Shadows on Snow: A Flipped Fairy Tale (Flipped Fairy Tales) (11 page)

“Finally decided to join the living?” Erata said, jumping out at me from around the corner.

I yelped, startled yet again. “Why do my sisters insist on trying to scare me as they did when I was a child?” I said, scowling.

“Because it’s funny,” she said, popping a piece of carrot into her mouth.

“You won’t think it’s so amusing when you finally succeed in stopping my heart.”

She waved it off. “Don’t be so dramatic, Rae.”

“I’m tired,” I said, pulling out a chair at the table. “So would you be if you’d spent the last half year as I have.”

Erata plopped down beside Delphine. “You’re always tired.”

“And you’re exhausting.”

“Children,” Delphine said. “Be civil.”

Erata folded her arms across her chest. “I’m always civil.”

I yawned. “That depends on your definition of civil. I understand that the undeveloped tribes in the far east—”

Delphine fixed me with a look, and I thought better of my comment. She turned her gaze on Erata. “Rae’s not even been back a day yet. Try to be a bit more understanding.”

Grimacing, Erata relented. “Very well.”

“That will do nicely, thank you, Leo. You learn quickly,” Adelaide said behind me. I balked at the use of his informal name, though Adelaide made it sound completely natural.

“My skill is only the result of a fine teacher,” he replied. “I’m happy to help where I can.”

She giggled into her hand. “Then if you’ve a mind to help, why don’t you collect Farah and Clarice from the yard. Let them know to clean up for lunch.”

“My pleasure,” he said, passing by me on his way out. He turned and offered the four of us a bow. “Ladies, I’ll be but a moment.”

I stared after him. He made Adelaide, a grown woman who’d acted as mother to six other girls for ten years, giggle as though she were fifteen again. What fairy enchanted him to make that possible?

Belinda entered with an armload of plates as he left, placing them on the table as Adelaide sat beside me. All four of my sisters present immediately leaned in toward me, staring intently.

“What?” I said, utterly confused. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

Belinda twittered a laugh. “Eyes of a hawk, yet blind as a bat.”

“What?”

“You didn’t tell me many things, Rae,” Delphine said, brushing back a wavy lock of nearly black hair. “But he told us much about you this morning.”

“He’s very handsome,” Adelaide said, winking.

Erata laughed. “And clearly very tolerant to put up with you smelling as you do.”

Resting my forehead in the palm of my hand, I prayed for the spirits to send me patience. “What’s the matter with all of you? I’ve not even had tea yet and you think I’m concerned with this silliness?”

Adelaide pushed a steaming mug in front of me. “There you are.”

I wrapped my hands around the warm cup, frowning into the herbal concoction. “He’s only a man, sisters. You’ve been out of the world too long. Don’t lose your heads over a pretty face. Especially one that must eventually be restored to his throne.”

“You never said much about it,” Delphine said. “How was the masked ball, Rae?”

I choked on a sip of the hot tea. “The masked ball? Why do you want to know about that?”

The looks they gave spoke louder than audible insults to my intelligence.

“What did he tell you?” I said, still irritable. “Though I doubt his side of it included my skulking about the passages in the walls or creeping into his mother’s bedchamber.”

“What song was it?” Adelaide asked as she set a hand on my arm. Her hazel eyes glistened with memories of her youthful days at parties and dances in flowing gowns.

I softened my expression. Of all of us, I knew she missed those days the most. “The Willow Waltz,” I said. “Mama’s favorite.” Their collective sighs tugged a sad smile onto my face.

“What I wouldn’t give to have seen you,” Delphine said, uncharacteristically wistful. “Lucinda said you were a true vision.”

My mood soured. “Yes, well, a lot of good it did me. I was too late to be of use to anyone. I’m always too late.”

“You mustn’t be so hard on yourself, Raelynn.” Reaching across the table, Delphine took my hands. “The fault rests with that evil man. Leo harbors no ill will towards us for our failure to save the queen. You must forgive yourself.”

“Leo, is it?” I mumbled. “Lowered your guard already, have you all?”

Her hands squeezed mine. “There’s no need to guard yourself from him. I know what it is you fear, but not all men are as that other.”

