Seducing Celestine (17 page)

Celestine felt her heart leap with hope. Woo hoo! The end was near!

“Come on, what do I really know about you, Julia, other than you’re greedy and a manipulative bitch that I would be happy never to see the back end of again?” That was all she wanted to know of Julia Bailey. Possibly she had a good side and displayed finer, nobler feelings but Celestine doubted it. “To be honest, Julia, I do not give a rat’s ass what happens to you once we part.”

Julia smiled at her words as if what Celestine had said had struck a chord with her. She turned the ignition on in the car. The car rolled forward, heading back toward South Pine Road and the front of the library.

“You know something, Celestine Holt, you are a pain in the backside,” Julia told her, her eyes alight with a sudden spark of decision. “But you are also right. Get ready to jump.”

“What?” Jump? Jump where? And how? Her hands and her feet were once again bound.

“I’m going to let you go but I’m not going to stop long enough for the cops to get me. So you’ll have to jump from the car.” Julia looked at Celestine critically. “You look like you’d have a lot of cellulite. If you land on that you will be fine.”

Celestine looked at the woman disbelievingly. Was it that obvious she had cellulite?

“I retain water really easily.” That was her defense and she was sticking to it. Frigging bitch.

Julia laughed out loud.

“You’re more pissed off that I called you fat than by jumping out of a moving car. You are weird, Celestine Holt.”

“So speaks the woman with the fake boobs…” Celestine muttered tiredly. She had to get back on track. Name-calling was all well and good but she had to convince Julia to let her go without the dramatics. “You want me to jump, or more likely fall, from a moving car?” Celestine was no daredevil or even the slightest bit athletic. She knew falling out of a moving car onto the road would hurt like hell. “I was hoping you would undo me and let me walk away. You know, be nice to me, for old times’ sake.”

“Nah, I don’t do nice.” Julia grinned as if she was enjoying Celestine’s predicament. Julia had solved the problem of what she was going to do. It was now Celestine’s problem to stop herself from getting too badly hurt when she fell. “I will slow the car and you can fall out. That’s the best I can promise, Celestine.”

“God, you are a selfish cow!” Jeez, Celestine just knew she was going to have some serious gravel rash.

Julia slowed the car enough so she could to reach over, one hand on the steering wheel as she undid Celestine’s door. Once undone, she grabbed Celestine’s arm.

“I hope they catch you!” Celestine snarled as she felt the door fly open beside her. The ground sped by at an alarming rate. This was what Julia called slowing down?

“See you around, Celestine,” Julia said in careless farewell. She pushed her out of the car, not bothering to either shut the passenger door or look back to see how Celestine fared as she gunned the car and sped off.

Celestine fell hard onto the asphalt, rolling and swearing loudly as she went. The momentum of her body finally flung her to slam hard into a gutter. She felt like every bone in her body had been broken as she lay in an undignified lump. She was in agony. At least it proven she did not have enough fat to break her fall.

“Yay. A bright side,” Celestine groaned as she rolled into a ball as the pain hit her. She was not numb anymore. Celestine could see people running toward her. Her head started to swim dizzily. Just as Nick reached her and she knew she was safe, she gave in to the urge to faint.

Chapter Eleven

“You are not checking out of this hospital, Celestine Holt.” Nick’s voice was most definite on that score.

Celestine arched her eyebrows at Nick’s commanding tone. She did not do orders. It was a genetic quirk of hers to instantly do the opposite of what everyone expected. Besides, she felt fine. Well, maybe not fine. More like passably okay. The painkillers that the doctor had prescribed were mighty fine and they were kicking in nicely. Other than the odd twinge she was good to go. Granted, she looked like crap but no one could be picture perfect all the time. However, bruises faded and cuts healed. The important thing was that Celestine was still standing, albeit in a wobbly fashion and there was no reason for her to stay in hospital.

