"Stop being a worry wart," she emphasized.
Not wanting to waste any more of my own time. I hurried upstairs and got into my homework again. I didn't want to do another poor job and have Mrs. Morgan scowl at me and give me a poor grade. If I worked hard. I thought, maybe I would have time to read another of Ian's letters before
I
went to sleep. As long as Alanis remained with Great-aunt Frances watching television. I could return to Grandmother Emma's bedroom and take them out of the closet.
However, the schoolwork took longer than I expected again. and I was so tired that I lowered my chin to my hands, propped up on my elbows. I nearly fell asleep at my desk. I opened my eyes when I heard Alanis enter the bedroom. She stood there smiling at me.
"Guess what?"
"What?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. She held up a key.
"What's that?"
"I asked your great-aunt a lot of questions about the house and she gave away where the old keys to things were kept. They were in a bottom drawer in the food pantry."
"So what's that key for?"
"I was right about that locked door. It does open to the stairway that goes up to the attic, and this is the key to that door," she said. adding. "which may lead us to our new clubhouse."
"How do you know that's the key?"
"I tried it and the door unlocked. I came to get you before I went up. C'mon."
I started to shake my head.
"What?" she demanded. She frowned and put her hands on her hips. "You're not going to start on that ghost thing again, are you? Well?"
"No, but--"
"But nothing. I'm going up there to check it out. You coming or not?"
It was just like that telepathy thing Ian had written about in his letter.
I could hear his voice.
"No," he was saying. "Don't open that door."
.
Alanis couldn't understand my reluctance. "C'mon," she pleaded. "Your great-aunt will be
downstairs for a long time yet. Who knows what we'll find? Maybe all that money that's hidden here is hidden up there. Whatever it looks like up there, we might be able to fix it up for ourselves to use instead of the basement. And we won't tell anyone else about it. even Nikki or Raspberry, until we both decide to tell. okay? It will just be our secret place, a place for just you and me."
I didn't move, and she grimaced, her hands on her hips.
"Don't you want to have fun? I'm living here with you to have more fun and I thought you'd like that. Well?" she asked, the ire in her eves reminding me of her mother's eyes.
"Okay," I said, closing my books. But we better not stay up there long. And what if it's dark? And--"
"And, and, and... you sound like some old lady. Darkness, ghosts," she said, laughing at me. "I checked. The switch worked and the lights to on up there. The ghosts will hide. C'mon," she urged and started down the hallway, still laughing to herself.
I thought if anything was funny, it was that we were still wearing the Chinese dresses. As we passed Grandmother Emma's room. I looked longingly through the doorway at the closet. In my mind Ian was standing inside it, calling to me, waiting for me to open the closet door.
She opened the attic door and turned to me. "See? This is the key."
She flipped the light switch. I was surprised at how brightly the light lit the stairway and everything above. The stairway wasn't just an ordinary wooden step stairway for an attic either. It had dark gray carpeting, and the carpeting looked better than the carpeting on the main stairway in the house. There were ten steps to the top with no banister. Alanis glanced at me, excitement lighting her eyes, then started up. I followed slowly, half-listening for Greataunt Frances below, Our stealing the key and sneaking up here would be sure to upset her. I was set to turn around and rush out the moment I heard anything resembling her footsteps on the stairs. Alanis paused at the top.
"Wow," she said. "You're not going to believe this. What you dragging your feet for? Get your booty up here."
She turned and walked into the attic. I hurriedly followed now that she had whetted my curiosity. She was right. It was surprising. The attic was a like a separate apartment within the house. There was a bedroom and an area with a small kitchen and another area with a sofa, table and chair, with a small television set on a table across from the sofa. To the right there was another door. She opened it and turned to me.
"It's a bathroom with a tub." she said. "Just about as big as the closet we're sharing now."
I stepped up beside her and looked in at the sink, tub and toilet. It was all clean, with no rust, but there were no mirrors. The floor was a dull cream linoleum.
The walls of the attic were papered in a light blue, but there were no pictures or shelves. Alanis moved slowly, looking at the furnishings until she reached the queen-size bed, which had a dark cherry headboard. It looked freshly made with a dark blue comforter and fluffy big pillows. It was made even more carefully than the bed in what was supposedly Grandmother Emma's room. She paused, then held up her hand, as if she wanted me to remain still and quiet. Then she turned slowly.
"Come here. Look at this,' she said.
I stepped up beside her and looked.
"What is it?"
