Sex & Mayhem 04 No Matter What (11 page)

“What else do
you have under control? Told you that you can’t marry someone you
never met!” Her gaze settled on Luca, who hunched his shoulders in
shame, trying to hide behind the dog as much as he could. He
noticed a big roll of paper towels on the floor and ripped some
off, desperate for a distraction. He started rubbing them over the
rain-smelling fur, and Nomad looked back at Luca with a smile that
had his long tongue sticking out.

Ghost stepped
back with a sigh. “Okay, so you were right. Happy?”

“No. What is he
doing here?” she asked before stepping closer to Luca, who
desperately tried to stay invisible. “What the fuck are you doing
here? My son’s not gay!”

Ghost stepped
between them, like a brick wall that could protect Luca even from a
bullet. “I’m helping him out. He’s still my friend.”

“Isn’t he
Italian? Or was that a lie as well? You’ll be helping him stay in
the US illegally?”

“I’m a
tourist,” muttered Luca, slowly getting up now that he knew it
would be inevitable. “Nice to meet you.”

Ghost’s mother
frowned, and the deep laugh lines around her lips became more
pronounced. “I’ll prepare the guest room.”

“Don’t bother,
Mom. We have a lot to talk about. He can stay with me. I’ve got a
king-size bed anyway. All I need is an extra comforter,” Ghost
said, but then turned to Luca. “Unless that would make you
uncomfortable?”

Luca opened his
mouth, staring at Ghost’s pink lips, and then at the intensely blue
eyes. The memory of Ghost’s erection pressing against his hip two
nights before returned with a vengeance. He’d been ready to suck
Ghost off then and there, but it was Ghost who’d gotten
uncomfortable
and fled the room. It had been one of the most
embarrassing moments of Lucas’s life.

“I’d rather
stay with you, if that’s okay.” He couldn’t think of a safer place
than at Ghost’s side.

Ghost’s mom
rubbed her eyes and walked off. “There’s some fresh food in the
kitchen,” she muttered.

Ghost turned to
Luca with a pale smile. “You must be starving.”

Actually, Luca
really wasn’t ready to eat much, or at least anything solid, after
yesterday, but he nodded not to worry Ghost. “A yogurt, or
something like that, maybe?”

“Sure. Nomad!
Feeding time,” Ghost said to the dog and led Luca to a cluttered
but homely-looking kitchen. Luca tossed the wet towels into the
trash can.

“He’s so
adorable. I was really sad when I saw him on those videos you
posted after you found him,” said Luca, looking at a copy of
Leonardo da Vinci’s
Last Supper
on the wall. It was an odd
choice for the kitchen.

Ghost got a
yogurt out of the fridge and gave it to Luca, along with a spoon.
“I know. He was so off balance when he was still trying to use that
damaged leg. It was a hard time, and he was there for me. I taught
him tricks from the hospital bed. I couldn’t just leave him there.”
Ghost smiled at the dog with so much tenderness, Luca once again
wished to be Nomad.

He remembered
the night when he got a good-bye video from Ghost all too well.
They lost touch for two days, which had Luca biting his nails in
fear for Ghost’s safety. He hated the fact that the most important
person in his life willingly went off to a war zone and risked his
life every single day. Ghost had ended up taken as a hostage and
was then shot during a successful attempt to set him free. The
video he sent showed him bloodied and bruised, in a hospital bed,
before surgery. Even then, he cared about Luca’s feelings first and
sent the video, in case something went wrong later.

It was the
night of Frederico’s wife leaving for another of her never-ending
exotic trips, and the man of the house was understandably feeling
amorous after enduring her presence for two weeks. All Luca wanted
was to cry himself to sleep over Ghost being in danger, and they’d
had the worst argument yet, which resulted in Luca losing his index
finger.

He swallowed,
holding back the wetness that tickled his eyes when he thought
about all the agonizing uncertainty he’d endured before learning
that Ghost had survived the surgery. The fear Luca had felt back
then was worse than the pain of losing a finger. At least Nomad was
happy. He got to his hind legs and made a pirouette, staring at the
bowl in Ghost’s hand.

“Here you go.”
Ghost put the bowl down in front of the dog, but Nomad didn’t just
dig in. He looked up, pleading, but kept his body inches away from
the food. Ghost crouched, and smiled at Luca. “Look at this,” he
said and turned back to the dog. “Nomad! Nom, nom, nom.” At those
words, the dog lunged at the food, munching fast and wagging his
tail happily.

