Second Thoughts (4 page)

“It’s my pleasure. Anything for my little sister.” She gave her a brief hug, her eyes brimming with tears. “Mum and Dad would have been so proud of the woman you are, Melissa.” She paused. “Just as much as me.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

Eli dabbed at her eyes and gratefully picked up the glass of water Melissa had put on the table in front of her. Eli always looked uncomfortable showing any kind of emotion. It was only after she’d had a few drinks that she dared to reveal her softer more vulnerable side. Melissa had never quite managed to figure out why Eli could be so stern in some instances.

“I’m sorry about all this,” Eli snivelled, the tip of her nose a pale shade of pink.

“Don’t be silly, it’s fine.”

“You’re a good sister Melissa, I only wish…”

“There’s no point in wishing things were different, Eli. The most important thing is that we’ve made up for lost time now.”

Eli smiled with gratitude and took a sip of her drink, seemingly pulling herself together as she fussed with her hair.

“I just want you to be happy, Melissa. And to have a fantastic life.”

“I am and I will.”

The waitress arrived and laid the tray on the table. All hands rushed for the drinks. In a matter of seconds, the tray was empty.

Melissa reached down to her bag beside her. “I’m really sorry to do this, but I’ve got to make a quick call. Will you be alright for a minute?”

Eli nodded. Melissa hoped she wouldn’t have consumed any more drinks by the time she got back; the last thing she needed to hear again was how awful Eli felt about not being a “real” sister to her when they were growing up. Every time Eli brought it up, Melissa had tried to reassure her that she was happy they had managed to bond over the past few years. But as tonight had shown, she still wasn’t getting through to her.

Edging her way past her friends, Melissa wandered around until she found a quiet spot, giggling to herself as she heard another roar of laughter emerge from the group at her table. She fished out her phone from her bag and dialled Bettina’s number. Bettina answered after one ring. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“We’re having great fun, but I wish you were here.”

“As much as I love you, I’m glad I’m not.”

Melissa laughed for a moment. “Have you had any luck with the wedding music?”

“Yes. Funnily enough I just got off the phone with someone. He’s got a really good reputation. He did a gig for one of my clients.”

“Okay, that’s a relief to hear.”

“Thanks, Melissa.”

“For what?”

“Being thoughtful.”

Melissa looked up to the ceiling. “This really is it, isn’t it?”

Bettina’s voice was soft. “Yes, baby. This is us forever.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

A loud cheer erupted behind her. “Bettina, I’d better get back. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Snapping the phone shut, Melissa headed back to the table. From a short distance away she could see someone had moved into her seat next to Eli. She didn’t immediately recognise the mane of dark, tousled hair that cascaded past the woman’s slender shoulders. She frowned, wondering who the late arrival was. As she moved closer, her step faltered as the woman gave her hair a lofty toss – a familiar move Melissa would know anywhere.

It can’t be.
An involuntary throb of sorrow pulsed through her body at an unimaginable speed as unwanted memories flooded her mind –
Four years
. Four years of not feeling the softness of her skin. Nor hearing the sweet sound of her laughter. The amazing sex. The good times.

She could barely catch her breath as she stared open-mouthed at the woman who had once broken her heart.

The moment of truth had arrived. After all the anticipation and self-talk to bolster her confidence, when Sara actually walked into the bar, Melissa was nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t until she’d greeted her old friends and sat next to Eli that she found out Melissa had gone to make a call. At least that gave her time to prepare herself.

Eli shifted in her seat so she was sitting right up against Sara. “So you’ve come here all the way from the US?” She eyed her closely.

“Yes, it’s been a bit of a rush. I only saw Faye’s email yesterday and managed to catch a last minute flight. I literally got to the hotel and had about ten minutes to get ready.”

Eli gave her a lopsided grin. “Well I’m sure Melissa will be pleased you made the effort. You haven’t met her partner have you?”

Sara shook her head. “I don’t think so.” Neither did she want to meet the woman who had stolen Melissa’s heart. She wasn’t that much of a sadist.

“Ah if you do, you’ll like her. Bettina’s a lovely woman.”

