Semper Fidelis (21 page)

“I like the way your lips curve up when you smile.”

Kelley smiled and shuffled a step, closing the distance between them. He liked how Jordan’s eyes lit up. His lips ached to kiss the man again. He wanted to be close, wanted to be in his arms, making love to him. All the doubts were fading away as he gazed into Jordan’s eyes.

“I like the way you held me when we were together…making love. It was unexpected, I never intended to sleep with you and disappear like a casual fuck. I’m sorry if it seemed like I did, but the mission was too important to fail. I was sent out almost immediately after I returned to my room and I’ve been regretting that necessity every single day.” Jordan leaned in, sliding a hand over Kelley’s cheek before capturing his lips with a kiss. The contact rocked Kelley back emotionally. It wasn’t hot and desperate. Instead, it was the deep, claiming kiss of a promise. The moment broke as Jordan pulled back away when Kelley hadn’t returned the kiss, still caught up in the sensations. Fear of rejection was plain to see on Jordan’s face.

“I do understand,” Kelley reassured him, tugging him back in for a kiss of his own. He cupped Jordan’s face, planting small kisses at each corner of his mouth and on the tip of his nose before leaning far enough away to look him in the eyes.

Jordan cocked his head to the side, a gesture so familiar in the man Kelley knew as Akim, yet so odd to see repeated in the American standing before him. “Do you? Really?” Jordan seemed uncertain.

“Yes, I’m glad we had the time together that we did. I wish we had more of it, but really, I’m just glad you’re here—and a US citizen. I had no idea how I was going to get you out of Afghanistan but I was going to try.”

“Really?” The smile stretched across Jordan’s face, happiness plain for Kelley to see.

“Yep, I had plans to go back and find you and bring you home.”

Jordan reached out, taking Kelley’s hand in his. “I had my doubts, Sean. Coming out to San Diego, I was hoping to see you, but after getting nothing but dead air from you, after all the emails and messages I left went unanswered… Well, I wasn’t hopeful.”

Kelley squeezed his hand before replying, “It took me a while to get over these feelings. I hated the idea that I’d let you under my defenses so quickly, only to find out I’d been lied to. Between the pain and the drugs, it took me a while before my head was clear enough to examine things logically…” Kelley trailed off and Jordan started pacing back and forth in front of him, running his fingers through his hair, turning back to Sean as he continued.

“A large part of my anger was directed at myself. I still can’t believe you tricked me. I’m trained to spot deception, and it kills me that I never saw through your cover. Not once.”

That halted Jordan in his tracks.

“You know, the same people trained me. But I had one advantage… It wasn’t a cover, just another part of who I am, how I grew up.”

“Well, I learned a few things about myself that’ll make me better at my job. I suppose I have you to thank, after all… So maybe this thing between us isn’t such a bad thing, either.”

“Not a bad thing?” he repeated, shaking his head. “God, I love you, Sean— Oh shit, did I say that out loud?”

Kelley smirked at Jordan, enjoying his dismayed expression. Reaching out and pulling Jordan close once more, he reassured the other man. “Yes, you did, and I bet you’re going to say you didn’t mean to say it yet.”

“I didn’t.”

“I’ll give you a pass.” Kelley nodded. “For now.”

“A pass—you’ll give me a pass for
now
?”

Kelley wrapped his arm around Jordan and grabbed the back of his head, tilting his face up. “Uh huh, so kiss me or I’ll change my mind.”

Breaking the kiss almost as soon as it began, Jordan pushed away from him and Kelley almost sunk to the ground. Losing contact with Jordan hurt. He was about to open his mouth and complain when Jordan held up his hand.

“Tomorrow. I want to take you on a real date tomorrow night. Can we do that?”

Kelley nodded, “I’d like that.”

“We can’t start from the beginning, but I want to date you before we move on to the next step.”

“The next step?”

“You know what I’m talking about and don’t pretend you don’t.”

“Okay.” Kelley smiled, tapping his cane twice on the ground. “Want to walk with me for a bit?”

“Sure.”

They strolled slowly through the park, Kelley fighting the pain for as long as possible so he and Jordan could have more time alone. They were heading back to the hospital when Jordan stopped walking.

“I liked spending time with you today. You know so much about flowers, more than I ever knew. I like how you pointed out the different species.”