Luca laughed
out loud, leaning back against the counter, but his hip brushed
against Ghost’s shoulder, and he quickly straightened, holding on
to the yogurt cup. The last thing he needed was to embarrass Ghost.
Talking about Nomad was much safer.

“He’s well
trained.”

“He likes to
eat a lot, so I make sure he gets lots of exercise.” Ghost got up
and grabbed a muffin from a tray on the table. “You said you’ve
always wanted pets, so I hope you can live vicariously through
mine.”

Luca nodded,
eating his yogurt. After years of being apart, it felt as if Ghost
was so close now Luca could sense the heat of his body. It warmed
him up like the summer sun, but the flirting and romantic gestures
were now over. As was the sexting and seeing Ghost masturbate on
webcam. Ghost hadn’t really brought it up, he was probably too
embarrassed. And so was Luca, even if the memory was all too
vivid.

Ghost patted
Luca’s arm. “Let’s go. I’m soaked, and you need rest. We can go
through my closet, and see what fits you. We’re,” Ghost looked him
up and down, “a similar size,” he mumbled and quickly turned
around, leading Luca out of the kitchen.

Luca looked
back at Nomad, who completely ignored them, too taken by his bowl
to care about silly humans leaving. Ghost’s shoulders were so wide
Luca just wanted to lean against that back and bury his face
between Ghost’s shoulder blades.

“Yeah, I guess
we are,” muttered Luca.

Ghost led Luca
up the stairs, along a wall of family photos. Baby Ghost on a big
black Harley in front of his dad. Ghost smiling widely next to his
parents on the day of his high school graduation. Ghost’s father
and mother at some biker party, with more leather-clad men.

“Small, but
cozy,” Ghost said as he invited Luca into his room with a gesture.
It was as clean as a hotel room, and Luca found that slightly
disappointing. He expected more disarray, but it made sense. Ghost
was an organized guy, who had hoped to invite over the girl of his
dreams.

The room was
decorated in gray and dark blue, and smelled of washing powder.
Luca couldn’t wait to drown in the safety of the fresh, blue
comforter. There was a desk to the side, with books neatly stacked
in a large case next to it.

Luca closed the
door behind him and leaned back against it. It felt nice to know
Ghost was trying so hard to make Zara feel welcome. Of course, he
wasn’t the Zara Ghost expected, but Luca wouldn’t let that depress
him. He was free of Frederico, and Ghost still wanted him in his
life. That was all that mattered.

“It’s very
you,” he said with a small smile and wiggled his eyebrows. “Clean
and proper.”

Ghost snorted
and took off his soaked shirt, rendering Luca speechless. He’d
watched Ghost naked on webcam, but seeing his strong chest in real
life was something completely different. There was a layer of white
hair between his pink nipples, and Luca found it hard to look
away.

“I don’t know
if that’s an insult or a compliment,” said Ghost.

Luca rubbed his
lips, finally glancing into Ghost’s eyes. “I think that’s a good
thing. You take care of people. Makes sense for you to be so
organized and... careful,” Luca uttered, but his heart was already
beating faster. They were in Ghost’s room. Not a hotel, not a guest
space in a clubhouse, but somewhere Ghost slept and kept his
belongings. Luca was warming up to the clean but homely room
already.

“I don’t do
that much anymore.” Ghost shrugged and unbuttoned his jeans. “I was
thinking about going into veterinary care or something along those
lines, but I don’t want a student loan. Anyway, it doesn’t matter
anymore.”

“Why?” Luca
pressed back against the door, his eyes drawn to the zipper. Its
sound sent a shiver all the way down Luca’s spine, as if it were
parting the clothes on his own back.

Instead of
answering, Ghost looked up at him, with his hand at the zipper.
“Sorry, is this awkward?”

“Do you want me
to look away?” asked Luca.

“I… don’t know.
I don’t know how to do
this
.” Ghost sighed and ran his
fingers through his wet hair.

Luca turned on
his heel and pressed his burning forehead to the cool surface of
the door. There wasn’t anything even remotely threatening about
Ghost, even when he was undressing so close to Luca. There was such
gentleness to his blue eyes and the way he acted around Luca,
always trying to make him comfortable, made Luca think of all the
moments in his life when his well-being was the last thing on the
agenda. It hurt to even remember.

