Saved By Him (The Monster Series Book 2) (11 page)

Everything is just so confusing! I used to be in charge of all the slaves. They hated me for it but they wouldn’t dare touch me. I use to be Master David’s favorite. Rosa replaced me and I got sent away. I still don’t fully understand why I wasn’t good enough anymore, but this place – everyone here – I don’t understand any of it.

I’m scared and confused, and I can’t even talk to Jack. Mistress River is always with him.

Back at Master Cameron’s mansion I had my own room where I could be alone at times. I miss that most.

I miss my routine, of knowing exactly what was expected of me.

I miss being wanted and needed.

I swallow hard on the tears as a heavy feeling squeezes my chest. I focus on peeling the potatoes and doing what I’m told. I focus on the now because I have no idea what will happen in an hour, tomorrow or next week.

I don’t know anything anymore.

Adam~

We sit down to have dinner with Nanna. Sophia keeps her eyes on the plate in front of her not even looking up when Nanna talks to her.

I get the feeling something happened today. “Sophia,” I say softly.

She swallows hard on the bite of food she just took. “Yes, Master?”

I reach over and feel her forehead. She’s not hot. “Are you feeling okay? How’s the pain?”

She takes a deep breath and then forces a smile to her lips. “Miss Ella gave me painkillers. I’m feeling okay.”

I look at Nanna and frown. “What happened while I was gone?”

Nanna looks at Sophia and then sighs heavily. “She’s been like this ever since River mentioned that she should share a room with Diane and Lizzy.”

Sophia brings the fork to her mouth and I notice her trembling hand. I gently place my hand on the back of her neck and I feel her tense.

“You don’t have to share a room with them,” I say, hoping it’s the only thing that’s wrong. “Is that what’s wrong?”

She places the fork back on the plate and just keeps staring at the food. “I don’t mind, Master,” she whispers, and the numb tone grates at my ears.

I get up and take Sophia’s hand. “Thank you for dinner, Nanna.”

Nanna smiles at me, her eyes shining with tears. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

“Thanks, Nanna.”

I pull Sophia closer and link my fingers with hers. I walk out the backdoor and she sticks close to me. We take a few steps into the darkness when she slows down next to me. I glance at her and see that she’s staring up at the night sky.

I look up at the clear night. It’s beautiful out here. The stars are out in full force tonight.

I slow my pace so she can look around. We walk past the guest houses which the guards use. Tristan comes out of his as we pass his house.

“Nice night for a stroll,” he says and then walks in the direction of the house. I know he’s going to check on Diane. I’ve seen him watching her. I once asked if he had feelings for her, which he of course denied.

When we get to my house, I open the door and then smile at Sophia. “Go in.”

She takes a few tentative steps inside and then stops.

“Welcome to my home,” I say as I walk past her. “I have two bedrooms. You’re welcome to have the guest room, then you won’t have to share. It’s more private here.” I open the fridge and pull a face at the contents. “I can only offer you beer or coffee.” I look at her and the pure look of stunned surprise on her face guts me.

I walk over to her and duck my head closer to hers. “Tell me what happened today. What upset you like this?”

She shakes her head and her hair falls over her face. She’s healing fast, the black marks around her eyes are fading to brown.

I take hold of her chin and I nudge her face back up, forcing her to look at me.

“Tell me, Sophia.” She takes a breath and opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. “When I left you this morning you were doing so well.”

She bites her bottom lip her whole face crumbles. Tears sneak from her eyes, each one finding its way to my heart.

“Sweetheart,” I whisper. I pull her into my arms and gently caress her hair. “Tell me so I can fix it.”

She covers her face with her hands and her shoulders jerk with her cries. Fuck, this is breaking my heart. She didn’t cry after the beating and that must’ve hurt a shitload. She’s been putting up such a brave front.

“I’m … scared,” she finally sobs out. She takes a shuddering breath. “I don’t … understand … anything.” Her crying gets worse and she looks up at me with the bluest eyes, swimming in fear and confusion. “I … I want to … please Master, but I … I don’t know how.” She slips from my arms to the floor and kneels in front of me. She scoots close to my leg like a dog. “Tell me what … to do. I’ll do it Master! I’ll be … good,” she hiccups all through the words.

Rage explodes white and hot behind my eyes. I’m shaking from the anger pulsing through my body. I’m going to kill every last fucking one. I am, I swear I am!

I kneel down in front of her and cup her face with both my hands. “This must all be so confusing to you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Her eyes keep darting from my chest to my face and then back down. She’s totally out of balance. She’s busy losing her old habits, but she doesn’t have new ones and that makes her feel lost.

“I’m going to tell you exactly what I expect of you, Sophia. Everything you learned through your life was wrong. I’m going to teach you the right way.” I get up and pull her up alongside me. I walk over to the couch and sit down, then I pull her down next to me. I place my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my chest. I lean my cheek on her head.

“My parents died when I was young, so Nanna raised me. She taught me everything I know. You like Miss Ella, don’t you?”

She nods against my chest. “I do.” The words come out hoarsely from all the crying.

“She told me a good person will always look you in the eye. Bad people don’t make eye contact. You were taught to never make eye contact because those people didn’t want you to see the real them, the monsters they are. They didn’t want to see the person you are, the person they were hurting.”

Placing my hand on the side of her jaw, I nudge her face up. “I want you to look me in the eyes, because I want to see what type of person you are. I want you to look in mine, so you can see I’m not one of those people.”

She turns her face slightly away from me and whispers, “What if I’m bad? What if Master looks in my eyes and Master sees that I’m bad?”

I bring her face back to mine and I’m happy when she makes eye contact this time. That’s one win.

