Shadow of the Moon (10 page)

I couldn’t experience them inside me, but I was discovering that I was still aware of what they were. “Good night, then.”

I slipped into the tent but didn’t zip it all the way closed. I left a small peephole. I watched him bank the fire. When he was finished, he strode to the edge of the camp, to the shadows. I could see only his silhouette, but I knew he was removing his clothes. Then he ran into the forest.

I waited for him to return. I was still waiting when sleep overcame me.

NINE

I awoke with a start. I lay still, listening to the sounds of the forest. Because of the moonlight dancing over the top of the tent, I knew it was still night. I didn’t know what had disturbed my slumber. Then I heard a howl, a lonesome baying at the moon.

I wondered if it was Daniel.

The howl came again. For all I knew it was a real wolf. But if it was Daniel and I just happened to be out taking a stroll and our paths crossed—

Throwing back the top of the sleeping bag, I grabbed my fur-lined walking boots and pulled them on. I shoved my arms into my jacket and pulled my knitted cap low. After scooting over to the tent opening, I peered through the small hole I hadn’t zipped all the way earlier. The fire was nothing except smoldering embers. The site appeared deserted. I snatched my flashlight from my backpack, unzipped the tent opening, and crawled out.

Crouched, my arms wrapped around my knees, I remained still and listened. With my first transformation all my senses would become more acute. I’d noticed as I got closer to my full moon that some of my senses were becoming more acute, but they still fell far short of what they’d eventually be.

There was a stillness to the night that reminded me of the way Daniel sat in the chocolate shop. Awaiting something. A calm before the storm.

The air was crisp, with a biting chill. The snow was falling lightly. The wind kicked up and died and kicked up again, as though it couldn’t quite decide what it wanted to do. A little like me where Daniel was concerned. I could see his clothes still resting where he’d discarded them earlier, now dusted with snow. So he was still out on the prowl.

Maybe it
was
his howl I’d heard.

The trees awash in moonlight were gorgeous. The landscape had a romantic feel to it. The kind that demanded exploring, I thought, as I shoved myself to my feet.

And with any luck maybe I’d run into Daniel, catch a glimpse of him in wolf form. Unfortunately enough snow had fallen and wind had swirled to erase his tracks. I didn’t yet have the ability to follow by scent. But I headed off in the direction that I’d seen him take earlier.

By now he’d probably circled around, returned to camp a couple of times, and gone back out on the hunt. I had little doubt he was searching for meat. It was more difficult to locate in winter, but I knew he’d find it. Funny how after only a few days I had absolute faith in his survival skills.

The only real sound I heard was my footsteps sloshing through the snow and my breath as the force of it increased with my movements.

As I eased between two evergreens, I came up short at the sight of a big black cat several yards away. A panther. Emitting a low, deep purr, it was rubbing its shoulder against the bark of a tree. It reminded me of how I’d stretched languorously and sighed when I’d splurged and gotten a hot stone massage at the spa in Athena.

The panther was facing away from me so it hadn’t yet picked up my scent. I’d read somewhere that panthers were really leopards without their spots. But in North America leopards existed only in zoos. So where had this one come from?

It was so large and muscular that it had to be fully grown. Had it once been someone’s exotic pet that had been set free? Were there others in this area?

I knew there were mountain lions and cougars in the woods near Wolford, but I’d never heard of a black one, so I thought this was a real panther. Shifters weren’t exactly on friendly terms with cougars. I didn’t know if they were natural enemies of wolves, but I knew that our scent was slightly different from a real wolf and that cougars tended to attack Shifters.

I didn’t know how a panther would react. I was half tempted to approach it, remove my glove, and pet it, just run my fingers through the fur that reflected the moonlight dancing between the branches. But I knew they were predators and meat eaters. And I knew better than to approach a wild animal.

Suddenly it whipped its head around. It was too far away for me to see its eyes clearly, but I felt them locked on me. The panther went low to the ground, growled deep in its throat, and bared its sharp incisors.

