Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4) (3 page)

Chapter Three

I hated weekends.

Weekends, for most college seniors, probably meant studying with a little fun time thrown in.

There was no fun time for me—hadn’t been in a long time.

I was stuck in this hellhole and the most exciting thing that ever happened to me was the rare late night study session at the local coffee shop/restaurant Griffin’s, with Rowan.

I used to be okay with that, but not anymore. I wanted a
life
, not…whatever this was.

I lay across my bed with my head propped against my hand. I’d finished my homework hours ago and had nothing else to do. I wondered how different my life
would have been if Graham had lived—if he hadn’t wrapped his car around a tree.

I’d never know though.

My phone chirped with a text and I rolled over to retrieve it from the table beside my bed.

I opened the text from Rowan.

Get your ass out of bed. We’re going to a party.

No way.
I typed back.

Yes u r. Don’t be stubborn. I need u 2 go so I’m not alone.

I sighed. Parties weren’t my thing and I knew they weren’t Rowan’s either. I needed to get out, though, and this looked like the only way.

With a huff, I typed,
Ok.

I’m sure Rowan was surprised I caved so easily. I wasn’t the most agreeable person in the world.

We’ll be there in 5.
Was her reply.

Since I was chilling in my pajamas, I scurried around to change. I didn’t have the wardrobe for a party, so
I had to make do. I shimmied into my favorite pair of jeans and put on a plain black long-sleeved t-shirt. It was nothing fancy, that was for sure, but I didn’t care. At least I’d be comfortable. I dabbed on a bit of makeup, not much, but enough to not look like I’d rolled out of bed, and braided my hair.

My dad wasn’t home, and since my mom was practically comatose it wasn’t like I had to worry about sneaking out.
Besides, I was twenty-two so technically I was free to do what I wanted, so why did I feel so caged?

A familiar black Dodge Challenger was parked by the mailbox. It was Trent’s—Rowan’s fiancé—car.

As I approached the parked car, Rowan hopped out and moved the seat so I could slip in the back.

“Evening, lovebirds,” I commented.

I might joke about Rowan and Trent’s deep love for each other, but those two had been through
a lot
and I truly was happy they’d been able to work it out. Rowan used to be so anti-love but after she almost lost Trent she turned into such a sap. If they weren’t so perfect for each other I would miss the old Rowan.

“Nice to see you too, Tate,” Trent chuckled, pulling away.

Like I always did, I looked back at my house. I didn’t know why, but I felt like one day it might not be there to return to. It shouldn’t have even mattered to me, since it hardly felt like a home.

“So,” I swiveled forward, “where’s this party?”

Rowan looked back at me, sweeping her long sandy hair over her shoulder. “Well, it’s at Jude’s.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Rowan flinched at my words and tone. I rarely ever cussed, and when I did it usually involved Jude in some form.

“I wouldn’t have come if I knew it was at his place,” I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. My lower lip threatened to jut out like a pouting child. “I already spent all afternoon with the guy, and now you expect me to spend the night with him too?”

“Not the whole night…unless you want to.” Trent winked as he looked back at me from the rearview mirror. Rowan smacked his arm.

“It’s a party, Tatum,” she sighed, exasperated with my behavior. “You might not even see him.”

“Why are you guys going?” I asked. “Don’t you have something better to do? Like sit around and stare into each other’s eyes? Or plan a wedding?”

“Jude invited me and I wanted to get out for a bit,” Rowan shrugged. “This is my last chance to do something like this.”

I guessed she was right, what with taking care of two kids. Rowan and Trent had a son together, a son Trent didn’t even know he had until a little over a year ago. In fact, I hadn’t even known Rowan had a son. She’d claimed he was her brother, and no one had a reason to doubt her. After her mother died, she also got custody of her little sister Ivy.

I didn’t say anymore, because I didn’t want to ruin tonight for Trent and Row. They didn’t get out enough as it was. At least they were happy unlike most people.

I didn’t know where Jude lived, but when we turned down a street lined with cars, I knew this must be where the party was. The townhouse was close to campus and I figured other college kids had to occupy the neighborhood to put up with all the people hanging around and the loud music. Trent parked the car along the street and we all hopped out. I suddenly felt very nervous. I hadn’t been to a party since high school and it hadn’t ended well.

I followed behind Trent and Rowan. I kept my head low—afraid of being recognized. To this day, some people still only saw me as Graham’s little sister—he’d always been popular and people older and younger than us knew who he was—and I couldn’t handle the looks of pity. He’d been gone for seven years now. I would always miss him, but I was no longer grieving.
But when people looked at me with such sadness it always brought back memories better left buried.

I stepped into the townhouse and was
shocked by the amount of people inside. I really regretted agreeing to this now. I hated mingling and I refused to be Trent and Row’s third wheel all night.

“I’m the designated driver,” Trent turned around to tell me, “so feel free to drink whatever you want.”

“I don’t drink,” was my response. I had never taken one sip of alcohol, not since Graham got drunk and crashed his car.

Trenton’s brows drew together. Before he could say anything more, I separated myself from them. I heard Rowan call my name but I didn’t turn back.

The three level townhouse was packed with fellow college students. I didn’t recognize most of them. Probably because I’d never made the effort to get to know anyone besides Rowan.

I pushed through the crowd of bodies, heading to the second level. I hoped it would be less crowded. Wrong.

There were buckets of ice, overflowing with bottles of beer. That wasn’t what I wanted. I sauntered over to the refrigerator, pushing people out of my way when I needed to, and searched for a bottle of water.

Mountain Dew.

Coca Cola.

Dr. Pepper.

