Secrets in Mourning (15 page)

“But—”

“No.” He shook his head firmly. When he saw she was going to say more he spoke again. “Nothing can come of us.” He couldn’t afford to have her argue it. He only had so much self control before he locked her back into his arms.

He would never let her go again if that happened.

Biting her lip, she took a step in retreat before anger glinted in her eyes. She didn’t say anything before moving away, her back held straight as a queen’s.

And that’s when he finally admitted it to himself.

He would never love another more than the proud woman who walked away from him.

Chapter 10

It was much later that night when Victoria finally gave up on sleeping. Wrapping her dressing gown tightly around her muslin-clad shoulders, she burrowed her feet into slippers and left her room to haunt the long, drab corridors of Lynfield Hall.

Ignoring the creaking floors, Victoria continued on, her thoughts fully occupied with the night’s events.

Nothing can come of us,
he had said. The thought still infuriated her. It was the first time in her life that a man had turned her down. The first time a man hadn’t thrown himself at her feet.

And why should I care?
Her nose twitched. Why did she care?

Looking around at the manor, she wanted to laugh. It was hardly a treasure with as many outdated rooms as there were refurbished ones, but part of her couldn’t really commit to her mental taunt.

She didn’t have it in her anymore. And if she were being honest with herself, which she needed to be in her own head, she had come to love the old estate.

It had character. It was so different than everything she had known before.

Just like the owner.

Is that what fascinated her? That he was different from other men? Was it the fact that he was attracted to her but fought it that she found so inviting?

He was handsome, to be sure, but that wasn’t all. He was kind. Kind in a way she hadn’t seen before. Not only to people of his own class, but to everyone.

He was special. But he wanted her to leave.

And she would be wise to heed his wisdom. She didn’t belong here. She didn’t belong with him.

Her nose twitched again. Then a third time.

Was that smoke?

She froze, standing like a doe sensing a threat. Definitely smoke.

A high-pitched ring pierced the night sky. The estate bell was ringing, signaling people from all around to come and help put down a fire.

Which had to mean it was large enough for someone to have noticed already.

Moving easily through the manor, she made it out of the house, barely affected by the small doses of smoke in this area of the building.

People were already filtering outside when others from the village ran toward the manor. A line had begun, ranging from the east wing down to the lake so that water could be moved swiftly.

Leaving the west wing of the house, Victoria felt her stomach fill with pitch as she rounded the corner, watching in horror as fire shot out of windows, the glass exploding from the expanding air.

“Molly!” Victoria ran to the girl who was helping another servant with a minor burn. “Are you all right?”

“Yes.” She nodded, although tears ran down her cheeks. “I’m not injured.”

“Is everyone safe?”

“I’m not sure.” She scanned the gathering crowd. “It looks as though everyone made it out. The fire was just coming into the servants’ quarters when the alarm was sounded. It could have been much worse.”

“Thank heavens.” Victoria sighed in relief, but began searching the crowd again, looking for one face in particular. She didn’t want to think about how her heart began to accelerate as she sifted through the faces, her panic rising as she didn’t see Connor. And now that she thought about it, the Dowager Countess either.

“Oh, good Lord,” Victoria whispered. Dread settled in her heart, knowing they were both still in the burning building. “Have you seen the Earl or his mother?”

“Yes, I…” her mouth opened and closed. “No. Actually I haven’t seen either of them.” Her voice rose to a squeak. “You don’t think they could still be in there?”

“They must be.” And at that moment, Victoria knew what she had to do. It didn’t matter if she got injured; it didn’t matter if she died. All she knew was that she couldn’t let him die. She began to run toward the house.

“No! Victoria, no! It’s not safe!” Molly screamed, but Victoria barely heard her.

If there was even a remote chance Connor was in there, trapped, she need to help him. Any anger she had felt from his rejection melted away as her heart screamed one truth over and over again.

She couldn’t live without him.

With love blazing as hotly as the flames that licked at the dry, decaying wood, Victoria pushed herself harder through the house, making her way to the room of the woman who had made her life hell.

If he was anywhere, he would be heading there to save his mother.

***

Connor cursed as the minor burn on his leg got splashed by the passing buckets. What the hell had happened?

He knew people were often lax on festival nights as they over-imbibed, but he couldn’t imagine that one of his servants would be so careless as to leave a flame unattended. But accidents happened.

“Move faster!” Connor called out, standing in line with the others, moving water buckets as quickly as possible while shouting out commands.

Every hand was needed if they were going to save the manor. Including his own.

