Shadow of Perception (24 page)

“Um,” Hudson began. “You realize Eden’s just trying to get at Celeste. I don’t want word getting back to Ian that we’re—”

John waved a hand. “What you do is your business.”

Before Hudson could thank him, Eden stormed into the room. “You know where the door is. Use it.”

Celeste trailed behind clutching her coat. “This is so typical of you,” she said to Eden. “When you don’t want to hear—”

“Obviously your psychic abilities aren’t helping you understand me,” Eden interrupted. “So let me clue you in on something. I’m a grown woman. I don’t need you to tell me how to run my life. If I choose to starve myself, that’s my business. If I choose to have hot monkey sex with Hudson, I will. So back off.”

“How eloquent and classy,” Celeste said, then she turned to Hudson. “I’m sorry. I assume you two heard our conversation.”

He nodded as John said, “Yeah, pretty much every word.”

“I see,” Celeste said. “Again, Hudson, I’m sorry. You seem like a nice guy. But, no offense, I think what you two are doing is a mistake.”

“Oh my God, Celeste,” Eden shouted. “Listen to yourself. Why can’t you let it go?”

“Come on, Eden,” Celeste countered. “Do you honestly believe you and Hudson can have a real relationship like John and I have?”

 
Eden looked at him, and Hudson sucked in his breath. He’d seen Eden dressed in her finest, her hair and make-up perfect. But now, wearing a ridiculously big sweatshirt that hid her body, no make-up, and her hair falling from a slack ponytail, she’d never looked more beautiful to him. The fire in her eyes and the color in her cheeks had nothing to do with the obvious anger she harbored for her sister. Not with the way she slowly trailed her hungry gaze from his shit kickers, up his legs, to his chest, then to his mouth. When she settled her eyes on his, she released the door knob, then with seductive grace, moved toward him.
 

She took his hand, placed his palm on her back, then reached her arms around his neck. His eyes riveted on the heat radiating from hers, everything and everyone in the room disappeared from his mind. His sole focus lay with the beautiful woman tantalizing him with her inviting lips and intoxicating scent. Before he could clear his head from the sensual fog she’d induced, and gain a moment’s worth of sense, her lips parted and he gave into temptation.

Eden kissed him hard, fast and without passion, then abruptly turned to Celeste, leaving him at a loss. Had the kiss been nothing but another way to needle her sister? He’d sworn there had been longing in her eyes. More than that, he’d sworn he’d seen pride and admiration. For that brief moment, before she’d walked across the room and kissed him, he’d honestly thought she cared about him, about them. That she believed, as he did, they already had what John and Celeste had, maybe even more.
           

“If you don’t mind,” Eden said to Celeste, and trailed a finger along his chest. “We’d like to get to that pizza and hot monkey sex.”

Celeste shook her head, and sent Eden a half-smile. “Thanks for the show. I’m sure that’s all it was,” she finished with a shrug.

Eden stiffened in his arms. With her body taut, Hudson worried she was preparing for another scathing remark that would only continue this useless argument. “John,” he said, and led her to the couch. She veered away, and headed for the kitchen instead. He watched her go, then turned to the other man again.
 

John had already moved to the front door, which stood open, letting in the cold, November air. Celeste no longer remained in the foyer, and must have decided to leave. With his hand on the door knob, John said, “I’m going to pretend the whole evening never existed.”

Hudson cracked a smile. “I doubt the girls will.”

“Right. I’m sure I’ll have to listen to Celeste rehash the entire argument for the rest of the night. For the record, whether she’s right or wrong, I’m always going to have Celeste’s back.”

Hudson nodded. “After seeing firsthand how things are between them, I think I understand why Ian didn’t ask you to handle this case.”

John pulled the coat collar around his neck. “That and he wanted us to focus on the wedding plans. You know what’s funny about tonight? Celeste had planned on asking Eden to be her maid of honor.” He released a sigh, his breath a puff of vapor against the cold. “I better go before she freezes to death.”