I broke the contact and pushed back from the table, standing. “So you say, but I’ve found it to be otherwise. Do not speak to me of how the world is.” I headed for the door, shuddering. “You’ve all been away from it too long. You don’t know its truth anymore.”

No longer hungry, I returned to my shared room, hoping a bath and fresh clothes might improve my mood.

The feel of the water as it closed around my body elicited a deep sigh from my lungs. The hot spring near the cabin was easily my favorite part of our home. My aches and pains seeped out of me, bringing relief to places I didn’t know were hurting. The grime, the stench of six months living amongst horses, all of it sloughed off of me in waves, washing away down the little stream that carried the water off into the forest. After three thorough applications of Adelaide’s wonderful goat’s milk soap, at last I began to feel human again.

As my fingertips brushed the pale scar running down the left side of my ribs, my thoughts turned to the old wound. It would never fully heal, but the injury itself hadn’t stopped me from anything. Belinda said I was lucky when she stitched me up. She said it was only skin deep. It wasn’t, however. It served as a permanent reminder of my own powerlessness and the evil humanity was capable of. It was a warning to never underestimate them again.

I dipped below the surface for a moment, drowning out the sound of my own thoughts. There were other things to think of, and I needed to focus on those.
 

How could we return Prince Leopold to his throne and ensure his continued safety? I wasn’t sure who at the palace, if anyone, could be trusted. Possibly some of the lords and ladies of the court who shared blood ties with him, but I knew from my own experience that family couldn’t always be counted on. It was a cousin of my mother’s that betrayed the aunt and uncle who helped my sisters and me. A man of a lower house, he leveraged his knowledge to gain a position of greater power, and was now seated on King Alder’s high council in Bern after a string of deaths related to our escape. He’d fancied Adelaide for himself long ago, but my mother wouldn’t hear of it. Neither would Adelaide.

And so, the question remained. How could we return Prince Leopold to his rightful place and know he was safe from the wiles of King Alder?

I surfaced without any answers, but realized that, for once, I didn’t have to tackle the problem alone. Perhaps the prince would have ideas of his own, and there would be counsel from all of my sisters to weigh in on the matter.

I leaned my head back on the edge of the spring, inhaling the icy winter air. For the first time in months, I relaxed, drifting away from my worries, if only for a little while. There would be time for them later.

A twig snapped, and I opened my eyes. Perhaps it was only an animal.

“Rae?” he said as he pushed through the trees surrounding the hot springs. “Erata said you needed—”

Gasping, I turned from him, hiding myself as best I could, my back to him. “What the devil are you doing here?” I said, mortified and shaking. “Have you lost all sense?”

I heard him spin around, and I glanced over my shoulder to confirm it.

“Erata said you needed to see me. I didn’t know you were…” He coughed nervously. “That is…”

Erata. I should have known. Only she would find this sort of horrid joke funny. Gathering my courage, I inched over to the side, resting my hand on the large towel at the edge. “Turn around, and I’ll have your eyes for marbles.”

“You have my word.”

Watching for any sign of movement from him, I pulled myself from the water and barely dried off before stepping into the clean clothes I’d brought with me. The linen trousers and tunic clung to my wet skin, but I didn’t feel the ice on the wind. Raw anger burned in my stomach. How could my own sister be so thoughtless? Did she truly hate me? The mere thought of being touched by a man sent chills through my veins, but this?

The longer I thought on it, the more furious I became. Without a word to the prince, I stalked past him, saving my rage for the person responsible.

“Rae, please wait,” he said, catching up to me. “I didn’t mean—”

“Keep your distance, Highness,” I seethed at him. “Or I’ll not be held responsible for what you unleash in me.”

At that, his steps abruptly stopped. Ever faster, I came up on the house, pushing open the door with a loud bang as it hit against the inside wall.

“Where is she?” I demanded when Adelaide and Belinda looked up at me from their books.

“Where’s who?” Erata said from the kitchen doorway.

Gaze firmly fixed on her, I crossed the room to stand before her. As she opened her mouth to speak, I met her with a harsh slap across her face.

Tears building in my eyes, I couldn’t contain my fury. “You are a hateful, horrible wretch.”