"What is it? Don't you know nothing? That's a baby's bassinet.
It's what they call a Baby Moses basket. My granddad still has the one my mother slept in right after she was born. She was born in a house, not a hospital. Maybe that's why my grandma died. If she was in a hospital..."
"Your grandmother died when your mother was born?"
"Never mind," she said, waving her hand as if she'd been talking to herself aloud. "Who lived up here? Whose baby slept in that? Why is all this locked away? Huh?" she asked me as she looked around. Then she paused and looked at me, waiting for an answer, suspicious of my silence.
"I don't know. How would I know?"
"I just thought she might have said something to you about it."
"No, she didn't."
She went to the small television set on a table across from the sofa and turned it on. The screen lit up with a picture, and a smile exploded across her face. "This is better than the basement, way better. It has a kitchen and a bathroom. too. This really is a private apartment!"
She shut off the television set and went over to the sink to turn on the faucet. Dirty brown water came out but started to clear as she ran it. We heard the sound of what seemed like a bang in a pipe, so she turned it off quickly. We were both quiet, listening.
"Don't worry. I doubt she heard anything. She plays that television too loud," Alanis said and continued to explore the attic, looking in the dresser drawers. She held up baby clothes. "No question that there was a baby up here once. It's all blue and green and yellow. Bet it was a boy. Why keep it up here?"
"Maybe it was the maid's quarters." I suggested. "And she had a baby."
"How can you be a maid and have a baby in the house? Who would watch it while you worked, and where was the daddy?"
"I don't know. Maybe someone lived up here before my grandparents bought the farm."
That gave her pause.
"Yeah. maybe. I'd ask my granddad. He's been here forever and would surely know, only then he would know we got the key, unlocked the door and snuck up here. I better not say anything to him."
"I don't know why it's important we find out anyway."
"Hmm," she said. "You know what we'll do?" she said. smiling. "We'll pretend this is our own private home. Yeah, that's what we'll do. We'll even bring food up here and have our own parties again."
"But Great-aunt Frances might not like it," I said. "The door was locked and she never told me about it."
"Well, we just gotta be careful so she don't find out. right? Right?" she punched at me.
"Right," I said.
"We'll just use it on weekend nights. We'll come up after she toes to sleep. For now, I don't want to even tell Nikki or Raspberry about this, so don't mention it in school. They can be big gossips."
She continued to search the dresser drawers. When she opened and sifted through the clothing in the bottom one, she paused and took out a piece of small notebook paper. She read what was on it.
"What is that?" I asked.
"Woman's name and telephone number. Toby DeMarco, 555- 4343. I wonder if this was the woman who lived up here."
"Why would she have her own number in a drawer?"
"Maybe she left it after she left the house. Just in case she forgot something or something. I don't know all the answers.
You know what we'll do? We'll just mention her name to your great-aunt and see if she says anything. If she wonders how we know the name, we'll say we heard someone say she lived here once."
Once again, I shook my head at how quickly Alanis could come up with stories and lies. It was as if they were all lying just under the surface, waiting anxiously for a chance to pop up.
She continued to explore the attic. I looked closer at the bassinet. It seemed very new, maybe even never used.
"Maybe this was all fixed up for someone and she never lived in it," I suggested.
"Yeah. That could be. You know what I noticed about this attic?" Alanis said, settling on the small settee.
"What?"
"It's clean. Look at the coffee table." she said and ran her hand over it. "Not much dust. Nothing like some of the furniture in the house."
"Maybe your mother cleaned it."
"My mother? No way. She don't do one thing more than she has to," Alanis said. Then she smiled. "Neither do I."
We heard what sounded like a door open and close below,
"Let's get down," she said, rising quickly. "But remember. This is our new secret."
She hurried ahead. We descended the stairs as quietly as we could. At the bottom, she checked the hallway first, and then we slipped out. She locked the door again.
"I'm going to put this key back. too. Just in case," she said. "I'll go down and spend some more time with her so she don't get suspicious."
"Why should she?"
"I don't know. I wanna watch some more television anyway. If she's asleep. I'll turn on something I like." She patted the door with her palm. "Our place," she said. "What should we call it?"
I shrugged. "I don't know."
"How about Hideaway Hotel? Every time we go there, it will be like checking into a hotel someplace."
"Okay," I said. Why did we have to call it anything or pretend anything? She was getting to be like Great-aunt Frances, pretending and creating her own little world. I thought.
