Shades of Honor (27 page)

“I’m glad.”

Radford smiled at Evelyn’s honesty. “So am I. Otherwise, I would have missed loving you.”

He pulled Evelyn’s hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “We’d better dress and go inside.”

They left the cot and Radford pulled on his trousers and his shirt, then stood barefoot with his shirt hanging open as he buttoned Evelyn’s gown for her. He brushed his bare foot across hers, then smiled when she curled her toes.

“Are you ticklish?” When she nodded, he laughed. “I’ll have to use that against you sometime.”

“I’ll make your life miserable if you do,” Evelyn said, then put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Radford!” Kyle’s enraged shout, and the rattle of the door handle, jolted Radford and Evelyn apart. An instant later the tack room door smashed against the wall and vibrated with aftershocks as Kyle burst into the room. He stood like a steel beam, his fists clenched at his sides, face and neck red with anger as his angry glare took in their state of undress. “I
knew
you were trying to hide something from me,” he said to Evelyn. He swung his accusing gaze back to Radford, his teeth bared as he moved forward. “You sneaking son of a bitch!”

“Evelyn, go in the house,” Radford said, his voice deadly serious.

Kyle glared at Evelyn as if daring her to move.

“There’s more involved here than you think, Kyle.”

“You can’t know what I think,” Kyle said, crossing the floor and jerking Radford away from Evelyn by his shirt.

“Don’t, Kyle. We’ll both regret it.” Radford tried to dislodge Kyle's hands, but they were locked on his shirt like a vise.

Before Radford saw it coming, Kyle’s fist blasted into his jaw, followed by a hard punch to the stomach that slammed him into the wall. Radford curled forward from the loss of breath, trying to reason with Kyle as darkness hummed around his head.

“Don't you dare pass out, you bastard,” Kyle said from the distance. “I'm nowhere near finished.”

Evelyn's voice sounded a mile away, but as Radford’s head cleared he could see her standing in the doorway with her hand over her mouth, her eyes filled with horror. “Kyle, stop this!”

“Get out, Evelyn,” both men said in unison.

“Not until you two regain your sanity!”

Kyle gave a derisive bark of laughter. “That's right. I am crazy. I must have been to ever trust you, or this lying bastard.” He swung his fist, but Radford deflected the blow.

“Kyle!” Evelyn shrieked. She ran to him, pulling hard on his bulging arm. “Stop!”

He yanked his arm free. The loss of support propelled her backward and sent her careening into the wall. Harnesses tangled in her flailing arms and a saddle spun sideways, falling to the floor and taking her with it.

“Stay the hell away from me!” Kyle yelled. “Don't you dare beg for him. You are as much to blame as this bastard.”

Radford hadn't seen Kyle this out of control in all the years he'd known him. Not even during their fights as kids. But he'd heard and seen enough. He shoved past him and helped Evelyn to stand. “Get out of here,” he said gently.

Kyle grabbed Radford’s arm and spun him around. “Keep your filthy hands off her!” he warned. Then he threw another punch that caught Radford below the eye.

Kyle had a right to be angry and hurt, but he was going to pound Radford into fragments if he didn’t stop. Still, Radford couldn’t raise his fist to Kyle. Not now. Not after what he’d done.

“You're hurting him!” Evelyn cried.

“Are you afraid I'll mess up his pretty face?” Kyle asked. “Did he speak of dreams and faraway places? Did he promise you picnics and tea parties?”

“Kyle, I'm sorry. You don't understand.”

“You're damn right I don't!” he said, taking a shot at Radford's exposed jaw.

Evelyn screamed and raced from the tack room.

Radford gripped Kyle's shirtfront and hauled him toward the wall. If he could just keep him pinned he could avoid Kyle's fist and not have to hit him back. But holding a man Kyle’s size stationary was like trying to stop Niagara Falls from flowing. It could not be done.

Kyle shoved hard and sent Radford stepping backward frantically as he tried to keep his feet beneath him. And he would have if not for Kyle's fist. Radford felt the sting on his cheek then the door frame smash into his ribs as he slid to the floor. Pain ripped through his side and sparked the old angry fire that had once raged within him.