After being assured that everyone was out of the house, he had begun leading his people in what needed to be done.

“My lord!”

“Molly?” He pushed away some of the hair that was sticking to his face from sweat. “Molly, what is it?” He took in her panic-glazed eyes and quickly moved out of the water line. When she began babbling incoherently, he gripped her shoulders hard, forcing her to focus. “Slow down. What happened?”

“It’s Victoria,” she finally croaked out. His heart lurched in his chest. “She went back inside!”

“What!” he roared, looking up as another window burst.

“She thought you were in there with your mother and she went in after you.”

“My mother?” He jerked his head around the crowd, not seeing her anywhere. “Good God!” He pushed by her quickly, going numb as he ran back into the burning building. Fear clogged his throat more effectively than the black smoke that billowed around him.

He couldn’t lose her. Not now, not ever.

He ignored the flames licking at the walls, occasionally flicking out long, hot tongues that scorched his skin. None of it mattered.

“Connor!” He heard Victoria yell as he entered his mother’s suite. “Connor, thank heavens! I can’t get her to wake! I don’t know if she’s breathing.”

Moving quickly into the room, he saw his mother’s limp body on the bed, Victoria pulling her, unable to move her unconscious weight.

Seeing the flames had already entered the room, he knew there might not be enough time for them to get out. Not wasting another second, he scooped his mother’s limp weight in his arms. “Hurry! This room might collapse any moment,” he yelled over the flames.

He didn’t need to tell her a second time. She followed closely at his heels, coughing as her lungs protested the black smoke. They made it to the first floor a moment before the stairs collapsed behind them.

Victoria’s screams struck pure ice in his veins, but she kept moving with him, scared, but uninjured.

The entire entryway was encased in flames. “To the back!”

Even the furniture was on fire, charred and collapsing where it fell. Flames raced up the walls, eating the dry timber like a starved bear who had just woken up from a long winter.

The halls seemed never ending. Time slowed by as every heartbeat hammered in his chest.

Icy fear grasped hold of him. His sweat clammed his skin. He didn’t know if they’d make it out alive, didn’t know if these were the last few moments of their lives.

He hadn’t told her that he loved her. And he might not ever have that opportunity again.

The hallway in front of them was blocked, the door warped in its frame. Hefting his mother up higher in his arms, he made sure Victoria was clear before kicking the wood down, leaving splinters in its path.

And when he thought they’d never take another breath of fresh air again, their feet touched the cobblestone of the garden, the path quickly turning into grass.

A safe distance away, he laid his mother down, freezing for a moment until he saw her chest heaving in ragged breaths.

She would live.

He turned quickly to Victoria, scanning her for injuries. Seeing none, he felt his body sag in relief.

“The house… I’m so sorry.”

Yanking her into his arms, his mouth went to hers. His body shook as he realized he had come so close to losing her. He didn’t care about the damn house. Didn’t care about anything but her.

She rode the storm with him, tongues darting, flicking, mingling as they purged their fear. He could feel her heart beating against his chest, racing in time with his as they both charged forward.

Breaking contact, his hands shook as he brought them to her face, carefully holding her jaw like porcelain.

“What were you thinking?”

She didn’t turn away from his blazing look and he felt a small thrill. “I thought you were in there. I didn’t see you outside.”

“Oh, God. You could have been killed.” He shook again, his eyes closing sharply at the thought.

Her cool hand touched his face, leaving a smudge of soot in its wake. “I’m all right. And I’m glad I went in.” She looked down at his mother. “I couldn’t have borne the thought of her dying because I hadn’t the courage to go in after you both.”

“After everything she’s done?” He couldn’t weed out the disbelief in his voice. He didn’t know many people that would risk their lives for someone who had treated them so poorly.

“Yes. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.”

In that moment, he wanted to pick her up and carry her off somewhere quiet where he could tell her how much he loved and admired her. She was a strong-minded woman, and she had come so far from the spoiled debutante that had first arrived. That woman wouldn’t have lifted a finger to help another for any reason. But this gorgeous, courageous woman, who chipped in on laundry day and befriended servants, had almost sacrificed her life for another.

If he hadn’t been in love with her before, he would have loved her now.

Pride welled in his chest, but now wasn’t the time. He needed to help salvage the house.

Reading his look, she stepped away from him. “Go. There’s still time to save it.”

He nodded, giving her one lingering look before leaving.

***

They had saved the house, but just barely. The guest wing would need to be completely rebuilt, but with some intensive cleaning, some of the family’s quarters would be habitable within the week.