“How’s the shooting?”
He wished he was wide enough to hide Nyssa
from his grandfather’s view. The Colonel peered in, “Hello, Nyssa,”
didn’t blush for a second then stepped back and gave him a long
even smile that penetrated his defenses.
“It looks like the shooting was pleasurable
indeed. I’d say the two of you work together just as if you were
one.”
***
“I didn’t plan it. You can’t think.”
“Of course I don’t think you planned
it.”
“Then why are you so angry?”
“Don’t you know?”
“If I knew, I wouldn’t ask,” he said
ferociously.
She turned her back on him and glared out
the window. “You’re not stupid.”
She heard Sarah putter around in the
kitchen, and although she’d kept her voice low, she didn’t doubt
that Sarah and the Colonel heard every word of her conversation
with Solo.
This was a complete and utter embarrassment.
The engagement ring Solo had tried to give her last night was
around her finger and she played with it nervously. Every time she
thought of the position the Colonel found her in, she felt the hot
sting of her own guilt. There was nothing she wanted more than to
vanish.
She was so furious with herself, she
couldn’t think straight. Never in a lifetime would she have
imagined herself such a bimbo that she would throw herself at Solo.
But she had. Only a few short hours ago--twice--and now he expected
her to sit with his grandparents and discuss nonsense over
breakfast.
Her stomach rolled.
Damn the man
. Last night
she’d succumbed to every romantic fantasy she’d ever had about him
and this morning--
He wanted me as much as I
wanted him
. No, he didn’t. There had to be
some reason, some misconception on her part. Her romantic fantasies
must be taking over.
More than anything she’d wanted him to make
love to her. Even though she’d been in love with Solo for more
years than she cared to remember, he didn’t love her, at least not
in that way. Good heavens, she wasn’t any better than the job
applicants she’d just rescued him from.
She wasn’t like that. Her motto had always
been control. For the first few years of their ‘pal’ relationship
she’d reminded herself of that every minute she was awake. Control
being the key word for her, but even back then she’d acknowledged
she was like a kid sister to him.
Now she had to remind herself again,
control. Control. She had a fiancé that waited for her in Bend. A
real one, not just one who needed her for a few weeks every now and
then. Not one who wanted a favor then discarded her when she was no
longer of use.
“What’s the matter with you two?” Sarah
asked. Solo’s grandmother stood beside her with a hot cup of coffee
in one hand and an all-knowing expression on her face.
“Nothing.”
“Come on dear. Come sit down then you can
tell me all about it.”
Nyssa cast a helpless look to Solo, and
wished he’d either come to her rescue or she would drop through the
floor to China.
“Why do I get the idea you already
know?”
“Well, the Colonel did give me his version.”
Sarah smiled again. “Don’t worry, Nyssa. I think it’s a good sign
for your marriage. I’m just glad the Colonel arrived in time.”
Nyssa felt the guilt and the betrayal sweep
through her.
“He did, didn’t he? Arrive in time?”
“Yes,” Nyssa choked.
“Solo did tell me he’d wait for the wedding
night.”
Nyssa no longer wanted to drop through to
China, she wanted to send Solo there. How dare he insinuate such
nonsense and embarrass her so.
“What this means is that we were right in
planning a quick marriage. The sooner the better.”
“Sooner?” She was speechless. How could they
get any sooner? But when Sarah arrived so promptly, she’d known it
was only a matter of days. And she was right.
This had to stop. This wasn’t right and it
wasn’t fair to anyone, least of all Sarah.
“Of course dear. You must have heard that
Reverend Thomas arrived with us yesterday, and we did tell him he
wouldn’t have to stay long. We could have the wedding on the front
porch. I ordered flowers, and the florist promised me they should
arrive by this time tomorrow. You do like orchids don’t you?”
“Orchids?” In Alaska. That was interesting.
How on earth would she keep them fresh? And if they arrived
tomorrow, did that mean what she thought it meant?
“I will not get married tomorrow,” Nyssa
turned from Sarah. “I don’t want to hurt you but Solo and I have a
lot of problems that need a solution before I can marry him. You’ve
got to understand.”
“Oh, I do dear. I went through them too,
just before my wedding to the Colonel. Prenuptial jitters, that’s
all they are. You’ll get over them after the wedding, on your
honeymoon night. I’m sure of it. You’ve nothing to be afraid of,
and we really must hurry or the wedding night will come before the
wedding.”
Solo snickered. It had to be her imagination
because Solo would never snicker. This wasn’t funny, nothing was
funny. The arrangement was a nightmare and the worst thing was that
she wanted to marry him. If he only loved her.
