Saving This (The McCallans #5) (14 page)

“Help with a few things? Like what?”

“Mmm, the manager and his wife live here. When Larry is working and his wife Louisa is alone for more than a couple of hours, I sit with her for a bit or help with stuff. She has Parkinson’s and some days her symptoms are worse than others.”

Surprised, Max slowly nodded. “Wow, interesting. And, uh, is that what you mostly do? Help with things here?”

“You mean for a job?” she asked. Chuckling, she shook her head. “Nah, that’s only once or twice a week for a couple of hours. No, I’m actually still in the sports scene.” She got up and opened a drawer to the small desk in the corner. Pulling out what looked like an advertising pamphlet for surfboards, she handed it to him. “When I was still a sponsored athlete, I had my own line of gear. When I quit the pros, I continued on with a friend and we started our own company last year.” Pointing to a shortboard on the second page, she added, “That’s Tate’s design.”

“Really,” Max stated, looking over the airbrushed wave-and-sunset design on the fiberglass surface. “Wow, I didn’t know he was doing stuff like this.”

“He’s pretty talented. And see here?” she pointed to another board on the third page. “That’s his too. He’s one of our artists. He’s commissioned for custom stuff too.”

Max nodded, looking it over. Anna’s signature was scribbled under the design on both boards as an endorsement.

“He’s done all of my logo designs and the artwork,” she added. “Tyse introduced us and it was a perfect business connection. Kobe loves him, too.  They work well together.”

Again Max nodded, but he felt a bit out of the loop. However, he asked, “So…Kobe’s your partner?”

“Yeah, he builds each board by hand in his shop at home. Surprisingly we get a lot of orders, and right now he’s pretty backed up and unable to take any more at this time. But, yeah. That’s kind of what I do on the side.”

“Hmm, then you’re an entrepreneur. You think about expanding your business?”

She thought for a few seconds. “Mmm, nah. We like it small. Kobe has a young family and we both just do it because we enjoy it. I don’t want to be tied down to a large company. And I coach semi-pros on the waves every weekend, so I have a good mix of things to do. And I don’t need the money, I just enjoy it.”

Max noticed she did indeed seem content with her life. He may have been a bit envious, but he was happy for her happiness, nonetheless. “That’s great. I’m glad you’ve found what works for you.”

Anna slowly nodded, but seemed to be studying him carefully as she replied, “It wasn’t easy to walk away from what my father had planned for me.”

Feeling a bit transparent, Max immediately cloaked himself with indifference. “You grow up how you grow up,” he shrugged. “ ‘Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.’”

She offered a curious smile. “Sounds like solid advice. Is that a quote?”

“Maya Angelou,” he nodded. “And it’s good advice. Not something we can always see for ourselves, though.”

“It’s hard to make changes. Especially when it will affect a lot of people.”

He didn’t know how to respond, but mostly, he was feeling a bit defensive that someone close to him may have shared some of his personal life with Anna. He didn’t necessarily think they had, but she was getting under the surface a little too easily. She either knew more about him than he thought, or she was good at reading people.

He sighed. “Look, I don’t know what you think you know about me, but life is life. Ups and downs, give and take…it’s about balance. Finding where you fit sometimes takes a lifetime. You, me, anyone.”

“I don’t know anything about your life other than it seems you are pulled in so many directions, you hardly have time to be yourself. Happiness starts with
you
, Max. No one else has the key to your happiness.”

He took a moment to consider her words, but had no response.

She situated herself to face him fully. “Look. I was rude to you when we met up north, and I’m sorry about that. You really are a bit intimidating, but it has nothing to do with, like, who you are to the public. I couldn’t care less. But look at you, Max. You’re…you’re just so closed off. Defensive. Cold, sometimes. But when I truly think about what life might be like for you… I get it. I really do. You may not think I do, but I understand. I’ve been through the ringer when it comes to publicity and parents and people wanting a piece of you or what you can do for them. When I walked away from what everyone expected of me…it was a huge issue. Tabloids. Judgment. Disappointment. Family opinions.” She exhaled. “I wish you could see I’m just a girl who thinks you’re a beautiful man with an amazing sense of humor—one you make sure stays hidden, I might add. There’s way more to you, McCallan. You’re just too afraid to show it to the wrong person.”