After Hudson closed, then locked the door, he headed for the kitchen. When he didn’t find Eden there, he moved to the bedroom. She sat on the bed stroking Fabio’s long blond mane with one hand, and Brutal’s scrawny little body with the other. When she looked up at him, the sizzle that had been in her eyes earlier had faded to shame.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that,” she said.

He folded his arms across his chest, then leaned against the door jamb. “Just tell me one thing. And please, no lies or no half-truths.”

She nodded. “Of course. What is it?”
 

“When you kissed me…was it like Celeste said? Was it just for show?”

Chapter 13

Eden stared at Hudson as anger, shock, and mortification tore through her and blended together like a potent, toxic cocktail. She could blame her sister. Celeste
had
goaded her, belittled her relationship with Hudson. Instead of simply coming to his defense and leaving it at that, she’d kissed him in order to prove to her sister that they had something passionate and good together. In doing so, she’d made a fool of herself, and a mockery of their relationship. Now Hudson stood in the doorway of her bedroom questioning the authenticity of the kiss.
 

Rubbing a shaky hand across her forehead, she held his gaze. “No. The kiss wasn’t for show.”

Still holding his arms across his chest, he shifted his stance. “I don’t believe you.”

Tears welled in her eyes. She blinked them back, shocked by the sudden wave of sadness. The last time she’d cried had been when she’d ended things with Hudson. Was this the beginning of the end already? Had she screwed up bad enough that he might have changed his mind about her, about them?
 

“No lies or half-truths,” she reminded him, and wiped a stray tear. “The kiss wasn’t great, but it was real.”

He shook his head. “Bullshit.”

“What? How could you—?”

With hurt and anger darkening his eyes, he pushed off the door jamb, and in two strides hauled her from the bed. Holding her by the upper arms, he crowded her. Then, with a touch that belied the hardness of his face, he caressed her lips with the pad of his thumb. “It’s been a while, but I know…I remember your kisses. This one, though. This one…there was no passion.” He released her, then turned away. “No nothing.”

Another tear escaped as he headed for the door. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not leaving if that’s what you’re wondering. I can’t.”

“Because I’m an assignment?”

He didn’t answer, and instead, took another step toward the door. She couldn’t let him go, not without knowing the truth. She realized it was time to pull on her big girl panties. Hudson had to understand her reasons for the kiss. He had to know how she felt about him, and for once, she had to stop looking for ways to sabotage their relationship in order to prevent the hurt she’d assumed would eventually come, and take a chance. She’d wasted two years away from him. There had been many lonely nights during those years when she’d thought about what could have been if only she’d tried. Would they have fallen madly in love? Married? Had a child? While she wasn’t sure if she was necessarily marriage or mommy material, she was sure that she’d once loved Hudson. Damn it, she never stopped. Now she had to fight for them.
 

“You’re right,” she blurted. “The kiss wasn’t real.”

He turned. The shock and anger widening his eyes made her want to take a step back. Even Brutal and Fabio jumped off the bed and fled the room. But she held her ground.
 

“When Celeste said she thought we were making a big mistake, then acted as if only she and John had something good going, I…I wanted to show her she was wrong.”

“I see,” he said then tightened his jaw.

She reached up, and placed her palm on his rough, hard jaw line. “I don’t think you do. When I had turned to you in the living room, and saw the way you looked at me…” She blew out a deep breath, then smiled. “I hope I’m not mistaken, but I swear I saw pride, respect and passion in your eyes. For
me
. No one has ever looked at me like that before.”

When he remained stoic, she held his face with both hands. “I wanted to kiss you so bad. All I could think about, even with Celeste and John in the room, was you and me. Your skin against mine, your body twined with mine. Your lips on mine. And when I finally walked across the room to kiss you, I realized it was all wrong. What I wanted to show you…I didn’t want anyone else to see. I wanted it to be for just you.”

