“Come upstairs with us, Scarlett. I don’t want to say goodbye right now.”
She knew she’d be saying goodbye at some point tonight, but as she’d been doing since she’d first laid eyes on them, she refused to wallow in the future that lay ahead of her in Bent Creek.
“I don’t want to say goodbye, either,” she said. Possibly the most painful thing she’d ever said to another human being. A truth and a lie mixed up together. She didn’t
want
to say goodbye, but she’d have no choice.
They led her into the house and up two flights of wooden stairs to the third floor. Ray explained that single males and two mated groups lived on the third floor, each in their own bedroom. The second floor was the mated adults, kids, and Melody’s uncles. Melody and her mates and a pretty female bear named Lachlyn and her two mates lived on the third floor, along with a trio of mountain lion cousins.
Ray opened the door to what turned out to be Wesley’s room, a tidy space with a full-sized bed and dark blue carpeting. They were shy at first, and she knew she could have,
should have
, walked out and wished them well, but she didn’t. She let them touch her, pull the pretty gown from her body, and bare her to them completely. As eagerly, she stripped them and they fell into bed together like old lovers already in tune with each other’s needs. She’d never felt more complete than when she was in their arms, blissed out of her mind and spiraling from one great height of pleasure to the next. When she fell apart, their names were on her lips and she knew she’d never be the same.
Not only because they’d touched her so perfectly and so deeply she felt as if their souls were twined as one, but because she knew she was in the presence of her mates. It was a word she hadn’t dared to let traipse through her mind, because the long and short of it was that it didn’t matter. Her father would never allow her to mate two mountain lions. His territory was everything to him, and she was merely a tool to expand it. If the situation were as simple as being disowned and kicked out of the pack, she would gladly take that punishment in exchange for the endless nights promised in Ray’s and Wesley’s eyes. But in her heart she knew it wouldn’t be that simple. Her father would kill them and then he would punish her, or turn her over to her future mate to be punished.
Standing at the foot of the bed in her gown with her heels in her hand, she looked at the two sleeping males, memorizing everything about the moment. They were so handsome with their hair tousled, their eyes closed in sleep, and small smiles on their lips. She didn’t leave a note. What could she say, after all?
Thanks for rocking my world, and by the way, never try to see me again
.
That seemed even more harsh than stealing out of the room before dawn without a trace. She’d let Melody know to steer them away from her and trusted her best friend to do as she asked. She’d never share this night with anyone. What had happened between her, Ray, and Wesley was the most important thing in her life and she’d never forget them, no matter what the future held for her.
Blinking back the tears, she tiptoed from the room and out of the boarding house, leaving them far behind.
Seven Weeks Later
Scarlett looked at herself in the full-length mirror. The seamstress her father had hired was well-known to wolf kind, one of the best mating dressmakers in North America. Della was tall and lean, with graying blonde hair tucked into a tight bun. She wore a simple skirt and blouse, but Scarlett could tell that it had been handmade by someone with a lot of skill. She didn’t wonder at how much money her father was spending to bring the famed Della Lee to Bent Creek for a week to create Scarlett’s mating gown.
The strapless gown hugged her curves and molded her breasts in a way that was almost indecent. The gown was cream-colored, with a bodice covered with tiny crystals that glittered brightly, and a full skirt dotted with seed pearls. The many layers of tulle in the skirt and the crinoline underneath made her feel like a southern belle and as she stared into the mirror, she thought she didn’t look like herself. Scarlett was a girly-girl, but she wasn’t a frou-frou nightmare like the dress made her appear.
“This is the latest style,” Della said to Scarlett’s mother, who was sitting in a plush chair in a dressing room at a wedding shop in Bent Creek.
“You look lovely,” her mother said.
Scarlett looked at her mother’s reflection in the mirror. Although her mother was smiling, it didn’t reach her eyes. Scarlett knew that smile well. It was the smile her mother used when she had been ordered to agree publicly with her husband. Scarlett’s father, Quentin, ruled the pack with an iron fist. The older she got, the more she realized that her father’s iron fist applied to their home life, too. She always imagined her parents in love, because that was the picture they presented to the world. Now, she wasn’t so sure. She’d hoped to eventually love the male her father chose for her, but maybe she couldn’t or wouldn’t. Maybe, like her mother, after thirty-five years together, she would still find her mate unlovable.
What sort of male wanted a mate who had to be forced to marry him?
She shuddered at the thought.
“Leave us for a moment,” her mother said, standing gracefully. Della nodded curtly and walked out of the dressing room, shutting the door behind her.
Scarlett turned away from the mirror and the reflection of the glittering mate she was going to be and faced her mom.