There were times Max could listen to someone bullshit him for hours but still had to smile and play along. He’d spent way too much of his life doing things he didn’t want to do, all for the sake of image and the perfect representation of the McCallan dynasty. Where had it taken him? –To countless magazine covers, talk shows, multi-million dollar movies, two Oscars, and other various awards, apparently. And he was proud of those achievements, but the tides change and so do a person’s interests and what matters most to them.

Anna was definitely reminding him of that. He hadn’t really thought about her situation with the media and her family because he’d been concerned with his own circumstances. Maybe they had a lot more in common than he realized. And now, since she didn’t continue speaking like he hoped she would, he knew she was waiting for him to respond.

Taking his time, Max considered all the ways he could react to her assessment of him. She was one-hundred-percent right, of course, but could he allow her to know that?

“You don’t have to be afraid of
me
,” Anna said when he still hadn’t replied yet. She moved from her spot on the couch until she was right in front of him. “I want nothing from you but your time.”

The wall. It went up automatically. He didn’t move, didn’t change expressions, didn’t allow her to see how much she affected him.

Because she did, and he was finally starting to admit to himself that this girl could break him down if he let her.

Chapter Sixteen

Anna felt like she was conditioning a wounded animal right now. It made her extremely nervous, but at the same time, she felt incredibly sad, angry, and heartbroken. This guy was a vault to his feelings, only allowing people to see what he wanted them to see.

Which was nothing except an arrogant celebrity persona. She
knew
he was more than that, but she didn’t quite understand why he felt the need to be that way with her. Maybe she wasn’t any different from the next person in his eyes, but she knew better and felt inclined to make him see that. She’d been in those circles with the snakes, the charmers, the silver tongues, and the business associates who claim to have your best interest at heart.

The worst were your own friends and family who end up stabbing you in the back. When money and fame are in sight, people turn into self-serving monsters.

Moving even closer to him, her eyes connected with his as she impulsively straddled his lap, testing his reaction while proceeding cautiously. Those blue eyes of his were a shitload of trouble when she dared to look into them so deeply, but it occurred to her that they could be the only way to decipher guise from reality. Right now he was watching her face, even when she rested her hands on his shoulders and sat her ass on his thighs. That kiss up north had been on her mind ever since and it was time to put those feelings to the test again.

He wasn’t objecting. In fact, his fingers gripped her hips when she leaned closer to his mouth—like he wanted to keep her there. She slid her hands up to frame his face, rubbing a gentle thumb along the bristly stubble she liked so much. Gorgeous wasn’t the right word to describe this man.
Stunning
was more appropriate?

Anna paused, just to take in his features one last time before she entered that point of no return. Just kissing him before had made her temporarily insane. It’d taken everything in her power to tell him to stop that night. But she’d meant what she said. She wasn’t going to cheapen her value for a one-time trip around the block.

No
. She had more to give than that, and so did he.

Anna’s pause may have been a bit long since Max now had a hand firmly behind her neck, pulling her lips down to his. Resisting wasn’t an option and she met his mouth eagerly. It was only a matter of seconds before they were each devouring lips and tongues in equal fury.

Her entire body felt aflame. It was a foreign sensation. She’d never felt so consumed by someone who made her completely lose any reasonable thought that could douse the flame a bit. Even all the nonsense she told herself, like how many women he could get on any given day, or how she was probably pretty plain compared to any of them as well… Those thoughts had made her cautious before, along with Max’s behavior after she’d told him to stop touching her the last time. But no matter how much she tried to convince herself he was a player in every sense of the word… She didn’t want to believe it.

He’s going to wreck you,
she warned herself.
He’s going to get what he wants from you and walk away.

Suddenly Max pushed her shoulders back slightly and dropped his head against the couch to breathe. He’d slid her back a few inches too, noticeably off his erection, and she realized she’d been grinding into him for God only knows how long.

