Do a background check on Jack McHale.”

“Spell it.”

I spelled out the name, ready to chase after the kid and wring his scrawny little neck if he’d had any involvement. “That all you need?”

“Yup. I should have some info to you by morning.”

“Cool, thanks.”

I hung up and faced Lisa. “Gabe’s on it.”

She groaned. “He really freaked me out earlier, but maybe he’s just… temperamental.”

“Tell me exactly what he did.”

The more she shared, the harder I clenched my fists. My teeth ground together. I don’t even remember how many curse words escaped my mouth, but I had to have set a record.

“But I’m fine,” Lisa urged, putting her hand on my arm. Then, as if remembering we weren’t exactly on speaking terms, she pulled back. “Really. I’m good.”

“I’ll kill him.”

“Don’t.” She gave me a weak smile. “After all, who’d deliver us pizza?”

“I’m not laughing. It’s not funny.” I crossed my arms. “He’s a jackass, and if he touches you again, you use your Taser, got it?”

“I’ll Taser his ass.” Lisa nodded. “But he did say something about switching partners so… yeah.”

“Thinking about him even spending time with you makes me want to rip his head off. Let’s eat… or something.”

“Before you go hunt him down?”

I shuddered. “Yeah, eat.”

Lisa pulled out a piece and started taking tiny nibbles.

I rolled my eyes and pinned her in my stare. “Take bigger bites. You need food. You haven’t eaten all day.”

“If I take big bites, I may choke.”

“Then I’ll cut them for you.”

“You’re really abrasive tonight.”

I looked down. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Her eyes were haunted, not clear like they’d been before the world had come crashing down on our relationship.

We both finished dinner in silence.

“I’m tired.” Lisa stood. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Right.” I stood, unsure if I could hug her or if I should just stay away. I finally settled on nothing and watched her shoulders slump as if disappointed.

Cursing myself, I cleaned up the mess and tried to get comfortable on the couch. I was exhausted, so at least I’d sleep through the night.

The last thing I remembered before dozing off was a vision of Lisa in her yoga pants.

****

A blood curdling scream erupted from Lisa’s room. I jolted awake and damn-near ran into her door trying to get it open.

Lisa was tossing in bed; she was covered in sweat. “No, no! Just leave me alone!”

I rushed to her side and tried to wake her up.

With a scream, her fist went flying — directly into my jaw.

Cursing, I almost fell to the ground. Who knew she could punch like that?

“Oh my gosh!” Lisa covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I thought… I thought you were him.”

“Taylor.” Defeat surrounded me.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” I croaked. “I heard you screaming and thought there was someone in here and…”

Lisa burst into tears.

“Aw, sweetheart…” I didn’t give a damn if she hated me. I was holding her. I was going to hold her until all the tears dried. I tugged her into my lap and rocked her back and forth.

“I’m so mad at you.”

“I know.”

“You ruined everything.”

My chest felt like it was cracking. “I know.”

“But I — I think I love you. That’s why it hurts so bad. It won’t go away, the pain in my chest. It won’t go away, and I keep hoping that when I close my eyes and wake up again, it will go away, but—”

I kissed her into silence, putting everything I had into it, molding my lips to hers, forcing her to feel what I felt for her. When we broke apart, I was out of breath. “Lisa, look at me.”

Tears pooled in her eyes.

“I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Even if I punch you in the jaw?”

“Yes, even then.”

“Even if right now my anger overshadows everything else?”

“Even then,” I whispered. “I’d rather you hate me forever yet let me in your life, than love me for a moment and push me away.”

She nodded, wiping at her tears. “I don’t know if I can… if I can trust you again. You hurt me   s-so bad.”

“Lisa, if I could take that hurt from you and carry it for the rest of my life, I would. I know that’s not how life works, but know I’d do it in an instant. If I could take all that guilt and shame? There would be no hesitation, but because I can’t, at least let me hold your hand while you walk through it.”

