Savage Secrets (Titan #6) (29 page)

The chopper was too low. Too close. She knew that. No way could anyone in that bird could evac—

Like the effort had been too much, the slow motion disaster crashed into the night. The helicopter dropped sideways. Trees split. Metal bent. Smoke and fire burst. Rocco dove, shielding her as a giant burst of light exploded behind them. Toxic, acrid fumes poured around them.

Winters yelled at Rocco. Rocco yelled back. Then they were up, taking off into the water. Icy cold splashes shocked her skin. Her backside was submerged. Shock and shivers froze her mind. A fire raged on the beach, in the trees.

Rocco pushed her forward, and she looked up. A rigid-hull inflatable boat. A man grabbed her aboard. Pain rocketed from her ribcage, her bruised muscles, and cut skin. Rocco jumped in behind, and her teeth chattered. Her mind reeled.

“Wh-hhat—” She’d wake up. This was a nightmare. A visceral, bad dream. Any minute, she’d wake. A helicopter just went down
saving her
? No.

“Who—” She tried again, concentrating on the question and dreading the answer. “Who... What…”

She shook. Violently. Couldn’t stop because she knew—just
knew
—what he was about to say.

Tight-faced and angry-eyed, Rocco watched the beach, and she watched him. Their boat took off farther into the water.

“Who was that?” She coughed. She didn’t mean for it to come out like that, but forcing it was the only way it would come at all.

The edges of his eyes crinkled. “Delta Team One.” His jaw worked side to side. “And they’re gone.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Caterina lay on a hard cot under a pile of warm blankets in the massive operating center that Titan called a jet. The tension was thick enough to cut with a Somalian machete. She watched the table of men scrunched together. She hadn’t said a word since she’d had a quick, cold shower, but silence worked because nothing came to mind. They’d lost two men because Titan came to save her. The guilt was more suffocating than her broken ribs.

Titan. Delta. One group, different teams. Rocco hadn’t offered much in explanation, and she didn’t understand the difference between Titan’s main team and Delta. How were they related? Or not related?

She wished harder than she’d ever wished for El Mateperros’s head on a shiny platter and that she could disappear into nothingness and never have to look any of them in the eye again. Their teammate was dead, and she was to blame. Just like her family had died, and again, she was to blame.

Voices had murmured quietly while Jared was on the phone. Rocco had been charged with questioning her soon as the shock had washed away. Nothing much materialized. It was as though she could remember everything but nothing at the same time. Watching the men who’d risked their lives for her… she couldn’t stand her own skin and couldn’t even offer intelligence after spending days with the ACG. The terrorist attack in London hadn’t happened, but it would. She was certain of it, and had nothing to offer.
Another round of guilt, please
.

“Caterina.” The phone hung limply in Jared’s hand. “We need you over here, hon.”

Hon
didn’t sound good. It sounded like the handhold before a death sentence. Every person in this plane had to hate her. She hated her. So much hatred. Where had it gotten her? In love with a man who would surely never be able to look at her again.

“Okay.” The lump in her throat nearly muted her response.

She stood shakily then folded the scratchy blanket she had tried to disappear into. Wet hair still tangled on her shoulders, so she pushed it back, praying that their conversation wouldn’t make her want to jump out mid-flight. She needed more of the painkillers she’d been given but didn’t dare ask. Didn’t want to seem weak. Didn’t want get dopey and lose control of her emotions.

Each footstep was a struggle. The carpet felt like wet sand and her legs like jelly. Finally, she stood next to Rocco. An empty chair awaited her as her eyelids burned with tears. A distant, probably forced smile crossed Rocco’s lips, and he dropped his chin, encouraging her to sit.

“
Lo siento
.”
I’m sorry
. She was, but no amount of apologizing would make this right. Falling into the chair, she couldn’t imagine what they’d want with her. Avoiding their stares, she picked at her cuticle. Daring a glance up, she saw deep emotion flicker on their chiseled mugs. They were military. Special Forces. Elite of the elite. Retired. Discharged. They were all kinds of things, and they were all looking at her.

Sucking her bottom lip into her mouth, Caterina looked at Jared and wondered how bad this would be. “Yes?”

“Nothing was found at Big Ben.”

She blinked. Was he questioning her intel? “Their plan was to attack the clock tower on Saturday. You said it’s Saturday.”

Jared rubbed his hands over his eyes, kneading at dark circles and then at cheeks covered with bearded growth. “What else you got?”

What else? They’d lost men, and now she had bad intel. Her hands knotted together, fingers twisting. “I don’t.”

“Think harder.”

She shook her head, completely sick. “I… can’t.”

“ACG is going to strike. Is it the location or the date we have wrong?”

Scrunching her eyes closed, she rehashed everything she’d heard, but her mind was so foggy. “I’m not sure.”

“Rocco.” Jared’s voice rumbled. “Walk her through it again.”

Before he responded, Caterina left for the lavatory at the back of the jet. She slammed the door and heaved. Fire erupted in her rib cage. Cracked bones and disgrace-drenched dry heaves were a vicious combo.

The door opened behind her, and she refused to look up. “Go away.”

“Kitten?”

“Just drop me in London. Hell, touch down wherever we are, drop me, and go.”

“We’re over water, so that won’t work.” His attempt to lighten her mood failed.

“That’s perfect, actually.”

“Come on, Cat.” He crouched down, balancing on the balls of his feet, forearms resting on his knees.

“Your men died.”

“God rest their souls, but it’s not the first time. Won’t be the last.”

His curt nod killed her. The walls came closer, and the ceiling pressed down. The raging beat of her pulse punched in her veins. “
Ay Dios
. I can’t breathe.”

