Second Chance (Cruiser & Lex, Book 2) (14 page)

Lex

Cruiser opens the door to his house. I smile. “Hey.”

He looks away. “If you’re going to break up with me—”

“What? No way.”

His gaze flits to mine. “You’re not?”

“Of course not. You thought…?”

His face lights up. He grabs me and lifts me off the ground, spinning around as he hugs me close. He lowers me to the ground and kisses me. “Damn, I was so worried. You caught a ride with Dani and I thought—”

“I just needed to think.”

“That you were avoiding me because—”

I put my finger on his lips. “I want to apologize—”

“No. I want to apologize. I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. Always. And no one is going to get in the way. Not even Rey.”

I push some hair off his eyes. “Thanks. That means a lot to me. And I promise to be more understanding when it comes to Rey. I know there are things you need to keep between the two of you. I’m sorry for getting upset.”

He rests his forehead against mine. “Let’s promise never to fight again. I can’t stand it.”

I close my eyes for a few seconds before opening them. “I can’t, either. But I can’t promise that. We’ll probably have more fights in the future.”

He grumbles, making me laugh. I take his hand. “Do you need help catching up with school?”

“I suppose.”

His sour face makes me laugh again. We go up to his room and settle down on his bed with his books. I can’t help but smile as we sit side by side, as I look into his face and see the love he has for me shining in them. Cruiser. My Cruiser.

I pull my eyes away and start reviewing math. After about twenty minutes, I find his head drooping toward his pillow. I snap my finger in his face. He jumps and blinks at me. I giggle. “Pay attention.”

He groans.

“I know, I know. We all gotta do things we don’t like, huh? But sometime down the road, we’ll realize that we really do need to know how to measure the angle of a triangle.”

He laughs. “Was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Something Carter said.”

I bring my hand to my chest. “Don’t tell me you’re actually taking her advice,” I tease. “She’s actually pretty cool. She helped me get through the accident.”

His eyebrows lift and his face washes with guilt. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“For not being there for you. Guess it’s just one of those things I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”

I move closer and snuggle up to him. “Please don’t. Everything happened the way it happened and we can’t do anything about it. Who knows, maybe because of what happened we’re now closer than we would have been had things gone differently.”

He lowers his chin onto the top of my head. “Maybe.”

I lift my head and gaze into his eyes. “Moving forward, remember? We need to let go of the past.”

I think about what Dani and I discussed the other day, how Cruiser and I have all this baggage I wouldn’t have if I were dating another guy. But I realize that having all this baggage can be a good thing. It makes us stronger and shows we can overcome many more obstacles in life. It cements our relationship.

He touches my cheek and smiles. “Moving forward.”

I grin. “Yeah, to measuring the degree of this freakin’ angle.”

He groans again.

We make it to two more problems before Cruiser starts throwing pencils at the ceiling. I raise an eyebrow at him. He gives me a sheepish smile and apologizes. I return to the problems. About five minutes later, he taps a pen against his thigh.

“I think someone needs a break,” I say with a laugh.

“Someone needs to murder the guy who invented math.”

“We’ll get through it, okay? I’m not giving up on you.” I lean over my bed to connect my lips with his. Before he can pull me closer, I move back. “I’m going to prepare a snack for us.”

“Thanks, darlin’.”

I make my way downstairs. Cruiser’s mom is in the kitchen, reading a book. She smiles when I walk in. “How’s the studying going?”

“It’s going good. Is it okay if I grab a snack?”

“Sure, help yourself.” She gestures to the cabinets and focuses back on her book.

I watch her for a few seconds, seeing her hunched shoulders, feeling the loneliness of the room. Cruiser’s dad leaving her obviously crushed her. I wish I could say something, but I’m worried bringing it up would make her feel worse.

Are my parents going to end up like this, too? I’m not sure where their relationship stands. They haven’t been arguing, and the fact that they went shopping together yesterday gives me hope that everything is cool between them. But you never know.