"Damn, girl. Stop scowling. We're gonna have fun whether you
like it or not," she said as she turned and headed for the stairway. I watched her go, and then, instead of returning to my room. I returned to Grandmother Emma's and Ian's letters. I really felt I needed to be close to him at this moment, even if he was writing things that made little or no sense to me.
I took out the bag and plucked the next one, slipping it out of the envelope.
.
Dear Jordan,
Today I spoke to Mother using telepathy. I could hear the joy in her voice when she realized it was I. She thought we had deserted her. I explained what I could, but I don't blow
-
where you are or what you're doing since I have had no letters back from you
and Grandmother Emma attorney won 't tell me -
anything. Mother immediately said your not writing back to me it
-
as probably Grandmother Emma's doing and then I told her about Grandmother Emma being in the hospital. I told her everything
-
Grandmother Emma's lawyer would tell me.
She felt sorry for you because you
were alone in that big house. She told me to tell you not to worry, that she
-
would get better someday soon and she would come for you. She asked that you just be patient.
Of course, I told her where I was and what was happening around me. Guess what? She said she already knew, She said Father had come to see her and told her everything
She was sorry that I
-
was so skeptical. That means doubting.
She asked me to be patient, too, but I don't think I have much more time. I'll explain why in my next letter.
Ian
.
I wondered when our father had been there with our mother. Why hadn't he ever told me or taken me? Unless he'd gone there after I'd left the house, but then why hadn't he told Mother where
I
was? I'd have to get Great-aunt Frances to send out my letter as soon as I finished reading all of Ian's. He would know the answers.
I immediately took out the next letter. My fingers fumbled with the paper because I was so nervous, not only because of what I was reading but because of Alanis discovering me.
.
Dear Jordan, It began today.
I am slowly being
-
drawn into a cocoon, l am not sure yet what sort of an insect is doing this to me, but it's happening ever so gradually.
Whatever it is, it is weaving itself around me from my feet up and doing a good, tight job of it. Today, I was unable to get out of my room. When I stood up, I fell over. I was lying on the floor for some time before I was discovered.
Dr. Walker came immediately. I told him what way happening and he tried to convince me it
wasn't true. I listened and listened and smiled and nodded and then he left. They had to bring my food to me.
I can still sit up well enough to write to you.
But don't worry. I will think of some way to get out.
I didn't tell Mother about it. Why worry her any more than she is
worried about both of us? If you get to see her, don't say a word about me.
Ian
.
How horrible for him, I thought. Father should help him. I tore open the next envelope. The next letter was very short.
.
Dear Jordan,
It's around my knees.
Ian
.
I heard footsteps an the stairway, stuffed the bag of letters back into the closet, and hurried out just as Alanis turned toward our room. She didn't hear me hurrying behind her, but when she
saw I wasn't in the room, she turned. "Hey. Reading those letters again?"
"Yes," I said. I didn't want to lie about it. It might only make her more curious. She wasn't that interested anyway. I was sure she thought it would be boring.
"I have some interesting news for you."
'What?"
"I did just what I said. I mentioned Toby DeMarco and your great-aunt became very disturbed. She wanted to know exactly where I had heard about her and I said I couldn't remember. I asked her who she was and she shook her head and said she forgot. Isn't that silly? First, she gets agitated at the mention of her name and then she says she doesn't know who I'm talking about. We got to find out ourselves somehow."
"How?"
"I don't know. We'll call." she said and showed me she still had the slip of paper with Toby DeMarcors name and number.
"What will we say?"
"I don't know. Jeez. Give me time to think, will you?"
"Why do we have to know anyway?" "Ain't you curious?"
"No."
"Yes, you are." She stared at me a moment. "You look upset, flushed. What did your brother tell you in his letters? Did he tell you something bad or something sexy?"
"No." I said quickly.
She pressed her lips together and shook her head.
"Your face might as well be made of glass," she said. "You can't hide much." An idea occurred to her. "He didn't mention that attic by any chance?"
"No. He didn't say anything about this house or anyone in it. I swear,"
I
said. "He never knew much about Great-aunt Frances either and he was never here, and he doesn't know I'm here. No one has told him about me, and my letters were never sent to him."
"Maybe." She smiled. "Anyway, we sure got ourselves one sweet hangout, Hideaway Hotel. I feel so good about it all, I think I'll do some homework to make my teachers happy. You finish all yours?"
"I have a little more to do." I said.
"Well, let's get to work," she said. "If we both do poorly, my granddad will have an excuse to make me leave." she added and went for her books.