Nodding, she slowly lay back down in bed. “Will you lie down with me?”

“Yeah.” Some of the anxiety of the day lifted. “I can do that.”

Tucking her in against my body, I kissed her forehead as she drifted off to sleep and vowed I’d never let anyone hurt her for as long as I lived — even if that meant keeping her from me. I’d die before I hurt her again.

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

You aren’t born with fear… you’re born with love. Fear develops as you realize that the world isn’t as perfect as you’d once assumed. Fear is a learned habit — and I was its student. —
Lisa

Lisa

I
WOKE UP
alone. Immediately, I jolted upright and looked for Tristan. He wasn’t in the living room. Just as I turned around to go back into my room and grab my cell, the bathroom door burst open.

Tristan stood there, dripping wet and naked.

Completely. Gloriously. Naked.

His jaw went slack.

My eyes went wide.

Neither of us said anything.

Until finally I cleared my throat and folded my arms. “Well, I’d say good morning, but you beat me to it.”

He scratched his head, the V from his abs flexing as water fell to the floor. “No towels.”

“They’re in my room.”

“Because you like naked men running around trying to find things to dry themselves with?”

“First naked man in my dorm.” I tried to hide my smile but ended up bursting out laughing.

“Stop laughing.”

It felt good to laugh, so I laughed harder. He looked so hot and pathetic standing there.

“That’s it.” In a blur, he charged toward me and threw me onto the couch. He hovered over my body, his eyes heated.

And this time, rather than overthink, I did what felt natural. I jerked his head down and kissed him hard on the mouth.

With a groan, he relaxed against me and then pulled my body tightly against his. I could feel every muscle, every breath he took as if I was breathing with him. I didn’t want the moment to end; I wanted it to last forever.

Moaning, I scratched down his back.

With a growl, he reached for my tank top, just as the phone buzzed on the table.

“Phone.” I breathed.

“I don’t care.”

“It could be important.”

“This is important.”

“Tristan…”

Cursing, he pulled back and snatched his phone from the table. “This better be good,” he barked.

His entire face paled within a few seconds, and then he was off me, diving for my computer.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I watched in horror as he pulled up the same webpage I’d helped create, the same web page that had ended up being my downfall.

The homepage had changed.

Instead of having videos of other people...

It had nothing but videos of me and Tristan.

Everywhere.

Holding hands. Kissing. Making out in my dorm room.

And that wasn’t the worse part.

Because there was a live feed, and he’d just been naked, with me, on school property.

I gasped, covering my face with my hands, while Tristan slammed the computer shut then ran over to all the cameras and pulled the wires from them.

His chest was heaving.

I was too shocked to cry. “How?”

Tristan cursed and looked away. “I don’t know, but… I think it’s safe to say our relationship is no longer illegal.”

“Because you’re fired?”

“I’m guessing the dean would frown upon the idea of me screwing my student.”

I hissed out a breath.

“That came out wrong.”

“You think?” I fought the urge to throw something at his face. “And this isn’t just about you! That’s me! That’s my reputation!” With shaky legs, I collapsed onto the couch. “What are we going to do?”

Tristan joined me on the couch and pulled a blanket over his lap. “We’re going to find the bastard and destroy him and then… you’re going to move in with me. Even if you fight me every step of the way, I’m going to keep asking until you give in. Whoever did this…” He swore. “…knew your every move. Who knows where else the cameras—”

Tristan jolted up from his seat, ran into the bathroom, and started pulling things from the cupboards. I slowly walked after him and froze when he pulled a camera from a spot behind one of the fake plants I’d put on the shelf for decoration. “That’s not from Gabe.”

“No.” Tristan sighed. “It’s not. We need to check your room.”

All in all, we found six more cameras. I had no idea how much they’d caught, but it was enough to make me feel more than terrified. I was dirty, shameful, like I’d been performing for someone without even knowing it.