Radford would have stayed on the floor to catch his breath and rein in his growing anger, but Kyle hauled him to his feet. It had been so much easier when they were younger and Radford was bigger than Kyle. Usually a thump on the head settled any problems. Radford fervently hoped it would work now. He ducked Kyle’s flying fist, then swung hard, feeling great regret even before he connected with Kyle's jaw.

Kyle’s head jerked and he grinned as blood seeped from his split lip. “At least you'll act like a man and fight. I was afraid you had grown completely worthless.”

Radford answered the insult with his fists and Kyle greedily took them, appearing to savor the pain as he returned a hard shot for every one received.

The black rage was growing within Radford and he pushed it back, fighting it fiercely, trying to bat away Kyle’s fists, unwilling to do any more damage to his brother’s flesh. But the blows from Kyle’s fists burst upon Radford’s body in explosions of pain that felt like flying shrapnel.

The monster within Radford crawled to its knees. Panic engulfed him. He was losing control. “Kyle, stop! You have to stop now!”

Laughter filled the room and an explosion burst in Radford's head, filling the blackness with angry red sparks...

Atlanta was burning! Its blaze roared like a red monster in the night sky. Muskets cracked in the thickets and battered Radford’s shirtfront with piercing shards of metal. Shells whistled past his ears and ripped the flesh from his face.

The sinister being within him rose to its feet.

That uncontrollable, animalistic urge to kill burned deep in Radford's gut. His fists curled into weapons of death. With every fiber of his being he swung, throwing his fists out like hammers, taking great satisfaction in each dull thud that met his enemy’s flesh. He would not watch another one of his friends slaughtered by this war to be left in mutilated heaps of bloodied flesh! His torn knuckles punctuated each burden this war had forced upon his conscience. He struck out at the senseless waste of lives and the animal it was forcing him to become.

Finally, he sank to his knees in triumph and wrapped his long fingers around the enemy’s neck. Fingers pried at his hands, but Radford’s grip was solid. Hate-filled eyes glared up at him, then shifted and became Kyle's red-faced visage.

Suddenly the screams of battle became Evelyn’s scream. William and Doc Kendall yanked at his arms. Radford glanced back at the enemy beneath him, and the choking, murderous Confederate became his own brother!

Radford gasped and recoiled in horror.

He scrambled away and gaped at his shaking hands as though they belonged to a stranger. That they had choked his own brother was an offense not to be borne.

Wildly he glanced around him for signs of his bed, that this was a nightmare and he wasn't yet fully awake. Sickened, he looked to William and the doctor, but the truth was in their accusing eyes. Evelyn stood in the doorway, frozen with fear.

A gasp of denial wrenched from Radford's throat and he buried his face in his palms. “No! Oh, God.
Nooooo
...” He rocked upon the floor, balancing on the edge of sanity. He didn’t do this. He didn’t. Oh, God. Oh no.

Furious, he sprang from the floor and slammed his fist against the wall. “
Dammit
!” The violent crack sent everyone back a step. “
Dammit
!” he bellowed again with all the frustration that boiled within him. He spun on Kyle and tried to point his finger, but his hand was shaking so badly he let it fall to his side. “I warned you to stop. I warned you!” he shouted.

Kyle met his rage with a cold glare. “I was past the point of heeding
your
damned warning.” He got to his feet then braced his hands on his knees and hung his head. “Why, Radford?” he asked, breathing raggedly as blood dripped from his nose. “You're my goddamned brother.”

Seeing him like that, bleeding, hurting, so justified in his anger, was a pain more crippling than any of Kyle's vicious blows. It sapped every ounce of Radford's remaining strength. His teeth chattered and he sagged against the wall. He turned to William and the doctor. “Would you leave us alone? Please.”

They exchanged a glance then backed from the room. Evelyn lowered her hands, tears making tracks down her face as she looked at Radford. The horrified wonder in her expression cut to his bones and he felt his own throat ache with unbearable anguish.