“Sophia, we all have good and bad in us, but it’s your reason behind your actions that matters. The people you’ve known all your life were greedy, sadistic monsters. Everything they did was for their own gain.” I take a deep breath and I hope what I say next won’t set us back a step. “Good people aren’t supposed to kill other people.” She gasps and her eyes drop back down. I quickly rush through the words. “Some of us do it anyway. Some kill for the pleasure of taking another’s life, and they are bad. Some kill to protect others, and I’d like to believe that they are good. Some kill to protect themselves, and I can’t possibly believe that makes you bad. You have a right to defend yourself and those you love.”

I lift her face back to mine and whisper, “I’ve killed people. I’ve killed bad people and people who have been a threat to my loved ones. I’m not proud of it, but I’d do it again to protect them. To some people there is no excuse in taking another’s life, but those people have never faced a moment where they had to choose between their loved ones and the person threatening them. Those people judge what we do and our reasons for our actions.” I place my hand over her heart. “You have to do what you feel is right inside of you. I’ve done bad things for good reasons.” I take a deep breath before I get to the point. “Sophia, you were forced to do bad things by bad people. Anything bad you might’ve done was purely for your own survival, and I for one will never judge you. There is good and bad in everyone, you have to decide which part will be the dominant one.”

She tilts her head slightly and peeks up at me and I can’t help but smile. This girl is something else.

“Will Master show me how to be good? I want to be good.”

“I’ll show you and I’m sure Nanna will show you too.”

I lean back against the couch and stretch my legs out in front of me. She cuddles closer into my side. This woman must be starved for any kind of affection.

“You need to remember to call me Adam. You’re not a slave anymore. No more sex unless it’s something you really want with a person you really like. No more kneeling,” I pause to make my point, “I mean it, Sophia. No one here is a God, you don’t bow down to another human being.”

She nods and a faint smile plays around her lips. Keeping my one arm around her, I take her hand with my free hand. “Now tell me what you did today. Did you learn something new?”

Her face brightens with a smile I haven’t seen before. It makes the one she’s been giving the past few days look bland. I realize that even her emotions are in sync with what she thinks another person expects of her.

“Miss Ella showed me how to make fluffy scrambled eggs. I burned the first batch, but I got the second one right!” She’s so excited, her face is animated, showing every single emotion.

“That’s really great, Sophia. I’m sure they were tasty.”

“Yesterday I learned how to make pancakes. I can’t flip them yet, but I’ll keep trying.”

She leans her head against my chest and covers her mouth when she yawns.

“Do you like cooking with Nanna?” I ask, holding her a little tighter.

“I do! Miss Ella is kind and patient. I like learning new things from her.”

“You should spend lots of time with her then, she can teach you how to cook and bake lots of things.” I’ll have a talk with Nanna. I’m sure she won’t mind teaching Sophia.

“I’d like that very much,” she says in a sleepy voice.

I stare at the coffee table, hoping that we’ve taken a whole bunch of steps forward. I know she’ll keep lapsing to her old ways for a long while. Diane has been with us for a year and she still lapses.

I lean my head back and close my eyes. Her arm goes around my waist and her fingers grip my shirt. Just before I drift off I hear a soft whisper, “Thank you, Adam.”

I turn my face into her hair and whisper, “Anything for you, Sophia.”

~*~

We both fell asleep on the couch. I wake up with Sophia pressed to my side. She’s still asleep and I don’t have the heart to wake her. I sit with her for a good thirty minutes before she wakes up.

“Hey, sleepy head.” I smile when she lifts her head from my chest. She sits up, kneeling on the couch and rubs her eyes. She’s clearly still half asleep. “I’ll get us some coffee.”

I leave her sitting on the couch and make us some coffee. I notice her getting up and then she walks down the passage. Minutes later I hear the toilet flush. I place the coffee on a small table. It’s not a huge house, but it’s home. There’s a cozy living room, small kitchen, one bathroom and two bedrooms. I don’t need something bigger.

When Sophia doesn’t come back I peek down the passage. She’s standing in front of a bedroom, just staring in.

I walk up to her and look into the bedroom. “It’s not big, but you can use it, or you can stay up at the manor. It’s your choice.”

Her hands grab hold of the sides of her dress, and she scrunches the material as she makes fists. “Really? I can really stay here with you?”

I pull her hand away from the death grip she has on her dress and I bring it to my mouth. I place a kiss over the one welt that’s fading fast. “You can stay here for as long as you want.” I pull her towards the kitchen. “Come, we both could use that coffee.”

We stand and have our coffee and when I finish mine, I say, “I’ll go with you to the house so we can get your clothes. You can settle in the room and then we’ll see what else the day holds for us.”

She drinks the last of her coffee quickly, then she rinses both our mugs. She comes to stand next to me and slip her hand into mine. I should stop holding her hand now. She’s going to get used to it and I don’t want her replacing one habit with another.

I give her hand a squeeze and then pull mine free. I walk to the door, open it and then smile back at her. “Come on, we have lots to do.”

She quickly walks by me and then waits for me to close the door. We walk to the house and I keep my pace slow so she can get a good look at her surroundings.

She doesn’t have much so we only have to go up and down once. I show her where all the basics are, and then leave her to get settled. I go take a shower and enjoy the water beating down on me. It’s been a long week.

Sophia showers after me and comes out looking fresh in a light green dress. I didn’t know her favorite color so I got her a whole bunch. She seems to like the dresses.

We walk back up to the house. Tristan is helping me out while I help River with getting Sophia and Jack settled.

When we walk into the kitchen Jack is just finishing up his food. “Morning,” I say, keeping my voice neutral. Jack and Sophia are so very different from each other. I’ve never had a case like Jack, so I’m not sure what to do to make him feel at ease.