San Antonio Rose (Historical Romance) (31 page)

"Say you want me," he urged, withdrawing
and holding himself back with such willpower
that his whole body trembled from the force
of it.

"Ian, I want you," she admitted in a choked
voice, squirming to take him back into her.

The gossamer kisses Ian sprinkled across
her breasts were like an aphrodesiac to her already inflamed body. He gathered her to him
and rolled to his back, holding her firmly on
top of him.

Emerada bit her lip and threw back her
head when he eased her down onto his
arousal.

Their lovemaking became frantic, as it always did. She rode the tide of ecstasy with him,
cried out his name, and reached a bone-melting climax with him.

Her energy spent, Emerada collapsed beside
him, and his hand moved soothingly up and
down her back, while he placed feather-soft
kisses on her cheek.

For now, for this moment in time, Emerada felt as if she had sole possession of him-of his
mind and body. She had inflamed his desire,
and she was his wife.

The other woman was far away, and Ian belonged to her... at least for tonight.

"You amaze me, Emerada," Ian whispered in
wonder.

She nestled her head on his shoulder. "In
what way?"

"Each time I take you, it's better than before.
If I could, I would spend my lifetime in bed
with you, making love."

She smiled against his neck. "Even when I
am heavy with child?"

She felt him stiffen, and his whole attitude
changed at the mention of the baby.

Ian firmly moved her away from him and
sat up. "I had forgotten about the baby. Oh,
God, how could I?"

She opened her mouth to tell him that the child was his and that he had done no harm
to it, but he moved even farther away from
her.

"You must think I'm an insensitive beast,"
Ian said in an impassioned voice. He ran his
hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Emerada. I
never meant for this to happen. I promised myself it wouldn't." He dropped his head into his
hands. "Can you forgive me?"

She was still feeling the glow of their lovemaking, and his sudden regret was like a dash
of cold water in her face. She couldn't find
words to answer him.

Her spirits plummeted.

Ian moved off the bed and walked to the window. She watched him as silvery moonlight fell
across his naked body.

He swiveled around to face her, and although
she couldn't see his expression, she could sense
his troubled thoughts. "God forgive me if I
have hurt you or the baby..."

She came to her knees, reached out her
hand, then let it drop helplessly to her side.
"No, Ian, you have not hurt me or the baby."

He took several steps toward her. "I always
prided myself on being able to command my
own emotions. But when it comes to you, I
have no control at all."

"You have nothing to blame yourself for, Ian.
I was a willing partner in what happened between us."

He sat down beside her, struggling with what he wanted to say. "It was my fault. I am experienced enough to make you want me, and I did
just that. I should never have let it go so far." As
if against his will, he reached out and touched
her cheek. "I always seem to lose control when
I'm near you."

She shook her head, her pride coming to her
rescue. "There is no reason for you to torment
yourself over me. What happened between us
was nothing more than lust. We have talked
about this before."

He sucked in his breath. "Yes, I do lust for
you." Even now, just being this close to her, he
swelled like a sex-starved youth, wanting to
crush those lips beneath his and feel the velvet
recesses of her body. He tried to ignore his
urges and moved away from her. "You are in
my blood, and I can't shake you loose."

By now the first glow of the morning sun
pierced through the lace curtains, casting a
golden pattern on the plank floor. Emerada felt
so cold inside. She fought to suppress the trembling in her body. Ian wanted her, all right, but
he loathed himself when he gave in to that
temptation. This must be what happens when a
man lusts without love, she thought sadly, or
frequents a whorehouse.

A frown curved Ian's lips and deepened the
tired lines about his eyes. "You have such a serious expression on your face. Will you not
share your thoughts with me?"

San Antonio was coming to life. Emerada could hear the sound of the street vendors setting up their stalls, and the stagecoach stopping just below their window.

"What should I think, Ian?"

He raised his shoulders in a shrug. "I don't
know. You tell me."

She moved out of bed and slipped into her
nightgown, which lay crumpled on the floor. "I
have some thinking to do. I will let you know
when I have reached a decision."

His smile was pleasant enough, but didn't
reached his eyes, which were hard and unyielding at that moment. "Any decisions you come
to will involve me, Emerada. Don't ask me to
let you go." He pulled on his pants and then his
shirt. "Not until the baby is born."

"There is no reason for this farce to go on
any longer. You have given my baby a name,
which is more than could be expected of
anyone."

He placed his hands on his hips and
glanced upward. "I understand how you feel,
but there is no time to talk about this right
now. I hate to leave it like this between us, but
I have to go to Victoria this morning, and I'll
be gone several days. We'll talk about this
when I get back."

She nodded her agreement. "You will eat before you leave?"

"Yes, of course, if you'll eat with me."

Ian had dressed in his uniform and was strapping his gun belt about his waist. "If you need
anything, let Hank know."

I will. Do not be concerned about me while
you are away. Just take care of yourself." Saying good-bye had always been difficult between
them, as it was now. "Will you be...is there
danger?"

"Not unless Houston loses his temper. Then
who knows what could happen. As well you
know, he's-"

There was a soft rap on the door, and Ian
crossed the room. "Probably Corporal Dooley,
reminding me I have tarried too long."

