Saven Defiance (The Saven Series Book 4) (39 page)

Vin looks pained and I feel for him. “His actions don’t reflect on you. Not in the slightest.”

“I didn’t know until recently.” Vin sighs as he shakes his head. A wave of sadness engulfs him.

“He’s been working with the VP this whole time, hasn’t he?” I ask, coming to the most logical conclusion.

Jarod sits up straighter in his chair and stares wide-eyed at Vin.

“I think so.” Vin rubs the scruff on his chin. “He went ballistic when I confronted him about it, and he refused to confirm or deny it. The only thing I know is that this is somehow connected with the Saven. He hates them, and he hasn’t stopped plotting to take Logan and Dante out.” Hanging his head, he averts his eyes.

He doesn’t need to say it. “And me too?” I ask in a calm, controlled manner.

“Yeah. He’s furious with you. You took him for a fool, and he’s not going to forget that in a hurry.” He leans across the table, a forlorn look dancing across his face.

“I’ll add him to the list.” I give him a one-shouldered shrug, deliberately downplaying it.

What’s one more enemy when I’ve already amassed quite an impressive list of adversaries?

“We need to stop him. Logan has regained control of Saven, and the ships here don’t pose any threat to us anymore. He was going to extract them, but I suggested he keep them here to offer protection against the Amaretti, but maybe it would appease G if they left?”

“No.” Vin vigorously shakes his head. “It’s safer if they stay here. If they leave, he’ll only accelerate his plans.”

“Personally,” Zac says, slouching in his chair, “I don’t see any issue with your dad’s plan. Let him nuke those alien bastards. We want rid of them. So what exactly is the problem.” He crosses his feet at the ankles and smirks.

“The problem,” Vin says, coming around the table, “is that the VD8 system is still in a pilot phase and has been largely untested. Even if my father was successful in luring the Saven and Amaretti into outer space, deploying the weapon at that range may still have far-reaching consequences. It’s far too risky, and if he was thinking logically at all, he wouldn’t even contemplate it. But he’s too far gone.”

“What you are saying,” Luc says, sitting up straight in his chair, “is that he will mostly likely wipe us out too?”

“It’s a significant possibility, yes.”

“Crap.” Jarod’s statement doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“How can we stop him?”

“I have an idea, but it’s risky.”

I half-laugh. “What ideas aren’t?”

“True,” he acknowledges with a brief nod of his head. “But this one is especially risky, and we only have a small window of opportunity. If my intel is correct, he is preparing to launch in five days. We’ll have to break into his facility before then and steal a component from the actual device. It’s a small electric blasting cap at the apex of the bomb, which will halt detonation. Without it, he won’t be able to fire the weapon.”

“Let’s do it,” Luc says climbing to his feet.

“That place is like Fort Knox,” Vin supplies. “And we’ll be going up against old colleagues, people we know. Are you prepared to live with your friends’ blood on your hands?”

“We are at war, Vin,” Zac pipes up, in a derisive tone. “War means sacrifice.”

“We are supposed to be at war with the enemy, not each other,” I supply. “Is there no way of reasoning with him? Isn’t there anything you can say to deter him?”

“We’ve gone beyond that, Sadie. Short of delivering you and Logan to him …” He lets his statement hang in the air.

My mind starts whirling, computing ideas. “Maybe that’s not such a bad suggestion.”

Zac barks out an amused laugh as Jarod and Ax both scream “No way!” in unison.

“Rylan,” I say, turning to face him. “When Dante
controlled
you back in the desert”—I am careful not to give too much away. I don’t want them to be aware of how the Saven can use astral possession to take control of our bodies. That would only give them additional reason to hate Logan and his kind, add more fuel to the fire—“you had no choice but to do and say as he instructed, right?”

“Right.” His unhappy look tells me it’s still a sore subject, and I’m sorry for having to broach it. “So, if Logan and I handed ourselves in, he could take charge of G in the same way and give the order to allow Vin access to the missile. Then he could remove the blasting cap and disable the weapon.”

“And,” Jarod interjects, “not that I fully understand what you’re talking about, but, if it was possible to do that, I could get into their systems and completely shut it down.”

Strong hands grip my upper arms, pinching tight. I’m spun around to face Zac. “What are you talking about? What else can the Saven do?”