She stared at me in shock, gray eyes wide as she touched the red mark blooming on her cheek. Shaking, I spun away from her and ran up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me and flinging myself into bed. My wrath slowly ebbed away with each tear as I cried into my pillow. I didn’t wish to be seen, didn’t wish to be known. If I could, I would fade into invisibility, never again to let another man’s eyes rest on my body. Sick with my need for obscurity, I hid under my blankets, not bothering to fight the sobs that shook me.

A soft knock on the door disturbed my efforts to evaporate under the covers. At least two hours had passed since my retreat and this was the first time anyone dared approach me.

“Raelynn?” Clarice’s soft words carried to where I lay, curled up on my side. “May I come in?”

Not trusting my voice, I stayed silent.

The door clicked closed as it latched, and I felt her weight sink down onto the mattress. Her gentle touch on my shoulder soothed me, but brought slow, sad tears with it.

“What Erata did was irresponsible, Rae,” she said, “but it wasn’t done out of malice.”

“Why?” I whispered into my pillow. “Why would she do such a thing? She has no heart.”

“Oh, dearest one, she does. I promise you she does. It was foolish and ill-conceived, but not without reason. She thought she could show you that not all men are evil brutes who take advantage of situations. To that idea, she wasn’t wrong, but her methods…” Clarice shook her head. “It was careless and inconsiderate. She didn’t mean to cause you pain.”

“I don’t need her callous lessons. It’s not her place.”

“We’ve spoken with her.”

“Let her spend one night with my memories haunting her dreams. Let her awake to those smells, that violence. Then perhaps she would understand what it is I live with every day.” I shivered. “It’s relentless.”

She smoothed my hair. “It will get better, but only one thing will help you.”

“A spell of forgetfulness?”

With a little chuckle, she turned me to face her. When she touched my chin, I looked into her clear blue eyes, her gentle waves of wheat-colored hair framing her face.

“Love, dearest one. Its magic heals all things in time,” she said. “But it only works if you let it in. That’s the hardest part.”

Her form blurred through my tears. “I have all the love I need in my sisters.”

Setting her palm against my cheek, she smiled down at me. “There is more love in the world than could be contained in our family. Different loves heal different wounds. Place no limits on where you seek it.”

I frowned. “I would ask your advice on where I should look, but I can guess at your first suggestion.”

“You are a princess, after all. It’s not an unreasonable thought.”

Sighing, I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees. “I
was
a princess, Clarice. As were you. None of us have been for a very long time, and I was too young to thoroughly remember that life in great detail. Could you really see me always in dresses, flittering about and prattling on about hairstyles and fabrics?”

“There’s a bit more to it than that.”

I made a face. “As though I would know. It’s a ridiculous notion. I won’t waste my time on such delusions.”

Picking up a brush from my nightstand, she repositioned herself behind me. “There’s a great deal of difference between dreams and delusions, Rae,” she said as she brushed out my tangled locks. “And wisdom in knowing the difference between the two.”

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on my knees, enjoying our closeness as she worked through every snag. “The only dreams I have are ones of restful nights where I don’t wake up in tears or covered in manure or to the feel of a boot in my side.”

“Mmm,” she murmured. “Perhaps it’s time for you to dream bigger, dearest one.”

“I prefer reality. It’s much less disappointing that way.”

“May I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

The brushing stopped, and I turned to her.

“What is it you want in life?” she asked.

“I…” I paused. “Well, I haven’t given it much thought, really. I supposed I would stay here with all of you.”

She chuckled and shook her head. “Of all of us, you’re the least suited to this life, Rae. Perhaps Erata as well, but she was old enough when we left that our enemies might know her still. You, however…” Clarice took my hands in hers. “You know I would always miss you, but a life away from here is worth considering. There is more wonder and beauty in the world than what’s on this little parcel of land. You have a chance at something greater. Take it.”

Casting my eyes to the heavens, I shook my head. “A chance for what? And where? Everything I need is here, with all of you.”

“You need adventure, Rae. There’s none of that here. Despite what you say, you always have an eye on the horizon, on what awaits around the next corner. Who always ran ahead to scout the paths we traveled? Whose idea was it to trade in town for new things we needed? Who came home with news about the king and convinced us all to try to stop him?”