Settling Ashes: A New Adult/College Romance (The Ashes Series Book 2) (3 page)

I would do everything I could to keep them from dragging the girl I loved into this mess. I was going to have to figure out who killed Hannah myself.

Three

Paige

I gazed up at the movie posters, wondering whether I’d skipped out on a month of my life or a year of it. It seemed like the latter. I didn’t recognize any of these movie titles.

“Um, what’s ‘The Catacomb King’ about?” I asked Beau tentatively.

The large, glossy poster depicting the image from the movie was extremely intimidating; all fiery explosions and large hulking action heroes.

“You haven’t seen the million commercials advertising it on TV?” Beau asked incredulously.

“No.”

I let my eyes wander, realizing I hadn’t noticed commercials for any of the displayed movies on TV. I was too embarrassed to say as much to Beau.

He read it on my face. “Shit, Paige. I should have forced you to leave the apartment before now. We’re going to see the new Ben Affleck. His flicks are always good.”

I nodded, partly because I was confident in his choice, and partly because I didn’t want to admit I couldn’t care less what we watched. “Sounds good to me.”

Beau purchased our tickets. When I protested that I should pay for my own, he gave me a long, stern look. I relented and let him pay for my ticket.

“Popcorn, extra butter, and two large cherry Cokes,” he told the bored-looking girl behind the snack counter.

“You remember what I like at the movies,” I said, nudging him in the arm.

“I always hoped I’d be able to take you again one day. There isn’t much about you I forgot, Paige.”

I smiled at him. “That’s…sweet and intimidating. I doubt the new me lives up to the old one, Beau.”

He kissed my cheek. “That’s impossible. Any you is out-of-this-world irresistible.”

I had stopped listening about ten seconds before he finished his sentence, staring disbelievingly at the thin, blonde, impeccably dressed girl in the next line.

“Oh, no,” I whispered. “Please,
God
, tell me this isn’t happening.”

Beau was immediately on alert, his eyes darting around as he tried to follow my gaze. “Paige? What’s wrong?”

The blond was staring right back at me, and it was too late to bolt, or hide, or do any of the other things flashing through my mind.

“Paige?” she asked. Her eyes had widened when she noticed me, and she quickly handed the popcorn in her hands to the girl standing beside her.

“Paige,” she said louder. “Everyone’s been worried sick about you! Where the hell have you been?”

“I, uh—“ I stuttered.

“Does Gillian know you’re here?” she said shrilly. “Does
Clay?
”

Beau stepped up beside me.

“Hello,” he said, extending a hand. “I’m Paige’s friend, Beau. You are?”

She stared at Beau’s hand. “I’m Kelly. A friend of Gillian and Paige’s from U of R.”

Kelly turned back to me with narrowed eyes. “So what’s the deal, Paige?”

“Listen, Kelly,” I began, biting my lip. I grabbed her hands and squeezed. “I know this looks…weird. But I need you to do me a favor. You can’t tell anyone you saw me here. I’m going back to Rutherford soon, I just…I needed a break from it all for a while. You know?”

She nodded slowly, looking between Beau and me. “You needed a break. From Clay? Because of everything that’s going on with him?”

“Sure,” I answered, nodding vigorously. “Because of everything.”

“Isn’t Gillian your best friend, though? Why not at least let her know that you’re okay?”

“I did,” I answered firmly. “Gillian knows me. She knows I’m okay.”

This time, Kelly shook her head. “I don’t think so, Paige. She’s a wreck. And so is Clay. They’ve been doing everything they can to find you. They’ve even gone to the campus offices to find out if you dropped your classes.”

I sighed, bringing a hand up to my head to rub my temple. “I just needed a break,” I whispered.

“Look, Kelly,” Beau said. “She’s having a tough time, okay? She doesn’t owe anybody any explanations. Especially not the asshole that hurt her.”