Gently, he gripped her wrists. “What did you want to show me?” he asked, his voice raw, husky and oozing with need.
 

The sexiness in his tone grabbed her, held her enthralled, and propelled her past the edge of uncertainty. He deserved the truth. “That I’d never stopped caring. That I’ve missed you. That I wish…I wish things could have been different.”

“Me too,” he said as he released her hands, then ran his fingers through her hair. Her ponytail came loose as he gripped her head in his hand. “When you left me, it was one of the worst times in my life.”

Her eyes clouded with tears of regret, but she mustered a smile. “Worse than being tortured in a jungle basement cell?”

His gaze darkened as he drew her closer. “Those wounds healed.”

But the wound she’d created hadn’t healed. The words hung in the air unsaid. Regret washed over her, for what they could have been, for what she’d denied them. Before she could respond, make excuses or apologize, his lips were a hair’s breadth from hers.

“Now kiss me.” He nipped her bottom lip. “Kiss me like you meant to.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, threaded her fingers through his hair and then slowly, leisurely, pressed soft, reverent kisses along his jaw and the corners of his mouth. Looking into his eyes, catching the heat simmering in their depths, she let her eyes drift shut, and pressed her lips to his. Leading the way, she coaxed his lips until they opened, then slid her tongue along his.
 

Holding her head steady, he wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her impossibly closer. He ground her hips against his hard erection, and the passion brewing inside her erupted. The slide of their tongues grew more fervent and eager. She broke the kiss to catch her breath, and remove his shirt.
 

She pulled the material up his lean torso and began pressing open-mouthed kisses along his scarred, muscular chest. While she feathered her fingers along his hot skin, he finished disposing of the shirt, then reached for the hem of her sweatshirt. She froze.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and cupped her cheek.

Insecurity was something new to her. Considering she’d always been proud of her body, and had never had a problem flaunting it in the past to Hudson, she wasn’t sure how to explain her sudden lack of confidence. But after everything they’d discussed tonight, she decided honesty was the only viable route to travel. She trusted him. And without trust and honesty, there was no relationship.

She kissed his hand, and continued to caress his chest. “I…don’t look like I used to.”

He raised a dark brow. “Did you grow an extra nipple?”

Grinning, she gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Sorry to disappoint you, but no. I’m, as you know, thinner.”

“So.”

“So my body isn’t all that great.”

He cocked his head and studied her for a second, then said, “You think I care whether you’re overweight or skinny?” He touched the tip of her nose. “Or if you have a big zit on your nose?” He paused. “Okay, I might be grossed out by that.”

She lightly pinched his nipple and laughed.
 

“Seriously,” he began. “The only thing I care about is what’s in here.” He kissed her forehead. “And in here.” He touched her heart. “You’re beautiful no matter what.”

Moved by his words, she kissed him. As their tongues began to tangle and dance, he took the hem of the sweatshirt and t-shirt, and began to push them up her torso. Along the way, he unhooked her bra, then released her lips and removed the clothes. He dropped them to the floor, and gazed at her naked chest.
 

She moved to cover her breasts, but he stopped her. “Uh-uh, you’re just as pretty as I remembered.”

“Thank you,” she murmured and allowed her arms to relax. “But can we at least dim the lights?”

He edged her toward the bed. When the back of her knees hit the mattress, he pressed her back, then gripped the waist of the yoga pants. “No way. I’ve been fantasizing about making love to you for over two years,” he said, then pulled her pants and panties over her hips and down her legs.
 

Naked, she lay on the bed and looked at him. The heat and excitement sizzling in his eyes sent her earlier insecurities fleeing. Her own excitement intensified as she let her gaze roam over his strong, beard-stubbled jaw, his firm lips, then to his muscular chest and tight abs. Fingers itching to touch the soft hair along his chest, to unbuckle his belt and remove his jeans, she licked her lips and reached for him.