Sara smiled.
Bettina?
The name didn’t sound familiar. “Oh that’s good.”

She sat quietly as Eli rambled on about Bettina’s achievements as a head-hunter for a prestigious recruitment agency. She spoke as if she were Bettina’s mother, proud for having such a high achieving daughter. Sara’s attention drifted in and out of the conversation only becoming fully alert when Eli’s jaw stopped moving and her eyes looked beyond her. Instinctively Sara knew Melissa was close by.

What should she do? Say? She turned and immediately time seemed to fall away. Melissa hadn’t changed a bit, if anything, she looked even hotter. As she neared, Sara’s eyes drank in the sensuality of her body, electricity fizzled through her veins.
How could I have ever let her go
? She damned her stupidity for ever thinking a career could even come close to fulfilling her like Melissa’s love had.

“Ahh here comes the beautiful bride to be?” She heard Eli saying as if from afar, to which she could only nod mutely.

She willed herself to stand, but her legs wouldn’t respond. She wasn’t ready. Not yet. Not like this in front of so many people. Instead she stared wordlessly up at her. Melissa looked radiant. Happy. Content. Sexy. All the things Sara thought she would be lacking. Her ego had fooled her into thinking that nobody could make Melissa happy except for her. But looking at her now, she couldn’t have been more wrong. Sara’s confidence and belief that she could win her back quickly seeped away.

Suddenly she was able to identify the nagging feeling that had been with her since she decided to return to the UK. It was her instinct telling her to let sleeping dogs lie.

She should have turned down Faye’s invitation. No one would have blamed her. After all, travelling five thousand miles to attend a party was no mean feat for anyone. But no, she hadn’t been able to resist. Not her. Not Sara Miller, the woman who possessed a gene that caused her to jump without thinking.

As Melissa reached the foot of the table and stood looking at her, Sara took a deep breath and pushed herself to her feet.

As if aided by an invisible force, Melissa lifted her shoulders and held her head high. She was grateful the raucous women were more concerned with the drinks they were guzzling, than the interaction between her and Sara. Just the mere sight of the woman was enough to make her heart stop beating. Sara, the shamelessly striking brunette with eyes that could melt glaciers in seconds, was only a few feet away. Melissa’s heart made a betraying leap as she took in the red bodice that clung to Sara’s well-toned body.

“Look who made it? All the way from the US of A,” Eli called out, waving in an exaggerated fashion towards Sara.

Melissa smiled, willing her racing pulse to slow.
Deep breath in, slow breath out
.

The nervous flutter in her stomach quickened as Sara edged her way to the head of the table, coming to stand in front of her, a broad grin on her face.

“Hey, Missy. It’s good to see you.”

Though Sara’s features were delicately structured, there was a strength in the penetrating razor blue eyes that bore into her own. Completely enthralled, she had difficulty diverting her gaze. “It’s good to see you too, Sara,” she said with as much composure she could muster.

“Missy, about your parents, I…” she started.

Melissa raised her hand. “Please, don’t. I’d rather not talk about it. It’s okay, really.”

“Okay, but I’m sorry.” Her voice sounded strained.

The two women stood staring at one another. Melissa was too afraid to look away in case Sara vanished into thin air, that her eyes had cruelly played tricks on her.

“So congratulations are in order,” Sara said, swiftly changing the subject. She jerked her head towards the flashing learner plate stuck to Melissa’s chest. Her voice smooth and sure, not a hint of the emotion that was there only seconds ago.

Feeling heat rise to her cheeks, Melissa’s hand unconsciously moved to cover it. Suddenly she felt stupid for wearing it, as if she were a child caught trying on her mother’s clothes. “Hmm.” Melissa twisted the engagement ring on her finger. She was at a loss what to say to the woman she had once thought would be her partner for life.

Sara glanced around the room. “So where’s the lucky lady?”

“She isn’t here.”

In characteristic fashion, Sara jauntily cocked her head to one side and glanced at her with a challenging lift of her eyebrows. Melissa knew that look so well.

“We decided to have separate hen dos. She had hers last week,” Melissa heard herself explain a little too quickly.

“Well it’s good to see you again. Even if it is under these circumstances.”