“You have to get help.” She caught her cry behind her hand and raced from the livery.

Even after his worst battle, Radford hadn't felt this defeated. He turned to Kyle. “Do you love her?”

Kyle flashed a look of contempt. “That's none of your damn business!”

“I need to know,” Radford said, sliding down the wall until he sat with bent knees.

“I asked her to marry me, didn't I? There's your bloody answer!”

“Then why...” Radford wanted to ask Kyle why he didn't show her or tell her that. Why did he put the mill first? Why didn't he tell Evelyn she was beautiful when it was so obvious she needed to hear that? He wanted to ask, but he couldn't.

Kyle arched a split eyebrow emphasizing the growing goose egg. “Why what?”

“Forget it.”

“Spit it out,
dammit
! If you've got balls enough to sneak around behind my back then be man enough to speak your mind.”

“All right!” Radford barked. “Why the hell did you let Evelyn and me think you didn't love her?”

Kyle groaned and sat wearily on the floor. “I was busy and distracted.” He leaned back against the heavy oak desk. His shirtfront was covered with blood. His nose had stopped bleeding, but there was a red smudge across his cheek where he'd wiped it with his sleeve. “Evelyn should know how I feel about her. We've been friends since the day I cut her pigtail off with my new jackknife. And I was building her a house.” Silence filled the air for a long moment. “She knew how I felt,” Kyle said forlornly. He rolled his head toward Radford, his eyes damp and accusing. “I trusted you.”

“We tried to stop it.”

“Shut up! I don't want to hear your pitiful excuses.” He pointed a shaking finger at Radford. “Just stay the hell away from her!”

“I can’t do that.” Radford eyed his brother and realized there was more to Kyle’s anger. “This isn’t just about Evelyn, is it?” he asked.

Kyle didn’t answer.

“You’ve never forgiven me for leaving.”

“Bullshit.”

Radford shook his head. “It all makes sense now. You felt I owed it to you to fill Dad’s shoes when he died. You felt I deserted you.”

Kyle snorted.

“I couldn’t stay here.”

Kyle pierced him with a cold stare. “You were a goddamned hero, Radford. This town worshiped you. That alone would have kept our mill running without any sweat.”

“It would have been a lie.”

They eyed each other for an intense moment before Kyle nodded. “I’m beginning to believe that. All I’ve ever seen in you is a coward and a cheat.” He staggered to his feet. “Is that why you’ve never shown us that medal of bravery you received? Because you couldn’t stand to look at it and know the truth?”

Heat surged through Radford’s body and made his fists shake. He raised his eyes to Kyle who stood hunched and bleeding above him. “Get out.”

Kyle looked down at Radford, his scathing gaze raking him with unconcealed disdain. “I thought so,” he said, then turned and limped out the door, leaving Radford broken and bleeding on the livery floor.

 
 
o0o

Evelyn crouched beside the barn doors and hugged her trembling knees. Never had she expected to witness something so appalling—so heartbreakingly pathetic.

She could hear the mumble of deep voices from within the livery, but the absence of thrashing bodies and crashing furniture gave her hope. She raised her gaze to her father and was consumed by shame.

His expression was drawn and he leaned heavily on his cane as he stared down at her. “I can guess what happened out here tonight and I’m not overly proud of you at the moment.”

“You shouldn’t be,” she said, her voice quiet and hoarse from tears.

“Damn right, I shouldn’t!” he said, his voice raised for the first time in over twenty years. “
Dammit
, Evelyn, there’s two fine young men in there who have just beaten the hell out of each other because of you.”

“I broke my engagement with Kyle tonight,” she said weakly, as if it would make her wanton behavior more acceptable.

“You think that makes any difference to him?” he asked. “That boy has considered you his since he was old enough to reach out and grab hold of you. It’ll take more than five minutes for him to come to terms with that.” He shook his head and looked away. “Those boys had a bad enough situation to handle without this trouble
comin
’ between them.”