Finally the drawbridge dropped into place. They made the long way across.
Where are they? asked Strabo.
Crap, said Fox. Take a look behind the zombies.
I don’t see anyone, said Petey.
Not the movie stars. Your Abby clone.
Slow down, said Strabo. Impatient youngsters!
The woman in green lay on her back behind the zombies, staring up at the sky.
A goner, said Fox.
Where are Lerner and Lowe? asked Strabo.
Who?
The thrill-killers. I don’t want them coming after me.
Gone, said Fox. We should be too.
The woman’s purse lay open on the pavement, leaking its contents, just as her throat had done.
I’m taking the cell phone, said Fox.
No! They can trace us with that, said Strabo. Did the scoundrels liberate her wallet?
Black leather lay in the shadows of a statue. Fox picked it up.
Address book.
Why are we still standing here? asked Petey.
Hell, you’re right. Let’s get up to the woods.
You’re the hero, dear boy, said Strabo. You should have saved her.
It’s them.
Who? asks Fox.
Whom
, says Strabo.
Widmark and Mineo, goddamnit. Across Fremont, in front of the music store.
The two stand in front of Dusty Strings. The tall blond bounces to a beat unrelated to the harp music playing through the speakers. His partner’s hands are stuffed deep into his black raincoat.
You see them? asks Petey.
Yeah, yeah, says Fox. They’re real.
But highly improbable, says Strabo. Returning to the scene of the crime?
You called it for once, old man, says Fox. They’re thrill-killers and this is part of the freaking thrill. They were probably around the corner, watching the cops clean up their mess.
Screw it, says Petey, and starts across the street.
Get back here! Are you nuts?
Sure.
Petey strolls through traffic without even noticing it. Cars honk, but he ignores them.
He stops in front of the movie stars. Fox and Strabo are nowhere in sight. Big help, as usual.
You want something? asks Widmark.
Why’d you do it?
They stare at him. He looks back, poker-faced, though he feels like he’s gonna puke.
Mineo backs up to the wall. Widmark just frowns. Do what?
Kill that girl.
Jesus, says Mineo, wide-eyed.
Widmark grabs Petey by the sleeve and pulls him closer, making a face at the smell. What the hell are you talking about?
You cut her throat. I saw you.
Sweet mother of God, says Mineo, and now
he
looks like he’s gonna puke.
Listen, you freak, says Widmark. You can get in a lot of trouble making up stuff like that. People will think you’re
nuts.
Just tell me why you did it, Richard.
Richard? He blinks. Who do you think I am?
Richard Widmark, says Petey. You were great in
Kiss of Death.
I hated the remake.
Sal Mineo laughs, high-pitched squeals.
Petey curses himself. He
knows
the blond guy isn’t the actor. But Fremont confuses him, tangles him in its fantasy world. He needs Fox and Strabo to tell him what’s real, and the cowards have turned tail.
You’re a whack job, says Mineo. No one will believe a word you say.
I’ve got her address book, says Petey.
That stops them for a moment.
So what? asks Widmark. That proves
you
killed her.
You thought it was her wallet, says Petey. You pulled it out of her purse and left it on the pavement. I’ll bet it’s got fingerprints.
The movie stars exchange a glance. I thought
you
had it, says Mineo.
Shut up, snaps Widmark. He looks around. The rain has given up and more people are on the street. He puts an arm lightly around Petey’s shoulders.
What’s your name?
Petey.
Okay, Petey. Let’s take a little walk and I’ll explain the whole thing.
He shrugs off the arm. I’m not going anywhere with you.
You’ve got us wrong, Petey. Whatever you think you saw—that woman had it coming. She was part of the problem.
Petey frowns. What do you mean?
Widmark chuckles. Think about it, Petey. Think of everything that’s gone wrong in your life. All the backstabbers, all the pointless crap that’s been dumped on you. You remember it?
I remember.
Well, she was the
reason
for it, Petey. Her and people like her. They’re the cause of all our troubles.
Widmark shrugs. But if you don’t want to know the truth…
Wait. Petey looks around but his friends are nowhere in sight. Damn it.
