Saved by the Music (Saints & Sinners Book 2) (19 page)

Jackson grinned, and Ashlee smiled lovingly at him. “He got all that smooth talking from me.”

Sam laughed, truly laughed, for what felt like the first time in a long while. “How about we try and save these centers?” he said when he finally calmed himself down.

Jackson nodded at him. “I’m all ears. Let’s go to my office.”

Sam looked over at Ashlee, squeezing her hand one more time before they went into the meeting that would shape his legacy.

ASHLEE

Ashlee was still reeling from the high of meeting with Jackson. There was always a moment when all the pieces came together just right. Sitting in Jackson’s office, going through the pieces of their plan to not only save the community centers but expand as well, and seeing the hope on Jackson’s face, made the late nights worth it.

She stared out the window of Sam’s truck as they drove back home, a big smile on her face. “I can’t believe how well that went. I was so scared he wouldn’t like our ideas.”

“He loved your ideas, just like I knew he would. He’s a good man, and we’re helping him keep his dream alive.”

She squeezed his hand over the steering wheel. She loved how much he cared, but she also knew the weight of the responsibility.

Sliding over to him, she pressed a soft kiss to his beard-covered cheek. “You really respect him, and now that I’ve met him, I can understand why. He’s a great man.”

“He’s the best. I don’t know where I would be without him. Everything I have is because of him, so to be able to help him like this, it’s the least I can do.”

“You guys are lucky to have each other. Are you excited about your boys’ night in?” She held back her laughter. “Boys’ night” was code for the band members babysitting Emma while Ashlee and Trish enjoyed one too many margaritas.

Sam flashed that grin at her, and she melted a little in her seat. “I get to spend it with a gorgeous little lady, so really I’m the winner here,” he teased her playfully.

“Should I be jealous?” she asked, playing along. She had never been the jealous type until Sam. When it came to him, she could definitely see herself meeting the green giant on more than one occasion.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and she leaned in to him. “Nah, she’s a year old. She’s not ready for a relationship.” He kissed the top of her head; God, she loved it when he did that.

“Good, because I’m kind of fond of you, and I would’ve hated to hurt this pretty face,” she told him honestly.

He pulled over to the side of the road so fast she barely had time to register what he was doing. He parked the truck and turned his body to the side so he was facing her. She didn’t know what to make of the look on his face; he was so serious. He brought his hands up to her cheeks and pressed his palms to her skin.

“I would never cheat on you, Ashlee. I would never do anything that would hurt you, ever. You mean the world to me, and I would never do anything to jeopardize what we’re building together. I’m in this for the long haul.”

She couldn’t breathe. She literally could not breathe.

“You have a way with words, Sam,” she whispered before closing the distance between them and kissing him softly
.
He tasted like tea, and Sam, and she never wanted to stop kissing him. In this moment, she felt like coming home. He took control of the kiss and took it deeper, tilting her head to the side.

A car honked as it passed them and she pulled away laughing, having completely forgotten they were on the side of the highway. “We should probably go home before we get a ticket.”

“It’d be worth it, but let’s get you home. I have a hot date to get ready for.”

Three hours later, Ashlee and Trish were deep into their second round of margaritas, sitting in Sam’s kitchen. She loved the house so much that when Trish asked if she wanted to go out or stay in, she didn’t hesitate; she could spend every minute of every day there and would never complain. She could see herself raising kids, coming home to Sam working in the studio, building a future together in this house, and that was what made a house a home.

“I love my husband, and I love Emma, but God, does it feel nice to have a night out of the house,” Trish said from her seat at the kitchen bar, sipping on her margarita. After the outburst with Sam’s father, everyone agreed that some downtime was needed.

Ashlee took a sip of her own margarita and sighed. She wasn’t a big drinker, but sometimes a girl just needed a margarita. “You’re a minute away from picking up that phone and checking in on them, aren’t you?”