“I’m going to kill that guy…” Tristan pulled on his jeans and threw a T-shirt over his head. “…with my bare hands.”

“Don’t.” I shook my head. “We have no proof it’s him… none. If you go after him, it could make things worse, just… we need to just lay low. I can drop out of school and—”

“Hell, no!” Tristan roared. “You aren’t dropping out of school just because some psychopath has a sick obsession with you.”

His phone went off again. “Shit.”

“What?”

“The dean.”

I cringed.

“Hello?” He blinked, his shoulders tense. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes…yes…yes.” His eyes found mine. “A few weeks. Alright.”

When he hung up, the room was tense.

“Are you fired?”

“I have a meeting…” Tristan sighed. “…where I’ll most likely sign papers of resignation if the dean’s pissed-off tone was any indication. It seems all the money in the world can’t protect you from giving the university a bad rep.”

“It’s my fault.” Tears started pooling in my line of vision. “If you wouldn’t have seen my picture… if I wouldn’t have fallen for Taylor.”

“No!” Tristan rushed to my side and gripped my face with both hands. “Look at me, Lisa! None of this is your fault! None of it! You’re perfect. He was sick, a sick kid, alright? It’s not your fault. Don’t let him win. We’re going to be okay… I swear. Just... damn it, I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Starbucks.” I nodded. “It’s not like the whole world has seen the website yet, unless it’s gone viral, which that’s always possible, too. I’ll hang out at Starbucks. I’ll put on a hat, and I’ll read or something. Nobody would attack me in public.”

“Okay.” Tristan sighed, running his hands through his reddish brown hair. “I’ll drop you off and pick you up when I’m done. I don’t want you going to class today, not with a lunatic running around. I’ll send an email to your professors, explaining the situation.”

I nodded.

“It’s going to be fine.” He kissed my mouth hard. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Do you understand?”

“Yeah.” My lower lip quivered. “And this isn’t your fault, Lisa. Please, it destroys me when I see that look on your face. Now, put on something hideous, so people don’t notice you, and grab a hat.”

****

Minutes later, I had a quad-shot latte and a romance novel in my lap. Starbucks wasn’t that busy, and, for the most part, nobody seemed to even notice me. I kept my phone in my lap with my book, just in case I needed to call Tristan. I knew it was bad… he was going to be fired. But what was worse, I knew that if it leaked out into the media who he really was, who I was? It would destroy his father’s career, and to me, it just seemed like a matter of time before that happened.

The freaking Secretary of State was going to know my name.

Because it looked like I was in a sex tape with his son.

I groaned and leaned my head back against the couch.

“Rough night?” a smooth voice said next to me. I didn’t turn around, but all the hairs on the back of my arm stood on edge.

“Yeah.”

In my peripheral vision, all I saw was a guy in glasses wearing a Yankee hat. I couldn’t make out his profile because part of the hood of his sweatshirt was pulled up to cover the side of his face. “That sucks. Hope it gets… better.”

“Thanks,” I muttered as he stood and left the coffee shop, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Chills ran down my arms. I rubbed them and then reached for my coffee, just as Jack sat down across from me.

“So.” He put his legs up on the table. “Tell me, how does an orgasm from a teacher feel? I’ve always wanted to know. Is he better in bed because he’s forbidden…?” His eyes gleamed. “Off limits?”

“Jack.” I looked around to see if there were enough people in the coffee shop to notice if he made a move. Three. Three people. “Look, I don’t want to fight.”

“Found you a new partner.” He ignored me. “You know, since you find me so disgusting.”

“You’re not,” I said quickly. “But you did scare me last night.”

“Good.” He nodded. “Fear is good.”

“Pardon?”

“Fear is learned… and you… you’ve been such a great student. You know, I wanted to save you, but I can’t anymore, Lisa. I can’t save you.” His eyes pooled with tears. “Just remember, you did this to yourself.”