Everything within me stilled. Crap. Where was Daniel? Would he be able to sense that I might be in danger? Strange that I didn’t doubt for one second that he could take this cat on.

Suddenly it sprinted away, its movements lithe and smooth. It was incredibly gorgeous.

Taking a deep breath, feeling weak in the knees, I pressed my back to a tree. Wow. That was close. He could have just as easily come in my direction. I considered yelling out for Daniel. I was fairly certain that he wouldn’t go too far from camp. Not if he was keeping watch over me. So where was he?

It had been stupid to try to find him when there were no tracks to go by and the weather was kicking up. I shoved myself away from the tree and began retracing the path I’d taken.

When I got back to camp, Daniel was there, crouched beside the fire that he’d obviously restarted. He snapped his head in my direction and scowled. “What are you doing out wandering around?”

I knelt beside him, enjoying the warmth generated by the flames. “I thought I heard you howling. I went looking for you.”

“Do you know how dangerous that is?”

“No kidding. I ran into a panther.”

“In these woods?”

He seemed as surprised by the revelation as I’d been. “I know. Crazy, huh? I wonder how he came to be here.”

“People sometimes buy wild animals as pets. Then when they discover they weren’t meant to be tamed, they set them free.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. It was so gorgeous.”

“Were you afraid of it?”

“Not really afraid. Wary, maybe. I mean, it was the last thing I expected to see.” I glanced around. I could see that the sky was beginning to lighten. I hadn’t realized I’d woken up so close to dawn. “When I stepped out of the tent, it was so amazing, with the snow falling and the swirling wind”—both had now died down—“that I just wanted to explore for a bit. Knowing what I’m going to face, how frightening it’s going to be…I appreciate everything else a little more.”

I didn’t mean to be macabre or to sound as though I’d given up. I hadn’t. But the thought lingered in the corner of my mind that no matter how much I wanted to survive everything that awaited me with the next full moon, the outcome might not be anything I could control.

“You’re not going through it alone, Hayden.”

I wanted to hug him, snuggle up against him, but it was best if I didn’t give him any sort of encouragement. “I’ll never accept you as my mate.”

“That won’t stop me from being there.”

“Why? Why are you so insistent—”

He touched his thumb to my lips, silencing me. Looking into his eyes, I imagined I could see into the depths of his soul.

“Because I care about you,” he said quietly. Wrapping his hand around the nape of my neck, holding me steady, he leaned in and kissed me.

I didn’t pull back. I didn’t tell him not to. I just let it happen. With his lips on mine the fears and worries were swept away. I knew they’d return, stronger and more powerful, but for this brief space of time, I relished the fact that a Shifter, a Dark Guardian, cared for me.

I had the one thing I’d always wanted. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold on to him. That in the end I’d have to betray him and everything he felt for me.

TEN

I found it strange, two days later, when we crossed over into our national forest, that I recognized it. I hadn’t expected really to notice. Forests, woods, mountains—even covered in snow—had their own personalities, their own characteristics that distinguished them from others.

I tightened my hold on Daniel. We’d been fortunate that we’d been able to travel over the snow and find the occasional gas station or small town where we could stock up on supplies. I figured he’d marked the route when he’d come after me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to put up barriers. We’d be there soon.

It was near nightfall the next day when Daniel gunned the throttle and swung the vehicle around, causing snow to erupt around us. I released a small squeal and clung to him more fiercely. He came to a stop and cut the engine.

I never knew silence could be so loud. It was a strange thing to think: how could silence be anything except quiet—but the suddenness of it was almost deafening.

“Are you sensing anyone’s emotions other than your own?” Daniel asked.

“Not yet.”

“We’ll be there later tonight. Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

It was nearing three in the morning when we finally arrived at the wrought iron gate. A fence surrounded our hidden compound. Little sparks of emotion darted in and out of me. Nothing intense, nothing overwhelming, just the vigilance of the Dark Guardians who were patrolling the area. No outsiders ever stumbled upon us here, because the Dark Guardians were vigilant about keeping them at a distance—although I sometimes suspected that a layer of magic shielded us as well.