Kelley laughed. “I’m glad I wasn’t boring you, but honestly, you’re making me second-guess this entire arrangement if you didn’t notice the little silver signs left by the gardeners.”

“No, I guess I was a little distracted.” Jordan lifted up on his toes and kissed Kelley’s cheek. “It’s pure pleasure spending time with you. I’ll be around tomorrow at five to pick you up. Dinner and bring your—” Jordan’s cheeks darkened and turned a little pink.

“What?”

Jordan bit his lips before looking up at Kelley with hooded eyes. “Sean, would you consider packing an overnight bag for the date—you know, bring your toothbrush?”

Kelley’s chest tightened and the world around them faded away. “Sure, I’d like that.” His voice was ragged and he didn’t trust himself to say more. Tomorrow night couldn’t come soon enough.

* * * *

Jordan needed to see Sean. Sleep eluded him and everything had been off, from spilling his coffee first thing to running into the glass panel instead of walking through the door in the hotel lobby. Sean distracted him.

He pulled up at the hospital close to four-fifty and hopped out of his truck. The door opened before he was halfway up the walkway and Sean came out, cane tucked under one arm. Jordan stopped, watching his man walk. Sean was moving slowly, but with an easy gait, belying the pain he must be feeling. Jordan had memorized so many things about the man, replaying them time after time in his head all those weeks apart. He could see the minute twitches and hesitations pointing to the effort he was making to mask the effects of the explosion. It was enough to propel him forward to gently embrace Kelley, slinging a friendly arm around his waist and taking some of the strain off the injured leg.

“You’re looking good, Sean.” Jordan nuzzled his ear in greeting. To anyone else they were just another couple enjoying the fragrant San Diego evening, and Jordan could feel Kelley relax into his arm.

“You too, Jordan.” They’d both made an effort for their date. Sean was dressed in new khakis—if the sharp creases were anything to go by—a black silky knit polo emphasized the man’s broad shoulders and strong arms. Jordan had made a point of stopping at a high-end department store when he first reached stateside for his own combination of navy sport coat and tailored slacks, emphasizing a trim waist and lean muscles. Jordan enjoyed the admiring glances Sean was giving him as they walked back to his truck and couldn’t resist running his fingers up and down Sean’s side.

“Where exactly are you taking me?” Sean asked as he clicked the seat belt into place.

“Just a little Italian place around the corner.”

Jordan drove to Laurel Street and parked next to The Cucian, glad that Sean wouldn’t have to walk far. They were seated at a table toward the back of the restaurant behind a tall potted plant and wooden screen, giving them a little privacy. The waiter brought out focaccia bread and oil with herbs. Jordan ripped off a piece of the steaming bread and dipped it in the oil. He held it up for Sean, “Go ahead. Take a bite.”

Sean smiled and opened his mouth, taking a bite of the bread. He moaned, sending pleasure straight to Jordan’s cock. He dipped the piece of bread again and held it up to Sean. The intimacy of the table where they were sitting was perfect for them to reconnect. Sean seemed to think he could get past the deception, but Jordan wasn’t going to leave anything to chance.

“So are you going to feed me my meal?”

Jordan felt a surge of power race through him. “Maybe. What would you do if I tied your hands behind your back—you know, made you helpless—and I’d have to feed you the meal?”

Sean dipped his head and stared at the table for a long moment, leaving Jordan wondering if he’d pushed the man too far. When Sean lifted his head, his eyes were half closed, his cheeks pink.

“Just thinking about you tying me up, having to take care of me, makes me hard as a rock.”

The smile that formed on Jordan’s face almost hurt. Sean’s admission made him feel like they could work something out. He took a bite of the bread then Sean took the bread from Jordan’s hand and dipped it into the oil before holding it up to Jordan’s mouth. He took the bread from Sean’s fingers, making sure to lick at Sean’s thumb before pulling away.

“We’re not going to make it through this dinner if we keep this up,” Sean said.

Jordan sat back and laughed. “You’re right.”

“I talked to General Davis today.”

The news sobered Jordan quickly. “Really?”

“There was no way you could have said anything to me. I’ve let that go. I’m just glad that you took a chance and kissed me though. What we shared—hell, you’re the star of all of my dreams.”