She sprawled over the bed to read and do problems. and I continued at my small desk. That was the way Great-aunt Frances found the two of us a little while later.
"How wonderful,'" she said. "The two of you working so hard on your schoolwork and helping each other. If Emma had helped me, I might not have had so much trouble graduating."
"Did you?" Alanis asked her.
"Graduate? Yes, but my daddy had something to do with it," she said with a short laugh. "That's all right. No one expected me to go to college anyway."
"What you do after you left high school?"
"I worked for my father for a while."
"You never met anyone you wanted to marry or who wanted to marry you?" Alanis pursued.
I held my breath, waiting. These were questions I always wanted to ask.
Great-aunt Frances tilted her head and smiled.
"There was someone once. His name was Alex Foster and he worked for his father. too. His father had an export-import business. They were very wealthy people. Very snobby people. too. Alex was very handsome and he was head over heels in love with me, but his mother and father wanted him to marry someone else, someone wealthier. He was very upset about it. They wouldn't stop hounding him until._ until one day he took his own life. Ever since then... oh, why did you ask me?" she cried, pressing her hand over her heart. "I don't like remembering sadness. remember? Besides, don't think about me. Think about yourselves and your wonderful futures. I'm an old lady now. Sweet dreams, girls." she said, smiling, changing expression as fast as she could change the channel on a television set.
She walked away.
"Jeez," Alanis said. "I don't believe it."
"Maybe it's true. She never married anyone," I said.
"No, it's not true."
"How do you knnow?" I asked angrily. She was too positive about everything she thought, and it was beginning to upset me.
"I know because that was the movie we were just watching."
she said.
"It was?"
"Yes, it was. You would think she would remember I was sitting there with her watching it. She is bonkers. I wonder if she was always this way."
She thought a moment and then looked at me hard. "Your family's rich and stuff. but you sure have nut-cases in it... your great-aunt, your brother, and from what you've told me, your grandmother ain't all there either. Your father sounds weird. too. You can inherit being nuts, you know."
I felt the tears coming to my eyes.
"No, you can't. Ian would have told me."
"Yeah, right. Ian. Don't worry about it," she said quickly. "I'll let you know if you do anything crazy or you're about to. I'm here to be your best friend. remember?"
I nodded. but I still didn't like what she had said. I tried to finish my school assignments, but the words became hazy on the page. I rushed to end it and then I got myself ready for bed. Alanis went downstairs when I was in the bathroom. I was already in my pajamas and in bed when she returned.
"Well. I got some news," she said. "That telephone number? I
called it and a man answered. He told me Toby DeMarco was his mother and she was in the Sisters of Mercy nursing home in Johnsville. It's not that far from here. I thought he might have been the baby in the Moses basket. so I asked him where he was born and he got very uptight, demanding who I was and what I wanted, so I just hung up. What do you think of that?"
"I don't know."
"Why did we find his mother's name and telephone number up there? Why is that attic locked away? Why did your aunt keep it the way it was all this time? Why did this man get so upset when I asked him stuff?" she rattled off at me.
"I don't know."
"I don't know. I don't know. Is that all you can say? Don't you want to know?"
Should I tell her about Ian? I wondered. Tell her about that thing he called telepathy and how I hear him warning me all the time? Would she think I am crazy already, too?
"This is like a real mystery story," she continued as she undressed for bed. "I think we'll be like two detectives. I know what," she said as she was crawling in under the covers, "I'll make it up with Chad and we'll get him to drive us to that nursing home. Maybe we'll go there this weekend. I can make him do whatever I want. Okay?'
When I didn't answer right away, she added. "Don't say I don't know or I'll throw you out the window."
I didn't say anything. She turned over to go to sleep, but a moment later, she turned back.
"Maybe we'll learn something that will help you help your brother. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Yes," I said.
"So there. This could be more than just some fun. Good night," she added.
Was she right? Did this house hold the answers to questions that would help Ian and me? Even Greataunt Frances? I was so tired. but I was afraid that the moment I closed my eyes. Ian's letters would give me nightmares. I tried thinking of happy things, but in the end. I cried silently to myself until I was too tired to even dream.
Alanis was up ahead of me in the morning and shook me awake, When I opened my eyes, she was kneeling beside my bed to look into my face.
"What is it?" I asked.
"The ghost," she said.
I
ground the sleep out of my eyes and propped myself up on my elbow.
"What?"
"It's not a ghost. It's your great-aunt. She goes up there and cries
and
then comes down.