After pouring potato chips and pretzels into a bowl and grabbing two cans of Coke, I climb up to Cruiser’s room. I expect him to be throwing more pencils at the ceiling or to be passed out from pure boredom, but he’s bent over the textbook and his notebook, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. That melts my heart. He really is a hardworking guy. No one sees or understands him like I do, except for Rey. He’s wonderful.

The floor creaks beneath my feet and his head springs up. He puts down his pencil and shoves the book away. “Yeah, I tried doing the problem, but I had enough of this.”

I place the snacks on his night table and sit down near him, pulling his work onto my lap so I can study it. “Cruiser.”

“Hmm?”

“You got it right!”

His eyes widen is surprise. “The hell?”

“Yeah!” I laugh, putting my arms around him. “You got it right.”

“Now we can make out.”

I giggle as his lips press soft kisses on my neck.

“Cruiser?”

“Mmm.”

“Are you okay? With your dad and everything?”

His lips freeze on my throat. He pulls back and looks at me. His eyes are so sad, hold so much pain. I lay my head on his chest. “Talk to me.”

“I’m okay.”

I raise my head and touch his cheek. “You don’t have to be strong in front of me.”

He puffs out some air. “Just sucks. I never thought Rey and I would be discussing when to hang out at my dad’s. I’ve seen the apartment when we helped him move in.”

“How is it? Is it far?”

“It’s pretty far. An hour away. The place is nice, though. It’s a quiet neighborhood. Peaceful.”

“You’ll spend the weekends there?”

“I don’t know.”

I lay my head on his shoulder and hold him tight. His arms close around me, and a few seconds later, I feel his lips on my shoulder. “What about Rey?” I ask. “How’s he doing?”

“Not taking the separation very well. He doesn’t know how to handle his emotions. I’m worried he might do something stupid.”

I’m learning to respect the fact that Cruiser will hold back some information regarding Rey. Just like I hope Cruiser doesn’t divulge secrets I’ve told him to Rey. I guess it’s part of Twin Code. I’m itching to ask him a million questions, but instead I say, “Just be there for him. He really looks up to you.”

“I know.”

He turns me around on his lap and wraps his arms around my stomach, digging his lips into the side of my neck. “How are you doing, T. Rex?”

“What do you mean?”

“With life. Anything bothering you?”

I stretch my neck to plant a kiss on his lips. “Thanks for asking. That’s so sweet of you. I’m okay. Just worried about Rosie.”

“How’s she doing?”

I swallow. “I’m not really sure. Jamie’s procedure is coming up in a few weeks. A part of me wants it to go well. It’d be so amazing if he can walk again. But then…I think the opposite, and I feel like such a bad person.”

He rubs circles on my neck with his lips. “You’re not a bad person. I understand where you’re coming from. If the procedure is a success and Jamie walks again, Rosie will be very depressed. And it would hurt you and your parents so much because you can’t do anything about it.”

“My dad is very against it.”

“Wouldn’t he consider it if it’s a success for Jamie?”

“I hope so.” I sigh. “There’s so much uncertainty and it scares me.”

He nuzzles my neck. “It’ll be okay, no matter the outcome. Rosie’s a strong kid. She’s been through hell and is such a fighter.”

Tears gather in my eyes. “She is.”

He kisses my cheek. “She’ll be okay. We’ll make sure she is.”

I hug him closer. “Thanks, Cruiser. You make me feel so much better.”

I grab the snack bowl and we dig in. Just like when we were kids, Cruiser bites the pretzels in funny shapes and numbers. I laugh. “Hey. What happened to Operation Get Rey a Girlfriend?”

Cruiser smiles. “An official name, huh? I honestly don’t know. I gave him Melody’s number, but haven’t heard anything. He seemed excited, though. Did she say anything?”

“No, but she kept glancing at me during class today like she wanted to ask me if something’s cooking but was too embarrassed.”

“Hmm. I’ll speak to him when I get home. The guy needs a girl.”

“I want to see Rey happy again.”

“Me too, darlin’.”

Cruiser

I’m trying to concentrate on my damn homework when I hear Mom’s shrills from downstairs.

