Saving Sara (Redemption #1) (15 page)

“Sensational dinner. Thanks.” He kissed Cilla on the cheek. “If you’ll excuse Olly and me, we’re going to check out some new shark app online.”

Cilla frowned. “But we’ve got a guest.”

“We’ll only be gone a few minutes, won’t we, Olly?” Jake said, at the same time Sara piped up with, “I’m fine.”

Cilla’s frown deepened. “Okay, but if you’re not back in ten minutes, you don’t get dessert.”

Olly’s bottom lip wobbled. “Uncle Jake, I know I bugged you earlier to look at that app before dinner, but maybe we can wait ’til much later.”

Jake smiled and ruffled Olly’s hair. “The girls won’t eat our share of dessert.”

Olly pinned Sara with a stare. “Promise?”

Sara held up her hand. “Promise.”

“Yay.” Olly pushed back from the table and ran from the kitchen. “Come on, Uncle Jake. I want to see this app real bad.”

Jake sent Sara a pointed glare before following Olly at a more sedate pace.

When they’d left, Cilla gave up all pretense of eating and pushed her plate away, giving Sara the perfect in.

“Are you okay? You look tired.” Sara chose her words carefully, not wanting to make Cilla feel worse than she already did, if her woebegone expression was any indication.

“Didn’t sleep all night.” Cilla squeezed the bridge of her nose, as if staving off tears. “There’s no fool like an old fool.”

Increasingly uncomfortable at having this conversation with a woman she didn’t know well, Sara said, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but it can help.”

Cilla’s shoulders stiffened for a moment, as if she was trying to steel her backbone, before she slumped. “That date last night?”

“Uh-huh.”

“A disaster.” Cilla scowled. “I never should’ve put myself in that situation in the first place, so it’s my fault.”

Wary, Sara hoped nothing too untoward had happened to this nice lady. “Situation?”

“Young men have needs.” A blush stained Cilla’s cheeks crimson. “My date is a young man. Forty-two, to be exact. Which makes me eighteen years his senior and supposedly wiser.” She snorted. “So when a man asks me to his house, cooks me dinner, then expects more, I shouldn’t freak out.”

Oh dear. The conversation had moved from uncomfortable to downright terrifying. Sara didn’t want to discuss Cilla’s sex life, or lack thereof, now or ever.

“But I did. Totally freak out,” Cilla continued, oblivious to Sara’s awkward silence. “Told him to leave me alone.”

From the audible devastation in Cilla’s voice, Sara guessed this wasn’t what she wanted.

“Do you like this guy?”

Cilla gnawed on her bottom lip and nodded. “He’s sweet and gentle and utterly lovely.”

“Which means he’s perfect for you,” Sara said, reaching out to squeeze Cilla’s hand. “You’re like that too.”

Cilla blinked rapidly and Sara hoped she wouldn’t have to deal with tears too. “Aren’t you the slightest bit shocked by the age
difference
?”

Sara shrugged. “It’s irrelevant if you both want the same things.”

“I don’t know what I want.” Cilla deflated even more, if that was possible. “I’m so terrified of disappointing him that I don’t want to take things beyond friendship.”

Sara knew the feeling. After her marriage to Greg had imploded, she had no idea if she ever wanted to reconnect with a guy on that intimate level again. Jake made her feel things she hadn’t felt for a long time, prompting her not to get too close. Being attracted to a guy was one thing, but following through and getting physical involved opening herself up on a deeper level, one she had no intention of exploring any time soon. Sara could empathize with Cilla. How much harder would it be for an older woman whose husband had died decades ago?

“Friendship is good—”

“But I want to be with a man again, too. It’s been over twe
nty years.”

Uh-oh. They were definitely entering icky territory and Sara needed a deflection.

“Chances are he’s as bummed about all this as you are, so why don’t you approach him as a friend and explain?”

Cilla shook her head. “I can’t. Not after the way I ended things last night.”

Sara wanted to trot out a few trite platitudes, like “Nothing is ever as bad as it seems” or “It’ll all be better in the morning.” But she knew that wasn’t true. She knew firsthand, and had resented all those people who’d offered condolences when they didn’t have a clue what it felt like to lose a child.

The best Sara could offer was honesty. “I can’t profess to know what you’re going through but if you ever need to talk, I’m always a short stroll away.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Cilla reached over and hugged her, as Olly skidded into the kitchen with Jake on his heels.

“What’s the surprise dessert, Aunt Cilla? Because I’m starving.”

C
illa smiled fondly at Olly. “You only finished dinner five minutes
ago. How can you be starving?”

“Boys are always hungry.” Olly rolled his eyes. “Isn’t that right, Uncle Jake?”