“Sorry.”

“I’d like to
say ‘it’s fine’, but it’s messed up what you did.” There was
rustling behind Luca’s back. “Did you talk to other guys like you
did to me?”

Luca swallowed
hard. Guilt was hitting him in the chest over and over again. “When
I was younger... before my parents died. I figured it was a safe
way to flirt with people who also liked to play
The Age of
Endless
. But I never... you know, got close to any of
them.”

“You can turn
around. Come, let’s get you some clothes,” Ghost said, and when
Luca faced the room again, he saw Ghost kneeling next to an open
wardrobe. He was wearing simple gray jogging bottoms and a blue
T-shirt. “I kinda get what you’re saying. I should have been
smarter about this, not throw myself at you like that when we
hadn’t even met once.”

Luca dragged
his hands down his face. “It wasn’t like that with you. Flirting
was the last thing on my mind when we met. I never wanted for you
to feel cheated.”

“I remember.
You had lots of problems back then.” Ghost gestured for Luca to
kneel next to him and some boxes. In this case, ‘problems’ was a
euphemism for ‘wanting to die’, something neither of them wanted to
mention. Frederico raped Luca the day before he and Ghost met, and
he did that while holding a loaded gun to Luca’s head, leaving him
almost catatonic. He then locked Luca in his room so he ‘had time
to think about his ungrateful behavior’.

It had been a
shock after only getting to know the good side of Frederico, and
all it took to unlock the monster was Luca saying ‘no’ to something
Frederico wanted in bed. It was then that Luca realized Frederico
wasn’t a handsome older guy, who fell head over heels for a
teenager. Luca was a prisoner in Frederico’s home, a living sex
toy, and if he didn’t like it there, Frederico would surely get a
good price for him elsewhere. And the possibilities Frederico had
hinted at were what made Luca stay, scared out of his mind.

Hopeless, he
did the one thing that always helped him escape. He logged into his
favorite game, but there was no energy in him to proceed like he
always did, and so he started walking around the world, confronting
all kinds of monsters only to have them kill him violently. The
gory animations gave him pleasure. He’d been disemboweled, impaled
on sharp spikes, had his head pulled off and his stomach eaten out,
but in real life he wanted a quiet, painless death. He thought of
slitting his wrists but found himself unable to cut deep enough
into his flesh, he had no poisonous substances in his room, and
with thick bars in the window, he couldn’t jump. He was out of
options when he met Ghost.

On another
attempt to be crushed under the wheels of a MI-99 Planet Explorer,
Ghost’s character pushed him away. At first they had an argument
over the principles of gaming, and how interfering with another
person’s vehicle was trolling, and unethical, but Ghost’s
persistence and relentless questions led to Luca bursting out about
the emotions that pushed him to do so. What followed was a
conversation of over ten hours that helped Luca through the night,
and changed his life forever. Having Ghost to talk to, knowing that
there was a stranger out there who cared, gave Luca enough drive to
live through the next day, and then another. Ghost didn’t even turn
out to be a creep trying to get into the pants of Luca’s female
character. He was just there for him. A real, caring person, far
removed from the reality Luca had to live in. How could he not have
fallen in love?

Luca slowly
kneeled down next to Ghost and looked at the clothes in the plastic
box he was browsing through. “Did you wear that in college?” he
asked, reaching for a hoodie with the logo of Michigan State
University.

Ghost smiled.
“Yeah. You can take it. I’m a bit bigger now. It’s ridiculously
soft inside.”

“Yeah, you do
seem bigger than on the screen,” said Luca without thinking.

Ghost watched
him with a blank expression before bursting out with laughter. He
nudged Luca’s shoulder. “Do you mean my arms or my dick?”

Luca chewed on
his lip, feeling a flush creep up his face. “You only showed me
your arms,” he muttered, pulling the hoodie to his face.

“I know, I just
wanted to push the elephant out of the room. I don’t want to forget
stuff ever happened.” Ghost’s voice came closer, and Luca could
swear the warmth of Ghost’s body tickled the side of his leg.

Luca exhaled,
looking at their thighs so close. Blood pulsed rapidly through his
whole body, spreading heat all over. “No?”