Savor Me (9 page)

“Mason…”

“Shhhh… Be quiet.” He peeks over my shoulder at a sleeping Hunter then back to my eyes. “Don’t wake him up.” It’s not a plea. It’s a demand. I offer him a quick nod. I want this with him, just him.

With one hand, Mason silently works me toward the edge. His eyes never leave mine except for the moments when he glances down to my lips. He never kisses me, but I have no doubt he wants to. And that is enough for me.

I come on a whisper. Kisses rain over my face as I sleepily snuggle in close to his side.

“Promise you won’t leave,” I say on a sigh.

“This won’t work out, but I promise I won’t leave you, Lace. Ever.” His words lull me into a comfortable and secure sleep. Those are rare at best.

AS THE WEEKS PASS,
Hunter, Mason, and I fall into a routine. We see each other about five nights a week, but always together. With the exception of spending time with Hunter while Mason rides and my nightly talks with Mason after Hunter falls asleep, it's always the three of us. When we are in public, Mason keeps his distance while Hunter claims me for the whole town to see. He's always touching and kissing me. As far as everyone else is concerned, Hunter and I are dating, but I know better, so it doesn't bother me. It's not a relationship, and the fact that Mason is involved every step of the way guarantees that. It's the perfect arrangement.

"So here’s the deal. I don't want y'all fucking other women," I randomly announce one Friday night. I say randomly, but it’s really only random to them. I’ve given this a lot of thought. Thanks to a fantastic nightmare where I stood alone watching Hunter and Mason move on without me, I decided to broach the topic with them. Neither one of them has shown any interest in other women since we first hooked up, but I’d rather be safe than…alone.

"Okay," Hunter immediately agrees while Mason curls his lip in disgust and firmly answers, "No."

Hunter looks over at him. "What the hell do you mean, no?"

"I mean, hell-fucking-no. She isn't going to dictate who I can and can't sleep with."

"Are you planning to sleep with someone else? Before Lacey, you were in a hell of a dry spell. I'm sure she’ll still let you jerk off if that’s what you’re worried about." Hunter lets his true asshole fly for the first time since that first morning in the barn.

"Fuck you. I'm not getting into some fucked-up ménage with you two. I date women and occasionally fuck them with you. That doesn't mean I want a boyfriend."

"Whoa, I never said anything about being in a relationship—with each other or with me. I just mean that if we are going to do this on the regular, I think we should only do it with each other.”

"Fine. If Mason isn't down with that, he can leave. It can just be the two of us, sugar."

"For the love of God, stop calling me sugar, and no. It's both of you or nothing. Otherwise, it really is a relationship. I'm pretty sure we can all agree we are
not
interested in any sort of relationship. I'm greedy as hell, and I want both of you...for now.”

"Okay, I'm in," Hunter answers quickly again.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mason snaps in his direction again.

"What the hell is wrong with
you
?" Hunter yells back at him. "She's sexy as hell, she isn't begging me for a commitment, and if the way she sucks my dick wasn't enough of a reason for me to stay, her tight ass would be. So yes, I'm absolutely in."

"You have lost your fucking mind," Mason replies in disbelief.

"Look, I'm not asking you to be with Hunter.” I walk up to Mason, resting my hands on his hard stomach. "Mason, look at me." He immediately drops his eyes to mine. I lean in close and whisper, "Can we talk about this tonight? In bed? You know, just me and you?" I've learned over the last few weeks that Mason is a whole different man when Hunter is asleep and it’s just me and him having one of our late-night talks. I can't do a relationship, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let Mason go. "Don't leave," I say even more quietly, dropping my forehead to his chest. It might be wrong to use it against him, but he knows what that one sentence means.

He breathes out a loud sigh and wraps an arm around my waist. "I'll talk, but this is weird, Lacey. Fucking around is one thing, but this...this is totally different."

"We'll figure it out." I squeeze him tightly. "Thank you."

"I said I'd talk, Lace. Don't thank me yet."

JUST AS I HEAR
Hunter begin to fall asleep, I roll over into my usual position—crushed against Mason's side.

"What do you think?"

"About what?" Mason asks as he begins to stroke my back.

"About not sleeping with other people."

"I think it sounds like I'd be in a relationship with you...and my best friend."

"It's not a relationship. How many times do I have to say that? It's just three people who have agreed not to sleep with anyone else. I'm not asking for flowers and commitments. I'm asking not to have to share you. That’s all."

"Well, I have to share you," he bites out.

"What the hell? I thought you liked to watch."

"I do, I do," he says on an exasperated sigh. "I just don't think it's fair to ask me to commit to this ridiculousness."

"I don't want you to commit to anything!" I shout, sitting up in bed. I know I'm probably about to wake up Hunter, effectively ending this conversation completely, but it is obvious he is not hearing what I'm saying.

"Shhhhh!" Mason pulls me back down on top of him. I'm so close to his face, and for a split second, I think he is going to kiss me, finally touch me with those lips that I so long to touch with my own.

