Searching for Harmony: A Boston Love Novel (5 page)

Grabbing her and pulling her to me, I said, “Don’t talk about her like that.”

Sherry’s mouth dropped open. “I knew it. You’re attracted to her. You sick son of a bitch. What do you want to do, Preston? Give her a courtesy fuck? Maybe if you can fuck her, it will help with the fact that you couldn’t save her son.”

I dropped her arm and took a step back. The pain that shot through my chest about brought me to my knees. Shaking her head, Sherry stepped up to me. “Shit. Preston, I didn’t mean any of that, I just—”

Looking into Sherry’s eyes, everything was clear. This relationship was nothing more than a joke. I had settled into it,s thinking it was what I wanted. Sherry was not what I wanted. I wanted someone to look at me like I was their everything, their entire life.

“Stop. Sherry, this isn’t working.” Motioning between us, I kept talking. “This thing between us, it hasn’t been working for months.”

Letting out a gruff laugh, Sherry placed her hands on her hips. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Pushing my hand through my hair, I said, “I’m not sure, but I think it’s probably best if you move out. I’m not going through a very good time right now and you deserve someone who wants the things you want.”

Dropping her mouth open, Sherry stared at me. “You’re breaking up with me, Preston? Um…no. I don’t think so. I’ve invested my time into this damn relationship, patiently waiting for you to give me a ring. You are not breaking things off between us.”

“Sherry, that’s just it. I should want to walk into a store and buy you a ring and place it on your finger, but I don’t. I’ve stood and stared at rings for hours and my heart has never once told me it is the path I want to take.”

Tears filled her eyes. “This is because of her. You feel guilty so you’re pushing me away to be with her.”

Shaking my head, I let out a sigh. “This has nothing to do with Harmony and everything to do with the fact that you want things I don’t, Sherry. Things I’m never going to want with you.”

Laughing, she placed her hands on my chest and gave me a push. “You are a complete douchebag. Do you know that? My mother told me I was crazy for dating a lowlife like you. You’ll never get anywhere, Preston. You’re content in your mediocre life and your job that makes you feel like a hero. Well, fuck you, Preston Ward.”

Pushing past me, she walked off, but not before turning around and saying, “By the way, six months into our relationship, I slept with one of the guys at the firehouse. He stopped by and took care of things while you were in Seattle. Best fuck I’ve ever had.”

My heart dropped to my stomach, but I couldn’t lie and say I was surprised. I’d had a feeling Sherry and Richards had hooked up. I saw it in their faces every time they were near each other.

Walking up to her, I looked into her eyes. “You just made this so much easier, Sherry.”

Harmony had passed out almost immediately after she sat down in my car. I prayed silently she wouldn’t throw up in my fairly new Subaru BRZ. Glancing over at Harmony sleeping, I let out a chuckle. Luckily, I had asked Jake where Harmony’s new place was. Before we left, Sandy made sure to let me know she was happy I had broken things off with Sherry.

“She’s a user, Preston. You were the only person who didn’t see it.”

As I drove to Harmony’s house, I thought back through the two years of my relationship with Sherry. It was all nothing but a joke, and that I hadn’t seen it earlier just pissed me the hell off.

Harmony let out a snore that caused me to jump. Chuckling, I pulled up to a giant Victorian house that was marked with her address.

“Holy shit,” I whispered as I remembered Jake telling me to pull down the alley behind the house. There was a parking spot that was Harmony’s even though she’d sold her car. I was impressed she was able to find a place on Comm Avenue that had parking. Cars, parking, and downtown Boston didn’t go hand in hand at all.

Putting my car in park, I peeked over at Harmony. She was sleeping so peacefully, I almost didn’t want to wake her up. For some reason, I was scared to death to carry her into her house.

Chill the hell out, Ward. You’re just bringing her home. That’s it. Nothing more can ever come from this.

Opening up the passenger-side door, I smiled as I pushed a piece of hair behind Harmony’s ear. She smiled as she opened her eyes, and I knew in that moment I was done for.

Yep. I’m totally fucked.

My head was pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up, but something about the way Preston was looking at me made my insides warm up. He reached in and scooped me up into his arms. He frowned as he kicked his door shut.

“You’re not eating, Harmony,” he whispered as I buried my face in his strong, broad chest. I’d never had anyone take care of me like this and I didn’t want to think for one minute that Preston was only doing this because he felt guilty.

As he walked up to the door with me in his arms, I managed to dig the keys out of my purse. “Preston, I can stand up, honestly. I’m not that drunk.”

