Semper Fidelis (27 page)

“And if the cops and paramedics had shown up, it would have fucked up your career,” Tucker elaborated. “If the idea of me getting hurt doesn’t shake you up, think about how your precious Corps would react to the news.”

Jamie’s head snapped up and he glared at Tucker. “The thought of hurting you tears me apart,” he said, voice ragged. Jamie uncrossed his arms and stepped into Tucker’s space. He reached for Tucker, gripping his arms tight. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t know it was you, you have to believe me.”

“That scares me as much as the alternative,” Tucker replied. In an instant, he went from angry to imploring. “
Why
didn’t you know it was me coming home?” he asked, plaintively. “How could
you
, a captain in the Marine Corps, a combat veteran, not accurately identify your target?”

Jamie swallowed past the lump in his throat. He had no words.

“I tell the kids at work, this is just a symptom. You need to figure out what caused it,” Tucker said with finality.

Jamie pushed Tucker’s tousled hair away from his face. “Do you believe that I’m sorry? That I would never want to hurt you?”

Tucker sighed, tossing the bag of ice into the sink. “Yeah. I do. But you kicked in the bathroom door this afternoon, then you punched me tonight. Something is wrong and you need to fix it. Soon.”

Jamie stayed silent. Now wasn’t the time to confess to his latest speeding ticket. Instead, he tried to draw Tucker into his arms. Panic flared when he met initial resistance. Jamie sighed when Tucker finally melted against him.

He vowed silently that once the beer in the fridge was gone, he wouldn’t buy any more.

Chapter Four

Jamie removed his suit jacket and draped it over the back of a kitchen chair. He scrubbed both hands over his face, sighing heavily. Before he knew what he was doing, Jamie stood in front of the fridge, gripping the handle. Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead against the cool metal.

There was no longer any beer in the fridge. Jamie knew there might never be any again, depending on how things went.

He wanted a drink—badly—and not because he particularly enjoyed beer. It was just really good at helping Jamie forget the things he didn’t want to think about.

“Want me to make something for dinner?”

Jamie jumped guiltily at Tucker’s softly spoken question. He pulled back from the fridge as if it had scalded him. “No. I should do that. You’ve already gone above and beyond today.” Jamie made himself turn to face Tucker and saw he had already changed into his comfortable jeans and T-shirt.

“Now you’re just being dramatic.” Tucker’s voice held no censure. He gave Jamie’s shoulder a brief squeeze.

“You’re the only reason I still have my license,” Jamie replied. “You’re probably the only reason I won’t see the inside of a jail cell, which means I get to keep my career.”

“Now, you really are being dramatic.” Tucker pressed a quick kiss to Jamie’s cheek. He opened the fridge and started pulling things out.

“No, I’m really not.” Jamie stepped back out of the way. He supposed he should go hang up his suit, put on some jeans, and help Tucker with dinner.

“The judge was going to take your license, that’s for sure, but he wasn’t going to make you serve any time. Pick up trash on the side of the road, maybe, but he wasn’t going to destroy your career.” Tucker laid out peppers and onions, along with a pack of lean ground beef. “Would you have even told me about this ticket if you could have paid the fine without me noticing?”

Jamie started chopping the peppers for Tucker’s chili casserole. “Probably not.” He paused in his chopping to roll his sleeves over his elbows. He really should change his clothes, but Tucker might think he was avoiding things.

“Well, then it was worth dipping into our savings for,” Tucker replied conversationally.

“All of my re-enlistment bonus will go to replace it, I promise.” Jamie handed over the cutting board filled with chopped vegetables. “But I can’t replace the time you had to take off work for all of my court dates. I don’t think I can ever tell you how much I appreciate you vouching for me with the judge. He gave your statements a lot of weight.”

Tucker added the ground beef to the browned veggies. “There’s very little I wouldn’t do for you, Jamie. You know that.”

Jamie nodded his agreement. He did now, at least.

He changed his clothes while the casserole was in the oven, hanging his suit in the back of the closet, behind his dress blues. Thanks to Tucker, Jamie would get to continue wearing his uniforms. He supposed that was worth the massive blow his ego had taken.

Dinner was companionable, just like it had been before his deployment. Jamie kept having the urge to get a beer. He was thankful there was none in the house, but if this craving didn’t go away, he was afraid he was going to cave in.

Jamie looked across the table at Tucker and realized he had to keep fighting.

“When’s your next counseling appointment?” Tucker asked gently.