Trish raised her hands in defeat and giggled. “You caught me, but this is the only way I’ll get the dirt on you and Sam.”

“There is no dirt, Trish.” She lied through her teeth; there was so much dirt she didn’t know where to begin. She had spent her whole life taking care of her family and then nourishing her business, leaving her personal life on the back burner. But with Sam as a permanent fixture in her life, everything she thought she knew about what she wanted was quickly flying out the window.

She loved him, she really did, but there was so much they hadn’t talked about yet, and that left her with a million questions. Could they really do this? Could she give parts of herself up to make their relationship work?

“The fact that you’re saying there is no dirt means there is. I will get you to spill, Ashlee.”

Trish’s voice snapped Ashlee out of her thoughts. She took a big gulp of her drink, desperate for the liquid courage she needed to get through this conversation. “Honestly, Trish, there is no dirt. Things are good between us, really good. He’s sweet, generous, and attentive, and plus, have you looked at the man? He’s perfect, Trish. And I’m just me. I’m nothing special, nothing unique, just plain old boring me. This whole life, it’s not something I’m used to. I don’t know if I can get used to it.” She took a deep breath after finally letting it all out. Saying it aloud felt so damn good.

“This life is crazy, Ashlee, that’s a fact. But if you love him, it’s all worth it. Every choice we make, every sacrifice, it’s all worth it because we love them. The crazy fans, the press, the scrutiny—we make it work because we love them. So the question you need to ask yourself is do you love him?”

Trish leaned over the table, and Ashlee knew she had two choices: she could lie to herself, or she could be honest.

“I love him so much, Trish. Losing him would kill a part of me that I could never get back, but disappointing him would kill all of me.”

“Ashlee, honey, he loves you. You could never disappoint him.”

Before she could answer, the sound of her phone ringing echoed in the kitchen. Ashlee reached for it and frowned when she saw the name of the hospital where her mom had been transferred.

“It’s the hospital,” she said to Trish before answering. “Hello?” she whispered, unaware that her whole life was about to be thrown upside down. As she listened to the man on the phone speak, she felt herself grow weaker with every word.

This can’t be happening. It has to be a dream.

The next thing she knew, her phone was on the floor and tears were flowing down her face.

“Ashlee, what is it? What’s going on?” Trish rushed to her side, but Ashlee barely registered her presence over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. The tears wouldn’t stop streaming down her face.

“Ashlee, talk to me. What is it?”

“My… my mom… she died.” As she said the final words, she crumpled to the floor and screamed her pain away.

SAM

Sam rushed through the hospital hallway, ignoring the stares along the way; nothing else mattered except getting to Ashlee. Ever since receiving the call from Trish, telling him about Ashlee’s mom passing away, he had been in fast forward, desperate to hold the woman he loved. He knew this would break her.

He stopped in front of the hospital room Trish had texted him about, and the sight before him crushed something inside him. Ashlee was in the bed, lying beside her mother’s lifeless body, holding her for dear life. Her crying was the only sound filling the room, and for the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do to help the person he loved.

He walked toward the bed. “Ashlee, baby….”

Her cries grew louder, and he saw her whole body shiver. He knew he needed to get her out of there as soon as possible. “Ashlee, we can’t stay here. Let’s go home.”

“I… can’t leave… her… I can’t….” The rest of his heart broke in that moment. He pushed her hair back from her face; her eyes were red and puffy, her face pale.

“Baby, let me take you home. Let me take care of you.” He pressed a soft kiss to her hair as he slipped one hand around her waist, the other under her knees.

He slowly lifted her off the bed, cradling her trembling body. She pressed her face to his chest and sobbed against him.

“I got you, baby. I got you. I’m not letting you go. We’ll get through this together.”

“She’s gone, Sam. She’s gone….” He didn’t know what to say, so he held her tightly and got her out of that hospital as fast as possible.

