Scandalous (10 page)

She laughed and I tried to laugh, too.
But it was hard because I didn't feel the joy that I was supposed to on my wedding day.
My head was filled with thoughts of Roman.
Was that guy weird or what?
Was it just a coincidence that he'd bumped into Kyla?
That didn't seem likely, because he had left with enough time to be far away from the hotel by the time she'd driven up.

I took a deep breath.
Well, at least he was gone and any thoughts I'd had of going down to the beach just to say hello were totally gone, too!
I was going to stay as far away from crazy as I could.

Inside the bathroom, I turned the hot water knob all the way to the right, then stood under the shower, taking as much heat as I could stand.
I scrubbed away my sins, removed every memory of Roman, and prepared myself for my husband.
Kenny was the only one on my mind.
Maybe last night with Roman was a good thing; now, I really couldn't wait to get married.

Chapter 6

“
Okay, go!
”
Yolanda, the wedding planner barked at Kyla.
She waited for a count of three and said,
“
Next,
”
then pushed my sister through the double French doors before she closed them and motioned for me and my father to step from the side.
“
This is what happens when you don't have a rehearsal,
”
Yolanda mumbled under her breath.

She had been complaining so much the whole morning that I'd already learned how to tune her out.

“
You ready to do this, sweetheart?
”
my father asked me as if he was ignoring Yolanda, too.

“
Definitely.
”

He took my hand and hooked our arms together.
“
Kenny is a good man, but with you by his side, he's a blessed man.
”

I smiled at him.
Even though my dad never lived up to the standards that I'd wanted (he never wore a suit to work like Kyla's father, and he never made a lot of money like Kyla's father) he gave me something better than all of that: he gave me unconditional love.

“
I love you, Daddy,
”
I
said,
right before I kissed his cheek.

“
I love you too, sweetheart.
And I know your mother is smiling down on you right now.
”

Ah, man!
I was doing just fine up to this moment.
My dad bringing up my mother brought new tears to my eyes.
I tried to blink them back, because if I started crying again, I might never stop.
A
nd Kyla would kill me after all she'd done on my makeup.
But how could I help it?
Thoughts of my mother always made me want to cry.
No matter how much I loved my father, there was nothing like my mother's love.
From as early as I could remember, we'd always been a twosome. Even after Serena was born, nothing changed; I was always her special little girl.

You've been with me the longest, was something that she always said to me.
You will always have a special place in my heart.

My mother proved to me that she meant it, too.
From the manis and pedis that we got together to our monthly pajama parties where my mom slept in my bedroom with me, I knew there was a place that was all mine in her heart.

I know a lot of people thought that I'd changed when my mom passed away.
I had to agree.
When they lowered my mother into the ground, I was absolutely sure that a piece of my heart went down there with her.

Just as I felt myself dipping down into that abyss of sadness, I was shocked out of it by the wedding planner from hell.

“
Okay, get ready, get ready,
”
Yolanda barked.
“
Time to go.
One, two, three
…
”

She opened the door.
M
y father and I stood under the arch at the entrance of the room.
I grasped my father's arm a bit tighter as the world-renowned harpist, Latricia Flowers, softly played her rendition of Stevie Wonder's
“
You and I.
”

All of the fifty guests that Kenny and I had invited stood as I took my first steps.
Their smiles greeted me, and I took the time to soak in the good wishes that I saw on my friends' faces.
Well, calling these people friends might have been a stretch, and the expressions on their faces were more scowls than smiles, but since it was my wedding day, I could see whatever I wanted to see on their faces.

Like I said before, women didn't really like me.
Not that I cared; I'd stopped caring about what any of them thought the day I graduated from middle school.
On that day, I'd left behind every single incident that, if I hadn't been the strong child my parents raised me to be, would've scarred me for life.

On graduation day, I forgot about the time I'd walked into the bathroom and heard the girls talking about the way the heels of my loafers were worn down.

“
Do you think Jasmine's ever had a new pair of shoes?
”
Tiffany Adams had giggled.

I was so crushed that I'd run back into Mrs. Yearwood's math class and when Kyla asked me what was wrong, I shook my head and just prayed my bladder would hold out for the next three hours until I got home.

On graduation day, I pushed aside the hurt I still felt when Brittany Weatherspoon had handed out invitations to her thirteenth birthday party to every student in the class
…
except for me.

“
Oh, Jasmine, I'm sorry,
”
she'd said as I fought hard to hold my tears.
“
I figured that you wouldn't be able to afford a birthday gift, since you're poor and all, so I was just helping you out.
”

The only thing that
had
helped me out that day was Kyla standing up and returning her invitation, declaring in front of the whole class that if her best friend wasn't invited then she wasn't going either.

On graduation day, I'd left behind the days of torture, the days of reminders that I wasn't included because I was nothing more than a scholarship student.
I'd left behind the tears that I held inside because I would never be one of the girls.

But, on the first day of high school, that had all changed.
When Donnell Davis, a sophomore on the varsity basketball team, had winked at me as he strutted by my locker.
That single action brought me to the realization that I didn't need girls, I had boys.
And the boys turned me into the most popular girl in high school.

If I'd had my way, this little chapel would have been filled with boys who'd grown into men, but there was no way that would've passed by my husband.
So women were here, just to fill the chairs.

