Sanctum (6 page)

“We had our roles, and I failed in mine.”

“Then you should take the company. Walk away from her because she deserves better than to be placed in some role. She’s more than a sub. If the relationship you truly want is a Master/slave partnership, then take the CEO job and allow Taggart to find you someone who doesn’t really care about love. You need a woman who finds true strength only in service. Oh, wait, when the chips were down, you didn’t let Jill do her job.”

Ryan looked at Keith, startled by the accusation. “What are you talking about? What was I supposed to do? She was the sub. I signed a contract to protect and provide for her.”

“And what was she supposed to do? Provide you with sex and obey you? Is that all she was good for? Let her go, man. She would rather be your wife than your sub, and it’s obvious you don’t want a wife.”

Because a wife’s job was to share the joys and the burdens, to help him through the pain. Would she have stayed?

It hit him like a freaking bolt of lightning. He hadn’t passed Jillian off to Keith because he was worried about her comfort. That had been in there, but he’d really done it to spare himself the heartache of her leaving him.

He’d been a pussy rat bastard. He hadn’t even given her a chance. “I’ll take the second deal.”

“Are you sure?”

Sure? He sat for a minute, allowing the sounds of the busy bar to flow around him. He’d been so damn sure once that he wanted to compartmentalize his life. Jillian went in one box, his work in another. When one had fallen apart, he’d shoved the other aside because he’d been too scared to open that damn box and see if it could work outside. He’d been too ashamed to tell her what a failure he’d been.

“I’m sure.” Keith had been right. The shock of having a family placed in his hands had gotten his priorities straight. A baby didn’t necessarily make a family. Jillian had been his family, and he’d been too arrogant to see it. “I’m very sure.” And something else was clear to him. If he was going to bet on himself and Jillian, he needed a whole new attitude. He’d thought he’d lost his chance when his first company had gone under. He’d hoped maybe he could get back to where he’d been. He’d taken a grim view of life, but he couldn’t now. There was no “one” chance. There was simply the next chance, and that was the way life could be if he just tried. “And Keith, you got this idea for a bargain.”

Keith snorted. “I don’t think so. Six hundred and fifty thousand plus points?”

Even that small percentage of the company would potentially make him a lot of money. “This is small potatoes compared to what I’ll charge you next time.”

“Oh, you think you’ll get another brilliant idea?”

He nodded, a deep confidence settling inside him. He’d done it once. He could do it again. He could find another business if he wanted to, but there was only one Jillian and he would need every ounce of attention he had to win her back and build a life for them. “I will and I just might make you bid on the next one, asshole.”

A brilliant smile played over his face. “No, you won’t. You wouldn’t do that to your best man. Tell Jill ‘hi’ for me.”

He would. If she didn’t slam the door in his face first.

* * * *

Jill stared at the latest collection notice and wondered who the hell wrote those things. It vowed that her life would erupt and she would be placed in eternal purgatory if she didn’t pay such and such M.D. Sure it used all sorts of polite technical terms like lawsuits and seizing assets, but the truth was purgatory. She could have told them she was already freaking there.

The door opened and the only ray of sunshine in her life made an appearance.

Ashley managed to nudge the door open as she pushed the stroller through, a grocery bag planted firmly on her shoulder. “Hey, big sis. I know this is a change, but I got us some green stuff for dinner.”

Jill shoved the bill into the desk drawer. It wasn’t anything Ashley needed to see. She was stuck in purgatory too. “Seriously? Wow, you are going for healthy, aren’t you?”

“Hey, Trevor finally sent a small fraction of what he owes me in child support. You have to thank that hottie for me. I’m absolutely certain he would have kept changing his phone number if the incredible hunk hadn’t gone after him.”

Simon Weston. Such a nice man. She’d told the hot British Dom her sister’s story of woe one night. He sat at the bar most evenings. He had his habits. He would spend a little time with a sub, rarely the same one twice, and then he’d come and order a pint. Jill had started keeping a six-pack of imported British ale at room temperature just for him. Over the weeks, they had formed a friendship. She’d meant to get a referral for a less wretchedly expensive agency than McKay-Taggart, but Simon had assured her it would be his deepest pleasure to hand “a wanker his arse.” Apparently he’d done just that.

