Read Screwups Online

Authors: Jamie Fessenden

Screwups (12 page)

“Don’t forget the ‘Are you regimental?’ dare,” Eva pointed out. “If someone goads you into it, you’re allowed to deliberately flash. But only your butt.”

“Oh yeah,” Tara agreed. “Deliberate dick flashes are highly inappropriate.”

Jake shook his head. “That’s fucked up.”

Danny was laughing so hard he flopped down onto his back on the futon. When he’d calmed down enough to speak, he said, “You don’t have to wear the kilt, Jake. We’ll find something else for you.”

Karl looked as if were about to protest, but before he could open his mouth, Jake went over to him and took the kilt out of his hands. “Fuck it. You guys all think I’m too chicken, so… fine. I’ll wear it.”

That was easy
, Danny thought.
I wonder what else I could accuse him of being too chicken to do?
He wouldn’t really do that, of course, but he knew the gears were already churning away in the sleazy recesses of Karl’s mind. The guy could be managed, if he was given clearly defined boundaries, but he’d take advantage of any openings. Danny would have to keep an eye on him or they’d be playing Truth or Dare soon.

“How do you wear it?” Jake asked.

Karl clapped his hands together gleefully. “You’re going to love this. First you strip naked. Then we all ogle your penis for about ten minutes. Then we wrap the kilt around you.”

“That sounds like fun,” Jake said wryly, but he didn’t seem particularly upset by Karl’s comment.

“I admit I added the leering at your private parts for my own benefit,” Karl confessed. “I suppose we can leave that out, just this once.”

“Thanks.”

Putting on the kilt did require Jake to get naked, though, and he didn’t seem to mind the fact that there were five other people in the room—two of them women. This particular type of kilt had to be laid out on the bed and accordioned up in the middle, since it was over six yards of fabric. Then Jake had to lie down on top of it, so Danny and Karl could wrap him up in it and cinch it around his waist with a belt. It wasn’t really a two-man job, but Danny was mostly trying to prevent Karl from finding an excuse to grope Jake during the whole process. He’d never minded Karl’s lecherous behavior when it was directed at
him
. It had even been flattering. But seeing it directed at Jake was really getting his feathers ruffled. Jake could probably take care of himself, but Danny still felt responsible for subjecting him to this harassment.

The kilt looked good on Jake, but it had a section that draped over one of his shoulders, and without a shirt he looked more like a caveman who’d just killed and skinned some enormous plaid beast than a medieval warrior.

“Hmm,” Karl said, regarding him critically, “I must have a poet shirt here somewhere.”

“Poet shirt?” Jake asked skeptically.

“It’s what they’re called. You don’t have to write poetry in it. It’s just a big, blousy white shirt.”

“Aren’t we getting a little off track from the whole ‘barbarian’ theme here? Do barbarians wear shirts?”

“Just say you’re a Scottish warrior, then,” Karl said, waving his objection aside. “You’ll thank me when you’re hacking your way through tree branches in December.”

He found a shirt in his closet that would fit Jake and tried to get him to take the kilt off again, so he could put the shirt on first. But Danny intervened.

“How about we just lower this part?” he asked, slipping the cloak part of the kilt off Jake’s shoulder. “Then you can just tuck the bottom of the shirt down into the kilt for now. Tomorrow you can put it on properly.”

But it was Jake who thwarted him by laughing and shimmying out of the lower part of the kilt. “Dude, if he wants to see my dick, he can see my dick. He’s gonna see it when we sleep anyway.”

“What?”

“Oh really?” Karl asked.

“Danny doesn’t have any underwear on—he never does—so he’s gonna have to sleep naked. And if he gets to, why shouldn’t I? I always do in our dorm room.”

“Indeed.” It couldn’t have been lost on Karl—or anyone else in the room—that Jake was starting to get aroused.

Paul moaned. “All right, that is
way
more information than I needed, and I don’t need to see that thing jutting out at me again. Can we please get him back into some clothing?”

“I think maybe your friend’s had a little too much mead,” Tara suggested, eyeing Jake with amusement.