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with.” I slant a challenging look at him, barely resisting the urge to stick my tongue out.

A glint of anger flashes in his eyes as he leans into me, his warm breath leaking over my face. His nails dig into my flesh, and I try to wriggle out of his grip. “Let go of me.”

Zac’s lips curl into an unpleasant grimace as he leans closer, the tip of his nose brushing against mine. Ax roars, springing up and lunging at him. But Luc is faster. Grabbing him from behind, he pins him in place at the arms. Ax is thrashing about like a maniac, so tightly strung that it doesn’t take much provocation to set him off.

Jarod is in front of Zac. “Let her go,” he seethes, his eyes narrowing on the spot where his fingers prod my skin through my shirt.

Zac releases me and steps back, holding his hands up as he fights to keep a simpering smile off his face. Fire tingles in my cells, and I wish I could tap into my gift. I’d love to blast his butt into outer space.

A sudden weariness engulfs me, and I’m bone tired. Shattered and fed up. “God, I’m so sick of all this,” I mumble to no one in particular as I slump into a chair and hold my head in my hands. The room quiets. Exhaustion rears up and slams into me, and I know I’ve reached my tipping point.

I’m done with this.

All of it.

I stand up. “I need to sleep.”

Ax steps toward me, circling his arm around my lower back. “Come on, I’ll show you to your bunk.”

“Sadie? If you still want to visit Ella, I’ll take you to her grave in the morning,” Jarod says quietly. “I need to touch base with another one of our contacts, to clarify if Vin’s intelligence is correct. The graveyard is on the way, so we can make a detour, if you like.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

He kisses me tenderly on the forehead. “You look exhausted. Get some rest. We’ll continue discussing our options, and I’ll update you in the morning.”

Rylan leaves with us, and we walk in silence back out into the large open space. The lights are dimmed, and the only sound in the room is the murmur of hushed conversations. Ax leads me by the hand, past rows of occupied beds, to a section of bunks nestled into a far corner of the room. Izzy is already tucked up in a top bunk, her chest rising and falling as she sleeps. Ax indicates I’m on the lower bed, and I kick off my shoes and toss my jacket on top of the comforter.

I change in the bathroom and pad carefully back to my bunk. Ax has turned down the covers and left a glass of water by my bed. A sorrowful pang hits me in the chest. He still wants to take care of me, even though I give him very little in return. I snuggle under the covers and turn on my side. Ax is in the bunk facing across from me, studying me with another strange expression. “Goodnight, Sadie,” he whispers.

“Night, Ax.”

I close my eyes and I’m out for the count before I even realize it.

Water beads on my skin as I race up the slope, giggling and shrieking like a little kid. I’m wearing a rather revealing black and gold bikini that clings to my curves, leaving little to the imagination. I pick up my pace and power ahead. Ax gives chase, teasing me the entire time. Reaching the summit of the cliff first, I thrust my tiny fist into the air. “I know you let me win,” I say as Ax materializes alongside me, “but I’m still claiming victory. And I’m never going to let you forget it either!”

Wrapping his arms around me from behind, he rests his chin on my shoulder. “I’m down with that. I never want to forget this day.” His face glows. Twisting me around in his arms, he kisses me. Deeply. Passionately. Showering me with love. His hands roam up and down my body in comfortable strokes. When his fingers land on my butt, I reach around and remove them.

“Naughty boy,” I mock chastise him as I pull back, obviously breathless from his kissing prowess.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” He winks as I turn a habitual shade of red.

“Jump in together?” I suggest.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Taking my hand in his, he ushers me forward until we are standing on the edge of the cliff looking at the serene blue water below. Sheer craggy walls surround us on two sides, sheltering a secluded lake that fronts an enormous waterfall. Veils of mist swirl through the air, and tiny particles of moisture land on my skin. Brightly colored plants and shrubs dot the tiny cove on all sides, and iridescent light bounces off the gently dappling lake. Water gushes powerfully from the waterfall. A steady stream cascades over the edge, falling languorously into the pool below.

There isn’t a sinner in sight. It’s like our own private sanctuary.

“On the count of three,” Ax says, with a devilish glint in his eye. He grips my hand tight as I peer over the edge and gulp. “One, two …”

I scream as he pulls us over the edge, my legs flailing about as we plummet toward the water.