“You’re absolutely right.” However, the way Jake stared at her, Sara wondered if he meant for food.

“Then you’ll love my lemon meringue pie,” Cilla said, getting up to serve dessert while Sara helped Jake and Olly clear the table.

“Yum,” Olly said, scraping scraps into the trash and handing the plates to Sara to rinse. “Not as good as Aunt Cilla’s apple crumble, but still yummy all the same. Will you have one piece or two, Sara?”

“One, please,” Sara said, and saw Jake eyeing her appreciatively, as if he didn’t mind if she had seconds. “For starters.”

As it turned out, Cilla’s lemon meringue pie was so good they all had two pieces, but when it came time to clear the table again, Cilla shooed her away.

“Why don’t you and Jake go for a stroll around the garden? Olly and I have this covered, don’t we?”

Olly appeared torn, like he’d rather be walking outside than cleaning up, before reluctantly nodding. “Okay, I’ll help clean up, because I’m family and Sara is a guest.”

Cilla smiled, her first genuine smile of the evening, and Sara hoped their chat had helped. Even though Sara hadn’t said much, she knew from experience that being allowed to offload to a good listener helped.

“You sure you don’t need a hand?” Jake asked his aunt, who gave him a nudge in the direction of the door.

“Go,” Cilla said. “It’s a beautiful night out there.”

Sara didn’t mind walking off her dinner, but the moment the back door closed and that darkness she’d been looking forward to earlier enveloped them, she realized this stroll might not be such a good idea after all.

She didn’t need the romantic ambience, not when she found Jake more appealing every time they met.

“How did your chat go?” Jake placed his hand in the small of her back to guide her onto the path and left it there, distracting Sara to the point she found it hard to put one foot in front of the other.

“You were right. Sounds like her date last night didn’t go so well.”

“If that guy hurt her, I’ll kill him.”

Jake sounded so earnest she smiled; his protectiveness was endearing. “I think it has more to do with her feeling out of her depth and not sure if she’s ready for anything more than friendship.”

“Oh.”

Jake’s one syllable sounded so uncomfortable Sara knew he’d understood more about what she hadn’t said than what she had.

“I’m glad she had you to talk to,” he said. “Thanks for that.”

“Cilla’s wonderful so it was no problem.”

They strolled through Cilla’s garden in companionable silence, the intoxicating fragrance of jasmine scenting the air, and when Jake slipped his hand into hers, Sara resisted her first instinct to pull away.

Walking hand in hand with a gorgeous guy through a darkened garden on a balmy evening felt decadent. Like a summer romance, fleeting and quixotic and too good to be true, but to be savored in the short term.

She’d confronted her fear of being around kids. Maybe she should allow herself to open up a little and just
feel
with a guy again too. Be in the moment without over-analyzing.

“Do you think she was trying to match-make by sending us out here together?” Jake stopped at the end of the garden, near a towering elm.

“Do you care?”

Because in that moment, with Jake staring at her lips like they were fruit ripe for the plucking, she sure didn’t. Crazy, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world to be finally taking a chance on living again, despite her misgivings when they’d met.

“She initially warned me off you,” he said, stepping closer, invading her personal space and setting her nerve endings alight. “Said you were too fragile and I wasn’t around for long so I should stay away.”

“And now?”

Sara held her breath as his fingertips skated across her jaw, his thumb gently raising her chin.

“Now, all I want to do is this.”

He lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers, a kiss filled with hope and promises. A kiss as light as air. A kiss to reawaken dreams.

Dreams she shouldn’t have because they couldn’t go beyond this. Dreams that were foolish at best.

Yet when Jake’s lips demanded more, Sara happily gave it, their tongues dueling with passion as he crushed her to him. Jolts of electricity sizzled through her body, sparking heat from her head to her toes and choice places in between, as, for the first time in forever, she experienced the kind of mind-blowing lust that eradicated
common
sense.

Sara had no idea how long they kissed, their soft moans the only sound in the still night. As their kisses deepened, Sara started to lose all sense of time and place. He devoured her and she matched him, a deep-seated desperation for pleasure rising from within.

Kissing Jake made Sara forget everything and for those interminable moments when their mouths fused, she allowed herself to just
feel
.

When they finally came up for air, they stared at each other in wonder, chests heaving, breathing raggedly in unison.

“That was . . .” Jake cursed softly under his breath and shook his head, lost for words.

“Wow,” she helpfully supplied, and the bewilderment in his gaze gave way to wonder.

“
Wow
is an understatement.” He ruffled the hair at the back of his head. “It’s been a while for me.”

