Read Sexy and Funny, Hilarious Erotic Romance Bundle Online

Authors: Mimi Strong

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Collections & Anthologies, #General, #Contemporary, #Erotica

Sexy and Funny, Hilarious Erotic Romance Bundle (16 page)

“No. I like that we're honest with each other. You heard all my dirty laundry.” He shook his head. “Sharise.”

“Oh, her,” I said, waving my hand. “What goes around comes around.”

He lunged for me and pulled me in tight, hugging me and lifting me off my feet. “Then what did I do to deserve meeting you?”

I kissed him. “I feel the same way.”

He slowly set me down. “This is how things should be,” he said. “I know relationships can be work and everything, but you make me believe they don't have to be a nightmare.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

He scooped up my hand again and we swung our arms like kids as we walked down the boardwalk together.

As we talked and got to know each other better, at times I felt the six-year age gap between us, like when we talked about favorite music. He liked a lot of bands I'd never heard of, and when I mentioned the “generation gap” he laughed at me and assured me six years was
nothing
.

“Maybe in your thirties,” I said. “But it's a big deal now. I mean, I have bills to pay. Lars moved out, so I have to cover the rent on my own. You probably still live with your parents.”

He didn't deny it, but changed the topic instead to movies, and then to food.

Talk of food made me hungry, and him too, because he said, “Who knew sex on the beach makes you so hungry?”

As he said the words, I was struck by the phrase. To me, “sex on the beach” was the hilarious name of a drink, not something I thought I'd ever actually do.

We were standing in front of the main pub in town, the one with a sandwich board out front proclaiming tonight to be
Karaoke for Lovers Night
.

“They have good burgers,” Shawn said, nodding towards the door. “And karaoke.”

“I'm game if you are.”

“Oh, Laura, you know I'll do anything you ask. I'll even serenade you, if you want. Though I would like to kiss you again some time, and I don't know if you'll want to after you hear me sing.”

“I'll be the judge of that,” I said, and I led him into the pub.

Inside the pub, we took a seat in a quiet corner and perused the menus.

I said, “How do you know the burgers are good here if you only just turned twenty-one?”

He grinned and said, “Let's just say my older brother's ID disappears from his wallet from time to time.”

“You are bad.”

“Not as bad as you.”

When the waitress came to take our order, Shawn didn't take his eyes off me, even though the young woman was quite attractive, and her breasts were popping out of her gingham top. She made big eyes at me, and I wondered if she knew Sharise, and if reports were going to be text-messaged out that I was there with Shawn.

Fuck Sharise
, I thought, and I ordered some chicken strips and a beer.

Before and during our food, Shawn and I talked some more. He told me about playing baseball in high school, and how a fall off his dirt bike had broken his arm, knocking him out for a season and hurting his chances at a pro career.

“If not baseball, then what are you going to do?” I asked.

He winked at me. “You mean when I grow up?”

I laughed into my glass of beer. “Sorry. I forget. You're so young, you have plenty of time to figure it out. I'm sure you won't be working at an ice cream shop forever.”

“I could hire staff to work there full-time now, but I enjoy the interaction with the customers, especially in the summer.”

“So… you own that place?”

“Yeah,” he said, giving me a sly grin, as though he had secrets of his own. “I've got a few investments around town. Rental properties, commercial and residential, and a couple of businesses. I also own the automotive repair shop, along with my brother, who manages it.”

“I had no idea.”

He shrugged. “We're not billionaires or anything, but the cost of living here in town is low, and I want to enjoy life. Not that there's anything wrong in working hard, but I like to
play
hard too, you know?”

My mind replayed the memory of us making love on the log, on the beach, and I felt myself flush red in the cheeks, and a sensation in my panties as well.

Some people were on stage, singing (badly) to some karaoke song. I'd learned that
Karaoke for Lovers Night
meant all the songs were duets, and you had to have a partner. A few young guys got up and jokingly sang a corny duet together, and a couple of girls as well.

The waitress came by to clear our plates and said we'd be singing next.

“No, no.” I waved my hands emphatically. “I didn't sign up for a song.”

The waitress pointed to another table, where the owners of the B&B, Al and Bryan, were sitting. They both waved.

She said, “The boys picked out a song for you two. They said they'll be heartbroken if you don't sing it for them. It's one of their favorites.”

Shawn said, “Of course we'll sing,” and he jumped up, grabbing my hand.

I reminded myself that I only knew about three people in the whole town, and it was just one song, and what could possibly go wrong?

The two girls singing a Heart song finished to a smattering of applause, and then, we were up next.

Al and Bryan whistled and cheered for us.

The song came on:
Islands in the Stream
, as made popular in the 80s by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.

Shawn said, “Do you know this one?”

I pretended to slap him and said, “I'm not that old!”

“But you know it, right?”

I winked at him. Of course I did. My mother loved the song, and she still played it regularly.

The lights shone in our faces, so I was unable to see the audience very well. I just focused on the words on the screen in front of us, and on Shawn, who looked confident and relaxed.

My voice shook, but within a few lines, the goddess power of Dolly returned and wrapped around me, like a mystical spell, and my singing improved, along with my confidence.

I knew the words by heart, as did Shawn, so by the end of the song, we were both gazing into each other's eyes—really hamming it up, much to the delight of the audience.