We can explain it all, but not in a crowd. Come with us, Petey.
Fox and Strabo would tell him to stay the hell away from these two, but they aren’t here, are they? Screw them.
Petey walks between the movie stars, while Widmark talks casually, easily, as if this were any old day. Nobody, nobody
sane
, has chatted with him like this, like friends, in a long, long time.
They turn right on 34th, heading away from the gray plaster zombies, the scene of the crime, and toward the paved path that runs beside the Ship Canal. All the time Petey looks over his shoulder for Fox and Strabo, but they are nowhere to be seen.
Okay, Petey, says Widmark, here’s the truth. That girl had to go because she was working for the bad guys.
What bad guys?
Widmark laughs. Come
on
, Petey. You’re a smart man. You already
know
who the troublemakers are, don’t you? Just say it.
Petey takes a deep breath. The movie stars are staring. He’s all alone, and suddenly terrified of giving the wrong answer.
Starbucks?
Mineo laughs again. He hides his face in his hands, shoulders jerking.
Shut
up
, says Widmark. This is serious. That’s exactly right, Petey. She was a spy for Starbucks.
Those bastards. They stole my wife.
Sounds just like them. But Petey, you have no idea what they’re
really
doing. He leans close, eyes narrow. They put drugs in their drinks to control us.
Yeah?
If only Fox and Strabo were here. They were never gonna believe this.
Do you drink their coffee, Petey?
I used to.
That’s what screwed your brain up, says Mineo. Java withdrawal.
Let me handle this, says Widmark. All the bad stuff that’s happened to you is Starbucks’ fault, Petey. All part of their
plot.
He’s stunned. It makes sense at a level logic never seemed to reach before.
That girl knew their plans, Petey. We asked her to help us but the bitch was gonna turn us in. It was self-defense, you see?
I guess so. Petey looks around again. They are deep in the dripping green heart of the trail now, and haven’t seen anyone for almost a block.
Good man. The shame of it is, she wouldn’t tell us what she knew. And she had the names and addresses of everyone in on the plot.
Widmark shakes his head sadly. Damn it, Petey. If we had those names we could catch them all. We could
stop
them!
I got their names! Petey reaches into his jacket and pulls out the black address book.
Bingo, says Mineo.
That’s all we need, says Widmark, grinning. Give it to Jerry.
Who?
Me, says Mineo, and grabs it. Do it now. This is perfect.
Petey looks back at Widmark, who has pulled a knife out of his jacket.
It’s time, Petey.
Wait a minute.
You can go quietly like a man, or squealing like a little girl. What do you choose?
What else’ve you got? asks Petey.
There’s no one in sight. This piece of the trail is blocked off from the canal by bushes and trees, and blocked from the street by—
What the hell is that?
Mineo looks and laughs. That’s a topiary dinosaur. A full-size brontosaurus made of plants. It’s gonna eat you up, Petey!
You buffoon, says Strabo. It’s an apatosaurus!
Where the hell have
you
been? asks Petey.
Who? asks Widmark, coming closer.
Run
now
! yells Fox.
Widmark swings and Petey raises his left arm. The knife cuts through his jacket, slices into his forearm. It hurts like hell.
Grab him! shouts Widmark, but Mineo sees the blood and hesitates.
Swing the fruit! yells Fox, and Petey grabs one of Mineo’s skinny arms with both bloody hands and spins like a discus thrower. The movie stars collide and tumble to the pavement. The knife and address book go flying.
Run, boy!
Petey runs. He used to jog this trail, back when he lived in a funky apartment on Bowdoin, back before his mind betrayed him, when he had a job and a life.
You still got a life, says Fox, but not if they catch you. Step on it!
You need a bandage, lad. Use your coat.
Petey tears off his jacket and wraps it around his bleeding arm. That helps. He’s still on the trail, which heads down and finally under the bridge.
We need crowds, says Fox. Go left!
Petey turns up Evanston Avenue. The movie stars had stopped for the knife and the book, but he can hear them on his track now.
On the hunt, says Strabo, and sings again.