I close my book and leave my room. Strain my ears. A part of me gets hopeful—that Mom’s yelling because Dad’s home. And if Dad’s home, he might stay. But the voice that shouts back isn’t Dad’s. It’s Rey’s.

I run down the steps. They’re in the kitchen. Orange juice is spilled on the floor, the carton in Mom’s hand. When she yelled at Rey in the past, his face would be pale as a sheet of paper. But he’s glaring at her, a defiant look burning in his eyes.

And his clothes. Damn, his clothes. Cut sleeves, ripped jeans. Fake tattoos.

But the worst of it is what’s in Mom’s hand. A container of pills.

“Elvis,” she says when I step in. The anger in her eyes can shoot me down like a laser beam. She thrusts out her palm like I’m responsible for that.

“It’s not mine,” I say.

“I know it’s not yours. But where did your brother get it from?”

I look at Rey. In the past, he’d communicate something to me through his eyes. Beg me to save him. And I would do anything to help him out. But I get now that protecting him is only hurting him. Rey’s going through something, and sweeping it under the rug won’t help squat. Maybe it’s about time I hand it over to Mom.

I just shrug.

“And the way you’re dressed! What’s going on with you, Reagan Dalton?”

“Nothing’s going on with me!” He marches to the fridge, pulls out a two-liter soda bottle, and drinks right out of it.

“Reagan!”

“Quit your nagging.”

My ears must be screwing with me. Rey never talks back to Mom. Maybe a tiny bit here and there when he loses it, but that’s not often.

“Rey,” I say. “Don’t be like that.”

“Mind you own business, Elvis.” He takes another swig from the bottle.

“I want you to change out of those clothes right now. And clean this mess on the floor.”

“Why should I clean it? You spilled it.”

“I was appalled at what you’re wearing! I can’t even stand to see the sight of you.”

It looks like she has tears in her eyes. I shift from one foot to the other. It doesn’t exactly make me feel good to see my mom cry.

“I’ll clean it up,” I offer.

Rey’s eyes shoot to mine. There’s humor in there. Contempt. Like he’s saying, “Oh look who’s the angel now.”

I’m not trying to be an angel. Rey’s really losing it. He’s out of control. We gotta stop this before he gets worse.

“I’m out of here.” Rey dumps the soda in the fridge and slams it shut.

“I want to speak to you,” I tell him.

“No, thanks.”

“I mean it, Rey. Meet me in your room.”

He presses his lips together. The vein on his forehead pounds. He rolls his eyes and storms up the stairs.

I grab the mop from the closet and clean the spilled orange juice. Mom stands by the counter, her shoulders heaving. I come up next to her. “You okay, Mom?”

She’s got tears in her eyes. “What’s going on with him? He quit Kelman’s, he’s failing school, he’s dressed like a drug addict.”

It’s not my place to tell. Or is it? All my life, I’ve been hiding my feelings from my parents. Never felt close to them or like it was safe to speak my mind. They’re not bad people. I’ve come to realize that. Mom’s a strong woman, a leader. Dad’s a follower. That’s the way they are. All I got to do is learn how to talk to them. If I would have understood that years ago, I might not have felt such bitterness toward them.

But I don’t know what to tell Mom. What Rey’s going through, he needs to figure out how to deal with it. Maybe he’s the one who needs to tell Mom. If I tell her for him, it’ll only take away his responsibility. Like Lex said, I can’t take care of him for the rest of my life.

“I’ll go talk to him, okay?”

She nods, her shoulders still heaving.

Rey’s sitting at his desk when I enter his room. Earbuds in his ears, eyes on his computer screen. I know he sees me but pretends not to.

“Hey,” I say as gently I can.

He ignores me.

“You should tell her what happened at Kelman’s.”

His eyes flash to mine. “Go to hell.”

I move closer. “Take out your earbuds. We need to talk.”

He scoffs. “I’m not your girlfriend. We don’t ‘need to talk.’”

“Rey, quit being a—”

“What? A dick? I think it suits me well. Don’t you?”