“Where did the time go, sweet little angel?” her mom whispered as tears sparked in her brown eyes.
Scarlett’s eyes stung. “I don’t know, Mom.” She swallowed hard and fought not to cry. “I’m scared.”
“Breeding Queens don’t have a choice in their mates, my angel,” she said, touching the top layer of cream tulle. “That’s the way it’s been for generations.”
“Does he love you?”
Her mom didn’t meet her eyes, but continued to stare at the gown. “If he can love, then he does love me, but it’s not the love of fairy tales and happy marriages. We survive together because we must. To separate is to die.”
She didn’t have to guess what her mom meant by that; she knew all too well. Breeding Queens were so highly prized that a male would never give her up. If a queen left her mate, he would kill her. It was the highest insult to an alpha, and one that couldn’t be ignored.
“I never worry about your brothers. They’re alpha to the core and will always land on their feet. But you, my angel, I worry about you all the time.”
“Oh, Mom,” Scarlett said, reaching for her mom and hugging her. The two embraced for a long time, sniffling in each other’s arms. Scarlett and her mom had been close once, but as she grew older they had drifted apart because Scarlett had hated knowing what her destiny held. Melody had filled the void as Scarlett turned from her mother, who she saw as facilitating her unhappy future. Now, though, she saw her mother as a pawn in her father’s game.
“What does he gain?” Scarlett whispered.
Her mother straightened and brushed at her wet cheeks. “Territory. An alliance that will span the state and make ours the most powerful pack in the Midwest. And bring us some females for your brothers.”
Scarlett wrinkled her nose. “What?”
Her mother chuckled mirthlessly. “Your father chose some young females as mates for your brothers, but he’s simply bringing them to Bent Creek after your ceremony to live and not enforcing a mating with them, at least not for now.”
Somehow Scarlett wasn’t reassured that her brothers were in the same boat she was, with their mates chosen for them. She didn’t want anyone else to be in the same place she was. She felt sorry for the females, too.
She would meet her mate on Saturday. In eight days, her future would be in someone else’s hands. A stranger.
Della pushed the door open and strode in. “I have other places to be.”
“Of course, Della, I apologize,” Scarlett’s mother said, moving away and assuming the blank face of a woman who was used to hiding her emotions.
Della turned Scarlett roughly toward the mirror, fussed a bit more and then declared the dress perfect.
“Thank you,” Scarlett said dutifully.
Della unzipped the dress and Scarlett wiggled out of it and walked over to her clothes, folded neatly on the chair next to the one her mom was sitting on. The white satin corset was biting into her waist and she was relieved to take off her mating night garb. She’d been told to wear it all for the final fitting – corset, panties, garter belt, and heels. Human women probably loved putting on the things their future husbands were going to remove on their wedding night, but Scarlett felt nothing but dread as she quickly stripped herself of the too-white items and dressed in her favorite pink bra and matching boy shorts before donning jeans and a lavender sweater.
Della packed the dress in a white fabric bag and the owner of the dress shop carried it out to Scarlett’s mother’s car as if it were made of glass and more precious than diamonds.
“What was your dress like?” Scarlett asked as she buckled in and her mother turned the engine on.
“It was my mother’s. Her mother, my grandmother, made the lace herself. It was the most perfect shade of ivory, with long sleeves and a train.”
Scarlett frowned. “Why can’t I wear it? I’d rather wear something that has meaning than that fluffy nightmare.”
Her mom said nothing for several minutes and when Scarlett finally looked at her she realized her mother was trying not to cry. She stopped in front of Scarlett’s apartment building and put the car into park. “I begged him not to destroy it. I wanted to save it for my own daughter to wear someday. He…didn’t care.” She opened the glove box and pulled out a plastic zipper bag with a few scraps of lace in it. “I saved these pieces. They’re all that survived.”
Scarlett opened the bag and touched the beautifully detailed lace. “How is it possible that this is all that’s left of a dress?”
Her mother’s lips thinned into a white line for a long moment and then she said, “I was a virgin, and he wasn’t kind. The dress was shredded. I always thought he did it on purpose, that he knew the dress was important to me because my grandmother had made it, and he wanted to destroy any tie I had to my old life. That night was the first of many painful times for me. Eventually I grew to understand my own body and it wasn’t such a burden, but the joy of the mating bed was never mine.”
Scarlett hung her head. “Damn it, Mom, this is so unfair.”
“We’re Breeding Queens, Scarlett. I’ve been praying to the spirits of our ancestors since you were born that your father would choose a kind male for you.”
“Do you know who he is?” The announcement had come earlier in the week, when Melody, her mates, uncles, and two young males had come to visit. What should have been a happy day had been marred by just how little time Scarlett had left on her own.
