Shadowhunter (Nephilim Quest Book 1) (19 page)

As before, he looked right back at me. I saw golden dots swimming in the brilliant blue of his eyes. I gazed into them again. Yes - golden dots that were so bright they appeared to be moving.

"What...?" I almost asked, but didn't.

"What what?" he looked slightly amused (he seemed to find me permanently amusing), leaning back in his chair, measuring me openly with his gaze.

It felt like a caress on my cheek.

I managed to form an ordinary sounding question.

"So, what am I supposed to learn today?"

"You are supposed to learn what the gates are, and what the buffer zone is."

"I already know that. The gates are doorways to the Unseen Worlds, or afterworld... and the buffer zone is between those other worlds and ours. Oh, and it is also a pathway to different times. The book and Lilith already told me that much." I needed to sound smart; I was so off balance in his presence.

Daniel nodded.

"That's the easiest explanation. But you need to learn more. Such as how they are used, and for you to have better understanding, you need to experience the whole thing yourself. That is why I'll be taking you through our gate in the lobby."

My breakfast suddenly wanted to get out again. The scared little girl fearful of the dark was howling somewhere inside me.

"Is it safe?" I heard a mousy voice blurt out the question, and realized it belonged to me.

"It will be, with me." Daniel put down his coffee mug. "So, are you ready? Shall we go?"

"Just the two of us?"

"Yes, just the two of us."

"Right now?"

"No better time than right now. Let's go."

I really had no other choice but to follow him, with my knees wobbling, towards the lobby. Now that I was going to face the other side for real, I was not so sure I wanted to. Dreams were one thing, but to physically enter the place where the dead go... I began to feel nauseous as the fear crept into my mind, dragging itself to the front of my consciousness with sharp claws. Zombie faces swam up from the dark depths of my brain. Fangs, blood, curses... creatures half human, half beast. Every bad horror film I had ever seen, or book I had ever read, was suddenly playing out in full colour in my head.
 
I had forgotten how terrified of the unknown I had been as a child.

Daniel seemed to sense my emotions, even though he had his back to me. He stopped and looked at me over his broad shoulder. What he saw on my face made him turn around. I must have looked like a doomed deer in car headlights. His expression became concerned.

"Hey..." he cupped my face between his hands and leaned down to look into my eyes, "there's nothing to be afraid of, I swear."

"What about the shadows...?" I squealed, panic squeezing my voice higher.

His hands were burning hot on my cheeks; his blue eyes were swirling with strength.

"They cannot enter where we go. Trust me."

I was drawn deep into his eyes, and for a while was really afraid my knees would melt and I would turn into a puddle on the carpet. The warmth in his eyes was radiating a comfort that I'd never experienced before and it finally convinced my fearful mind that he could be trusted. I was sure he could clearly see all the fear of the dark and shadows that was lurking in my head. All I saw in his eyes was sympathy, and self-assurance. He wasn't the least bit scared.

I breathed deeply, slowly gaining my composure. He had to know what he was doing.

"Thank you. You're an angel... I have always been so afraid of the dark and the unknown. About what happens when we die..."

He blinked with a look of surprise. Then he smiled, took my hand, and led me to the hall and the gate. I concentrated on looking at the solid frames around it. It was the weirdest sight. Here were these old fashioned gilded frames, and between them was an opening to... somewhere outside our physical world. The odd thing was it looked perfectly normal and physical to me. I felt a twinge of embarrassment for feeling so afraid.

Daniel put his arm around my shoulder, and pulled me tight to his side. I swallowed, feeling his body against me, warm, safe and strong.

"Ready now?"

I took one deep breath and nodded.

"Ready," I managed a whisper.

He gave me one tight squeeze, and led me through the gate.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

24. The World Behind the Gate

We flew. Everything was so strange that I didn't even pay attention as to how exactly we were gliding over the landscape. We were just gliding. Maybe I should have focussed on it more, but it was as though my normal awareness had entered a frozen state at the thought of being in some other reality. I simply concentrated on Daniel's physical touch and the strength of his arm holding me securely against his side.

We were floating through the most beautiful scenery, almost touching the ground, but not quite. I looked at my feet dangling in the air, and the sensation was similar to that of lucid dreaming. There seemed to be a bluish halo surrounding my legs.
 

There was a glorious meadow, and a forest. And after a while, high mountains appeared on the horizon, crisp and sharp in the clear atmosphere. The sky was a luminous blue color. And to my surprise the air was filled with scents - somehow I had imagined it would be like being in a dream, where I could not smell anything. The aroma of flowers and pine trees was very clear. That convinced me I was definitely not dreaming.
 

We landed by a river. A crystal clear river. I could see big fish swimming in the glassy water. Huge ferns grew on the banks of the river and ancient trees towered above us. The colors were so vibrant, so amazing. I had never seen anything like this in my other life. It was as though the very essence of nature was here, and our world was only a faint reflection of it. Just - the sounds of this world were a bit strange - it was as though there was no echo here.

"Where are we...?" I whispered the question. The place was so beautiful it made me fear that the act of speaking aloud would shatter it.

"We are now in one of the upper layers of the Unseen Worlds, the highest we can get in the buffer zone," Daniel said. "This part of the zone is a mixture of the lower vibrations of the afterlife and the higher energies of the human world."

"What forms these... higher energies in the human world?" I asked, wonderingly.

"Emotions created by thoughts and experiences. Emotions create energy. Just as it said in the book - everything is energy. It goes to its own level. Beautiful thoughts and positive emotions and energies keep this level alive, lower energies feed the reality of the lower levels. You can actually create things by deliberately feeling emotions, but that is something not many people know about. It's very logical here, though."