“We should slow down,” he said, clearing his throat and then running a hand through his hair. “I, um, don’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

Confused, Anna transferred herself to the couch. “I don’t understand.”

He shook his head with that little half smile he does sometimes. It was an act that seemed to have a ton of meaning on any given day. This time he appeared somewhat bewildered, like he really didn’t know what to say to her.

Finally he looked at her again and said, “I can’t resist you anymore, Anna.” His voice was soft but measured. “But whatever this is between us… I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t know what expectations you have, but this isn’t why I came here.”

Feeling slightly burned already, she replied, “Then why did you come here?”

“To apologize.” He barely chuckled, almost remorsefully. “Just to talk to you. To…I don’t know, hang out. Get to know you better?”

They’d already had a bit of a get-to-know-you session, but maybe he was right and they needed to continue that. Or maybe he was just trying to be chivalrous right now. The fact that she couldn’t read him at all was highly discouraging. But if he wanted to talk… She could give him that.

She grabbed her phone from the coffee table and asked, “What kind of pizza do you like?” She was already punching information into the app before he even answered, just to distract herself from the physical reaction she was still having toward him.

“I’m fine with anything you order.”

She’d expected that answer, which was why she already typed in her preference before waiting for his response. She set the phone on the table and faced him again. “So here’s what we do. Pizza will be about forty minutes, so until it arrives, we do some Q&A.”

He arched an eyebrow at her, and
damn it
, it seriously made her insides flip-flop. She tried for a neutral expression but was sure it came out as the worst resting bitch face in the history of resting bitch faces.

“I’m sorry, did I
eyebrow
you?” As he studied her reaction, Max seemed amused, sporting that classic cocky smirk on his face.

“Why yes, you certainly did.”

“And what is it about ‘the eyebrow’ that infuriates you so much, Ms. Evans?”

She shook her head playfully, ready to battle with him, but if she was going to ask something of him in a minute, she needed to follow her own suggestion first to make things fair. He needed to know it was okay to be open with her, and for that to happen, she would continue to set the example.

“It doesn’t infuriate me,” she answered, studying his face at the same time. She wanted his full attention, which she already had, but there was something commanding about his eye contact; it kept her focused on him, whether she wanted to be or not. “It turns me on, to be honest. It’s extremely sexy. It makes me want to jump you, strip your clothes off, and do things to you. And then more things.”

She paused and waited for a response. Nothing. His face was a blank slate as he stared at her. She knew he was processing her words without revealing a reaction. Classic Max McCallan, perfectly dialed into character. But his eyes… If she watched close enough, his eyes changed. And upon studying them specifically, she realized his pupils had dilated significantly.

“Does that answer your question?” she added, before she got so lost in his now-darkened sapphire orbs it would impede her progress.

Finally his lips parted. “Are you being an asshole?”

She laughed out loud, partly because it took her by surprise but mostly because he could turn things around so quickly. “No! I’m being serious! I’m being
honest
. I think it’s a waste of time to be anything other than that.”

His eyes traveled somewhere across the room as the smirk returned to his face. She liked watching him this way. She could stare at every beautiful little detail on his face without the intimidation of him staring back at her. His dark lashes that defined his eyes, his sexy lips, and the scruff on his face—which she was glad he hadn’t shaved yet.

Meeting her eyes again, he nodded. “Good to know.”

She waited for something more but got nothing. No smile, no frown, no expression…
Nothing
. “And?” she pressed impatiently. “Could you at least play fair?”

“What do you mean?”

“Stop with the flawless poker face.”

“I have a good poker face? How come it never works at the poker table?”

“Probably because you suck at cards.”

He finally laughed, and it seemed to come naturally. “That’s true, I really do.”

The light in his eyes when he laughed… Holy shit, it gave her goose flesh. “Good, the ball is rolling.”

“Excuse me?”

She paused to measure her words. “I’m going to make you a promise, Max. Listen carefully because I never break a promise.” He cocked that eyebrow at her but she chose to ignore it. “I will always be honest with you, okay? I will never lie to you, never say something I don’t mean just to please you, and I will never break your confidence or your trust. Anything you say to me stays with me, and any opinion you ask of me, I will always give you the honest-to-God truth.” She waited for a response. None. “Okay?”