“Bet it’s been longer for me,” she said, uncomfortable talking about this but figuring she owed him some kind of explanation for almost devouring him. “Greg, my ex, kept long hours at the office. I was too tired working full time and looking after Lucy after work to be interested in much else.”

Jake nodded, like he understood. “Work was my life too.
I dated occasi
onally but I haven’t for a while.”

“Let me guess: a while for you is like three months?”

He laughed at her teasing. “More like nine.”

“Try eighteen,” she said, with a grimace. “Even then, it was less than spectacular.”

Jake’s smile faded as he cupped her cheek. “We’re not just talking about kissing here, right?”

“Right.” She found herself leaning her cheek into his hand. “And please don’t misconstrue what I said, and think because we shared a monumentally stupendous kiss that I’m going to sleep with you, but I feel like we should talk about this stuff, so there’s no false expectations, you know?”

“Long speech.” Jake caressed her cheek. “Just so you know,
I don’t hav
e expectations.”

“Good.”

“But if that make-out session was any indication, we’d burn up the sheets.”

She shoved him away playfully, laughing at his outrageousness. “Let’s head back.”

“Running scared?” he murmured, snagging her hand again as they turned for home.

“Maybe running toward those sheets?”

She snatched her hand out of his and sprinted away, feeling happier than she had in years.

If one all-consuming, all-powerful kiss could do this, she couldn’t help but wonder what a roll in those sheets could do.

26.

J
ake gave Sara a twenty-minute head start before returning to the house. Twenty minutes where he strolled the garden perimeter ten times, pulled a few weeds and sat on a bench, contemplating that kiss.

She’d cited an urgent bathroom visit as her excuse to head back and he’d let her go. He could imagine her sitting at the kitchen table with Cilla, having coffee and trying to pretend that they hadn’t made out like a couple of randy teenagers.

Though calling what they’d done a make-out session was like saying Sara was pretty. Understatement of the year.

He could rationalize away his reaction to Sara as a case of neglected libido. But the way they’d gelled and melded and combusted? Like nothing he’d ever experienced before.

Dammit, he was hard again just thinking about it.

Sitting out here trying to get his head together wasn’t helping. Nothing would help. He’d be awake all night regardless of whether he did another lap or ten around the garden, remembering the way she’d felt in his arms, the faintest floral fragrance of her skin, the softness of her lips, the tiny moans . . .

Muttering a curse under his breath, he stalked toward the back of the house. They hadn’t had a chance to be uncomfortable with each other—she’d bolted that fast after the kiss—and the sooner they faced each other again the better. Maybe he could walk her home? Ask her out on a real date?

However, when he slipped through the back door, the house was silent and Cilla had left him a note on the table.

SARA HAD TO GO.

OLLY WAS TIRED SO I PUT HIM TO BED.

SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.

Well, guess that put paid to his grand plans to confront Sara and move past any potential awkwardness.

He paced the kitchen, as edgy as he’d been outside. It catapulted him back in time to the many floorboards he’d pounded in the kitchen back home, trying to work off tension caused by his father’s verbal abuse.

Back then Rose would calm him down. She’d make fresh lemonade, PB&J sandwiches and talk to him about the most mundane things. Stuff like her favorite boy band at the time, the latest trash talk from school, her most hated teacher. He’d listen to her rambling, not particularly interested in the useless information she’d share but appreciating her soothing tone and the calming effect it had.

He glanced at the phone. Rose was allowed weekly calls and it had been six days since their last chat. Surely a day wouldn’t make a difference?

Willing to risk the wrath of her supervisor, he dialed the number. Reception put him through to her supervisor, whose glowing endorsement of Rose’s progress made some of his tension drain away before he’d even spoken to his sister. She put him through to Rose’s room without a qualm.

As the phone rang, he almost hung up. What was he thinking, ringing his sister who was dealing with her own crap, in the hope she could talk him down off a ledge of his own imagining?

When she picked up, Jake vowed to make this a quick, st
ress-free ca
ll.

“Hey Sis, it’s me.”

“Jakey, so good to hear your voice. How’s my darling Olly? An
d you?”

“Olly’s fine. Missing you, but fine. And I’m great.” His standard response for any period in his life, even if it was the pits. “You’re sounding perky.”

“I’m feeling good. Really good.” Rose sighed. “Seriously, this is the best thing I could’ve done for Olly and me. I needed to get my shit together before I imploded.”

“Know the feeling,” he said, mentally cursing that he’d let slip so much without intending to.

“You’re not so great after all, huh?”

That was his Rose, astute as ever. She wouldn’t be satisfied with a brush-off, either. He’d tried that many times growing up and she’d never let him get away with anything.

