Authors: Shelly Pratt
He eyes me sceptically before carefully repeating his phone number twice. I have to hide a smile as he starts to bite his lip. I can see he thinks he’s being taken for a ride, but I have every intention of calling him. Just like I had every intention of coming back to see him after we first met.
Grayson’s right, though. This isn’t some casual friendship, and because of that, I need to tread very carefully. If Alex gets a whiff of me seeing anyone other than the people on his approved list, I may not make it to my next birthday.
I leave a totally hot, dripping-wet Grayson in the alley where I found him. He may be wondering if I’ll even call him, but I’m already thinking of ways to escape Alex’s clutches so I can be with him once more. If today’s kiss was anything to go by, both of us are going to have a hard time sticking to the boundaries of friendship.
GRAYSON
The waiting game is not one I’m used to or fond of. It’s evidence that I really like this woman, because in the past, time has never been of the essence. Now I can’t wait to see her again. It seems like a smile is rare from her yet, when she does forget whatever it is that’s consuming her, she allows something so genuine and real to be felt by everyone around her. There’s happiness in there somewhere and I want to be the person that draws that side of her out.
At times when I’m not at the deli, I find myself wanting to paint her. I get so frustrated that I can’t seem to get her eyes and mouth just right. I wish she would sit and be my muse all day long, because I don’t think I would ever get tired of gazing at her face. Despite the secrets she keeps, there is a sweet innocence that I want to capture forever.
The phone rings, right at the precise moment I’m up to my elbows in paint and brushes.
‘I’ll get it!’ I yell, not wanting Lucas or Rob to pick up. A week after the fact, I’m still holding out hope that Evie hasn’t forgotten the number I gave her. I trip over the canvasses stacked on the floor before ploughing into the door frame in my bid to get there first. I almost make it to the receiver when Rob picks up the call, smirking at me as he does.
‘Hello? Grayson? Yeah, he’s here. Just a moment please.’ He holds the phone out towards me, grinning from ear to ear. ‘It’s for you.’
‘Thanks,’ I say, snatching it from him and turning my back as I take the call.
‘Hello?’ I’m breathless, unable to stop the thudding in my chest as I wait to hear if it’s Evie on the line. I’m immediately disenchanted when Chantelle starts prattling on the phone. She’s on her way over and doesn’t seem to be taking no for an answer, hanging up before I have the chance to fob her off.
‘Shit!’
‘What? Is she too much woman for you, man?’
‘How could you even put me on the phone to her?’
‘Well, you seemed so eager to answer it.’
‘You have to pretend I’m not here when she comes over. Just tell her I’ve been called in to work or something.’
‘What are we—in high school or something?’
The phone rings again in my hand.
‘Maybe it’s her again saying she can’t come over now,’ laughs Rob.
‘I’m not that lucky.’ The phone still trills away in my hand.
‘Aren’t you going to answer that?’
‘It could be more bad luck.’
‘Give it here.’
I toss the phone to Rob so he can answer it. It’s for me again.
‘Hmm, aren’t you Mister Popular today?’ He slaps me on the back before leaving me to answer the phone.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi, Grayson, it’s—’
‘Evie
…’ I breathe.
‘Yes
… is this a bad time? I could call back?’
‘No! I mean, no, now’s just fine.’
‘I was just in the neighbourhood and was just wondering if you’d like to grab coffee or something?’
‘Sure, that sounds great.’ I try to sound casual when I feel anything but.
‘Well, if you give me your address I can come and meet you and we can walk from there.’
‘Here?
At my house?’
‘Yes, is that a problem?’
‘No, no at all. Just give me five to get dressed, is that okay?’
‘Sure. What’s your address?’
‘Are you familiar with Davey Street?’
‘Sort of, but the taxi has GPS anyway.’
‘It’s number four—the big white house on the corner of Pitt Street.’
‘Okay, I’ll see you soon.’ She hangs up leaving me standing in the kitchen in disbelief.
She rang! Holy shit, she actually freaking rang!
I’m suddenly aware that I haven’t even stepped in the shower yet today and am going to need to move my arse if I want to freshen up before she gets here. Reaching over my head, I yank my
T-shirt off and head for the shower. I give my hair a quick shampoo and wash my body with some of the scented liquid soap that Lucas keeps in the shower. Usually Rob and I pay him out about it, but for once I’m happy that at least one of us males living here gives a shit about his personal hygiene.
