Saving You (Love Wanted In Texas Book 2) (4 page)

“What do you want from me, Luke?”

I knew I couldn’t tell her how I felt. I knew she felt the same way about me, but something kept stopping me. I was so afraid I would hurt her again. I always seemed to hurt her.

“I … I care about you, Libby. You’re my best friend,” I said as I watched a tear roll down her face. I quickly walked up to her and placed my hand on the side of her face and wiped the tear away. My heart was breaking knowing I caused that tear. She leaned her face into my hand and my heart felt like someone was squeezing it.

“I want more than that, Luke,” she whispered as she closed her eyes. “I don’t want to be your best friend.”

Dropping my hand, I took a step back. Libby opened her eyes and looked into mine. It was almost as if she was pleading with me to do something. Say something. I took two steps back and shook my head. “I don’t mean to keep hurting you, Libby. I … I just …”

The moment I saw the hurt flash across her face, I wanted to pull her to me. She cleared her voice and smiled weakly. “I’ll see you around, Luke.” Turning away from me, Libby walked over to the keypad and typed in the code, causing the gate to swing open.

“Lib, let me drive you up to the house,” I called out after her. She held up her hand and continued walking.

“I need some time alone. See you around, Luke.”

“Fuck,” I mumbled under my breath as I watched her walk down the driveway. I turned and headed back to my truck. Slamming the door shut, I dropped my head against the back of the seat. I closed my eyes and was brought back to the night my world changed.

I WAS LEANING
against my truck watching Libby out of the corner of my eye. I finally got the guts to kiss her. Why I waited until the night before I left for college, I have no clue. Will was going on and on about something.

Grace and Libby started giggling when Will looked over toward them. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Libby. She had been my best friend since I could remember. We did everything together. Told each other everything. I swear my lips were still tingling from the kiss we shared earlier under the bleachers.

“Our friendships are so important. I hope nothing ever gets in the way of that. We have to make sure nothing gets in the way of our friendships with each other,” Will said as he turned and looked at me. “You’re going off to college and all, ya know what I mean?”

My heart dropped in my stomach.
What did I just do?
I was so confused by the feelings that flooded my body after Libby and I kissed.
Is Libby just as confused? Did she regret the kiss
? I turned back and looked at Libby.
I just kissed my best friend
.
Shit
. I swallowed hard and looked at Will.

He was now staring at the girls. I pushed off the truck and opened it. “I’m heading off. Tell the girls I’ll miss them.”

“You’re not going to say good-bye?” Will asked as he looked at me with a confused look.

I shook my head. “I did, earlier. It’s best if I leave now. I’ve got to get up early.” I jumped in my truck and began backing up. As I started to pull out, I looked back to Libby. She was standing there with a confused look on her face. I quickly looked away and pushed down the sick feeling I had in my stomach. I couldn’t risk our friendship.

IT WAS MY
second day at school and I had already been invited to a party. I glanced down at my phone and saw Libby’s text.

Lib
: Why didn’t you say good-bye? Please call me.

Me
: Been really busy trying to get used to all this. I’ll call you soon.

Closing my eyes, I pushed my phone into my pocket and looked around. I had met Manny in fishcamp, Texas A&M’s version of freshman orientation, a few weeks back. He was a sophomore, and he and his older brother lived in a house off campus. As soon as I walked through the door, Manny pushed a beer in my hand and then showed me which bedrooms were open if I was interested in hooking up with anyone.

Looking around, I checked everyone out. I was pretty sure I was the only freshman at this party. I took a drink of my beer when I caught her staring at me. I watched as she ran her tongue along her top teeth and smiled. Her wavy blonde hair fell just above her shoulders. She had on a tight, black dress that barely covered what it needed to cover. I gazed down her body to her long tan legs and bright-red fuck-me shoes and then back up till our eyes met. I nodded my head and smiled letting her know the attraction was mutual. She looked at her friend and said something before turning and making her way over to me. She couldn’t hold a candle to Libby.

Libby. I needed to push Libby and the kiss far from my mind. Will’s words replayed in my head about all of our friendships.
Did I ruin my friendship with Libby by kissing her?
I had such strong, crazy feelings for Libby. If I moved forward with my feelings for her, and if it didn’t work, our friendship would be
forever ruined. I’d rather have Libby in my life than risk losing her because of my feelings.