“And you’re telling me…what? That I can open up to you? Tell you all my secrets? Give you an inside scoop on my family and you’ll treasure it like gold?”

She released a bitter laugh, instinctively fed up with the mockery. But looking at him now, sitting there on her couch with every single defensive wall up… It was actually a stab at her heart. She had to remind herself that this guy had been shamelessly fed to the media more times than she could count. This guy had been tossed around the news—his name carelessly rolled around on the loose lips of the public—and he had no control over what was said about him.

This guy had been loved and hated for reasons he probably couldn’t even define. 

“Yes, Max,” she answered softly, with more humility. “I will treasure anything you tell me. But most importantly, I want you to know you can one hundred percent be yourself with me. You don’t have to hide who you are.”

She saw him swallow. And that stoic, unaffected-by-anything look on his face first began to give way in his eyes. They transformed again, and even though nothing else on his face changed, she could see his mood soften from the inside because of those eyes.

Finally he took a deep breath, held it for a couple of seconds, and slowly released it. His shoulders relaxed, he cleared his throat, and then he ran his hand through his hair again.

“You know I’ve been told things like that before, right?” he asked softly, choosing not to look at her.

“And I’m sorry someone couldn’t be a confidante for you when you needed it.” Anna paused. “Is that what you mean? A female?”

“Male, female, doesn’t matter,” he waved his hand indifferently as he hung his head. “People don’t care about the consequences if it doesn’t involve them. Protect your own ass first, it’s rule number one in business.”

She nodded carefully. “I’ve had that drilled into me, as well. But even though I’ve had to watch my back quite a bit, I realized there’s one thing more important than looking out for yourself.” He lifted his head to look at her so she continued. “I’m far happier when I know my intent was good, no matter how something turns out. As long as I do my best—do what I know in my heart to be right—then it doesn’t matter how the chips fall. You gotta be right with yourself if you’re going to be truly happy in this world. But having people you can count on to have your back…you need that too.”

He rubbed his face with both hands. “Is it sad that the one person who makes my life miserable is the only person who actually does keep my life private?”

She frowned, understanding his frustration. “Your dad. Yeah, I get it. Because I’ve been there. My dad pushed me, and pushed me, and told me what I should do and what I shouldn’t do. He would deliberately feed pieces of my life to the media so they had
something
instead of fishing around for stuff that was none of their business. He’d announce my decisions to the public before I even had a chance to agree to them in the first place. He’d make sure I worked with who he wanted me to work with, and sign with the companies he wanted me to sign with. He took control of most of my money until I had to threaten legal action against him. Against my own father, can you believe it?” she laughed sarcastically.

Max was watching her carefully, his elbows on his knees, but his head turned her direction. “God, do we have the same father?”

She laughed humorously that time. “Sound familiar, huh?”

He licked his lips as he sat back on the couch, but he seemed to be in process mode again, completely expressionless.

“What about Kellie?” she dared to ask. “Aren’t you two close? Or your brother? I know you two have your differences but you can’t count on Teague?”

“I can trust Kellie, but I don’t share a lot with her. She knows a lot in a general sense, and she knows me as a person and will bust my ass when I’m out of line, but I try not to burden her with much. She’s got her own issues to deal with. And Teague…” He paused. “Teague has always kept my life private. He’s gone above and beyond, more than anyone.” He sighed. “I put him through hell and he still had my back. Even through the harsh words he threw at me and the hard feelings he felt—and especially the way I’ve acted sometimes in return—he still kept my worst secrets confidential.”

She wasn’t about to ask what those secrets were—maybe with time he’d share, but they weren’t significant at the moment. She knew he had a son. That news had broke sometime in the past couple years and it wasn’t a piece of information the public had ignored. “Sounds like you two have something that can’t be broken.”

“But how can I appreciate that when I’ve never given my brother the same?”

He seemed to be sincerely asking, and if it hadn’t been for the seriousness of the conversation, she would have had time to be overjoyed he was actually opening up to her.