His first inclination was to evade. If he didn’t commit to an actual appointment, Tucker wouldn’t know if he skipped it. “Tuesday afternoon,” he replied. Jamie had learned early on in this fiasco that he couldn’t put anything over on a supervising drug counselor sporting a master’s degree.

“Did I tell you the new bathroom door looks fantastic?” Tucker asked with a wide grin. They were cleaning up together, after dinner.

“No,” Jamie answered. “You thanked me for replacing it, though.” It was more than Jamie deserved. He was the reason the door needed replacing in the first place.

“The doorframe is perfect,” Tucker said with enthusiasm. “The damn thing closes all the way again. It opens when you turn the handle and you don’t have to yank on it.”

“I should have fixed it the right way the first time,” Jamie said. “Instead of half-assing it, trying to punish you.” He was clear-headed enough now to admit Tucker hadn’t done anything deserving punishment. Busting the bathroom door had been all about Jamie’s anger at himself.

When Tucker remained silent, Jamie guessed it was because he agreed.

It was still early when Jamie couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. It had been a long, stressful day, and he had to be up for work in the morning. Tucker shut off the television, announcing he was turning in as well. Jamie gave him a quick goodnight kiss when they reached the hallway—like he did every night—before going to his own room. Whatever became of their fractured relationship, he needed Tucker to know Jamie cared about him.

Reaching the guest room door, Jamie grabbed the handle. His hand was covered by Tucker’s warm one.

“Hey,” Tucker said against the back of Jamie’s neck. Warmth seeped into Jamie from Tucker’s hand as he rubbed his back. “I think it’s time we get things between us back on track.”

Jamie’s heart leaped in his chest and he nearly sobbed in relief. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve always been sure.” Tucker kissed the back of his neck and Jamie shivered. “I just didn’t feel very safe for a while.”

“God, I’m sorry, Tucker,” Jamie whispered, pain twisting in his chest. “I’m so sorry I was the reason you felt that way.”

“I know you are.” Tucker stepped around Jamie, took his hand, and led him toward the master bedroom.
Their
bedroom.

“Why now?” Jamie asked, glued to his spot in the hallway.

“Because you didn’t flinch once when we were on the freeway today,” Tucker replied. He placed his other hand on Jamie’s hip and drew him, more insistently, toward their bedroom. “When that kid mouthed off at you today, you didn’t react like you were in a war zone.”

Jamie hesitated again. “I still felt the urge, though.”

“I’m sure you did.” Tucker leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Jamie’s mouth, his soft hair tickling Jamie’s cheek. “But you recognized what was happening,” Tucker whispered against his lips.

Jamie could taste redemption on his tongue, the sweet flavor exploding through his system, easing the ever-present ache in his heart. He gave in, following Tucker into their room, as if he was on the path to salvation. Maybe he was. Maybe he already had been.

Tucker’s kiss was firm and flavorful. His arms wound around Jamie’s back. Jamie opened to him, welcoming Tucker’s tongue into his mouth. Tucker’s hands were restless on his back, tugging the hem of his T-shirt upward. Jamie buried his fingers in Tucker’s long, thick hair, inhaling the fresh scents of citrus and musky cologne.

He refused to release Tucker, even long enough to remove the clothes separating them. It had been too fucking long. Jamie rubbed his tongue against Tucker’s, reacquainting himself with the taste. Tucker’s hair was warm and silky between his fingers. Jamie had missed touching it as much as he’d missed kissing.

Tentatively, Jamie rolled his hips against Tucker’s, gratified when Tucker pushed back against him. Tucker’s hands on his shirt grew more insistent, trying to pull the hem up over Jamie’s head and shoulders.

“Come on, let’s get rid of our clothes,” Tucker murmured against the skin of Jamie’s jaw. “I wanna feel you against me again.”

Jamie liked that idea. He lifted his arms so Tucker could strip him of the fabric. Tucker got tangled in his own shirt when they both tried to pull it off. The laughter felt good. Tucker’s mouth was back on Jamie’s. Jamie’s cock swelled and hardened. Tucker pressed against the length of his body and found Jamie was equally hard.

He ran his palms over the spray of freckles on Tucker’s shoulders. Jamie jolted slightly when Tucker’s fingers brushed against his lower belly. He moaned eagerly when Tucker opened the fly of his jeans. Jamie skimmed both of his palms down Tucker’s stomach as the muscles clenched and rolled beneath warm, smooth skin. He made quick work of Tucker’s fly, sliding the fingers of one hand inside denim and cotton.