We hit the water, going under for a few seconds, before resurfacing, spewing water from our mouths and laughing. I slap him about the chest, and he yanks me into his arms. “No fair.” I pout as he sweeps plastered hair back off my face.

“Admit it. You love it when I—”

“Cheat?” I interrupt, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

Securing his arms under my butt, he keeps us afloat in the water. “Indulge your wild side,” he corrects before crashing his mouth against mine.

I kiss him back with an equal fervor, and though we are in the water, things quickly turn heated. With agile fingers, he removes my bikini top and flings it away. His hands and mouth go to work, and I arch my back as he lavishes my body with attention. We shed the rest of our clothes in a hurry, our mouths still fused together like it’s some new method of breathing. We move as one conjoined force of nature, mouths meshed together as our bodies sync, finding a natural rhythm.

I wake up with a jolt, heart thumping and my body pulsing with need. Sweat drips down my back and in the gap between my breasts. The dream-slash-memory resurfaces in vivid detail, and tears stream out of my eyes. A huge sob travels up my throat and escapes my mouth. Ax is beside me in a jiffy, rubbing his sleep-laden eyes awake.

He’s so attuned to me, and it breaks my heart. The more my memories resurface, the harder it is to deny his feelings. Life has dealt him a really shitty hand, and I can’t help feeling partly responsible. Claiming I’m a guilt-free zone is becoming more and more of a lie. I hate that he’s hurting because of me, and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to break the news to him about Logan and me.

Ax doesn’t hesitate, cradling me in his arms. I recoil from his embrace, pushing him away. I can’t bear his touch, not after what I’ve just witnessed. It all feels so wrong. Logan is my partner for life, and I don’t want to remember my past with Ax. I don’t want to remember how comfortable I felt in his arms. How easy and natural it appeared to be. And I hate that my body still reacts to his touch. I deplore the whole messy situation. Though the thought is wrong on so many different levels, I wish someone could erase
me
from Ax’s mind. To give him some peace. To enable him to move forward with his life. To free me from this crippling guilt.

All my anguish releases in one ugly torrent. Everything I’ve been trying to keep caged inside. Pain and grief over Ella. Sadness for Ax. Guilt about Logan. Worry for the world. All wrapped up in an unhealthy layer of self-revulsion and loathing. I sob relentlessly while Ax looks on forlornly, his fists twitching at his side.

My eyes hone in on a small circular pink chip on the bed, and I stop crying. Squinting behind blurry eyes, I reach out and pick it up. It’s filmy and cool to the touch. “What’s this?” I arch a brow.

“Nothing!” Ax snatches it from me and spins around on the bed, putting his back in my face.

Weird.

“Sorry,” I mutter, when he turns back around.
Sorry for everything. For messing up your life so spectacularly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks softly.

I’m not sure if it’s wise, but I want to tell him. Maybe it will give some substance to my claims—that I do still care about him even if the nature of our relationship has changed. I look up into his adoring gaze and sadness consumes me. Ax deserves to be loved. If things were different, and I hadn’t met Logan, I can see how easy it would be to fall in love with him all over again. “I had another recollection. At least, I think it was, unless it was just a dream.” My lip wobbles.

“Tell me.” He moves to wrap his arms around my waist, but I shake my head. His mouth droops as his arms fall loose at his side. Another pang of guilt washes over me, but I can’t permit him to touch me, no matter how much the vision upset me or how natural it feels to be held in his arms. It would only confuse the situation, and that’s not fair to him.

“We were in this beautiful cove, with an amazing waterfall and …” I trail off as I look up at him. A huge smile transforms his face.

“It’s the Felanga Nature Reserve. We had permission to vacation there once a year, for a weekend, provided we were escorted by guards. You loved it there.” His eyes glisten as he conjures up memories in his mind.

No wonder I always hankered to see the sea.

“I didn’t see any guards.” My brow furrows.

“Were you wearing a black and gold bikini, by any chance?” He grins knowingly. My brows flick up. “For only some of the time?” He speaks intimately in my ear, and his warm breath lingers on my skin, heating certain parts of me. Hugely uncomfortable, I crawl down the bed until I’ve created some space between us.