Authors: Rosanna Leo
“I doubt Calan and Angus would say they’ve sacrificed anything. They’re bloody well delirious with their mates.”
Leda took a moment, choosing her words. “Fine, I’ll allow you that. Some selkies do mate. Happily, I might add. But in all our time together, you’ve not once mentioned this great desire of yours.”
“It doesn’t mean I haven’t felt it.” Mack retreated a few inches from her on the bed, a wee bit peeved. He would have hoped for a more enthusiastic reaction from the woman who’d shared his bed for centuries, on and off. Still, he was catching her rather off guard. She was right. He’d never breathed a word of his insane inclination, had barely acknowledged it to himself, despite its insistent intrusion into his consciousness.
However, when he’d glimpsed the happiness his brothers shared with their mates, something had changed inside Machar Kirk. He felt as if something were missing in his life, that an important cog was absent in the machinery inside him and his wheels weren’t quite turning as they should. His two brothers had soul mates. He wanted one of his own. Was it so wrong? And was it a crime to want a babe with his soul mate? To want a family?
It had been so long since he’d felt anything resembling love.
He was starting to understand what human women meant when they complained about clocks ticking. The thundering toll inside him gave him such pains. Damn, these days he’d pretty much accepted he had the Westminster Chimes clanging in his gut. He’d even christened the uproar “Big Ben.”
He just knew Big Ben was demanding he mate. And it was terrifying as hell.
He threw the sheets off and stood up. Not stopping to put on any clothes, Mack strode over to the window and stared into the dark night outside. Leda followed. She hugged him from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist. He should have felt some comfort, some zing of stimulation, with the soft crush of her breasts against his back.
Nothing.
Still, he turned around to face her and cupped her cheek. He searched her eyes, aching for a sign of comprehension there, some indication she wanted the same things. “I want something more, Leda.”
She offered him a sad grin that did nothing to raise his spirits. “Look, love. I have no doubt that one day you will find your mate. And when you do, you will make her insane with happiness. And I’m certain she will love nothing more than to have you fill her belly with your babies.” She paused. “But, Mack, I’m not that woman. And I’m too much of a friend to lie to you or to pretend this can be something it’s not. I have fun with you. Our bodies do wonderful things together, and I’d be sad to see it end. But I am not your mate.”
Mack clenched his jaw, but knew he was more disappointed at the thought of starting over than at losing what he had with Leda. Even still, because of their history, he felt he had to try. “Perhaps I’ll make you change your mind.”
She grinned. “You won’t. And I must say, in my time I’ve heard a lot of proposals. Yours was not exactly the most romantic in recent memory. Which leads me to believe you don’t think I’m your mate either.”
Mack stared. She had him there.
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a good man, Machar. Any woman would be lucky to have you.” Leda released him and walked back to the bed. She leaned down and fetched her clothing and began to dress. “But before you enter as a contestant on one of those horrid dating games, I should remind you of something.”
Mack reached for his jeans and his prized Sex Pistols T-shirt. He slid them on. “That being?”
She took a look around his bedroom, her gaze riveted to the various implements of his trade. His bow and arrows were propped up on a corner chair. His dresser was littered with knives of increasingly scary dimensions. Hell, he even had a couple of old swords lying around. He’d always had a soft spot for the swords he’d used in days gone by. “Have you forgotten how you spend much of your time? You’re a hunter of dangerous men, Machar. You play perilous games,” Leda said, frowning. “Do you really want to bring a family into that?”
Leda was right. Given his current hobby, it wasn’t fair to get involved with a woman in a serious way. He’d be endangering her as well.
She walked over and laid a soft hand on his arm. “I know your need for revenge is a powerful one. But don’t you think it’s time you let it go and stop haunting the beaches like a wraith?”
Mack ran a hand over her chestnut waves and rubbed her head. “I know you worry about me, lass, but I don’t think I can let this go. I lost too much to … forgive and forget.”
“I’m not suggesting you forgive the finmen or forget her. I’m suggesting you move on. Give up the hunt.”
His lips twitched. He hoped the result was a smile but wasn’t sure. “I can’t do it. I won’t. He needs to pay for what he did to her.”
“But, Mack, in all these years, you’ve never seen him surface.”
