Seduction and Snacks (32 page)

Shit! Shit! Shit! For the love of God, Gavin, please don't say anything. I want this to be good for Carter and not ruined by a tiny voice saying he had to pee.

I am a horrible mother.

"Oh fuck Claire, oh fuck," Carter groaned.

Oh God, should I shush him? Subtly put my hand over his mouth?

He thrust hard one last time and I felt him pulse inside me with his release.

Oh thank God. I mean, oh darn, is it over already?

"Mommy, I'm thirsty."

Carter laughed in the middle of his release, sliding in and out of me a few more times before he collapsed on top of me. We laid there for a few seconds trying to catch our breaths.

He is never going to want to have sex with me again. Forget about scarring our kid, I just scarred his penis. I just had the best sex ever and I will never get a repeat performance because Carter’s penis just died.

Rest in peace, my friend, rest in peace. Here lies Carter’s penis. Beloved member, hard worker and all around good guy.

"Mommy!" Gavin yelled from out in the hall.

"Just a minute!" I yelled back right next to Carter’s ear.

Carter pushed up and looked at me with a smile.

Here it comes, the penis kiss-off.

"Give me thirty minutes and we're doing this again. Next time though, we're duct taping him to his bed."

I wasn't gonna lie. Mid-thrust, I swore I heard someone knock on my bedroom door. I couldn't, for the life of me, think of who would be knocking on my bedroom door. Especially at one o'clock in the morning, while my dick was buried in the girl of my dreams. What if it was a serial killer? Frankly, even if one did kick the door down right then, I wasn't stopping. Unless he had a gun. We could quite possibly outrun someone with a knife. A gun, though, we weren't going to get away from that. I might as well die happy and inside of Claire.

Then I wondered briefly if Jim broke in and was going to stand outside the door harassing me by yelling things like, "I hope you know what you're doing with that thing," or "Claire’s like a sister to me. If you don't make her orgasm six times, I will gut you like a fish."

Thinking about Jim during a time like this was all sorts of wrong and almost made my dick go soft.

Almost.

Claire did some super power maneuver with her vagina that made it feel like that thing had a fist and squeezed my penis like a stress ball. Holy mother of vaginas!

My head was back in the game at that point—a little too back in the game. She felt so good I never wanted to stop, but her little vagina hand kept squeezing me and I wanted to weep it felt so good. She was warm and tight and fit me so perfectly. I wanted to be a total douche and tell her that her vagina felt like warm apple pie, just like in the movies. But not just any apple pie, McDonald's apple pie. The kind that are so warm and delicious they had to put them on the dollar menu so you could afford to eat eleven of them. I would eat eleventy-billion Claire vaginas. The little sounds she made as I drove into her forced my orgasm up through me faster than I wanted it to. Hearing her tell me she didn't want me to stop and that she wanted to feel me almost made my head explode...both of them.

I kissed Claire in an effort to try and slow down my impending orgasm but that just made it worse. Her mouth was the most delicious thing I ever tasted and her tongue sliding against mine made my dick pulse inside of her. Pushing into her welcoming heat as deeply as I could go, my orgasm burst out of me and I almost had a moment of panic that I was going to come so hard it would burst through the condom.

We all knew I had super powerful sperm. It could happen. Again. Those little fucker's heads were banging against the end of the condom screaming in anarchy, "The man is trying to keep us down! Damn the man!"

After the first throb of my orgasm, a little voice came through the closed bedroom door.

"Mommy, I'm thirsty."

I burst out laughing in the middle of shooting thousands of furious, fist-shaking little sperm into my condom. Claire's legs and arms were wrapped tightly around me and I collapsed right on top of her, careful not to put all of my weight on her. I would like her to still be alive so we could do this again. I'm not much into necrophilia.

We lay there breathing heavily for a few minutes and I started to chuckle again. How could I have forgotten there was a kid in the house? I actually thought an axe murderer might have broken in and was courteously knocking on my door before barging in. For some reason, that seemed more logical than remembering I had a child and he was in the house.

"Mommy!"

"Just a minute!" Claire screamed right by my ear.

I pushed myself up so I could see Claire's face and asked her if we could duct tape him to the bed the next time we did this. I really didn't expect her face to light up as brightly as it did. I was joking about the duct tape. Sort of.

"We'll have to come up with some kind of lie to tell him about what we're doing," she said.

"Do you – fuck, shit-fuck, unnngf! I sputtered while making the “o” face.

There it was again. That vagina squeeze. What the fuck was that?

"Okay, what the fuck did you just do with your vagina? I think I just came again."

She laughed and the motion pushed my shrinking dick right out of her vagina. I wanted to pout at the loss, but then I realized Gavin was still outside our bedroom door.

Wow, we suck. I hope he isn't bleeding from the head or anything.

Sorry, son, mommy and dad were busy playing hide the salami. How's the head wound?

I shifted off of Claire and grabbed some Kleenex from the nightstand to dispose of the condom. I almost smirked at the jizz inside and gave them all the finger. Ha ha little fuckers. Not this time!

"Kegels," Claire said as she quickly grabbed her shirt and threw it over her head and then shimmied into her skirt. It didn't escape my notice that she didn't put her underwear back on.

"Wait, what? Did you say kegels? Why are we talking about cereal?"

At this point Gavin was rattling the door handle so hard I wouldn't be surprised if the thing came off in his hand. I swung my legs off the side of the bed and threw on my boxer briefs, walking over to the door with Claire.

"Not Kellogs, Jenny, kegels," Claire laughed. "And they are the explanation for my awesome vagina."