“I am perfectly okay and as I am no longer in danger, I just want to go home.” Well, as much of a home as her rathole of a house was. But more importantly, she needed to get out of hospital. She had lain awake the previous night listening to the soft voices of the nurses and the whining of patient call buttons, thinking about Nick and what to do about him and her feelings. The fact that she could not stop thinking about how they had had sex in this very hospital did not help. It only made her horny and confused. Was sex all they really had between them? Was she mistaking lust for love? The answer came to her at four o’clock that morning. It was she did not frigging know and lying in an uncomfortable hospital bed was not helping her. It was a less than definitive but that was the best she could come up with.

Nick paced in frustration before her.

“I could not believe it when the nurse told me you had signed yourself out. You are supposed to stay in another night for observation.”

“Well, I’m supposed to do a lot of things I don’t do.” Exercise regularly, eat properly, control swearing, not speed through amber lights…the list was bloody endless. So, in the scheme of things, leaving hospital of her own accord seemed such a small thing compared to everything else. So why didn’t the nurse come back with her prescription refills so Celestine could get out of having this conversation with Nick Swan? Every minute she spent with him was one minute closer to throwing herself in his arms. If and when she did do said throwing, she wanted it to be for the right reason. Love—not just lust. Although lust was awfully good, Celestine wanted more.

“You have your mind set on this, don’t you?”

“Yep.” Celestine tried to pretend the moment of wooziness she was experiencing wasn’t happening. She did not need an “I told you so” moment with Nick. She casually sat back on the bed behind her as if nothing was wrong.

Nick shook his head at her actions.

“Blind Freddie can see you’re not well. If you insist on leaving come and stay with me.”

“No thanks.” Now that Celestine was no longer in danger, she could go home. The real estate agent had already repaired the damage to her house. Apparently it still looked like crap but it was livable. Celestine knew she could relax and recover better in her own space and her own bed. Having Nick around would be too much of a temptation. The man could seduce her with a look and while that was exciting it did not help with her confusion over what to do with him, other than having sex with him.

“Why not?” Nick looked at her as if he really was having trouble working out what was going on in Celestine’s mind.

“Because…” It was a totally inadequate response but it was the only one she had. “Nick, this is not up for discussion.” Of course Celestine knew instinctively they were actually heading for an argument and not a discussion anyway. She pushed her hair back from her face with gravel-scraped fingers. Her hair had been nightmare of knots and tangles when she had first arrived at the hospital. A kind nurse aide had helped her untangle it. But now that she was clean, bandaged and untangled, she was ready to go home. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you really, Celestine? You’re battered, bruised and can barely walk.” Nick gave her a look that told her he believed she did not have a clue about her actions. “But I can see you’re basically going to politely listen to me then disregard everything I say and go your own sweet way. That was pretty much her plan in a nutshell and Celestine knew Nick wouldn’t be thrilled about it. But there it was.

“I have everything under in control. I will be fine.”
Or I will make it up as I go along
.

“What a load of crap.” Nick did not believe her for a second.

“Tell it like it is, why don’t you?”

“I always do. How about you?”

Mostly Celestine did when she knew what she was doing. She didn’t have a damned clue at the moment.

“I need time to think.”

Nick crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her searchingly.

“What about?”

And this was why she needed time to think. She couldn’t think straight with Nick standing in front of her like that with his biceps bulging. It made her want to look at other places on his anatomy that also may be bulging.

“You…me…this thing between us.”

“You mean the ‘thing’ that we love each other?”

“Do we?”

Nick’s eyes softened on her.

“What are you scared of, baby?”

Pretty much damned everything when it comes to you
.

“I just need time alone.”

“To hide from what you’re feeling? Don’t be like your parents. Just because they could not get along, it doesn’t mean we won’t.”

“How do you know I’m not like them?” Her parents had clearly married in a mad minute and lived to regret it. Genetically she had the same “dumb” genes they did.

“Because you are a warm, sensitive, sensual woman who gives without expecting anything in return.” Nick’s eyes locked on hers, giving his words extra meaning. “Yeah, making love with you is the best thing that ever happened to me but it’s only because it’s you and I love you. And before you say it or think it, I don’t just love you because of the sex.”