“It doesn’t matter. They’re a vile race, and at least I keep them from hurting another mortal woman. Even if I never get revenge on the one who took my Anne, it’s still worth it. You won’t sway me on this, Leda.”
“I understand.” She brushed his cheek with the backs of her fingers and searched his eyes for a long time. “Well, at least give yourself a wee vacation. It’s been so long since you and I have done something fun, and I have the perfect escape. A friend of mine is doing work on a salvage ship in the Caribbean. He needs helps identifying certain artifacts and has asked me to join him. They’ve already made some amazing discoveries, and the money will be good. You know you love this sort of thing, and your knowledge of antiques is better than mine. I’d love for you to join me.”
Mack considered the venture as Leda leaned over to retrieve her boots. He had a passion for antiques and was known around Orkney for his expertise, often being called upon by local vendors and appraisers. Of course, none of his human contacts suspected it was because Machar was around when those antiques were new. Selkie folk were discreet with their true identities and longevity, rarely sharing what they were with humankind.
It had been ages since he and Leda had worked on a salvage ship, and it had been even longer since he’d felt the Caribbean sun on his face. Scotland on its hottest day could never boast the heat of the tropics. This jaunt might be fun and might help him forget his odd desire to find the woman of his dreams. It might also be good to distance himself from his plan for revenge, just for a while, so he could return fresh.
“I’ll join you, Leda.”
“Wonderful.” She pulled on her high-heeled boots and clicked over to him. She grasped him and gave him a squeeze and a lingering kiss on the mouth. “I set out tonight. Will you come with me?”
“I’ll just take care of a few things here first and head out on my own tomorrow.”
“Very well.” She gave him directions. “I’ll look for you in a couple of days then.” With that, Leda was off. Mack watched her sashay out of his bedroom, her rounded arse wiggling, and then stared at the closed door for a couple of minutes.
This trip might be just what he needed. And maybe, while there, he could convince Leda that they should give this mate thing a proper go.
And yet, even as he considered the idea, his gut rolled in painful objection.
Dismissing his apprehensions, Machar decided to pay a little visit to his family before setting out for the Caribbean. Selkie were accustomed to being nomadic. Families didn’t always cling to their members, but since wee Morgan had been born, the Kirk clan had been steadfast. Perhaps he could also have a wee chat with Calan and Angus about this frustrating mate business. Not that he suspected his brothers had much advice. Angus and Calan had been dumbstruck by love, and Mack remembered well how confused they’d been. Confused, yet also oddly determined. As if nothing would ever keep them away from the women who would become their mates. As if it had all been preordained somehow.
Once again swallowing the sense of weird anticipation in his throat, Mack headed out the door and strode over to his parked Harley. He jumped on the beast and roared off toward his parents’ home, knowing his family would be ensconced there.
* * * *
A couple of days later, on a brisk autumn day, Machar escaped to the beach. He was glad he’d wrenched himself from the bosom of his ever-loving family. His brothers had teased him to no end about his inclination to mate and procreate. Well, not Calan and Angus. They’d patted his back and offered him sympathetic smiles. They understood.
But the others … hell. His internal clock had been far too amusing to them. While his mother cooed over him and the possibility of more grandbabies, his other brothers had lambasted him, confirmed bachelors that they were. Arseholes, every last one.
“You want to mate,” Jamie, one of his younger brothers, had crowed. “That’s delightful. When you’re done, Mack, perhaps we can go shoe shopping or discuss dress patterns. Wait, do women still sew their own frocks?”
“No, no, no,” Edan, another brother had interjected, while twirling a lock of his long, red hair like a woman. “I’ve already booked Machar. We’re gettin’ our hair and nails done, so piss off.”
“You
eejits
are just sore because, in mating, I’d be getting laid on a regular basis,” Mack had replied, defensive in a way he didn’t understand. “You’re … jealous.”
The brothers had roared in mirth at that one. Fine. They all did well with women. They were selkies, of course. None of them needed to get married to get laid. Not exactly his best comeback. This deviant desire was frying his brain cells.
The remaining bachelor brothers, Breannan and Drummond, had rushed to Mack’s side and rubbed his shoulders in fake sympathy.