Kelly’s eyes widened. We weren’t that close. I’m sure she didn’t know anything about what happened between Clay and I other than what had circulated through the rumor mill in Rutherford.

“Please, Kelly?” I pleaded softly. “Give me a couple more weeks of privacy. Then I’ll come back home. I promise. Okay?”

The anxiety ate a hole through my clenched stomach as she contemplated. She was weighting her loyalty to Gillian with the sadness and desperation she read on my face.

“Alright,” she said, finally. “I don’t like it though, Paige. You need to come home. If they find out I was keeping this from them…”

She trailed off, and I knew perfectly well what Gillian would do if she found out such a thing.

Beau tensed beside me, and I placed a hand on his arm to calm him.

“I will come home,” I promised Kelly. “Very soon.”

“Okay,” she said reluctantly. “Then I won’t say anything. For now.”

“Thank you,” I rushed forward to hug her. “Thank you so much. Just forget you ever saw me, okay? I owe you.”

“No, you don’t,” she said stiffly, placing her hands on my shoulders to push me back to arm’s length. “You’re going to owe Gillian when you get back.”

A pang of guilt pricked my conscience as she turned away and headed into the theater with her friend.

“She’s right,” I wailed, turning to Beau. “I have to go back. This has got to be killing Gillian. And Clay.”

He thumped the popcorn down on the end of the counter and turned to me, pressing both hands to my cheeks.  Then he smoothed my hair back and tucked both sides behind my ears.

“Paige,” he said firmly. “I don’t give two shits about what Clay Forbes is feeling right now. And Gillian is a great friend, yes, but sometimes you have to put yourself first, Paige. You needed to get away and that’s what you did. You can’t start feeling guilty about needing time for yourself and taking it. You can’t live for everyone else all the time.”

His intense stare burned into my eyes, and I allowed his gaze to lock with mine. I took deep, heaving breaths to steady myself, grabbing both of his wrists with my hands.

“Okay,” I sighed finally. “Let’s go watch this movie. I’ll decide what to do about Rutherford tomorrow.”

Clay

I shuffled through campus with my hands shoved deep in my pockets and my hoodie pulled over my head. I may as well have been walking on a dead campus, because no one would share the walkway with me. They all veered off onto the grass when they saw who was coming toward them on the brick sidewalk.

I thought, while I walked, about how I used to stroll this campus hand-in-hand with Paige. I walked her to class, ate lunch with her at the food court, sat with her on the lawn. I went to school here for three full years before I even met Paige, but now that I’d had her…nothing was the same. The buildings were drabber, the air more cloying. I didn’t want to do any of this without her.

“Murderer,” a hiss came from behind me. I ignored it. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it, but it was the first time someone had said it basically to my face.

“How do you get to walk around out here while our best friend is…oh, that’s right, she’s dead?”

This time, I turned to see two senior girls standing on the sidewalk behind me. They weren’t afraid to share the space. They were pissed about the loss of their best friend. And like everyone else, they blamed me.

“I didn’t kill her,” I said dully.

“Sure you didn’t,” Bryn said nastily, her lip curling back over her teeth. Her platinum blond hair was piled high in curls on top of her head, and they shook as her body trembled. “None of us are stupid, Clay. You’re the only one who would have killed her.”

“Yeah,” Madison chimed in. She wasn’t as strong as Brynn, and she didn’t have the power to back up her words. She was blond, too, but her locks were straight and long, and the color was closer to honey than silver.

Her voice trembled as she spoke. “We know Paige didn’t have the balls to do it.”

My head snapped toward her, and she took an involuntary step backward.

“Don’t talk about Paige,” I said, my voice low and cold.

“Why?” Brynn spat. “If it weren’t for that little freshman
bitch
, Hannah would still be alive, wouldn’t she?”

I stepped toward her, just as a hand on the back of my hood jerked me back.

“Not worth it,” Rob whispered into my ear.

He turned me around and steered me in the opposite direction as Brynn and Madison.