Celestine wished she was so certain about her feelings. One minute she knew with dead-set certainty she was in love with Nick. The next she did not have a clue. If she was going to do the love thing, Celestine wanted to do it right. Maybe it was a storybook ideal but to her love meant long-term commitment and sharing and compromise. If she could not do that right, she did not want to do it at all. What if she had children who turned out like her because of the childhood she had? Kids needed to understand love. That came from their parents.

“I care for you—”

“You care for me?” Nick interrupted, as if he could not believe her words. “What a coward you are, Celestine Holt.”

“All we have is sex.”

“You know we have so much more.” Nick ran an irritated hand through his hair. “Yes, sex between us is fantastic.”

“I agree but I don’t really know if it’s love.”

“Would you have sex with any man? Would you kiss him like you kiss me? Or spread your legs wide and beg him to make you come? How about drop to your knees and suck his cock to drive him wild?”

“No.” Even as Nick said the words, visions of them together doing just that shot into her mind and made her instantly wet.

“You love me.” Nick moved toward her.

Celestine held up her hands to stop him. Oh God, if he touched her now, she knew she would be pulling the curtain around her bed and sucking that cock of his inside her. And as good as that would be, it did not solve her problem.

“That’s just it, Nick, I don’t know if I love you. In the last week, with everything that has gone on, I haven’t known what the hell I was doing from one moment to the next, let alone knowing whether I am in love with you.” The hurt in Nick’s eyes stabbed her to the core. But she had to be true to herself. “It may not be fair to you. It may not be what you want to hear.” How the hell did she make him understand? “I don’t want to hurt you but I need time to think. I don’t know what I feel and you demanding that I make a decision or a commitment is not helping me. The decision I make has to be right for me. I can’t be pressured into it.”

Nick shook his head and laughed sadly.

“Do you care what I think at all?”

Celestine cared for Nick and his opinions more than he would ever know. Couldn’t he see that if and when she came to him it would be for the right reasons and forever? Nick deserved a woman who was totally firm in her love for him.

“Of course I do but by the same token, this is something I need to do.” She stood up as if to illustrate her point. “I’m a big girl and I am capable of looking after myself. I know what my limits are.”

“You haven’t got a clue what your limits are, Celestine Holt. They are so rigid and unchanging that just out of sheer stubborn stupidity you will pass up the greatest love in your life.”

That was very much on the cards but they were her cards to play.

“Well, Nick, that’s very dramatic, I’m sure.”

“I knew you would do this, Celestine.” Nick sighed. He was a man that knew he was getting nowhere with the woman he loved.

“If you knew that, why did you bother coming?”

“Baby, you know why I came. I love you.” Nick leaned forward and kissed Celestine softly. “Think by all means. Just don’t screw this up for us.”

Chapter Twelve

Celestine stood in the lounge room of her home and wondered what the hell she was doing there. The taxi dropped her off at the house all of two minutes ago and it seemed like a foreign place to her. Although the damage had been repaired, this house was no longer her home. The memories it evoked were not ones Celestine cared to remember or live with anymore. She knew there was no way she could stay. So what to do now? What to pack? Where to go? Did she love Nick or not? Was she being stupid or not? The answers came back as
don
’
t know
,
don
’
t know
,
most likely
,
you stubborn wench
and
yes
,
you are stupid
.

“Yay, life…can you get any more confusing?” Celestine muttered to herself. Pre-Nick all Celestine had to think about was the pursuit of money to pay her debts. Now she had that problem mixed up with all the others. Not that Nick was a problem. He was more like a temptation mixed up in a dilemma with a twist of confusion added for angst value. Or more precisely, she was the actual angst value.

“Okay, time to get a grip, woman.” Standing and staring at her sparse furniture was getting her nowhere. Celestine sighed and started off in the direction of her bedroom. What the hell shape would the bed be in? She really needed to lie down…maybe with some chocolate biscuits. Celestine stopped and detoured into the kitchen. Chocolate was excellent thinking food. The sound of a car door slamming in the driveway made her swear out loud. It had to be Nick. Pushy, sexy bastard.