I can't stop myself from asking the question I have been dying to know the answer to since the very first night. "Why don't you kiss me?"

"I do kiss you, just not on the mouth."

"Why?" I look up and find him staring down into my eyes.

"How about this? I won't look to hook up with any other woman, but if I do, I’ll tell you immediately and this will be over. Would that work for you?" he asks, completely changing the subject.

"Kiss me," I demand, ignoring his comment the same way he did mine.

"Will that work for you, Lace? I won't see anyone else, but if I do, I swear I'll be honest and end this."

"Kiss me," I say, continuing our parallel conversation.

"Lacey, listen to me."

"Fine, Mason. Fuck whoever you want. Just kiss
me
!"

"I do fuck whoever I want. I was inside you just a little while ago."

"Mason, stop being a dick and either kiss me or tell me why you don't kiss me."

He rolls away, throwing an arm under his head. "You're not mine to kiss, Lacey."

I stare at him for a few minutes, trying to understand his words. I can’t figure out if he’s insinuating that he wants me to be his or if maybe he just doesn't like the idea of kissing me after Hunter. He's had sex with me after Hunter, so I can't imagine why a kiss would bother him.

"I only kiss what's mine," he says but doesn't offer any other explanation.

If I'm being honest, it’s a known fact that I have a short temper. Especially when it’s caused by rejection. Mason’s cryptic non-explanation enrages me. He has touched every inch of my body, but somehow I'm not good enough to kiss. I'm not some weak little woman who is going to let this eat away at me or do the whole 'why am I not good enough' thing. Instead, I'm going to get pissed and make him feel just as rejected as he has made me feel. Juvenile? Absolutely! I never claimed to be mature.

I have quickly learned Mason's buttons, and if he wants to play games, so will I. I do the one thing I know will piss him off. I roll over, giving him my back, and curl into a sleeping Hunter.

"Goodnight, Mason," I say over my shoulder. He doesn't get up and leave, but he doesn't respond either. I fall asleep an hour later without another word spoken.

AT SOME POINT IN
the night, I feel strong arms drag me across the bed then Mason’s warm breath against my ear. “Stop using him against me.”

“I’m not,” I say, half asleep, snuggling closer into his side.

“Yes, you are. Every time we disagree about something, you punish me by running to him. Stop, or I can’t do this at all anymore.”

“What?” I breathe as fear starts to course through my body. Suddenly, I’m awake and frantically searching his face for answers.

“Shhh.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I won’t leave you, Lace. Calm down, okay?” he soothes me. He rubs his thumb back and forth across my cheek until my breathing evens out. “You just have to stop punishing me like that, or…”

“Or what? You say you won’t leave, so what is the or?”

“Jesus, Lace. Just stop doing it and I won’t have to figure it out.”

Suddenly, it hits me. I’ve never asked him the one question that brought us together. “What’s your biggest fear, Mason?”

“You.”

My head snaps up with his answer, realizing the weight of his words. “Me?”

“Well, more like losing you to Hunter. But yeah. You.” He shrugs then leans down to kiss my forehead.

“Mason…” I try to find words. Is he afraid Hunter and I will leave him? I can relate to that. But somehow I know it’s more.

“Go back to sleep, Lace. Please just stop using him against me.”

I scoot up the bed, resting my head on his pillow instead of my usual spot on his chest. I want to see him and be able to kiss his face. Even if it’s not his lips, it’s the closest he will give me. I pepper kisses across his cheek. He offers me a sad smile and rolls on his side to face me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, staring at his mouth.

“Go to sleep, Lace.”

“I’m yours right now. In this second, I’m completely yours. You can kiss me, Mason.”

He lets out a sigh, shaking his head. “Go to sleep, Lace,” he repeats, rejecting me like he always does. I begin to roll away, when his words flash into my mind.

I freeze, willing myself to stay still before offering him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, habit.”

“It’s okay,”

“I’ll try harder.”

He nods and drops his forehead to mine. “It just scares me. Every time you roll into his arms, I think it’s more than just a simple action. I worry that it’s a final choice.”

I’m shocked by his admission. He’s exposing a lot of himself tonight. That’s not exactly something Mason does often.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I just thought it just made you mad. I was being a brat. That’s all.”

“You really are a brat sometimes.” He lets out a small chuckle.

I lean forward, gently kissing his face, careful to avoid his lips so not to cause any more problems. As much as I want to kiss him, I want him to want to kiss me too.

“Mason, how do you see this whole thing ending?” I ask. I can’t help but think about the end. No matter how good this may be now, there is always an end. I’m in too deep with these guys, and this isn’t a lifestyle that can be maintained.

“I told you I won’t leave you, Lacey. So when and how this ends will have to be your decision.”

I know he means those words to be reassuring to me. He wants me to know that I’m safe with him, but they only make me panic. I won’t be able to leave Mason, but I can’t truly be with him either. I move to hide my face in his neck. I won’t cry, but I’m terrified of what I’ll say if stare into his eyes for even a minute longer.