“Are you serious? How much did he send?” Anything would be helpful. Emily had been born premature, and they were still paying for the neonatal unit bills, not to mention the OB/GYN and hospital. She knew most other people would just declare bankruptcy, but that would close a bunch of doors on both of them. It might take years to pay off the debts, but they would come out of it with a clean slate.

She just needed to call again and make new arrangements.

“A thousand,” Ashley said with a smile. “And before you freak out on me. I only spent fifty bucks on groceries and diapers, and the rest of it goes to you for the bills. I’ve been assured we’ll get another payment in two weeks.”

Two thousand a month was a godsend. Oh, she was going to stock that Brit’s favorite beer all of the time. “That’s so wonderful.”

Ashley picked up Em, her little baby’s legs kicking. “So maybe you can quit that job.”

“Quit working at Sanctum?” She hadn’t even thought about it. Even after that mortifying episode with Ryan, she hadn’t thought about quitting. She loved Sanctum. She had friends there. It kept her connected to a lifestyle she still loved, even if she couldn’t participate. What would she do if she couldn’t see him every day?

She winced.

Ashley pointed with her free hand. “There. That’s the look you get when you come home. That’s why you should look for another job.”

A long sigh issued forth. “I love the club. I actually think you should come with me when we can find decent babysitting.”

Ashley shook her head. “No. I’ve been screwed over by one man. I don’t need to find another who would screw me over and spank me while he’s doing it.”

“It’s not like that. The lifestyle is all about communication.”

“Then what happened with you and that Dom? Don’t pretend. I know you were seeing someone. I just don’t know his name.”

Her sister could be like a pit bull when she got curious. It was best to just give her some information and throw her off the scent. “His name was Ryan. I met him at a club. It didn’t work out and now I work at another club and by a crazy coincidence, now he’s my boss.”

Ashley’s eyes got wide, and she covered her baby’s precious ears. “Shit. Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.” She grabbed the grocery bag and wondered if maybe they could splurge on tequila. Probably not, but she damn straight needed a shot. “I signed a contract with Ryan, and I was with him for almost a year. I actually lived with him for a while.”

“And he screwed you over. See. Contracts don’t protect you. How did he communicate that he was dumping you?”

There was a brief knock on the door. Saved by the bell. Jill crossed the very short distance between the kitchen and the front door. “That’s a story for another time.”

“He sounds like a regular asshole to me,” Ashley said. “You’re better off without him.”

Jill didn’t argue, simply opened the door, happy for the distraction. And then she wasn’t happy at all because Ryan was standing in the doorway looking gorgeous and perfectly pressed. It was hard to believe he’d lost his money since he still looked like a high-powered executive in his designer suit.

“Do you actually live here? What are you doing here?” Ryan was frowning fiercely, his eyes taking in every bit of the threadbare apartment.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” A loud ruckus started two doors down. A man was screaming at the top of his lungs, calling his wife every nasty word in the book.
Damn it
. The couple in 3B was at it again, and someone would call the police and Ryan would get a front row seat to the whole show. It wasn’t how she wanted him to see her.

Ryan shook his head as though trying to shake something off. “I’m sorry. I just don’t think this building is safe. I walked up three flights of steps, and there were people sleeping in the hallways.”

“Oh, that’s just the pimps,” Ashley supplied helpfully. “Or the johns. There are two hookers on the second floor. This is their busiest time of day. I told Mysty that she should make a little waiting room, but she said anything she leaves out in the hall gets stolen anyway.”

Ryan stared at her sister, his jaw slightly open, before turning back to her. “Get your things. You’re both coming with me. My place isn’t much bigger, but at least it’s not a hotbed of criminal activity.”

“That you know of,” Ashley corrected, settling Emily on her hip. “According to Shauna Rae, you just never know when the people next door are cooking meth until the trailer explodes. Such a tragedy. It’s why she moved here. Of course, she says this is way worse than the trailer park.”