I’m just stepping out of the shower when I hear the doorbell ring. I’m just thinking that Evie was really fast in getting here when I remember Chantelle. Fuck. With as little noise as possible I hurry towards the front door just in time to see Rob about to answer it. He looks at me, half debating whether to give me away or not. I run my finger across my jugular, indicating to him that if he even so much as mentions I’m here he’s dead meat. He winks at me before opening the door. I stand in the shadows of the hallway, listening in on his lame excuse for my absence. She seems quite intent on getting in the house, but to Rob’s credit, he stands firm over the threshold. She finally gets fed up with arguing and insists she’s off to the deli to search for me there.
We both heave a sigh of relief when he shuts the door.
‘Damn, that is one persistent woman.’
‘You’re telling me.’
‘Why is it always the women we don’t want chasing us that do?’
‘I have no idea, but when you find out, let me know.’ I head off to grab some jeans and a shirt. I have the top button of my jeans done up when the doorbell rings again.
‘I’ve got it,’ I yell. I’ve not had time to put my shirt on yet, but I’m not averse to Evie seeing me with my clothes off. I open the door, full of expectations. I have to say, I’m not disappointed in the slightest. The morning sun catches behind her blonde hair, making it look like she has a golden halo around her head. Her eyes are twinkling with excitement and her lips look as kissable as ever. I allow myself the very briefest of glances down her body, yet my eyes miss nothing. The swell of her breasts underneath her summer dress, narrow hips beneath her belted waist
—everything I can see from the surface makes me want to strip her bare and discover all there is to know about her.
‘Hey,’ I say
, grinning.
‘Hi.’ She’s a little shy, as though she’s still not sure wha
t exactly she’s doing here. ‘Um…’ she coughs, ‘do you need a minute?’ she asks, trying to drag her eyes away from my bare chest.
‘Nope, I’m all good. I was thinking it’s too hot for clothes today anyway.’ She looks unsure, not really believing I’m not going to finish getting dressed. I laugh, because that’s all I want to do when I’m around Evie. She makes me happy in ways I can’t even describe. ‘I’m joking, let me just grab a shirt.’
She waits while I finish dressing and tie the laces on my boots. I yell to Rob that I’m on my way out and take Evie’s hand in mine as I close the front door. What makes me really content is that she doesn’t take it back. She keeps it rested safely in mine, having faith that I’m not about to betray the trust she has in me—in us.
‘So, you called.’
‘I told you I would.’
'I hate to admit this to you, but I’ve been sitting by that phone since last week.’
‘You did not.’
‘Really, I did.’
She takes her bottom lip into her mouth, sucking it hard so she won’t let slip a smile.
‘Is that a smile I can see?’
‘Uh-uh,’ she shakes her head.
‘I think it is.’
‘No way, you must be mistaken.’
‘I’m going to make you smile so much today your face is gonna hurt.’
‘I don’t think that’s even possible.’
‘Challenge accepted. How long have I got you for?’ She checks her watch, frowning a little.
‘Maybe four hours, tops.’
‘Well then, we’re going to have to hurry and jam a lot in, aren’t we?’
‘What did you have in mind?’
‘Have you ever been to the Royal Brisbane Exhibition?’
‘The Ekka?’ she says with a laugh.
‘Yeah.’
‘Not since I was a kid,’ she remembers fondly.
‘Well, perfect timing then. The show’s on and I can tell you’re in need of a Dagwood Dog and fairy floss. And let’s not forget the rides.’
‘Okay… sounds like—’
‘Fun?’
‘Yes. Fun.’
She grins at me as we hurry down to the dock to catch the City Cat Ferry that’s fast approaching.
EVIE
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so free. It really has to be one of the most basic rights that I used to take for granted. Now, it’s so foreign to me that I’m a little scared to really let go. A part of me doesn’t want to believe that I deserve this, that I deserve to let go and live a little
—and that’s all because I know I have to go home to
him
at the end of the day. The problem is, when you give a caged bird a little freedom, they never want to go back to the bars that have held them captive. Now that I feel I have taken that first step out of my cage, I don’t ever want to go back.