“Just open the door, Harmony, and let’s get you inside. It’s cold out.”

It was October and it was unseasonably warm out, so why he said it was cold was beyond me. Giggling, I reached over and pushed the key in and opened the door. Walking into the foyer, Preston shook his head as he looked up the stairs.

“Fuck,” he whispered. “Of course it would be a walk-up.”

Climbing up the stairs, Preston stopped at the top and looked for a light. That’s when I realized he had me in his arms yet again.

“I’m in your arms again, Preston.”

Letting out a chuckle, he said, “I know. This is becoming a habit, Ms. Banks.”

Laughing, I was about to say something when Preston took a few steps forward and tripped and yelled out, “Shit! Harmony!”

Spinning around, Preston twisted so that he landed first. I ended up lying on top of him laughing hysterically. Then I realized my body was up against his body and I liked how it felt. Oh boy, did I like how it felt. Pushing off him, I attempted to stand up. “Oh my goodness! Are you okay?”

Lying on the floor, Preston moaned in pain. “What in the hell did I land on?”

Deciding I wanted to have a little bit of fun, I let out a gasp and shouted, “My cat! Are you on my cat?”

Flying up, Preston’s head hit something and he yelled out again. “Shit!”

Managing to get over to the lights, I flipped them on. Laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face. This feeling of being tipsy was something new and I wasn’t sure I liked how being drunk made me feel. But I was laughing and I hadn’t really laughed in months.

Oh my. Look how cute he looks spinning around as he looks for a nonexistent cat.

“Did I land on it?”

“On what?” I asked as I fell onto the sofa and kept laughing as Preston kept looking around my place.
Oh man. The room is spinning.

“Harmony, have you even unpacked?”

Wiping my tears away, I pointed at Preston. “You should have seen your face when I said you landed on my cat. I don’t even have a cat!” Wrapping my arms around my waist, I attempted to stop laughing.

Sitting down on the chair opposite the sofa, Preston laughed. “I’m glad I amuse you.”

Pulling my knees up, I rested my chin and looked at Preston. “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. It felt good.”

Giving me a sexy-as-hell wink, Preston spoke softly. “Good. I’m glad my clumsiness, or your lack of unpacking, rather, caused you to laugh.”

Brushing him off with my hand, I giggled, “Oh, it has nothing to do with my lack of unpacking.”

Turning and pointing to the row of shoeboxes that were lined up at the front door, Preston asked, “How many damn pairs of shoes do you own?”

My heart began to get that familiar ache as I shrugged my shoulders. “I went on a shoe shopping spree. Trey said he never liked seeing me in heels. Said it made other guys want to look at my legs. Once I found out he had been cheating on me…I kind of went shoe crazy.”

Preston’s face moved from happy to sad in an instant. “What? Trey cheated on you?”

Tears filled my eyes as I looked away. “I think he was about to tell me right before the accident. He said he had to tell me something and my phone rang, we argued and…well…anyway. After the accident, I went up to his office to get some personal things and I found his play drawer he used with his secretary.”

“Holy shit,” Preston whispered.

Letting out a gruff laugh, I nodded. “Yeah. That was my reaction, too. The best part of all this, she was a girl we went to high school with.” Throwing my hands up in the air and letting out a frustrated moan, I stood up. Well, I stood up and then stumbled forward. “Ugh, it’s a long story and one I don’t feel like talking about. I’ve had too much fun tonight.”

Preston jumped up and caught me before I fell over. I didn’t want to admit to myself how much I liked being in his arms. My blue eyes met his green and I found myself wanting to know more about Preston Ward.

“Preston,” I whispered and then hiccupped rather loudly.

His smile melted my heart and I pushed away from him. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Swallowing hard, Preston took a few steps away from me. Ha! I had to have some damn aura around me that told guys to keep away. My own husband didn’t even want me.

Pushing his hand through his hair, Preston tried to talk. “Um…Harmony, I should probably—”

Narrowing my eyes at him, I pushed him hard on the chest. “I don’t want to sleep with you, asshole. I just don’t want to be alone. When I’m alone I think about them both. Even the dick that cheated on me.”

Preston’s body relaxed and a small part of me was disappointed to know that Preston didn’t desire me. Turning, I stumbled back to the sofa and fell face forward on it while letting out a long, drawn-out moan.

Feeling his hands on my body, I smiled. “Where’s your room, Harmony?”

Placing my hand on the side of his face as he lifted me, I licked my lips and said, “You’re cute, Preston.”

Laughing, he winked at me and said, “You’re kind of cute, too, Harmony.”