When we finished, we kissed, and I heard Al and Bryan hooting and hollering “Encore!” from the audience.

I was having one of the most electrifying, exciting moments of my life.

And then someone threw a chair at the stage.

People were yelling, and someone was screaming.

Shawn pulled me back to safety, and we moved to the edge of the stage just as the technician killed the spotlights.

There she was.

Sharise.

She looked like a demon, like the scariest person I'd ever seen outside of a horror movie.

Those chairs had to be heavy, and she was picking up another one.

A bouncer grabbed her by the arm, but he wasn't that big of a guy, and with one well-placed punch in the face from Sharise, he was down on the ground, clutching his bleeding nose.

Shawn was yelling at her, trying to tell her to calm down, saying he would never hit a woman, but if he came at me, he'd have to put her down.

She had the dog, Princess, with her, and the poor thing was cowering in her purse.

Seeing that sweet pooch so afraid must have turned on something primal in me, because what I did next, I didn't even think about.

I picked up a pitcher of beer from a nearby table, and threw it on Sharise's face—the beer, and the plastic pitcher.

Covered in beer and stunned by the pitcher hitting her on the face, Sharise looked around, confused.

I lunged forward, scooped up Princess in my arms, then grabbed Shawn by the hand and dragged him off the stage, behind the bar, and through the brightly-lit kitchen.

The cook and dish washer looked up in stunned surprise as we ran through, me with Princess in my arms.

We pushed our way out the back door, into the alley, and we didn't stop running until we were three blocks away.

Sharise didn't seem to be coming after us, so we stopped to catch our breath, and Princess sniffed around at a patch of grass in the alley. I was definitely not in the big city, as even the alleys here were green and country-like.

Shawn grabbed me from behind and pressed his body into me. His cock was hard, inside his jeans, and he ground it into my butt and my lower back.

My heart was still pounding from the running and the fight.

He turned me around and kissed me hungrily, pushing me back, into a fence. I lowered my hand to his crotch and felt his big cock in there, so stiff. As we kept kissing, not speaking, I opened the front of his jeans and grasped it in my hands.

He lunged into my hand, thrusting his hips urgently. The slick moisture was coming out of the head, lubricating my hands, making everything slip together.

I ducked out from between him and the tall fence, then guided him to put his back against the wall.

Then, without speaking, I crouched down and took him in my mouth.

He moaned and pulsed his cock in and out of my mouth, timidly at first, and then with more power, driving himself deeper and deeper, until I had to use both hands to hold him back so I didn't choke.

A car was approaching, driving slowly through the alley toward us. I turned and watched out of the corner of my eye as I continued to suck while tugging at his shaft with one hand, slick from my saliva and his pre-come. We didn't have much time before the car would drive past us.

The dog was safely off at the side of the alley, near me, so I didn't have to worry about her.

Shawn didn't seem to be aware of the car, as his eyes were shut. I didn't care that much either. So what if someone saw? Maybe it would give them a boner and then they'd go home and give their wife the fucking of her life.

I wanted to satisfy Shawn, to feel the rush of his juices flooding my mouth, so I increased the suction and moved my hand quicker, as though I was trying to suck the whole cock down my throat. It was so big, the skin so tasty, and it pulsed with power.

That cock, that gorgeous cock. I could have it every day. In my mouth, in my pussy, anywhere. I licked the ridge around the head, licked the lovely helmet like ice cream, then took it all in again.

His breathing stopped, and I felt everything pulse and bulge in my hand, in my mouth. With a gasp, he let go.

His hot seed spurted into my mouth as he thrust his hips. I normally wouldn't have swallowed, but I was caught up in the moment, and I eagerly drank him, sucking and swallowing every last drop.

When he was finished, and no more was coming out, I pulled it from my mouth, licked once around the head for good measure, and then tucked him in. He was completely stunned, so I had to do up his jeans for him, and then, when the car drove by, I was kneeling down patting the dog on the head and Shawn was standing against the fence with a dopey smile on his face. The guy driving the car looked our way, as though he knew, but he kept driving.

Shawn bent down and rubbed my back. “That was incredible,” he said.

I smiled up at him. “Anywhere, any time, anything.”

He shook his legs out, stretched, and then relaxed against the fence, his hands tucked casually into his pockets. “I am so sorry about what happened at the pub,” Shawn said.

My hands and legs were shaking, but I didn't know if it was from the fight, the running, or the excitement of being with Shawn, sucking him off in an alley. In an alley!

I said, “I feel sorry too. But wait, neither of us should be sorry. We didn't do anything wrong.”

He reached down to hold my shaking hands, then raised them to his lips as I stood. He kissed my mouth, and my fingers.

He said, “I think it's safe to say I'm completely over Sharise.”

I glanced down at Princess, still sniffing at grass. “You'll have to return her dog.”

“She's actually my dog,” he said. “I got her from a rescue pet place, and a few months ago, Sharise decided Princess was a great fashion accessory. She treats her well enough, but… Princess is staying with me now.”

I kissed Shawn on the lips, the cheeks, the chin. “You'll keep her safe,” I said.

He looked around, seeming nervous, which was only logical.

“Come back to my room at the B&B,” I said.

“Twist my arm,” he said.

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