Up until a couple of months ago, I never dreamed that I would ever again get to live a life
—a normal life—where I can do as I please, when I please. But since meeting Grayson, all that’s changed.
He gives me hope, when all I’ve had is darkness. He gives me love, when all I’ve felt is pain. Grayson makes me feel like there isn’t a single thing I couldn’t do. After being supressed for so long, I know in my heart that I can’t go back. There is no way I can bear a lifetime of Alex’s abuse. I want out, I want my freedom and I want it now.
‘You seem a million miles away,’ Grayson says, brushing a strand of hair out of my face.
‘I’m here.’
‘Really? ‘Cause I reckon I could have kissed you then and you wouldn’t have even noticed,’ he laughs.
‘Oh, I would have noticed alright.’
‘Hmm, maybe we should test that out then.’
‘
Grayson! There’s too many people about.’
It’s true. The throng of people pushing and shoving as they make their way through the fairgrounds is overwhelming. Normally I would feel insecure in such a big crowd, but being with Grayson makes me feel safe; his confidence is reassuring.
He’s gentle, too. I try not to laugh as he carefully checks the safety restraints on all the rides we go on, making sure I’m buckled in safely. It would have been insulting to him if I did, but it’s a gesture I appreciate.
‘Well, if you’ve had enough of the rides, you want to grab those famous Dagwood Dogs and go and find a place to sit and eat?’
‘Sure, I’m starving.’
‘Why didn’t you say so?’
‘Because I was having too much fun with you.’
‘Well that’s good to know, but I don’t want you wasting away to nothing. Come on.’
He takes my hand in his again, which already feels so familiar. We make our way to one of the fast food caravans and purchase the battered sausages that are so stodgy and salty. Grayson makes sure we have drinks to wash it all down with before leading me over to a spare patch on the grassy hill that overlooks the horse arena.
We quietly eat our Dogs, watching the crowd as it flows like a wave in front of us. People rush in and out of the gymkhana exhibition, leaving us in the perfect little bubble we have created. I know it won’t be long before I’m going to have to leave Grayson, but it feels too soon to say goodbye. It makes me achingly sad to go home to a place that is so barren of warmth and love.
‘Had enough to eat?’
I peel my eyes off the horse that is making its way through a series of jumps. I laugh when I see Grayson’s face. He’s completely oblivious to the fact he has tomato sauce smeared at the side of his mouth.
‘Come here,’ I say, reaching for the offending condiment that remains on the stubble of his face. I remove the sauce with my thumb before licking it clean.
‘Evie?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Don’t be offended, but I think from now on I’m going to become a very messy eater.’
‘Why’s that? You think sauce looks sexy on a man?’
‘No, but the way you just licked that sauce off your thumb was the most erotic thing I’ve seen in a long while.’
I blush, full of embarrassment. Grayson leaves no time for me to suddenly get shy about it. He pulls me closer so I’m sitting between his legs, arms wrapped around my waist. He holds me, just holds me so close that I can smell everything about him. His aftershave mingles with the shampoo he uses on his hair— it’s a heady male scent that I can’t get enough of. He lightly brushes my hair away from my neck, placing a delicate kiss on my heated skin.
‘Would I scare you if I told you I never want this day to end?’ he murmurs against my skin. I take a sharp intake of breath.
‘I feel the same.’
‘I don’t want to scare you, Evie, but when you’re gone, I miss everything about you.’
‘Don’t…’
‘I’d be lying if I said I
didn’t. What’s your life like… when you go home to him?’ He’s cautious, but I can tell it’s something that bothers him. I know he wants to know more about me, who I really I am and what makes me this way. I’ve never before dared to reveal to anyone what life with Alex is really like. I can hardly believe I’m about to do it now… yet… the words just come tumbling out.
‘It’s horrible. In the beginning I
’d thought I had met my Prince Charming—someone who I could tell my deepest darkest fears to—now all I fear is him. He’s emotionally and physically abusive and he… he degrades me in ways I couldn’t even tell you about.’
My voice catches, the raw emotion of years of suppressed hurt and anger catching up with me big time. Like a river, the words tumble out, spelling out each and every humiliating facet of my marriage.