I wanted to swat her cute little ass for the Jenny comment but didn't have time. She swung open the door to find Gavin standing there with his head against the door jam looking bored.

Claire knelt down and took him in her arms.

"Hey, bud, are you okay? Did you get scared or something?" I asked, ruffling the hair on top of his head.

"What were you guys doing in here?"

Geeze, nothing like getting right to the point.

Claire pulled back from him and looked up at me.

"Uh…ummmm," she stammered.

"Were you guys playing a game?" he asked.

I snickered at that, wondering if Claire would punch me if I told him about the rules of hide the salami.
The first rule of hide the salami is never knock on a locked door during the game unless you are bleeding from the eyes or something is on fire. Like your hair. Anything else can wait until the game is over.

"Well, we were making a phone call. A very important phone call," Claire explained.

Gavin looked at her like he didn't believe her.

"It was a long-distance phone call," I explained. "And it was really big and important. We couldn't wait one more minute to make the phone call and once we made the call, we couldn't stop or it would have been…painful. So that's why we didn't answer the door when you knocked. Yep, really big phone call. Your mom screamed when she saw how big it was."

Claire reached up and pinched my thigh for that one, but I couldn't help it.

"Your father is over exaggerating how big this phone call really was," she said dryly.

My mouth popped open and Gavin looked at me funny. Claire just knelt there giving me an annoyed look, not even realizing what she just let slip.

A swarm of butterflies started flapping around in my stomach, and I wanted to reach down and scoop both of them up and jump around the room. We hadn't talked yet about telling Gavin who I was. I wanted more than anything for him to call me "Dad," but I didn't want to rush things with Claire. She had done this all on her own for so long, I didn't want to step on her toes. I wanted her to come to this decision on her own, knowing that she trusted me with Gavin.

I could see when the realization hit. Her face got horribly pale and I was a little worried she might barf on my bare feet for a second. She looked back and forth between Gavin and me several times before her eyes landed on mine and she quickly stood up.

"Oh my God. I'm sorry. I have no idea why I just blurted that out," she whispered, glancing back down at Gavin to see if he could hear her. He just stood there looking at both of us like we were idiots.

"Shit. I'm sorry! I'll just tell him I was kidding. I'll tell him I was talking about the phone call or something. Oh my God! I am such a dumbass," she mumbled.

I rubbed my hands up and down her arms to calm her.

"Hey, listen to me. It's fine. Actually, it's more than fine. I wanted to ask you about telling him but I was afraid you would think it was too soon," I explained.

She let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to do something you're not ready for."

"Baby, I was ready for this as soon as I pulled the stupid out of my ass and came to talk to you after that first week."

She leaned up and gave me a quick kiss before turning around to pick Gavin up.

"So, Gavin. Do you know what a daddy is?" she asked him.

He stared at me and thought about it for a few minutes. I started to get worried. What if he didn't want me as his dad? What if he thought I was too strict or too stupid? Shit, I shouldn't have made him clean up the toothpaste on his floor. Cool dads didn't make their kids do shit like that. Cool dads took their kids to strip clubs and let them throw big parties at their houses and smoked pot with them on Sunday afternoons while they picked their fantasy football teams.

"Is Papa your daddy?" he asked.

Claire nodded. "You are very smart, little man! Yes, Papa is my daddy. And Carter is your daddy."

We both stood there in silence while Gavin looked back and forth between us.

He is totally sizing me up right now.

"I'll take you to get a lap dance and smoke pot with you during fantasy draft week," I blurted.

Claire looked at me like I lost my mind.

"Can I call you punk-daddy?" Gavin finally asked nonchalantly, ignoring my outburst.

Gavin asked for a father and saw that he was good.

Yes, I quoted the bible and compared my son to God. Shut up.

Claire laughed at Gavin's request.

"How about you just call him 'Daddy'?" she asked.

"How about I call him 'Daddy-face'," Gavin countered.

This kid was bartering on what version of daddy he could call me. He was a genius. And I was concerned for no reason at all. I reached over and took Gavin from Claire's arms.

"How about we let Mommy go to sleep and you and I discuss my new name while I put you back to bed?" I asked.

Claire reached up on her toes to kiss Gavin's cheek and then leaned over to do the same to mine. Gavin put his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Okay, baby-daddy."

Claire and I both burst out laughing at that one. As I walked out into the hall, I turned my head and mouthed the words, "thank you" to her before walking Gavin back to his room.

***

I really didn't know why I was so worried about Carter freaking out when I called him Gavin's father. It proved to me yet again just how wonderful he was.

While Carter was putting Gavin back to bed, I reached into my overnight bag and pulled out the tank top and boy shorts I brought for pajamas and changed into them. I brushed my teeth and then got back into bed to curl under the covers and wait for Carter to come back. I just started to doze off when I felt the bed dip and his arms circle around my waist. I smiled and snuggled back into his warm body.

"Everything go okay?" I murmured sleepily.

"Yep, he decided he wasn't thirsty anymore but he made me read him a story. And we compromised on 'Daddy-o' for now," he said with a chuckle.

"You're getting off easy. Two weeks ago he kept referring to me as 'Old Lady'."

I lay there wrapped in Carter’s arms and it was the most comfortable I had ever been.

For about five minutes.

This just proved that everything they did in the movies was a load of bullshit. His arm was under my neck on the pillow which tilted my head at an awkward angle. I could already feel the beginnings of a kink. I was starting to sweat like a whore in church with his other arm heavily draped over my waist and his legs tangled with mine. With my sweaty ass and his itchy leg hair, it felt like I had a hundred mosquito bites on my legs.