“There, there, pet,” Drummond had crooned, his blue eyes glistening with merriment. “Don’t listen to the bastards.”
“That’s right,” Breannan had said. “They are jealous because you didn’t ask them to be bridesmaids.” Breannan had dropped a chaste kiss on Mack’s cheek, and Mack reached behind and swatted him hard and then wiped his cheek.
Another resounding peel of laughter had ripped the house in two, waking up poor Morgan. Elsie, the baby’s mother, had skelped each of the offending brothers about the head. “Leave poor Mack alone, you big Neanderthals, or I’ll put you all on diaper duty. In fact, I’d love to see it. Mack’s not afraid to change the baby, but every time she so much as toots, the rest of you look like deer caught in someone’s headlights.”
“Mack loves kiddies,” Jamie had said, on the defense. “Besides, have you smelled your daughter when she soils herself? The wee bairn is more catastrophic to the environment than an oil spill.”
“Would you like me to see to Morgan?” Mack had asked.
“No, thanks,” Elsie had answered, glaring at the other brothers. She’d promptly left to go comfort the child, followed by her devoted husband Angus.
Maggie, Calan’s wife, rushed over and gave him a hug. “Don’t listen to them. I think it’s wonderful you want to find your mate.” She’d leaned over and whispered with a grin, “Don’t tell Calan, but mating was the making of him.”
Calan had pulled her into his lap, possessive arms wrapped about her middle. “I heard that, woman.” But any gruffness in his tone was belied by the warmth in his eyes as he covered her mouth with his, making the other brothers groan.
Jamie had grimaced. “They’re always at it, these two. It’s unnatural, even for selkie folk.” He’d pointed at Mack. “If you’re serious about this mate nonsense, do us a favor. Please take it somewhere else.” He’d held up a hand toward Maggie and Calan until Maggie leaned over and tickled him, making him explode in girlish giggles.
Mack left the house, more confused than ever about this blasted mate business. He was determined to call an end to the crazy notion. He didn’t appreciate being a laughingstock, even among his obtuse brothers. Perhaps he was being ridiculous. Neither of his mated brothers had gone looking for love. It had swept in on Calan and Angus like an unmerciful storm, wiping them out. Mack wasn’t sure he wanted that to happen to him. Best just to get to the salvage ship and find solace in Leda’s welcoming arms at the earliest opportunity.
He stared at the cold waves of the North Sea, hoping the rhythmic crash of the surf would allay the discomfort in his belly. However, the hypnotic pull of the water, a magnetic force for a selkie, did nothing for him today. He was too unsettled.
Hearing voices behind him, Mack turned around and saw Calan and Angus headed his way. They were his youngest and eldest brothers, respectively, and as alike as they were in personality, they couldn’t be more different in appearance. Oh, they were both tall and built like top athletes; every selkie was. Calan had long, dark hair whereas Angus sported short, red spikes. They were both grinning at him.
“Have you come to add insult to injury?” Mack quipped as they approached.
Calan let out a hearty laugh. “And here we are, come to lend support to our brother. You ungrateful bugger.”
Angus laid a hand on Mack’s shoulder. He was the eldest of the brothers and fancied himself top man. He narrowed his blue eyes at Mack. “Ignore them. Mark my words: one day fate will bite those piss weasels on the arse, and they’ll understand the pull of a mate.”
“But that’s the problem,” Mack interjected. “I don’t know who my mate is supposed to be. I feel as if I’m being pulled toward a ghost. How am I supposed to know her if I’ve never met her?”
“You’ll just know,” Calan said. “It’ll be as innocent as catching her scent on the wind or a kiss. It’s as simple as that.”
“And as soon as you do,” Angus added, grinning, “believe us, you’ll be a goner.”
There was another, feminine call, and they all turned to see Elsie and Maggie making their way toward them with the baby in Elsie’s arms. The men watched the women approach. Mack couldn’t help noticing his brothers’ reactions. Angus smiled at his little family as a sigh escaped him. And Calan was just as smitten, staring at Maggie as if she were sent from heaven.
Mack knew these women had become the answers to his brothers’ prayers, even the entreaties they’d never once uttered aloud. They’d filled in them a need they hadn’t realized existed.