The elders held a lot of secrets.

Daniel swiped a keycard, and the gate slowly began to open, beckoning us in. We were a strange combination of magic and technology. Then we were riding toward the monstrous manor where the elders resided year-round, where I had escaped from only a few short weeks ago.

Daniel brought the snowmobile to a halt near the building and turned it off. I was hit by the silence. I heard an owl hoot in the distance and farther off the howl of a wolf. Faint light was spilling out onto the snow through a few of the downstairs windows. It created a peaceful illusion, something an artist might capture on canvas. I wished I could believe what it was offering.

I eased off the seat. My legs were rubbery from the long journey—or at least that’s what I blamed the sensation on as they started to buckle. Daniel’s arm whipped out and wrapped around me, drawing me in, holding me up.

“Whoa,” he said. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you feeling—”

“No.” I touched his roughened cheek. I liked it when he didn’t shave. It made him look menacing, tough, and sexy. “Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.”

With his arm still around me, he led me up the steps and opened the door. As I walked through it into the foyer, I saw that a few of the Dark Guardians were waiting.

Emotions swirled into me, intense, but soft, warm, and welcoming.

“We heard you arrive,” Lucas, leader of the Dark Guardians, said. Like Daniel he was tall and broad. His hair was a mixture of black, brown, and gray, which made him easy to spot in wolf form when I saw him patrolling the grounds.

“Sorry,” Daniel said. “Guess we should have walked from the gate.”

“Probably wouldn’t have mattered,” Kayla said. She was Lucas’s mate, had joined our group last summer. Her hair was the red coloring of a fox more than a wolf, but when she shifted, she was striking. “We were sleeping light.”

She took a step toward me and tentatively wrapped her arms around me. “Welcome home.”

Her emotions burst into me, but it wasn’t a hard hit. It was like fireworks erupting in the sky. She’d been worried about me, and now those fears were fading away to be replaced with relief. Joy.

They made my throat clog with my own emotions. I’d lived on the fringe, spending most of my time at the boarding school, and it had never occurred to me that they’d miss me here, that they’d worry about me. Part of me had even thought they’d be glad that the freak—the one who stopped their emotions from being private—wasn’t around.

“My turn,” Lindsey said. Her blond hair was almost white. Last summer I’d experienced her inner turmoil as she struggled with her feelings for both Connor and Rafe. Dark, brooding Rafe stood just behind her. After she’d chosen him, they were never far apart. When she hugged me, her true gladness swept through me. I hadn’t expected it. It weakened my knees.

“I’m not a hugger,” Brittany muttered, “but Connor and I are glad you’re back.” She and Connor were a contrast: Brittany with her black hair, Connor with his blond.

“The elders will want to talk with you in the morning,” Lucas said, “but for now you should probably try to get some sleep.”

I nodded, too weary to object.

“Since my emotions don’t bother you,” Brittany said, “we thought you could share a room with me.”

“I have a room,” I reminded her. I used it whenever I was here.

“Yeah, but do you want to sleep alone?”

I didn’t. My gaze darted to Daniel. I was surprised by how much I wanted him sleeping with me, holding me. But I knew the elders would never go for that. They were very strict about who could share a room. Girls and guys were segregated.

“Okay. Yeah. Sure.” There was so much I wanted to say to Daniel. But it was personal, private. I wanted a moment alone to talk with him, but as the girls guided me toward the grand sweeping stairs, I knew I wasn’t going to get the chance. Maybe tomorrow.

I glanced over my shoulder. He was already deep in discussion with the guys, no doubt planning how best to protect me. I felt a spike of fury from the others and resolve. I was in for a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Everyone was right. I needed to sleep if I could, because I was going to be battered.

“Are our emotions bothering you now?” Lindsey asked.

“It’s not too bad. I can sense that you’re trying to keep them tamped down. I appreciate it.”

“It would probably blow you away to know how excited we really are to have you back,” Kayla said. “It would be awesome if you could block our emotions so we could hang out more.”