“Did you hear what she said?” I asked Rob heatedly.

My voice was higher than it should have been. I didn’t want Paige’s name coming out of either of those girls’ mouths.

“Yeah,” Rob said grimly. He dropped his hand from my neck, walking beside me as we crossed the campus. “But everyone knows something went down between you, Paige, and Hannah, man. You can’t control what people say. And with the situation you’re in, you can’t go around terrifying innocent co-eds, either.”

“Brynn and Madison are not innocent!”

“I know,” Rob said. “But the police don’t.”

I glanced at him while we walked. He was right. He always was. I’d known Rob most of my childhood. We went to school together, we played soccer together. And he was always quiet, always reserved. He just understood the big picture more clearly than other guys did. He had a more mature grasp of how this life worked, while the rest of us blundered around trying to figure it all out. Me especially.

Another group of girls caught my attention as we neared the steps of the Student Center.

“Gillian!” I called.

She turned, and rolled her eyes when she saw that I was the one calling her. She walked over, along with Tima and her friend. Kelly.

“Have you heard anything?” I asked her.

“We just talked two days ago. And no, I haven’t. I would probably call you if I had.”

“Probably?”

Tima stepped up before Gillian could flare up. “You look rough, Clay. Have you been sleeping?”

I glared at her. “If you knew the person you loved most in the world was out there alone, thinking you’d done something to hurt them, would you be sleeping well, Tima?”

She frowned, and Rob slapped the back of my head.

“What the hell was that for?” I yelled.

“Don’t be rude,” he said, glancing at Tima and then glaring back at me. “She’s worried about your dumb ass. We all are.”

“
I’m
not,” Gillian snapped.

Kelly was silent up to this point, but she suddenly chimed in.

“I’m sure Paige is fine, you guys,” she said softly.

“She can’t be,” said Gillian, her voice just as quiet and tinged with heartache. “She’s hurt, and confused, and probably feeling pretty alone. She thinks Clay slept with another girl. I wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to open her heart again fully after the fire, but she did. For
him.
”

She glared at me again, her jade-green eyes accusing.

“Gill,” Tima said sharply. “He didn’t sleep with Hannah. You know that.”

“Yeah, but he got himself into that situation!”

She turned to me, her voice traveling up an octave. “You never should have gone over there that night, Clay!”

I stared at the pavement. “I know. I know it’s my fault Gill. I know I’m dirt under Paige’s feet. I just need to
see
her, so I can explain everything and start trying to make it up to her. She can’t have stopped loving me. She’s just in a dark place, and all alone.”

Kelly opened her mouth, but Rob spoke before she could. “You don’t know that she’s alone. I’m sure she’s with a friend or something. Someone helped her get out of here, remember?”

“Yeah,” I said thoughtfully. “Who could that be, though? I mean, we’re all still here, right?”

I suddenly glanced at Gill.

“Who does she still talk to from back home in Simpsonville?” I asked sharply.

She shrugged. “No one that I know of. She doesn’t have any family there. And she definitely doesn’t talk to anyone from high school.”

Students were walking by us, irritated as they had to press closer to our group than they wanted to in order to make it up or down the brick steps. We were standing directly in the middle of pedestrian traffic at the bottom.

I eyeballed some guys from the baseball team as they inched past, avoiding my gaze. Even the athletes were scared of me.

“No one?” Kelly asked insistently. “Not like an old boyfriend or anything?”

My eyes cut to Kelly’s face, seeing her for the first time. She didn’t know Paige as well as the rest of us, so I had naturally excluded her from our conversation. But now she made a valid point. Would Paige have been pissed enough at me to call an old flame? Did she even have one? I realized with guilt that I had no clue whether she did or not. I thought she might have mentioned a guy, one time, who she’d dated in high school before the fire happened. They’d broken up shortly after that, I thought. She hadn’t said they were still in touch, though.