My eyes scanned the crowd and I focused first on Shelley, standing in the back row like she was only there because she was my boss and as soon as she could, she was gonna make a quick getaway.
She wasn't even smiling; she was just staring, and I knew what that was all about
--
for once, she was jealous of me.
I wanted to roll my eyes, but couldn't.
Because that would be the precise moment when the photographer, Dee Hampton, would snap a picture.
I just prayed that she got some good photos of me, but I wouldn't bet any money on that.
I had told Kenny over and over that I didn't want Deborah as our photographer, but he'd insisted on her.

“
Come on, you know she needs the work,
”
he'd begged.

It wasn't that I was trying to be cold-hearted.
I just didn't think it was proper protocol to have my husband-to-be's ex working our wedding.
Okay, so they’d been boyfriend and girlfriend way back in the sixth grade, but it was in the sixth grade where I'd discovered the truth about girls, remember?

Well, whatever!
All Deborah could do today was dream about what might have been.
I spread my lips into a smile as I took a final look at Shelly, even though all she did was smirk at me.
I shook my head just a little, wondering why she was even here.
She probably didn't even come with a gift.
Not that my boss was cheap. She wore some righteous designer outfits to work just about every day.
But she didn't like me, so I doubted if she was going to pull out her Gold American Express card for me.

My smile turned genuine when I saw Laverne and Faith, the two administrative assistants at Carnation.
Now those were two ladies that I could say I liked.
Laverne was the head assistant and Faith was kinda her sidekick, but from my first day on the job, they took care of me.
At first, all I did was wonder
:
what did they think they were going to get out of me?
But it turned out they wanted nothing, and over the years that I'd been there, they always had my back.

As my father and I continued the slow stroll down the aisle, I soaked in the
o
ohhs
and
a
ahhs
that softly filled the air, and I knew that I'd achieved the look.
I wore a simple dress, but the satin-crepe was cut to my body to hug every curve and the cowl neckline was just low and sexy enough.
It was too bad that the designer, LaShawn, wasn't here to see everyone's reaction to her creation.
I had invited her, but that chick hadn't even sent back her RSVP.
She called me up directly to decline, telling me that she really didn't like me and designing the dress for me had been all about business for her.

Whatever!

My glance moved to the other side and I looked right into the eyes of Alexis Ward and Stephanie Johnson.
When I saw the two of them, I didn't even care if the photographer caught me rolling my eyes.
What were the two of them doing on the groom's side of the aisle anyway?
I bet they did that on purpose.
They didn't even know Kenny!
Not that they were my friends either.
I only knew Alexis and Stephanie because of Kyla, and I wished she'd never introduced me to either one of them.
The way they were acting now, I'd bet they wished the same thing.
Alexis had the nerve to yawn as I passed by, and Stephanie wasn't even looking; she was studying her nails as if she was trying to figure out if she needed a new manicure.

Whatever!

At least I saw some friendly faces when
I looked back to the other side
.
Well, not friends actually
--
the second row was filled with my relatives, though I'd only invited a few.
I wanted my wedding to be classy, not country, but that was hard to do considering the folks I was related to.
Take my cousin, Cheryl.
I did love her; she was a sweet kid.
But while everyone was standing and looking and appreciating me, Cheryl sat at the end of the row, reading a book!
I'm telling you, every time I saw my cousin, she was reading a book.
But dang
--
this was a wedding.
Who read a book at a wedding?
See, that's why there were only ten of my relatives here, including my dad, my sister, and my brother-in-law
….…
and then I saw them: my nephews.
Every single bad thought I had up to that moment was all gone because there were Serena's sons, smiling up at me.
Serena thought Robert Jr., who was three, and James, who was two, were too young to be in the wedding.
But to me they were still part of it, standing there in the front row next to their father, wearing miniature tuxedos.
I wanted to rush over, swoop them both into my arms, then pinch and kiss their cheeks.
Those little boys had captured my heart the way no one else had, except for
…
.

Kenneth Larson.

When I looked up, Kenny came into my full view and now no one else, not even my nephews, was on my mind.
Kenny Larson was decked out for real.
I'd gone with Kenny to buy the Pierre Cardin tuxedo that he wore.
Of course, he could have rented a tuxedo like every other groom, but I had big plans for him and he was going to need a tuxedo in his wardrobe.
And we had picked out the perfect suit.
Because looking as dapper as he did, he could leave right now and step into the pages of that hot GQ Magazine.

But it was more than just the way Kenny looked.
It was the way he smiled, no, the way he beamed as his eyes stayed on me.
I swear, that man didn't even blink as my father guided me closer to him.

In Kenny's eyes I saw it
--
just pure love.
Like he loved me more than anything in the world.
Like he would always love me that way.

And I loved him so much too.

I had no doubts and now I could leave what I'd done last night and all those nights before in the same place
--
I could leave my dirty laundry in the past.
What was before me now was a future that I'd dreamed about since I was a little girl.
Kenny was my prince.
No, he wasn't going to be the NFL star that I always thought he'd be, but he was still mine.
And together, we'd build a great life and have it all: a new house, wonderful children, successful careers.
Nothing and no one else would matter as long as it was just the two of us.

By the time I reached Kenny and the judge, my eyes were filled with tears, but my heart was singing.