Danny shook his head as he helped Karl pull the shirt down over Jake’s head and shoulders and then try to pull it down over his growing erection. “No. He just gets like this sometimes.” It was pretty clear to him that being naked in a room full of people
really
got Jake turned on. And as Danny had begun to learn, when Jake got turned on, his judgment got a little cloudy.

They wrapped Jake up in the kilt again and this time he looked like a Scotsman—a damned sexy Scotsman. Which was in fact what he was. The outfit was declared a success by all in the room save Paul, who just wanted to go to bed. Since it was past 3:00 a.m. and they had to be up by nine, bed sounded like a good idea to everyone. Danny was still convinced that Karl might try to push Jake a little further, though. And the state he was in, Jake might let him.

The girls left the room, dragging a half-asleep Paul with them, and Danny got a moment alone with Jake while Karl went to the bathroom.

“Please tell me you aren’t going to take this any further tonight.”

Jake looked a little hurt by that. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s not exactly that there’s anything wrong,” Danny said as he pulled the kilt off Jake’s shoulder and helped him push the lower part down past his hips. “But… I think I know you well enough to see where this is going. You’ve got yourself all worked up again and you really want to get off. But you’re not really attracted to Karl, are you?”

“No.”

“Do you really want him going down on you?”

Jake sighed in frustration, pulling his arms out of the sleeves of the poet shirt. “You’ve fucked around with him, haven’t you?”

“Yes. A couple times.”

“And if I wasn’t here, you’d be fucking him right now.”

“Maybe.”

Jake stepped out of the mass of material pooled around his feet and pulled the shirt over his head, leaving him standing there stark naked again and beautiful, his cock jutting out from his body in all its horny splendor. “So I’m kind of in the way,” he said. “But maybe the three of us….” He trailed off, as if he didn’t really know where he was going with that.

But Danny knew. And he didn’t like it.

“Jake,” he said, stepping closer. “Karl’s not horrible. He’s a decent guy, when you get past the lecherous comments. But do you really want your first time to be a three-way with someone you really aren’t into?”

Jake looked directly into his eyes and Danny wondered if the mead was still affecting him, because he seemed to be sinking into those pools of aqua blue. “If you were there too,” Jake said. “I want my first time to be with you.”

Nothing in those words was a surprise, yet it still sent a ripple of warmth throughout Danny’s entire body, pooling in his chest and in his tightening crotch. Unable to stop himself, he pulled Jake close and kissed him hard on the mouth, delighting in the softness of those lips and the sweet taste of mead. Jake whimpered and crushed him in his powerful arms, holding Danny tight against his naked body. Danny held on to him, caressing the hot skin of Jake’s back with his hands.

But a tiny part of Danny’s brain was still aware enough to scream at him about what a bad idea it would be to start fucking on Karl’s bed. Karl probably wouldn’t mind, of course, but he’d want to join in. And Danny wasn’t in the mood to share.

He pushed Jake away, gently but firmly. “I want to be your first. But not here and not with Karl coming along for the ride. Let’s hold off until we’re back in the dorm.”

Jake actually growled at that, low and quiet and deep in his chest, like an animal. “As soon as we’re back in the dorm. You promise?”

“I promise.”

Chapter Fifteen

 

K
ARL
DIDN

T
seem at all happy about both Jake and Danny claiming to be too tired for anything sexual, even though they were both naked when they got into bed and there wasn’t any way for them to hide their erections. He offered to give them both blowjobs—which Jake had to admit was tempting—but Danny said “no thanks,” and Jake backed him up. He knew he’d be insanely jealous of anyone going down on Danny in front of him anyway.

But God, he was horny!

A much bigger deal than his throbbing cock, however, was the fact that Danny had kissed him! It was the first time he’d ever been kissed. Things had never gotten there with Tom, even though Jake had fantasized about it. He’d always thought another man’s lips would be hard, like muscle, and dry. But not at all. Danny’s lips were full and warm and incredibly soft, like satin. And the mead they’d just drunk made his mouth taste sweet and faintly of honey. It had been… beautiful. One of the most beautiful things Jake had ever experienced. He would have written a poem about it, if he had the ability to string two words together in any artistic way. Or a song, if he had any musical talent. Maybe he could sketch Danny’s mouth….