Smiling, I felt my eyes closing. “You’re more than cute. You’re very, very cute.”

Preston chuckled as he whispered, “And you’re beautiful. Now where is your room, princess?”

Smiling at the sweet endearment, I said, “It’s on the next floor. Last door on the left.”

Snuggling my face into his chest, I took in a deep breath while I felt Preston’s chest vibrate when he moaned, “More damn stairs.”

“Mommy? Mommy, it’s dark and I’m all alone. Please come get me.”

Standing in the dark hallway, I felt along the wall. “TJ! Baby, Mommy is coming for you!”

“Mommy! It hurts. It hurts, Mommy!”

“TREY!” I screamed as I ran in the dark until I came to a door.

“Mommy! Help me…please.”

Throwing the door open, I sucked in a breath of air as I saw Trey’s body lying on the ground. Looking away, I saw TJ.

“No!” I screamed as I ran over to him and pulled him into my arms. “Please, God, don’t take him. Please!”

Darkness swept over the room and I couldn’t see a thing. The pain. The pain was so strong.

“Harmony!”

TJ slipped from my arms as I screamed out his name. “TJ, no, please don’t leave me!”

“Harmony, please wake up. Harmony!”

Snapping my eyes open, I saw his eyes. The eyes that should haunt my dreams, yet did just the opposite. They calmed me almost instantly. Sitting up, I threw myself into Preston’s arms.

“You…you were dreaming and you screamed,” Preston said as he held me tightly. Inhaling deeply, I fought like hell to keep my tears at bay.

“Nightmare,” I whispered.

Pulling back, Preston searched my face. “Do you have them often?”

Shaking my head, I pulled my eyes from his. “No. At first I had the same dream every night. Now it’s about once a week.”

Preston closed his eyes and then scrubbed his hands down his face.

“You stayed?” I asked as I took him in. Holy moly. He didn’t have a shirt on.
Look away, Harmony. Count to twenty and look away.

I attempted to focus on anything other than his chest and amazingly fit abs.
Jesus, Harmony. Get a grip on yourself.
Risking another peek, I turned slightly and moved my eyes over Preston’s fit body quickly.

Preston slowly stood up and I forced my betraying bitch of a body to keep my feelings deep inside.

“Do you want me to leave, Harmony? I will if you’d rather be alone. It’s just…you asked me to stay last night and I didn’t want you to be upset if you woke up and I was gone. Of course, you could be upset that I stayed.”

Frowning, Preston shook his head and turned around as he headed out the door. Pursing my lips together, I kept my giggle suppressed. “Preston, please don’t leave. It’s five in the morning.”

He must have noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt, probably from the cold draft that blew through this old house. Or because I was eyeing him up and down…again.

“Shit, let me go get a shirt on.” Spinning on his heels, Preston disappeared.

Pushing the covers off me, I noticed I was in a T-shirt and sweats. I wondered if I had changed into these clothes or if Preston had changed me. God, I hoped I’d changed myself. I was pretty sure I hadn’t shaved under my arms in two weeks.

Rolling my eyes, I walked out of my bedroom and leaned over the railing. Closing my eyes briefly, I let out a sigh.
Oh Lord, do I feel like crap.
My head was pounding and my mouth tasted like a bar. I think my drinking days are over, before they even really got started. “Preston? I’m going to jump in the shower. I feel like shit and my mouth tastes worse.”

He appeared before my eyes as he looked up at me. “How about I make you some breakfast?”

Laughing, I brushed him off and said, “Ha! If you can find food in this house and make a meal out of it, I’ll spend the entire day doing what you want to do.”

Winking at me, Preston said, “Deal.”

Smiling weakly, I turned and headed back into my bedroom and to the master bathroom. Turning on the hot water, I stripped out of my clothes and walked into the shower. Letting the water move across my body, I let out the breath I hadn’t even realized I had been holding in. Moving my face into the water, I made a decision. These feelings that I was feeling…these confusing feelings…I was going to push them away and lock them somewhere deep down inside. My husband and child had just died a few months ago and I was drooling over another man.

Placing my hands over my face, I leaned against the shower wall and slowly slid down as I cried.

After a few minutes of sobbing, I looked up.
I’ve never done this before. I’ve never experienced these feelings about anyone other than Trey. The way I’m feeling about Preston is ten times stronger and it is confusing the hell out of me. Please…please just make the pain go away.
Burying my face in my hands again, my body shook as sobs rolled through me. “I’m so scared. Please help me.”

Please, God. Please
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