Careful of the coarse hair, Jamie found Tucker’s cock and gripped it firmly. He swallowed Tucker’s debauched moan. Gently, Jamie freed Tucker’s erection from confinement. It twitched in his palm, giving several robust pulses. Jamie stroked him slowly from base to head and back again.

“I’ve missed this,” Tucker whispered breathlessly, almost inaudibly, against Jamie’s throat. “I’ve missed you.”

Jamie’s throat tightened. He was just going to have to show Tucker it was the same for him. Gripping the waist of Tucker’s jeans, Jamie worked them over his hips. Tucker worked just as frantically at Jamie’s, their hands bumping and getting in each other’s ways.

When Tucker pushed the cotton of Jamie’s briefs down over his ass, Jamie’s cock sprang free. It bounced a few times, the cooler air tightening Jamie’s ball sac. The brief brush of Tucker’s skin against the head of Jamie’s cock forced a surge of blood into it. Jamie moaned, pushing his hard-on against Tucker’s hip and rocking.

Tucker pulled back slightly. He looked down between their sweat-dampened bodies, sliding their hardened dicks against each other. Jamie looked down as well, eager to watch Tucker’s hand on them both.

The pressure was nice. The glide of Tucker’s satiny erection against his own was so arousing, Jamie panted heavily through parted lips. With one hand, he gripped the hair at the base of Tucker’s skull. With the other, he held tight to Tucker’s shoulder.

“Fuck, that feels good,” Jamie whispered. He flexed his hips in a quick rhythm. The feel of Tucker against him after so long was almost all he needed. Jamie’s balls were already tightening. His reddened, sensitive cock slid against Tucker’s purpled one, gliding in and out of Tucker’s fist.

Jamie’s rhythm slowed when Tucker gripped his ass. “Easy, easy, easy,” he said with a quiet laugh, nipping at Jamie’s chin. “If you blow too fast, I won’t get my ride.”

Tucker’s words and the brush of his tongue on Jamie’s mouth nearly made him blow right then. “Whatever you want,” he said with a rough voice. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

When Tucker stepped back, the loss of his heat sent a chill through Jamie. He followed, needing Tucker against him again. Jamie wrapped himself around Tucker’s back, pressing his cock to the cleft of Tucker’s ass while he pulled down the bedclothes.

Jamie toppled them both onto the bed when Tucker tried to turn back to him. The feel of Tucker squirming against him, the sound of his husky laughter went to Jamie’s head like a shot of straight tequila. Tucker’s body was warm against him—he tried to press as much of their skin together as he could. Jamie buried his face in the side of Tucker’s neck and inhaled. Warm skin, cologne, and the faint musk of Tucker’s sweat sent a fresh wave of blood flowing into his cock.

He tried to push Tucker onto his back so Jamie could start to love him. He wanted to do all the things Tucker enjoyed, drive him out of his mind with pleasure. Tucker resisted. They tussled playfully on the bed, their nakedness sliding against each other. Their skin grew slicker with their sweat and Jamie lost his grip several times, not at all disappointed.

Jamie finally surrendered. He let Tucker roll him to his back against the cool cotton sheets. He couldn’t hide his smile as Tucker slid over his body, straddling his hips. Jamie ran his hands up Tucker’s sides. He watched Tucker watching him with a heated gaze. Jamie slid his palms down to Tucker’s hips and held on, grounding himself to Tucker’s solidity.

When Tucker leaned over him to take a kiss, Jamie threaded his fingers through the long hair he loved so much. The strands that escaped his grasp fell down to shroud them, tickling Jamie’s cheeks and throat. Their lips slid wetly, their tongues rubbing aggressively against each other. Tucker’s breath was hot against Jamie’s cheek. His own chest heaved as he panted with desire.

Tucker surprised Jamie, grabbing pillows and stacking them behind his head. Even the pretty ones they were teased for having. Jamie obediently shifted toward the headboard until he was nearly sitting. It was comfortable, surrounded by softness, with Tucker’s large, firm body over him.

His grip on Tucker’s ass was hard and Jamie used it to spread him roughly. Tucker groaned as Jamie stretched him open. Their bodies rocked together as Tucker flexed his hips. The wet smears on Jamie’s stomach, pre-cum left by Tucker’s cock, cooled rapidly in the ambient air. Tucker’s hard-on slid decadently against Jamie’s, making him shiver again.