He says nothing as I tell a tale of neglect, abuse, and the kind of love that only comes into play when it’s associated with the words ‘to hurt’. Yes, that describes Alex exactly. Loves to hurt, loves to control.
I don’t know why I tell all this to Grayson now, but I know that this is something I’ve needed to get off my chest for a long time. My day for confession has been long overdue. The funny thing is
, I thought I would be embarrassed telling him about the more debasing aspects of my marriage. All I feel radiating off him is empathy. He holds me tighter, trying to squeeze all the hurt from my body and bleed a new life back into me.
We sit on the grass as the world goes on around us, me talking, him listening.
‘I know it’s easier said than done, but how come you’ve never left? Don’t you have family or anyone else who should have seen what was going on?’
‘I do have parents, but they sold me out a long time ago
—literally. Our family had quite a crippling debt by the nineties and my father had a gambling habit that fuelled the bankruptcy fire endlessly. He was close to signing the last of the estates over to the bank when Alex made him a deal he couldn’t refuse.’
‘He sold you?’
‘I guess you could say that. They traded. Alex got me unconditionally, and daddy got his debts cleared, held on to generations of family estates and received a huge cash sum to live off.’
‘How could you go willingly?’
‘Oh, the lie was sold to me good and proper, believe me. Before our wedding he was… charming; never kind, but seductively charming. And with my father in my ear supporting Alex’s stories, I was sold. By the time the ink was dry on our marriage papers, it was too late. We were all in bed with each other. They all had investments to protect. I’m not supposed to know any of this, but I found the contract between Alex and my father one day while I was visiting home.’
‘Evie, you have to get out of there. Let me help you.’
‘There is nothing you can do, Grayson.’
‘I may not have much money, but I would give you my very last if it meant the difference between you staying with him or coming with me.’
I turn around to look at him, tears now streaming down my face. I want to sob, really cry my heart out and hand over the whole of myself to this man who cares so much for me. I want to give him my life to take it and make it whole again. It pains me to see so much possibility with someone so genuine and yet the man who wears many masks holds my fate in his hands.
‘There are so many reasons to go, Grayson
—so, so many. But at the same time, there are so many reasons to stay too.’
He brushes the tears from my cheeks, anguish written all over his beautiful face. He looks like a bear with a sore paw and I want to kiss him and make it better. How can someone as damaged as myself possibly heal another?
‘The only thing that matters is your happiness; the only thing, do you hear me? I’m not going to let you go back to him and let him treat you that way, Evie, I couldn’t live with myself.’
‘If I leave, the contract between Alex and my father gets voided. Everything they ever worked for gets flushed down the toilet. Alex’s company would swoop up all the assets and sell them off, making them dirt poor by lunch time and all without breaking a sweat.’
Grayson laughs now, relief washing over his features,
‘Is that all? You’re much more important than a few assets, Evie, surely your parents realise that. I’d hardly think they would give a shit about having money if they knew how he was treating you.’
‘My father already knows,’ I say quietly.
‘He knows?’ He’s incredulous and suddenly very angry. ‘How can he stand to see you in his clutches for a minute longer? Doesn’t he know how dangerous it is for you to be with him?’
‘Yes, he does, which is precisely why I’m still with him.’
‘I’m lost.’
‘You’re forgetting that I was part of the deal. There is no way he would ever let me go. His sights were set firmly on me long before he orchestrated things with my father. It was his intention to get me in the first place
—any way he could. He’s not going to let me go easily—or should I say, at all.’
‘If you leave him, there’s not a damn thing he can do to keep you, Evie.’
‘That’s where you are wrong. His pockets are so deep you could get lost in them. There isn’t a single person he wouldn’t buy or bribe to get what he wants. One thing I am certain of after being with him all this time is that he definitely wants me. He would do anything to keep me his, and only his—forever.’
He cups my face with his hands, desperately searching for a way between us to make this right.
‘What are you saying?’ he asks.
‘What I’m saying is that he would do
anything
. There is only one way out of this marriage for me.’
‘Are you saying
…’
‘If I do anything to try to leave, if you even for a second seem like you’re trying to help me, if he even suspects for a minute that something is amiss
—he’ll kill us both.’