I
heard her and watched for her. Don't worry. She didn't see me. Now
I
really want to know who Toby DeMarco is," she added. "And so do you, so don't even think of saying you don't. Get up. We have lots to do and talk about. Your great-aunt's trapped more in her lies and secrets than a fly in a spider's web.
If
we're smart, we'll unlock more than just an attic door in this house."
Why did she mention spiders and flies? Had she snuck into Grandmother Emma's room and read Ian's letters?
I
didn't like spying on Great-aunt Frances. but
I
couldn't deny
I
was very curious about it all now. She was as chipper as ever in the morning, making sure we both ate a good breakfast even though she didn't herself.
"Tomorrow. Jordan and
I
might have a chance to go visit a friend of mine who has a nice house with lots to do in it. There's a game room with a pool table and all sorts of stuff.
I
have a friend who can take us," Alanis said. "Will that be all right with you. Miss Wilkens?"
"Oh. Well, what does your grandfather say?"
"He says if it's all right with you, it's all right with him," she lied.
"As long as you're both back in time for dinner.
I
have some plans for our Saturday night dinner. Something special," she added.
"Oh, how can anything be more special than what we've had already?" Alanis cried. "It's so much fun living here, especially with someone as kind and as generous as you. Miss Wilkens."
Great-aunt Frances smiled. I looked down. Surely if I didn't, she easily could tell how much I hated seeing her fooled. I thought.
"Well, nothing makes me happier than seeing the two of you happy," Great-aunt Frances said.
I looked up at her and struggled not to shout out the truth: We snuck up into the attic, we found things and we're about to spy on people. The words got stuck in my throat and made my eyes tear, Great-aunt Frances thought I was just being grateful. She smiled at me and stroked my hair.
"Sweet child." she said.
"C'mon, Jordan," Alanis urged, poking me. "We don't want to miss our bus."
"Oh. I just remembered." Great-aunt Frances said, dipping into her housecoat pocket. "Here's your lunch money again. I hope this is enough for the both of you." She handed me a twenty- dollar bill.
"Oh, it's perfect," Alanis said.
I hesitated to take it but saw if I didn't. Alanis would, Once I had, she practically tugged me to the door.
"Bye. See you later. Miss Wilkens."
"Have a nice day. girls," Great-aunt Frances called back.
"You almost gave us away in there." Alanis complained. "Stop looking so guilty all the time. We're not doing anything so terrible. This money and what we have is important. We'll have to give Chad some for gas,"
"What if she asks your grandfather if he said yes to your going tomorrow?"
"She won't, and even if she does. I'll tell him she got confused over something else we're doing. You're just a bundle of worry." she said.
Your're just a bundle of lies
, I thought.
When the bus pulled up and we stepped on. I saw immediately that Stuart Gavin was nowhere in sight. Alanis was curious about it as well and found out from another student, one who lived next to him, that his uncle had died and Stuart and his family had gone to be with the uncle's family for the funeral.
"And I was so prepared to pick on him again." Alanis said.
We parted as soon as we entered the school building because she saw Chad down the hall and went after him.
"Worry not." she threw back at me as she walked off. "He's wrapped around my finger.'
She stepped right beside him and put her arm through his. He paused, smiled and walked on. She glanced back once with an "I told you so" expression.
Alanis sure does know a of about boys, I thought. In her way she was as smart as Ian when it came to sex. I hurried on to my classroom. Maybe it was because I had begun hanging around in school with Alanis and her girlfriends, or maybe it was just because of what I looked like, but still none of the other girls in my class showed any interest in becoming my friend. Would I always feel like so much of an outsider?
Mrs. Morgan didn't collect the homework this time, but she called on us to read our answers aloud, and it seemed to me that she called on me more than anyone else in the class. Some of my answers were very good, but she poked holes in others. Then she announced grades on yesterday's work. She didn't care about everyone knowing everyone else's marks. I wasn't the lowest she gave. but I was barely
acceptable. Although I knew she knew I had not been left back Or was too old for my class, she treated me as if I had been.
I
could see it in the satisfied faces of the other students who looked at me.
Later, at lunch. Alanis sat with Chad. Nikki and Raspberry were annoyed.
"I thought she was giving him his walking papers," Nikki told inc. "Why is she back with him?"
I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to do what Alanis taught me, pretend I believed what I was about to say.
"I don't know," I said.
I still wasn't good at it. They both looked at me suspiciously.