Even more amazing than his kiss was his promise.
I want to be your first.
God, it was going to be nearly impossible to wait. They had all day tomorrow to get through and then the car ride back to UNH. It would be excruciating.

Danny allowed him to slide up behind as they lay in Karl’s bed, curling the front of his body up against the back of Danny’s, pressing his swollen cock against Danny’s naked ass and draping his arm around Danny’s waist. It did nothing to ease the tension in his groin, but it felt wonderful nevertheless. He lay there for what felt like hours, unable to sleep, but eventually he must have dozed off, because he suddenly woke to a pulsing sensation in his cock and realized he was coming—all over Danny’s ass and legs.

Shit. I’m such a fucking loser!

His hope that Danny might sleep through it were dashed when Danny moaned and whispered, “Oh fuck. Are you awake?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“It would be really hot, if it weren’t like four in the morning.”

Then, just to make matters worse, Karl said from the other side of the bed, “Why the fuck are you two having a conversation at this hour?” He sounded groggy and irritable, as well he should be.

Danny didn’t say anything, perhaps not wanting to embarrass Jake, but Jake decided he might as well man up. “I, uh… I just had a wet dream.”

“Jesus. Are you like thirteen years old?”

“Adults do it too,” Danny defended him. “Can we just find something to mop it up before it gets ice-cold?”

Grumbling, Karl turned on the lamp beside the futon, which made them all flinch. “Sleeping next to the biggest come whore in New England—me—and he wastes it by spewing it all over the bed sheets.” He rummaged around in a pile of dirty laundry, while Jake slipped out of the bed and held the sheets aside so Danny could get up without rubbing the mess all over them.

“Would you like to lick it off my ass?” Danny asked Karl.

“Tempting, but I’ll pass.”

Jake stood there, hugging himself in the chilly early morning air while Karl wiped Danny’s ass and between his thighs with a dirty shirt. He felt utterly pathetic and wished he could curl up in a fetal position under a pile of blankets and never come out again. His face must have been completely red—he could feel the heat in his cheeks.

“I suppose you were dreaming about a woman with enormous tits while you were hosing down your roommate’s ass?” Karl asked him.

Jake shook his head. “I don’t know what I was dreaming about.”

“Stop picking on him, Karl.” Now that he was dry, Danny knelt down on the futon to examine the sheets. “There’s a little wet spot, but it’ll dry. Let’s just get back to bed.”

Karl tossed the shirt back onto the laundry pile, and they all climbed back under the sheets. When the light was off again, Jake lay on his back, afraid to spoon Danny again and feeling like a complete ass. But then Danny rolled back toward him and said over his shoulder, “You can go back to cuddling.”

“Thanks.” Jake rolled onto his side and pulled him back into his arms, reveling in the warmth of Danny’s back and ass against his front. He sighed contentedly and breathed in the clean smell of Danny’s hair. Danny wasn’t mad at him and was back in his arms. Life was good again.

From the other side of the bed came Karl’s quietly sarcastic voice. “Yeah, all straight guys like to cuddle with their male roommates. It’s totally butch.”

 

 

T
HE
LARP
event was held in a nearby state park. This particular event was actually being put on by the Shire of Griffinmyre, so Karl’s household was in charge of it, which meant Danny and his friends were more or less on their own. The Griffinmyre people were far too busy watching over things to babysit the newbies. Other participants were friendly and helpful, but Danny soon discovered the gamers were loath to drop out of character. This made finding things in-game, such as the location of an inn or a place to get spell components easy enough, but asking for clarification of the rules or other out-of-character information could prove challenging. When they found themselves standing around feeling helpless at the beginning of the game, finding someone who could tell them where they were expected to go took far too long.

Being out in the woods was nice. The weather was beautiful and still fairly warm despite the fact that it was officially December. Because it was a state park, the gamers had to contend with “mundanes”

ordinary people not participating in the game—as they walked along the paths, and the Griffinmyre people were adamant about not pissing anybody off if they ever wanted to game in that park again. But for the most part, the woods were crawling with people in medieval/fantasy garb, and that was really cool. In that way, the immersive element was everything Danny, Eva, and Paul had hoped for.

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