The blonde walked up and stopped right in front of me. “Hey,” she said with an almost purr to her voice. “I’m Karen. And you are?”

“Luke. Luke Johnson.”

Her eyebrows rose up. “Country boy. I think I just fell a little bit more for you.” I laughed as I took another drink of beer. “Want to have some fun?”

Looking her body up and down, I shrugged. “Depends on what kind of fun you’re talking about.”

She glanced over to the stairs that led to the bedroom. “The kind of fun that has you taking off your clothes and me getting to know you better.”

The entire time I followed Karen up the stairs, I rationalized that I was moving on. The kiss between Libby and me had been a mistake. I couldn’t risk our friendship.

It all seemed like a blur. I was lying next to Karen staring up at the ceiling as she traced a pattern over and over on my chest. “I think you and I are going to have lots of fun together, Mr. Johnson.”

I smiled as I pulled her closer to me and closed my eyes.

Libby. I’m so sorry, Libby.

OPENING MY EYES
, I shook my head, trying to erase the memory of the night I betrayed Libby. I put my truck in reverse and pulled out of the driveway. Putting it into drive, I pushed the gas and sped away as I looked in the rearview mirror at Libby walking down her driveway. I’d never before had my heart physically feel like it was hurting.

Libby.

“LIBBY? ARE YOU
going to peel the potato or just stand there and hold it?”

I looked over at my mother and tried to smile. She looked so adorable. She had her hair in low pigtails and she was wearing black Capri pants with a light-purple shirt. “Sorry. Just thinking.”

She looked at me and gave me a smile. “About?”

“School.”

“How’s school going?”

I smiled. “Great.”

“You getting used to everything? The dorm? The food? Are you making sure you’re always walking with someone at all times?”

I let out a giggle. “Slowly, yes. The dorm is okay, but really small. The food sucks, and yes I am always with someone.”

“Do you get to see your brother and Luke often?” she asked as she placed an apple pie in the oven.

Hearing his name caused my heart to feel like it stopped beating. “Not too often. I’m pretty busy with school stuff and so are they.”

My mother nodded her head and walked back over to the island where she began working on the stuffing. “How was the ride home with Luke?”

I snapped my head up and looked at her. “Fine. Why do you ask?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t know. It just seems like the two of you used to be inseparable and now it’s as if you hardly know each other.”

I dropped my eyes to the ground and then looked back up. I slowly shook my head. “Why are men so damn confusing, Mom?”

She smiled softly, took the potato out of my hand, and led me to the kitchen table where we both sat. She took in a deep breath and blew it out. “Libby, I wish I could answer that for you. Your father still says and does things that have me standing there trying to sort out what in the heck he was saying or thinking.”

I let out a giggle. My parents were amazing. The way my father looked at my mother was as if he couldn’t get enough of her. Will and I had walked in on them more than once where they were just short of getting it on. I loved how they weren’t afraid to show their love for each other. Seeing my father take my mother’s hand in his made me long for that.

I turned away from my mother. “Luke told me he loved me.” My mother sucked in a breath and I quickly looked back. “But he was drunk, Mom. Drunk out of his mind.”

She smiled. “You know, drunks never lie.”

Running my hands down my face, I let out a frustrated moan before dropping my hands onto my lap. “Mom, he pushes me away, then he pulls me right back in.”

Reaching over, my mother gently took my hands in hers as she rubbed her thumbs over my skin. “What do you mean, he pulls you right back in?”

Letting out a long sigh, I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them. “He acts like he doesn’t want to even talk to me sometimes. Then … then …” I threw my hands up in the air. “Then he goes off and pulls me out of his truck and dances with me in the rain. He almost kisses me, and the emotions start going crazy. And then bam, he pulls back! It’s like I can see it in his eyes, Mom, and then his eyes go dark and I see nothing.”

My mother smiled slightly and nodded her head. “You know, your father and I played a similar game. I was so in love with him, but I pushed him away. I pushed him into the arms of another woman.”

My mouth dropped open some. “What?” Her eyes filled with sadness as if she was thinking back to a memory.

“I was scared. I had lost my parents not long before that and I was afraid to open my heart to anyone, Libby. I mean, so afraid. I knew the moment I let your father in, something would pull him away from me.” She shook her head and looked down before looking back up at me. “Do you love him, Libby?”

Tears filled my eyes as I nodded my head. “I love him very much, Mom. So much it hurts.”