“I was going to say a selfish, spoiled brat. Shit happens in life, Rey. Lots of shit. You’re old enough to know that.”

He rolls his eyes.

“All your life, things have been easy for you. Mom and Dad were crazy about you. Favored you. Always pushed me aside to shower praises on you. You can’t imagine how hard that was for me growing up.”

“Oh, poor baby.”

“Then the accident happened. Because of me, a little girl can’t walk again.”

He yanks the earbuds out. “Will you stop taking the blame for the accident? It wasn’t your fault. It was Lex’s. It was her responsibility to look after Rosie. Not yours. How long are you going to protect her?”

“I distracted her.”

“Whatever. Take the blame. I don’t give a shit.”

I run my hand down my face. “My point is that life’s not always easy. You screwed up at Kelman’s. It happens. Doesn’t mean you have to lash out at Mom. She’s going through a lot right now and we need to do what we can to make this easier—”

Laughing like a maniac, he gets to his feet. “I can’t believe this. You’re telling me to look after Mom? Look what she’s done to us all our lives. Controlled us, made us kill ourselves learning to play the violin and—”

“Stop making an issue out of nothing. Mom’s been a good mom. She loves you. She loves me, too.”

He clenches his jaw.

“She did what she thought was best. You’re pissed at yourself for what happened at Kelman’s. You feel like a failure. Instead of sticking with it and trying your damn hardest to prove you belong there, you were a coward and quit. You can’t go around taking this out on the people you care about. You’ll drive us away. You gotta man up and take responsibility for your actions. I’m not going to protect you forever.”

I turn around and enter my room.

Rey knocks into me from behind and hurls me to the floor. Punches me in the ribs. I throw him off me using my legs and get to my feet. “Stop it!”

“You think you’re some saint, don’t you?” He rams into me, but I dodge. He knocks into my desk. “Think you can be the perfect son because I’m the rebel.” He aims for my face, but I catch his wrist and push him away. He tumbles to the floor and scrambles to his feet. “How do you like it? Taking a walk on the good side? Makes you feel good, doesn’t it? To have Mom talk to you like you’re a decent human being?”

“Rey, shut—”

“She fills you up with so many hopes and dreams. Then when you face the real world, it all comes crashing down. She built you up to be the best violin player in the world. Made you believe you were as good as she claims. But it was lies. All lies. You’re nothing more than shit!”

He launches at me with so much force, I lose my balance and we crash down. Something clatters to the floor and cracks. Glass shatters everywhere. Gets all over my body, cutting into my skin.

We both sit up. That’s when I see it. My cruiser ship. In pieces on the floor.

Rey scampers to his feet. “God, Cruise. I didn’t mean…”

My ship. My cruiser ship. Broken. Destroyed. Gran and Gramps bought it for me six years ago. Was a rare edition. Something that can’t be replaced.

Tears get into my eyes. I blink them back.

Rey drops down to the floor near the pieces. “I’m so sorry, Cruise. I didn’t mean…I didn’t…”

It’s destroyed. Can’t be replaced. Lex just bought a new case. Now it’s all over my carpet.

“M-maybe we can fix it.” Rey reaches for the pieces.

“Don’t touch it.”

He raises his eyes to me. He’s got tears in them, too. “I didn’t mean…”

“Leave.”

“Cruise—”

“Just leave.”

He stays there for a few seconds. Eyes on me. Then he gets up and heads for the door. I feel him look back at me, but I’ve got my gaze on my ship.

Once he’s gone, I fall to my knees. Stare at the shards of glass, the blood on my hands and arms. I can’t look at it. I can’t believe it. It was okay only three minutes ago.

My chest contracts and expands like a balloon. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. Count to ten. I drag myself over to my cruiser ship. What’s left of it.

I grab an empty shoebox from my closet. Carefully, I gather the pieces and place them inside. I try to get every last bit. Like I’m keeping every part of its soul. Some pieces are under my bed, my dresser, my desk.

When I get all of it, I shove the shoebox into my closet.