“Only the good ones, I hope,” Jordan said.

“Yes, the good ones.”

The waiter came over and took their order. Sean picked the Marsala and Jordan quickly scanned the menu before settling on the spaghetti Alfredo. They waved off the wine menu, settling for large bottles of mineral water instead—more compatible with the pain meds that Jordan noticed tucked into Sean’s breast pocket. Once they were alone again, Jordan took Sean’s hand, holding it with both of his. “I’ve never met anyone like you.” He trailed one thumb across Sean’s wrist, feeling the steady pulse beneath his smooth skin.

“I feel the same.”

Neither of them said anything for a long time as they stared into each other’s eyes. A polite cough jerked their attention to the waiter standing next to their table, tray balanced on one slim shoulder, a wide grin stretching across the young man’s face. Jordan figured eighteen at most, given the faux hawk and copy of
The Catcher in the Rye
shoved apparently forgotten in the pocket of the teen’s pants. Probably a family run restaurant, Jordan mused. He glanced up at Sean, noting the amusement in his eyes. He’d probably reached the same conclusions—an occupational hazard that they were never fully able to relax their guard or disengage their analysis, even this far outside of the field of operations, but Jordan did try. The food was delicious and they chatted about the area and the hospital, Sean’s physical therapy, and his prognosis. When they were done, Jordan paid the bill and they left the restaurant.

“The sun is still up, would you like to take a short walk?”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

Kelley took his cane with him when they parked just west of the San Diego Zoo. The lawns were well maintained and other couples were hanging out on blankets or strolling arm in arm.

“I like this.”

“What?” Kelley asked.

“Spending time with you. In Afghanistan it was difficult. We weren’t supposed to be together. When I came up on you smacking the baseballs around I had to help. Pitching and shagging flies was the most fun I’d had during my stay there. Then when I walked in on you in only your boxers—hell, I almost passed out. I couldn’t stop myself. I should have and I knew I was putting the mission at risk, but you were so beautiful and tempting.”

“That first kiss knocked me on my ass.”

Jordan laughed. “I thought you fell on your own.”

Kelley chuckled and reached for Jordan’s hand. “You threw me off balance every time I saw you. You are so beautiful and wonderful and amazing.”

“I feel the same way about you.”

Kelley stopped walking and turned to face Jordan. He checked to make sure they weren’t being watched before cupping Jordan’s jaw and grazing his lips with a sweet kiss. “I needed that kiss,” Kelley growled when they separated.

“I need more than just a kiss right now. Let’s head back to my room.”

“Damn, you are forward.” Kelley reached out and drew Jordan off balance, pulling him into a rough hug and dropping a kiss on his mouth, forcing his tongue between Jordan’s sweet lips. The kiss ended before Kelley was ready but Jordan held up his hotel key card.

“My room. I have condoms and lube.”

Sean smiled. “My only issue is my leg. I’m not sure how it’ll hold up. I haven’t had sex since we were together, so we’ll have to take it slow.”

Jordan brushed his lips over Sean’s cheek. “I’m good with slow. You kind of ruined me for other men.”

“Hell, that’s good,” Sean said.

Jordan winked and adjusted his pants before leading him to his truck and helping him in. They held hands on the drive over, Jordan squeezing every few minutes. He began to get nervous, knowing that this was real. He’d never been able to successfully have a relationship while a Marine, and he didn’t want this one ruined by their ridiculous schedules and crazy deployments. He liked Jordan too much for this to end because of something stupid like miscommunication or no communication because of where they were stationed.

“Hey, before we go into your room, we need to talk,” Kelley said.

“Sounds important.” Jordan pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, parked, and cut the engine.

“It is.” Sean turned to face him, placing his hand on Jordan’s arm.

“What’s up?” Jordan asked, covering Sean’s hand with one of his own, giving him a squeeze of encouragement.

“I don’t want us to be over quickly. This isn’t some random fucking around. I like you. A lot. You said you loved me yesterday in the park and I think I’m falling for you too—shit, that’s a lie, I know I’m falling for you, but I don’t want us rushing things.”

Jordan turned to face him completely and took his hand. “Kelley, I agree. It slipped out before I really wanted to say it, but the feelings are there.”

“We both have tough jobs. We’re both captains—”