And beer. Lots of beer.

Was this all college guys drank? They were going to have liver failure before their thirtieth birthday.

I grabbed a bottle of Dr. Pepper, it might not have been water but at least it wasn’t alcohol.

Some heavy rock song played from an iPod dock sitting on the counter. I was tempted to replace it with mine—which was filled with country, but I wasn’t in the mood to get in a fight with Jude or anyone else for that matter. I didn’t even want to be here. I wanted to go home. Was it acceptable to stay five minutes and leave? I totally would if I had my car.

You know, it was just my luck that the one time I wanted to get out and agreed to go to a party it would have to be at Jude’s. I couldn’t escape him no matter how hard I tried.

I spotted a couple making out on the couch. A part of me was disgusted by their display, but a small
piece was jealous. I’d never had a relationship like that. I wasn’t saying that I was the Virgin Mary, but I’d never been in love. There had never been a guy I pined for from afar. I hadn’t kissed someone in the rain. Or fought and made up. I hadn’t found someone worth sharing the darkest parts of myself with, or even the good parts.

I turned away from the couple before I got overly emotional for no reason.

I moved through the people gathered in the middle of the living room, looking for a place I could hide out until Rowan and Trent wanted to leave.

I spotted a door leading out onto the deck. No one was out there
, since it was such a chilly night, so I decided to make my escape there.

I was almost to the door when I spotted a bowl of gummy bears on the coffee table. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling as I recalled Jude telling me he loved them.

Feeling devilish I reached out for a handful, then decided to take the whole bowl. They were my gummy bears now.

Nobody paid me any attention as I slid open the deck door. I’d long ago realized that even though Graham
was the one that died, I sort of became a ghost too. I’d allowed that to happen by avoiding people, and refusing to get to know new ones, so it was my own fault.

The deck was small with two chairs. I picked one of the plastic
Adirondack chairs and looked up at the shining full moon and twinkling stars. It was such a pretty night. I thought people didn’t appreciate the beauty of the night sky enough. There was something breathtaking about its simplicity.

I propped my legs up on the railing and popped a gummy bear in my mouth. It tasted so good that I ended up eating another, and another, until half the bowl was gone and my stomach was starting to feel upset.

I laid my head back, my eyes feeling heavy. I
would
be the person to fall asleep at a party.

To keep myself awake, I chewed on some more gummy bears—probably not my most brilliant idea since I was already feeling sick. At least it would give me an excuse to leave.

I shivered from the cold, but I wasn’t desperate enough to go back inside and deal with that mess. I pulled my phone out of the pocket of my jeans, checking for a text from Rowan. Nothing. Grrreat. We had to have been here for at least an hour already. Surely that was enough time and we could leave. My bed was calling my name.

I sent her a text, asking her when they’d be ready to leave.

When I didn’t receive a response in five minutes, I was tempted to chuck my phone off the deck out into the dark void.

I didn’t.

The deck door slid open and I jumped at the grating sound. Relief flooded my system. Rowan hadn’t text because she was coming to find me.

Only
it wasn’t Rowan walking towards me. I didn’t have good enough luck for that to be the case. Instead, it was Jude.

He wore a pair of jeans and a plain white tee. His feet were bare and he was the picture of ease. He sat down in the chair beside me, smiling crookedly. “I was looking for you,” he said simply.

“Me?” I questioned with a raised brow. “Why?”

He shrugged. “When Rowan said you came, I was surprised. This doesn’t seem like your type of thing,” he nodded towards the door that kept us barred from the craziness inside.

“It’s not,” I agreed, looking away from Jude, “that’s why I’m out here. By myself,” I added, hoping he’d get the message and leave. He didn’t. Jude never did what you wanted him to. He always had to go against the grain. If there was ever anyone that I’d saddle with the label of REBEL it was Jude. Some of the things he’d done in high school were borderline illegal. He was always looking for something stupid to do and a girl’s pants to get into. He was charming and never had a problem with accomplishing either of those things. Except with me.

“You know you prefer my company to being alone,” he joked, his eyes twinkling with laughter.

“I’ve had my fill of you for the day,” I grumbled, propping my head up. I was really starting to get nauseous. I knew I shouldn’t have continued to eat those dang gummy bears. Jude’s presence was also adding to my upset stomach. I could only handle so much of the crazy things that came out of his mouth.

“I’d like to fill you up.”

My eyes bugged out. “You did not just say what I think you said.”

His smirk widened, and he scratched at his jaw—almost as if he hoped the gesture would help mask his smile. “I did, and I meant it.”

Leaning towards him with my eyes locked on his I spat, “Never gonna happen. Get that through your thick skull, Brooks.” That’s when I got a whiff of his cologne and my gag reflex kicked in. “Oh God,” I slapped a hand over my mouth. I stood quickly, forgetting about the gummy bears in my lap. The bowl fell to the ground and the gummy bears littered the surface.

Jude’s eyes flicked from the gummy bears to me and back
again. “Shit. How many of those did you eat?”

“A lot,” I replied when I had control of myself.

“Shit,” he repeated, thrusting his fingers through his hair so that it stood up wildly. “Those were soaked in vodka.”

“What?!” I shrieked, my voice so high that Jude flinched from the sound. “Who the hell does that?” I cried.

His laugh echoed around us—the kind of laugh that shakes your whole body and leaves tracks of tears down your cheeks.

“It’s a party, what did you expect?” He asked when he had control of himself.

“Not this,” I pointed to the mess on the deck. “You forgot to mention the vodka part when you told me you liked gummy bears.”

Still laughing, he said, “I only soak them in vodka for parties.”