When they arrived home, Sam carried Ashlee out of the car and into the bedroom. He laid her down carefully on the bed and helped her out of her clothes, grabbing one of his old T-shirts from the drawer before heading back to her. “Can you lift your arms for me?”

She looked straight ahead, and he swore she was empty inside. She lifted her arms, but her eyes never left the wall. He slipped his shirt over her head and helped her situate her arms. Pulling the covers back from the bed, he removed his jeans as well as his T-shirt. He climbed under the covers and tugged Ashlee to him.

She glued herself to his body, and he pressed his hand to her lower back. “Let it go, baby. I’ve got you.”

That was all it took for her to start crying and sobbing. He had no idea how, but he knew that together, they could get through anything.

Chapter Thirteen

SAM

The last few days had been some of the most emotional of Sam’s life, and he wasn’t even the one grieving. Ashlee was as grief-stricken as a person could be, and in all honesty, he had no idea what to do to help her. In all his wisdom, this was one of the things he didn’t know how to handle. He didn’t know how to make her pain go away, how to make her see the light after the darkness, or how to put the pieces back together. The only thing he could do was be there for her, and hold her; he had never felt so useless in his whole life.

Sitting in his studio, he couldn’t hold back the melody floating in his heart; it was sad, and it was gut-wrenching, and he couldn’t keep it in. In a musician’s career, there was always that one song that marked them, the one song that changed their life. In that moment, and in that instant, he knew this would be the song.

He was so lost in the music he almost missed Ashlee’s footsteps as she walked in front of him. When he looked up, his breathing stopped. She was so fucking beautiful with her hair falling down around her face and not a trace of makeup, wearing nothing but an old Saints and Sinners T-shirt that was so faded he could almost see her skin.

“I didn’t want to bother you. You looked so focused.” Her voice was sleepy and so damn sexy he could barely stand it.

“You never bother me, Ashlee. I love it when you watch me work.” And that was the God’s honest truth; he loved having her eyes on him, and it didn’t matter what he was doing.

She walked closer and sat on the lounge chair in front of him, tucking her feet under her legs. “Are you working on something new?” She tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah, I think everything that’s been going on lately is unleashing something really good.” He put his guitar down beside him and rose to his feet. “You look beautiful in my shirt.”

He had never been as attuned to someone’s feelings and emotions as he was with Ashlee’s. One look into her eyes and he could tell everything she was feeling, everything she was keeping bottled up inside. As frustrated as he was with her for not opening up to him, for not letting him help her, he also understood that she needed to go through some of her emotions by herself. That didn’t make it any easier to stand back and watch her fight a battle with grief.

“I like wearing your clothes. They smell like you.” She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face into his chest. He encircled her waist and held her close against him. He could feel her breath through his shirt and knew without the shadow of a doubt that he wanted moments like this for the rest of his life. Nothing else compared.

He bent his head and kissed the top of hers, taking the time to inhale the lavender scent of her shampoo. “Let’s go upstairs, and I’ll make you pancakes. How does that sound?”

“I could eat your pancakes.” She tilted her head up and smiled at him for the first time in days. He clung to it as hope they would soon get through this rough patch.

“I knew you were only with me for my amazing pancakes.”

She grabbed his hand as she leaned in to him. “And your incredible body.” She giggled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

His hand traveled to her hip, pulling her in closer to him until their bodies were flush against each other.

The kiss deepened naturally. God, he’d missed her, missed this connection they had when they were together. He knew this would get out of control if he didn’t stop it; he wanted her more than anything, but she wasn’t in the right state of mind. He kissed the corner of her mouth and slowly pulled away. She was so gorgeous standing in front of him, her lips swollen from his kiss, that he almost dove back for more.

“Come on, let’s feed you.”

She pressed her forehead against his and nodded. He grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently before heading toward the stairs. They walked hand in hand, her head resting on his upper arm. When they reached the kitchen, he grabbed her by the hips, making her squeal.