We were at the top of the stairs. I came to a stop. “You want to hang out with me?”

“Why do you sound so surprised? This Shifter world is new to me. I don’t have many friends. I’d love to have another, would love for it to be you.”

Before last summer she hadn’t even known we existed, certainly hadn’t known she had the amazing ability to shift.

“Maybe,” I said, not willing to commit. This was all new to me. I could talk to elderly men…I could talk with Daniel. I could befriend the girls at school. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to be friends with other Shifters. I’d enjoyed making friendships among Statics, even if they’d only been temporary.

I followed Brittany into her room. There were two beds. Some of my clothes were folded and set on one of them.

“I guess you all had faith in Daniel bringing me back,” I said as she closed the door behind us.

“Sure.”

I walked to the bed and found some flannel pants and a long-sleeved T-shirt among my things. I fingered the drawstring. “So…you spent some time with him last summer—when the elders tried to pair you up.”

She sat on the bed and pulled her legs beneath her. “Yeah. We took a group of girls into the woods for their first campout.”

“Did you ever see him shift?”

She furrowed her brow, shook her head. “No.” She grinned. “So what’s he look like? With his black hair he probably looks pretty menacing as a wolf.”

“I’ve never actually seen him in wolf form.”

Before she could comment, I slipped into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stripped out of my clothes, stepped into the shower and welcomed the hot water sluicing over my body. I began to relax from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, imagining a waterfall cascading through me, washing away all the tension, as I’d done so often at the resort—

Fury plowed into me, nearly staggered me. I braced my hand on the tiled wall, bowed my head, and fought back. It had to be the guys, discussing the dangers, plotting how to destroy the harvester.

A brisk knock sounded on the door.

“Hayden, are you okay? I heard you cry out,” shouted Brittany.

“I’m fine.” Grabbing the towel, I staggered out of the shower, my motions jerky as I dried off. I pulled on my flannel pants and top. With my hair dripping, dampening my shirt, I grabbed the edge of the counter, surprised that the marble didn’t dent from my grip.

A flurry of emotions whipped through me like a tornado. Concern. Anger. Pride. A need to control. Fear again. That awful bone-chilling terror.

The door burst open. Daniel stood there, everyone who’d greeted us in the entryway pushing against him, vying to see what was going on. So many emotions blasted me that I couldn’t separate them. They swamped me, consumed me.

The room spun around. The floor and ceiling traded places. Everything slanted. The floor was suddenly within inches of hitting my nose.

Daniel scooped me up and cradled me against his broad chest.

“Everyone out!” he yelled. “Get as far away from her as you can.”

“No,” I said, clutching his shirt, trying to regain my strength. “There’s fear, immense fear. Someone’s being attacked, is in danger.”

“Who?” Lucas asked.

“I don’t know.”

“One of the sentries,” Connor remarked.

I heard the echo of pounding footsteps as everyone else rushed out. Daniel laid me on the bed.

I pressed my hands on either side of my head. “I can’t help him. I don’t want to feel this; I don’t want to experience his death.”

I was lost in the vortex of the thrill of transformation as the others shifted, the desperation to find the one in trouble, the determination to succeed.

I was barely aware of Daniel cradling my cheek. “Hayden, I don’t know how to help you.”

“Distract me; draw me away from their emotions.”

His mouth landed on mine, tentatively at first and then with more force. I hated that his emotions couldn’t pour into me and shove out all the others. All I could do was focus on the feel of his long body half covering mine, the strength in his hands as they skimmed down my sides and pressed me closer, the pliancy of his lips as they moved over mine, the velvety touch of his tongue swirling….

Pleasure, like heated honey, poured over me, through me. I became lost in sensations so rich, so powerful that everything faded away, except my own emotions, my own desires.

When Daniel broke off the kiss, we both gasped, dragging in great gulps of air. I could see in his green gaze that powerful emotions were roiling through him. Although I couldn’t exactly feel them, I could read them.

And they scared me a hell of a lot more than anything I’d ever felt before. He’d told me that he cared for me. But it was so much more than that.

He loved me.