“Being here in Redemption has helped. Caring for Olly, re-bonding with Cilla, hanging out with Sara—”

“Who’s Sara?”

“Our neighbor. I mentioned her last week?”

“Yeah, but not in that tone.” Rose snickered. “Your voice went all soft. Did something happen? Are you sweet on her?”

What could Jake say? That he wasn’t just sweet on Sara, he was ga-ga for her in a way he hadn’t been for any woman for as long as he could remember.

Sara challenged his previous status as Jilting Jake. Some of the ladies at work had dubbed him with the nickname after hearing some of his dating exploits on the airport grapevine, and it had stuck. Not that he’d cared. He’d never wanted a family, never wanted a long-term relationship or the risk that, when he came home from work at the end of the day, he might turn on the people he should love the most.

He’d tolerated enough of that from his dad growing up and
he’d never wa
nted to risk finding out if he was like his old man.
So he
had dated frequently, never went beyond a few dates, and never grew emotionally attached.

What was it about Sara that challenged his preconceptions and carefully constructed plan?

“Your silence speaks volumes, Jakey. You not wanting to talk about her tells me more than if you were waxing lyrical.”

There was no judgment in Rose’s voice, only teasing, and he found himself relaxing.

“I like her, Rosey-Posey. She’s amazing. And I think you’d like her too.” Which brought him around to broaching the subject he’d tried to bring up last week. “Redemption has been good for me. And Olly. I really think you should consider staying here for a while once you get out of rehab.”

“You can’t be serious?” Rose snorted. “What about finding a job? I need a steady income to support Olly and make rent. You know that.”

“The restaurant fired you without references. It’ll be tough.”

Jake heard Rose’s muffled curse and felt like a bastard for bringing her down with a healthy dose of reality when she’d been so upbeat.

“It’ll be easier to find another chef’s job in New York City than that backwater place.”

“There are a lot of restaurants here. And in the nearby towns. I reckon you could find a job here easily.”

“A temporary one?” Her derision saddened him. “Olly’s been uprooted enough. I don’t want him to think we’re moving to Redemption, only to find we’re back in the city when it doesn’t work out. I won’t do that to him. I can’t.”

“Fair enough.” He gave it one last shot. “But there’s something about this place that has helped heal me. And I’m hoping it can bring you peace in the same way.”

Very Dalai Lama of him, but it was true.

He’d been an emotional wreck when he arrived, operating like an automaton, getting through each day by sheer luck. Now, the nightmares had lessened and he didn’t wear a permanent scowl as a badge of his guilt. Sure, Cilla probably had more to do with that than the town itself, but being in a new environment had certainly helped.

Then there was Sara . . . He knew she was more than a distraction, something to focus on other than the guilt. She was much more, but damned if he could figure out what to do about it.

“I’ll think about it,” Rose said. “But I’m not a country girl. Never have been.”

“But maybe it’s a good environment for Olly? He likes it out here. He’s thriving.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath and cursed himself for being so insensitive. He’d made it sound like Olly hadn’t been doing so well before.

“We do okay, Jake. And I’ve pretty much been doing it on my own the last six months when you weren’t around.”

“Ouch.” He deserved that. “You know I think you’re an amazing mom, but Olly’s life has been uprooted a fair bit lately. I just thought it’d be good for him to stay here for stability.”

Rose blew out a long breath. “I said I’d think about it, okay? Don’t push me.”

“Would I do that?”

She chuckled, as he expected her to. “You’ve always been a bossy-boots.”

“Just looking out for you, kid.” And he always would. Their father had done a lousy job and Rose said Jake was the only guy she could count on in this world. He intended to keep it that way, until some intelligent guy figured out how great his sister was and captured her heart. Until that day, and an extensive vetting process, he was all she had.

“Thanks. Love you.” She made a smoochy sound. “Tell my baby I’ll call him tomorrow, okay?”

“Will do. Chat soon.”

Jake hung up, feeling lighter. Rose had sounded like her old self and he was incredibly proud of how far she’d come in her rehab. Chatting with her had calmed him, had made him see things far more rationally.

Ironic, that in encouraging her to spend some time in
Redemption
recovering, he’d had a light-bulb moment.

What did he have waiting for him back in New York City?

An apartment he could easily sublet. That was it.

Redemption had been good for him temporarily. What if he made it more permanent? Hung around even when Olly reunited with his mom?

Not that he’d impose on Cilla any longer than he had to, but he could find his own place. Rent for the rest of the summer. Spend more time with Olly and Rose if she decided to move out here for a while.

The fact that it would give him more time to get to know Sara and see what could potentially develop between them . . . Well, that was an added bonus.