He opened the door and Emerada saw him
freeze. In the next moment a woman threw
herself into Ian's arms and kissed him soundly
on the lips. Ian untangled her arms and held
them in a firm grip, looking sheepishly at
Emerada, then back to the woman.

"Pauline, what are you doing here?"

Emerada heard the woman speak in a soft
Southern drawl. "You wouldn't come to me, so
I came to you in this dusty, desolate old Texas
that took you away from me."

The woman had a soft beauty, white skin,
rosy cheeks, hair the color of wheat; she was
slender, dainty, and petite. Emerada had hoped
she would never meet this woman, but here
she was in the flesh, looking more beautiful
than any woman had a right to look.

Ian took Pauline's hand and led her forward
to be introduced.

"Emerada," he stammered, "eh, Pauline.
This is my-"

Ian was having a difficult time, and the last
thing Emerada was going to do was make it
easy for him. She stared at the woman he
loved, wishing her in hell, or at least back in
Virginia.

Pauline Harlandale glanced from Ian to the
dark-haired woman. The man downstairs
hadn't told her there was a woman in Ian's
room. She knew men did this sort of thingher mother had explained to her about mistresses-but she never thought she'd have to
face the situation.

Pauline sized up the woman, who was not
even properly dressed, but wearing a dressing
gown. Pauline blushed and clung to Ian's arm.
"I should have written that I was coming, but I
wanted to surprise you." She released his arm.
"It seems I'm the one surprised," she murmured, backing toward the door.

Pauline had to admit the whore was beautiful, with the darkest hair and eyes she'd ever
seen. She glanced up at Ian, who was looking
more uncomfortable by the minute. Pauline
gave the woman an icy stare. "Ian, perhaps I
should wait downstairs until you get rid of this
...creature."

"Wait," Ian said, taking Pauline's arm and
leading her back to Emerada. "Pauline, this is
my wife, Emerada de la Rosa. Emerada, this is
Pauline Harlandale. She's an... er... old
friend from Virginia."

Emerada managed to hold her hands steady.
"Actually, I am Emerada McCain, Senorita
Harlandale. It is a pleasure to meet any of my
husband's friends."

It took Pauline a moment to recover. She
would have accepted the woman if she had
been just a mistress-but a wife! Fury tore
through her and she clutched her hands
tightly.

"Your... wife?"

Ian looked to Emerada for help, but she only
gave him a half smile. "Pauline, I had no idea
that you would come to Texas. I should have
written to you about Emerada."

"It was obviously a mistake for me to come."
Her anger was directed at Emerada. "No one
told me about her. I'm sure your mother doesn't
know; or she would have advised me not to
come."

"I have not written her about the marriage."
His gaze went to Emerada. "It happened so
quickly."

For the first time Pauline noticed the swell of
the woman's stomach. "I can see why."

"Pauline," Ian said quickly, almost too quickly, saying the first thing that came into his mind. "Surely you didn't travel to Texas
alone?"

"No. My cousin, Sara, came with me. You remember her, Ian-she's my older cousin, who
never married. She would have come with me
to say hello, but I wanted to see you alone."
Pauline looked as if she might cry. "I couldn't
wait to see..." Her voice trailed off.

Emerada moved to the window and opened
it to allow a breeze to circulate, and because
she needed something to occupy her hands.
"Why do you not take your... friend to her
room, Ian? Perhaps she has not yet had breakfast, and you can see to it for her."

"Oh, yes, Ian," Pauline said eagerly. "Everything is so primitive here." Her glare bore into
Emerada as she spoke. "The town, the people,
the women."

Ian glanced down at the woman he'd been
betrothed to, feeling like the worst kind of cad.
Pauline deserved better than he'd given her.
Why hadn't he written to let her know he was
married?

"I will see you settled, and then I have to
leave, Pauline."

Pauline placed a gloved hand on his arm.
"Must you leave?"

"I'm afraid so." He glanced at Emerada. "My
wife will see to your comfort-won't you,
Emerada?"

"I will do whatever I can," she answered, damning Ian in her mind. She wanted to rip
that woman's hand off her husbands arm.
Didn't Ian see that Pauline was being deliberately vicious? She forced a smile. "I hope you
are not of a delicate nature. As you said, Texas
is a dusty, desolate place, and the women here
are of hardy stock."

Ian frowned. There was friction in the room,
and it was between the two women. He was almost glad he had to leave. He led Pauline to the
door and spoke to Emerada as he went. "I will
see you next week."

Emerada sat down in a chair to consider
what had just happened. How could Ian love a
woman who was so spiteful? Why did she have
to be confined in the same boardinghouse with
Pauline Harlandale?

She propped her elbows on her lap and
rested her chin on her hands. Ian was to be
pitied. He'd done a good deed in marrying her,
and now he had to explain everything to the
woman he should have married. Would he tell
her the whole truth? she wondered.

Emerada sighed. She could have made it easier for him, but she wasn't feeling charitable at
the moment, at least not toward the goldenhaired woman with the soft Southern manners
and asplike insinuations.

She touched her stomach, loving the baby
who nestled there. "It looks like it is going to be
just the two of us, little one," she said aloud.

"Your father has done more than anyone could
ask of him. He must be free to marry the
woman he loves."

She stood up and went to the trunk, removing her prettiest gown. She had to rally her
courage. It was up to her to set things right between Ian and Pauline Harlandale.

She owed Ian that much.