Logical wasn't exactly the word I would have used about any of this. But I was clearly out of my league here and there seemed to be no reason why Daniel would need to be untruthful about something like this. There was no reason to confuse or tease me about this reality.
 

I looked at Daniel. If possible, he was even more breathtaking here. Tall, relaxed, handsome. This was his element.

"Can you see how these... thoughts, as you say, arrive here?"

"Yes, you can observe that too, but it is not safe for you at this stage. As human beings we all relate to thought at every level. Strong emotions, positive or negative, can sweep you off your feet and carry you away before you become properly aware of them.
 
Only more advanced humans can observe dispassionately the thoughts and emotions that conflict with them in their free-floating state, and so keep their footing, so to speak. You can do that if you know how to remain focussed with intent on a certain emotional level."

"Can you tell me where you can observe these thoughts? Emotions... energies, I mean."

"This side of reality is layered. Like the storeys of a house, to put it very basically. There is space above and under each 'floor', and in the space between the floors is the place where you can see the energies rising to their own level. They rise like smoke and the layer just absorbs the energies and they melt into the reality of that level."

"To do what?"

"They take whatever form is necessary to make the level more solid."

"Can you make unicorns with your thoughts?"

Daniel laughed and I wondered what on earth I was thinking to have asked something as stupid as that. Again the purring sound of his laughter made my head swim.

"Well, some thoughts are more - fashionable than others. Unicorns have been popular for a long time in Western history and belief. They might not be real in the human world, but when enough people think they are, the thoughts about unicorns can take shape here - as unicorns. And here - well, they could appear to be quite vivid as long as people believed in them."

Well, at least he had the good manners to answer a stupid question politely.

"So you say everything here is created by human mind?"

"By human mind, and human imagination. Thoughts are real energy. But do not forget the rest of creation. Animals have feelings and emotions too. As do plants, only in a different form. Some say even our planet has emotions, but I do not know about that. Still, there seems to be a strong unknown source of energy in addition to the ones I've already mentioned."

"Can the creatures created here go back to the human world?"

"Some can, if they are conscious enough."

"Such as?"

"Such as the shadows. They too are created by human mind - the difference between them and, for example, unicorns, is that they are created on purpose."

"Why...?"

"We'd better not continue this discussion, or your energies will sink and we will end up at a lower level. I would not want to put you in possible danger. If you want to stay here, you need to keep your thoughts at the level of these energies. Remember, this is not your normal world. The energies can be molded - and are molded - with your own thoughts. This is what you need to learn to be able to move here safely. You need to separate the awareness of lower energies from your emotions. The second you react to negative matters with your emotions, is the second you start descending to their level."

This was clearly something I would need to think about later.
 

I looked at the beautiful river, the fish, and the trees. I had noticed that the luminous light was everywhere, but I saw no sun.

"Where does the light come from?"

"It emanates from everything here. At lower levels it is darker. There is no physical sun here."

Beautiful bird song surrounded us.

"Are those birds also created by human mind?"

"No, they are real birds. Dead birds. They don't usually stay very long, though. Usually they are all eager to go back down again - they know they can come back up again very fast. They seem to find this to-and-fro movement rather exhilarating. It's fun for them. They aren't afraid to die in the physical - they well remember the place they will be coming back to."

I stood there, open-mouthed. Then I noticed something behind a big spruce. A little opening with a tiny building... I knew that building. It was the hut. Kitty's and mine, our secret place! It was here! Our thoughts must have created it here!

My feet began to walk before I even told them to. I was going as fast as I could. The ground was solid under my feet.

The door of the hut was open. I stopped.

Kitty came to the doorway with a broad smile on her face.

"Kitty! Oh, Kitty!"

I flew the short distance between us and hugged her with tears in my eyes. I felt her for a moment, semi-solid, and then she slipped out of my arms like a drift of smoke.

I felt Daniel's hands around me just as the forest began to melt away from around us. I had begun to cry uncontrollably. All the sadness, all the longing for my best friend burst out.

Slowly the forest, and the fields formed around us again, and I noticed a doorway at the edge of the woods. We had arrived back at the gate. We landed on the meadow in front of it, right at the edge of the forest. With Daniel's burning hot arm around my shoulders we stepped through the gate and back into the lobby. Well, stepping wasn't the right word - Daniel half carried me.

"What ha-happened?" I wiped tears.

"You felt sad, and were no longer able to stay at the higher energy levels. I brought you back. It was good your friend showed herself to you. It taught you more about the energies than my words could ever explain," Daniel said gently.

I sniffed. He created a handkerchief out of nowhere and extended it to me.

"You can meet her again, once you are ready to rise to those levels."

"You mean I can't now, not yet?"

"Probably no, but we will teach you how it is done. The work is your responsibility."

Daniel patted me on the shoulder and took a step back. I was so disappointed. I would have felt better for a hug.

"Hello there!"

Diana's cheerful voice came from behind me. I turned around.

"Oh dear. You've been to the upper levels, haven't you? And now it feels bad to be back in this heavy world again?"

"You could say that..." I concentrated on not bawling my eyes out and drew a ragged breath.
 

"She saw her dead friend for a few seconds," Daniel explained.

"Oh, I see. And started to cry and lost the friend?" Diana nodded sympathetically. "That has happened to so many of us. I collapsed when I saw my sister there for the first time and it hit me that she must have died. Well, of course I knew logically that she had died, considering the number of years that separated us, but actually seeing her there in her spirit form made it real for me."

I managed to gain my composure before I started to hiccup. I pushed the handkerchief into my jeans pocket.

"Here's another," Diana reached out her arm. It was a clean paper napkin this time, and I realized I had blown my nose quite vigorously on the cloth one Daniel had given me. I would have to wash it before returning it.
 

"And after this we'll go and have a hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream in it. There is nothing better to ease sadness than yummy calories," Diana announced.