“You must be Ashley.” Ryan just barged right in. He’d never had trouble taking control.

Of course, her sister had gotten a lot sassier since having Emily. “And you must be someone I don’t know and have never heard a word about.”

“I’m Ryan Church.” He flushed a little as though he’d just realized he was making a scene. “I, uhm, I work with your sister.”

Ashley didn’t even try to disguise her open appraisal. Or, if she did, she was doing a terrible job. “And now you’re ordering us to move? Is that part of her job?”

Ryan gave Ashley what Jill thought of as his patented “superhero” look. When his jaw squared and he got that glint in his eyes, she just knew he was going to save the world, or at least her. “I just want to protect your sister and that means protecting you too.”

“All right then. I’m going to put Emily down for a nap while you two chat.” She looked over at Jill. “I take back what I said. Give him a second chance.”

Jill frowned. She thought she’d at least have her sister in her corner. “You just said he was a typical asshole.”

“Yeah, well, that was before I saw him. Holy hell, sister, he is smoking hot. Dayum. He looks like he should be on a movie screen. Looks like that deserve a second chance. I bet you have a six-pack.” Ashley looked at his torso like she could see straight through to his abs.

Ryan smiled and gave her sister a flirty wink, shocking the hell out of Jill. She hadn’t seen him smile once since she’d come to work at Sanctum. This was the same flirty, fun Ryan she’d fallen madly in love with. He was usually so serious, but then he would turn the charm on and she would turn into a puddle of goo. “Hey, I work out a lot and it’s Texas, so I mostly don’t wear a shirt. You’ll have to put up with that when you and your sister come live at my place.”

Ashley’s appreciative sigh filled the room, and even Emily seemed enthralled by the big guy. “A daily show. Sounds better than cable. Which we don’t have. Also, I would very much like to move. I started naming the rats yesterday. It’s time. So you two let me know when to pack.”

“As soon as possible,” Ryan said.

“We’re not moving,” Jill said at the same time.

“You two crazy kids figure it out.” Ashley looked down at her feet as something furry skittered by. “Oh, look, there’s Cheesy. I call her that because she likes cheese.”

Ashley walked into her room, humming a Disney tune. They really did need to move. But they weren’t doing it because Ryan told her to. “Why are you here?”

He stopped, forcing his hands into his pockets as he turned back to her. “I’m sorry about the orders. It’s habit. I was just surprised to see this place. I should have come out here sooner. I should have checked up on you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. We’re not together, Ryan.”

There was that smoldering look that made her heart race and her knees get weak, and left absolutely no room for her brain to function because she went into full-on lust overload. When he stared at her and his eyes darkened, she wanted nothing more than to throw herself at his feet. It was so much easier to deal with him when they were both studiously ignoring each other. “That was a mistake, Jillian. I made a terrible mistake.”

That was not what she needed to hear. “It wasn’t a mistake. The mistake was signing a contract with you in the first place.”

“No. The mistake was not allowing you to make your own decision.”

She rolled her eyes. What the hell was this about? Not two weeks before, he’d tried to get her to sign another contract, one she was sure would be very much like the first one, heavily weighted in his favor. “I didn’t get to make decisions, Ryan.”

“You made one every single day.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jillian, you chose to sign the contract. I didn’t force you to. I didn’t force you to stay with me. I didn’t lock you up. You made the decision every single day to stay with me.”

Her stomach turned because he was right. “Thank you for reminding me.”

His expression softened. “You were right. I was wrong. You made the decision every day to keep us together, and I should have trusted in that.”

He totally misunderstood her. “Ryan, I thanked you for reminding me just what a doormat I used to be.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Doormat? You weren’t a doormat. Jillian, do you really think I mistreated you?”

She sighed heavily and sank to her secondhand couch. When she’d been with Ryan, he’d showered her with gifts, made certain that she had everything she needed on the material front. He’d never harmed her, always been deeply careful with their play. Even the spankings he’d given her had been for her pleasure. The discipline portion of their relationship had been very light, the contract between them more about protection and comfort than her obedience. “No. You didn’t mistreat me. Not at all. You just didn’t really notice I was there.”