“No, your father won’t tell me.”
“I guess I’m glad I’m not a virgin.”
Her mother snorted. “Your generation knows more about their bodies earlier than mine ever did. There was a time when a queen’s virginity was jealousy guarded by her father, to save for her future mate. That time is over, although your father did try hard to keep you away from males who might try to claim you for their own.”
Scarlett’s mind flitted to the two males who had claimed every inch of her heart. Even now, so many weeks later, she could still feel their hands on her skin and hear them whisper her name in pleasure.
“I’m going to get back to packing,” Scarlett said as she unbuckled her seatbelt.
“Would you like me to send Christian to help? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
Christian was the youngest of Scarlett’s twelve brothers, and the one she was closest to. She didn’t want to see him right now, though. He was as much a part of the problem as her father; all her brothers were. If they would stand up for her together, twelve against one, they could have put a stop to this. But her brothers wouldn’t go against their father. No one would. Scarlett was a cog in the wheel of her father’s plans, a stepping stone in his grand scheme to be the most powerful alpha in North America. She was betting he wished he had more than one daughter to barter.
“Thanks, but I’d rather be alone.”
“I understand. Call me tomorrow. We can have lunch this week.”
Scarlett nodded and got out of the car. Shutting the door, she waved at her mom and then watched her drive away. A black sedan followed, and Scarlett knew it was the guards her father had sent to follow them. He never let her mother go anywhere alone. She watched the scene, a glimpse of her own future, and turned on her heels to walk into the Luna Arms apartment building. She needed to decompress in her own place.
Her apartment was a single-bedroom on the first floor of Luna Arms, a pack-owned apartment complex that catered to unmated pack members. Her brothers also lived at Luna Arms. The entire first floor was occupied by the Jamison family, all thirteen of them. Her oldest brother, Joseph, was thirty-five, her youngest a bare year older than she at twenty-five. Her mother had spent thirteen years being pregnant and having children. Once Scarlett was born, that was the end of the pregnancies. Scarlett had never asked, but she’d wondered if her mom had found a way to stop biology permanently so she wouldn’t have any more children.
When she reached the glass front doors, she happened to glance at the call buttons for the apartments and noticed that the name tag she had placed next to her apartment’s button had been removed. She took a deep breath and tried not to throw up at the thought that someone – most likely her father – had ordered the name tag removed, just another way of showing that she was being slowly erased from the pack and her family, soon to be a part of someone else’s family and pack. Pointedly turning her head so she didn’t have to see the buttons, she opened the glass doors and strode into the foyer of the apartment building. At dusk, the doors locked automatically, unlocking again at dawn. She turned to the right, ignoring the sound of low talking in the open area to the left where pack members gathered to hang out. The building had apartments on four floors, but her family had decided to take over the first floor and she was thankful there had been an empty apartment for her. Going back to live with her parents after college had not been on her to-do list. She’d wanted to enjoy some freedom and know what it was like to live on her own.
The security door that separated the apartments from the shared living area was unlocked during the day as well, and she tugged the door open with enough force to make it crack against the wall. The sound of it made her feel like she’d relieved just a little of the tension she was feeling. Her apartment was the last one on the right down the long hall, and she passed her brothers’ doors as she slowly walked to her own apartment.
Opening the front door, she hung up her coat and went to the kitchen. Her stomach rumbled at the thought of finding something to eat and she realized she’d been so unnerved by the dress fitting that she hadn’t even bothered to eat breakfast. She hadn’t felt right for weeks, and she knew a lot of that was from missing Ray and Wesley. She didn’t have a real wolf inside her, although she was the daughter of one. Breeding Queens were not shifters. The only tie she ever felt she had to the wolf side of her heritage was that when she grew very angry, her eyes would turn amber the way a wolf’s would. But she had no claws or fangs at the ready to protect herself or others; she was simply a woman with a body made to have many children.
She pointedly ignored the box on the kitchen table where her dishes were supposed to go and pulled the fridge open. As she pulled a meal together, she thought about calling Melody and telling her what was going on, but knowing her bestie, she’d run to Bent Creek with her mates in tow and attempt to set Scarlett free from her genetic obligation. Which meant, of course, that she would never let Melody know just how freaked out she was with Saturday looming in the distance.
She bit into an apple slice slathered with peanut butter and looked out the living room window. She didn’t see the businesses that lined the street or the trees beyond; she saw only the pale autumn sky and wondered what Ray and Wesley were doing. She knew they’d been asking about her. Melody had sworn to protect Scarlett’s privacy and so had her mates, and it had driven a rift between the lions in the boarding house that Melody now called home. Scarlett rubbed at the space between her eyes with her thumb. Life was so fucking unfair.