Now it was Melissa’s turn to mirror Sara’s facial expression. She was truly perplexed by her statement. Sara had said it as if she were at a funeral or attending a wake at the end of a life, not the beginning of one.

Before she had a chance to challenge her, Faye appeared from behind her, swaying slightly in high-heeled boots.

“Sara, you made it. I didn’t think you’d come.” She grabbed her in a bear hug and lifted her off her feet, swinging her around in a circle.

“How could I refuse?”

Faye grinned until she saw Melissa glaring at her.

“You knew Sara was coming?”

“Yeah.” Faye smiled sheepishly. “Well, I’ll let you two catch up for a bit. Speak to you in a bit, Sara.” She winked at Melissa and headed for the bar.

Both women watched her go before turning back to face one another.

Now what? Make small talk about the weather? Ask her about her love life? No, she didn’t think she was strong enough to hear Sara talking about another woman, another love.

“So you’re still in America then?”

“Yep. Still there. And what about you? What have you been up to all these years?”

Melissa could feel her face heating under Sara’s intense gaze. “I own a little coffee shop called
Has Bean.
It’s nothing fancy or anything.”

“I see you haven’t lost your modesty then,” Sara joked. “So tell me, how long have you and Bettina been together?”

Melissa crossed her arms over her chest, feeling a rush of embarrassment. Suddenly her courtship with Bettina seemed very short. “Six months.”

“And you’re getting married already?” Sara blew out a breath. “What’s the rush?”

“No rush. When you’ve met the
one,
what’s the point in waiting?” It was an automatic response. Wasn’t this what she had heard Bettina telling friends and family when they asked the same question?

Sara moistened her lips as her eyes moved slowly across Melissa’s face. “And she’s definitely the one, is she?”

She found herself struggling to say the words.
Come on Melissa get your act together. Don’t let her affect you.
Think of Bettina, your future
. “Most definitely.” She felt her defences crumbling. Sara’s sudden appearance was causing a host of unexpected emotions inside her.

“She must be something.”

“She is.”
Make an excuse and leave. Get away from her, run if you have to. She’s trouble
. Though her mind was being dictatorial, barking commands, her feet disobediently remained glued to the spot.

“So how long are you back for?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

Sara took a step closer and leaned towards her ear. “On you.” Her voice was little more than a whisper.

“On me?” Melissa took a step back and rubbed her neck. The gesture was so intimate; Melissa had to steel herself against falling into her arms.
Please somebody come and rescue me.

“Come on, Melissa,” she heard Justine calling over the music. “The entertainment is here!”

Melissa wanted to drop to her knees and thank God for the intervention, that was until she noticed a woman walking towards them wearing only a thong and nipple tassels – a whip in her hand.

Sara looked towards the woman and laughed. “I’ll catch up with you later. Looks like you’ve got company.”

Melissa watched as she strode back to the table. She didn’t know who she feared most: the stripper or Sara.

The night passed quickly with Melissa feeling relieved when she glanced at her watch and realised it was past midnight. As luck would have it she had managed to avoid being alone with Sara, thanks to Faye monopolising her all night.

Anxiety had plagued her all evening as she’d kept track of Sara’s every move. When Sara had disappeared from view on a couple of occasions, Melissa’s heart had been in her mouth, her stomach turning, wondering where she’d gone, only to relax again when she reappeared.

From her chair in the corner, she could see Sara and Faye sitting on stools, facing one another. Melissa’s eyes moved from one face to the other as if she were watching an intense game of tennis. She wished she had supersonic hearing so she knew what they were talking about.

Eli came to sit beside her, looping her arm loosely through Melissa’s. “Are you okay? You’ve seemed a bit deflated all evening.”

“Have I?” Melissa asked genuinely surprised. She thought she’d managed to pull off the happy bride-to-be, what with the stripper and numerous party games she had participated in with vigour.

“Not that it’s anything noticeable,” Eli added quickly, before covering her mouth when she hiccupped.

“Hmm, maybe I’m just missing Bettina,” her voice broke miserably.

“Yes, maybe.”

She turned to Eli and stifled a yawn. “I think I’m ready to crash.”