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Cat—”

“No! I don’t know what to do, what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say right now except for—”

Her stomach swam again. “Except for I had bad intel.” She choked it out, covering her mouth. “Titan came to get me, but it shouldn’t have happened. You should have left me with them. Never. Ever. Should have come for me.”

Strong hands rubbed her back then pulled her into Rocco’s chest. He rocked back and sat down, pulling her into his lap in the tiny space. “I think you know that never would have happened.”

“Wasn’t worth it.”

“There’s nothing harder than what we went through tonight. But I know those men; I’ve known them for years.” His voice cracked, and his throat bobbed. “There was nothing they’d rather do then chase down some fuckin’ terrorist piece of shit and make sure somebody’s girl makes it home safe. Not a damn thing.”

“Your girl?” Eyes wide, she pulled back in his arms. “Still?”

His eyes narrowed, and his head tilted as if trying to assess where her head was at. “Nothing’s changed. If anything…” He pulled her back into his arms, and she melted even as she fought it. “If anything, everything seems more real between us. I meant what I said.”

He loved her. “You can change your mind.”

“Don’t feel like it.”

“Oh.” She stared at her fingernails, jagged and dirty, then back to him. “Rocco, I…” God, she loved him. So much. So strong. “I don’t know how to walk away from El Mateperros.”

His eyes flinched almost imperceptibly. “No one’s asking you to.”

She nodded. “He’s… I think it’s a sickness. An obsession.”

“You’re not the only one who’s screwed in the head. Right?” He chuckled, but it was more of a grimace.

“You’re too good for me.”

“You have sins. I have sins. We have secrets. But mix ‘em together, and what the hell does it matter?”

It didn’t.
They
did. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“My vote is for giving it a shot.”

“I wouldn’t know what to say. It sounds so foreign in my head.”

He smiled. “Everything sounds foreign coming from you. Say what’s in your head. No one’s judging you.”

She inhaled as deeply as she could, and it hurt like hell. But then she let it go and tried to free her words. “I fell in love with you along the way.”

“Good. Glad you did.”

“It may have been the night that I helped you and you didn’t know.”

“Bet I made hugging that bench look good.”

He tried to joke, tried to lighten the moment, but now that she had started talking, she wasn’t sure she could stop. “I believe in coincidence, and I believe in us. In you.” He was the only way she could survive El Mateperros and the Delta team guilt. Deep breath in.
Hurts like hell
. Deep breath out.
Time for the truth
. “I love you.”

“Hell, Kitten.” Half a smile tugged his cheek, and the dimple appeared. “I know that.”

Coughing a laugh that hurt her ribs, she didn’t care and batted his chest. He buried his head against her neck, lips brushing her skin. For the first time, she felt human instead of like a machine only capable of chasing down her enemy and providing bad intel.

He let his lips linger and his tongue flick. “Let me ask a few more questions, just to jog your memory, then we can talk to Jared. After that, we’ll get some shuteye.”

Pressing her head against his shoulder, she sighed. “What is this, the slowest of the Titan jets? We should have been in London in after a couple hours.”

He pulled her back, eyes sparkling “We’re wheels down in about eight hours. I guaran-damn-tee that by the time we get off this plane, Titan will have a plan, and you’ll have a new perspective—”

“Eight more hours?”

“Until we’re wheels down on American soil. God bless the US of A. You might even like it.”

“What?” Her mouth hung open until she snapped it closed. “But—”

“Look at it like this: When you don’t know what your next move is, your options are endless.”

In love. In America. With Rocco. He was right. The options were endless.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Rocco watched Caterina’s jaw open and close a few times, taking in the idea of heading home with him. He hadn’t said that in so many words and hadn’t quite worked through the logistics—like asking her if she wanted to live with him—but it seemed like a good start.

A good start to what? Hadn’t he just politely asked his ex-girlfriend to get her belongings and leave? That he wasn’t the type for commitment? And now he flying half-way around the world, dropping phrases like S
urprise! You’re coming to America
while Cat suffered from the shakes—or maybe the stupids—any time the Dog Killer came around.

Hell, it didn’t matter what he was asking, where his mind had been before he met her, or what she focused on day in, day out. With Cat in his lap, everything was working the way it should. He tried to kiss her cheek, and she flinched. “You okay?”

“I think the painkillers are wearing off.” Caterina looked down. “I’m a little jumpy without them.”

“Jumpy?”

“Yes…” Biting her lip, she let time float by. “Ever since I was attacked, if someone moves too close or touches me unexpectedly…I’m almost in tears.”

Shaking his head, he couldn’t imagine. “I’m sorry. Just—”

“Don’t say that. I can’t handle apologies.”

“We are two people, crippled by mental what-the-fucks, talking love in an airplane bathroom.” That was about as real as it could get in Rocco’s world. “You sure you’re down for falling in love with me? Because I’m blowing this romance thing.”

Her cracked lips upturned. “I never had a choice.”

Rocco pulled her gently off the floor. “You good with flying home?”

“I don’t have a home.”

Total come-live-with-me failure. He rolled his eyes and tugged her close. “Semantics. You good with coming home with me? Hanging with me—”

Until
… He wasn’t going to say
until
because he didn’t want an
until
. Until she healed… Until they took care of El Mateperros… Until they were finished with spending time together…

None of those worked for him. He liked hanging with Caterina and loved her something fierce. Did that alone make a relationship? Hell no. But did he want to give it a go? Hell yes. She wasn’t saying anything… Maybe he was getting in over his head.

Rocco rubbed his temples. “Caterina. This is all… Look…” He drank her in: sad eyes, scratches and cuts barely scabbed over. Their lives were complicated… Time for the truth. “I don’t want to be here right now. Not like this.”