Oh how will you cut him, said Milder to Moulder
Oh we may not tell you, said Festel to Fose
With knives and with forks, said John the Red Nose
With knives and with forks, said everyone…
The movie stars are gasping. They haven’t run this hill route a thousand times like he has, before the world went to hell.
Petey’s laughing, because this is really happening. There
was
a goddamned dinosaur made of plants. There really
is
a giant rocket on top of that building on the corner.
I’m not insane. I’m just in goddamned Fremont.
He dodges a bus on 36th Street and staggers to a halt.
Keep going! yells Fox. What’s wrong with you?
A man stands in front of him, twenty feet tall. The familiar face scowls down from under his cap.
He’s crazy
, says Lenin.
That’s what’s wrong with him.
Petey can’t move, caught in the big man’s glare.
It’s just freaking Lenin! screams Fox. The statue they brought from Russia! You’ve seen it a thousand times!
Now hold on, says Strabo. It doesn’t make sense, does it? Why would anyone put up a monument to a dead Communist in the middle of this merchant kingdom? No, I’d say the lad is delusional.
Out of his capitalist mind
, says Lenin, and somebody hits Petey from behind. He slams into the base of the statue and bangs his head.
He rolls over on the plaza tiles and Widmark lands on top of him. Petey sees the knife going up but his left hand is tangled in his jacket. He can’t stop the blade.
Freeze!
Widmark stops, looks up. He slides off and drops the knife.
Thank god you’re here, officer! This man just confessed to murder.
Get away from him, says the cop, who looks a little like Matt Damon.
It’s true, says Mineo. He told us he killed a woman near the bridge last night.
Damon’s eyes widen. He’s heard about the dead woman.
Is that true?
I didn’t kill anybody, says Petey.
They
did it. You saw them attack me.
We took the knife away from him, says Widmark.
Ask him why she died, says Mineo.
The cop is frowning, not sure where to point the gun. Why’d she die, sir?
Be silent, boy, says Strabo, but Petey can’t help himself.
She was a spy. For Starbucks.
See? says Mineo.
Petey shakes his head, trying to clear it. They attacked me by the dinosaurs. Then I came up here, past the rocket, and saw Lenin.
Damon nods. You were attacked by a dinosaur and came here by rocket. Was that after you killed the woman?
Dear, dear, says Strabo. The constable’s not from around here.
Damon has his handcuffs in one hand, gun in the other. Put your hands on your… What happened to your arm?
He’s afraid you’ll get his cuffs bloody. Har har.
Your honor, says Strabo, my client pleads not guilty by season of inanity.
Petey falls back on the tiles. He’s crying.
You’re under arrest
, says Lenin.
The detective is Bill Cosby, except his hair is gray and he has a thin mustache. He is scowling and Petey figures it is because he’s only a TV star and the movie stars outrank him.
Mr. Gottesman, he says, you say you saw those two men following Ms. Mantello, but you didn’t do anything about it.
I was scared. Did you see him in
Night and the City?
Who?
Petey explains about Richard Widmark. Cosby frowns more. Mr. Gottesman, where do you think you are right now?
Petey looks around. I’m sitting at a patio table in a Mexican-style plaza in the middle of Seattle. Dozens of tourists are watching me. I’m handcuffed to an umbrella, staring at Lenin’s giant butt, while a medic patches up my arm and a cop interrogates me. How much of that is real?
Cosby shrugs. All of it.
Petey repeats something Fox had said before disappearing again. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean there aren’t two men chasing you with a knife.
The detective thinks that one over. He looks at the movie stars standing on the other side of the plaza by the taco shop, talking to Matt Damon.
You said Ms. Mantello was a spy for a coffee company.
They
told me that.
Cosby sighs.
Okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re still under arrest. We’re gonna take you to the hospital to get that arm looked at. Then I think a judge will order an examination—
No hospitals, says Fox. They wipe your freaking memory there. You know that.
Think
, Petey, says Strabo. Make him see the truth and the truth will set us free!
Listen, Bill, says Petey, I followed that woman because she looked like Abby, my ex-wife. I didn’t go near those guys because they scared me. But I didn’t kill her, and when it happened I couldn’t get near them because of the drawbridge.