“Tomorrow will be fine,” he said. “Won’t it
darling?”
He stood beside her now,
her hand held tightly in his.
At least he
didn’t call me pumpkin
. She felt tension
slide from her.
“Fine.” The situation wouldn’t change. There
would be a wedding night but they’d lie in separate beds. Nothing
would change. But a wedding wasn’t an engagement and what on earth
would Robert say to all this if he knew?
“We have our hearts set. The sooner the
better,” Solo fixed a determined smile on his face.
“We’ve invited your friends from the bike
shop,” Sarah said. “I hope that’s all right. Michael and David from
the study group too.”
Nyssa thought she’d faint,
knew she wanted to throw the ring at Solo.
It will all work out. Oh, yeah. If my friends at the bike
shop know then Robert is bound to find out
.
“When will they be here?” Proud of herself,
Nyssa got the question out without one stutter. Throwing the ring
at Solo began to take on a unique symbolism. If Candace and April
did show up expecting a wedding, what then?
She was getting nauseous again.
“Excuse me. I need to be alone for awhile.”
She ran to the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. Once
there she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to throw herself on the
bed and cry herself to sleep or toss her clothes in her bag so she
could leave. Under these circumstances, the ten mile hike to the
trading post didn’t seem too long.
Instead, she rummaged through her dresser in
search of a sleep shirt and decided that after a few hours with her
eyes closed everything would be back to normal. She was struggling
with the buttons on the shirt as Solo entered the room. Slipping in
quietly, he closed the door then rested his back against it. “I’m
sorry,” he said. “I know this is all happening too fast, but I
don’t know what else to do.”
“You’ve ruined my life.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I don’t
mean to. Life’s not good for me either right now. Can you honestly
think I like this? I should have known the Colonel wouldn’t be
satisfied until he saw us married. But we can get an annulment as
soon as grandmother’s better. Call Robert. Tell him. If the guy is
as perfect as you claim he is, he’ll understand.”
Nyssa climbed into bed then pounded the
pillows a couple of times, thinking of them as the Colonel’s and
Solo’s heads respectively. When she was quite done, she turned to
him with the most furious scowl she could summon.
“He’ll understand. Is that all you can
say?”
Solo was beside the bed in one swift stride
and before she could move, he knelt so they were eye level. She
didn’t want to look at him, or be so close to him. Her will-power
was not strong enough to withstand him.
“Would it really be so bad--pretending to be
my wife?”
His voice dropped to a near whisper, his
eyes and mouth assuming the expression that did her in every time.
He manipulated her again and hadn’t she vowed only a few days ago
she wouldn’t fall prey to his charm? Hadn’t she?
“We’ll get through the day and no one will
know the difference. When grandma feels better, we’ll tell them the
story over a few beers and laugh. They’ll think you’re a saint for
your part in this adventure, and before you know we’ll go on with
our lives just as we’ve planned. You’ll marry old Robert and he’ll
keep you barefoot and pregnant.”
Was he ever wrong? She’d never be the same
after they married. But what good would it do her if she was his
wife when he didn’t love her?
Over the years, she’d watched every woman
Solo had ever known lust after him. It was all part of the package
but she’d gone one step too far. She lusted after him also. And
now, after Solo kissed her and held her, she didn’t think she could
marry Robert.
“I’m no saint, Solo St. John.”
“By this time tomorrow you will be.”
Nyssa covered her head with quilts,
burrowing into the pillows she wanted to toss at him. How could he
make jokes when she was worried sick and a basket-case to boot?
“Come on, Nyssa. Don’t quit on me now.”
“I won’t.” She knew her words were muffled,
but she also knew he understood when she heard his long relieved
sigh.
“I know it won’t be easy but we’ll get
through this. Trust me.”
“We’ve made a mess so far,” she said, her
words garbled by the pillows.
“Tomorrow will be different. After that
we’ll be here together. Just the two of us and we can finish the
research in peace and quiet.”
He pulled the covers off her face then
kissed her forehead. A brotherly kiss but she felt the jolt all the
way to the pit of her stomach. It took all the control she had not
to reach behind his neck and pull him closer.
“Just the two of us,” he said.
Alone and married.
***
Not even sleep could slow the
pound--pound--pound of her heart or the horrible sense of doom that
settled around her. She punched at the pillows a couple more times
then rolled over and hugged one to her chest.
How had her resolve withered and died in so
short a time? No matter how many times she swore off Solo, he found
a way back to her heart. She was a wimp, a certifiable weak-kneed
wimp.
When she looked at Solo, her heart pounded
madly. When she heard his voice, her breath caught in her throat
and when he touched her she melted. Damn, damn and double damn.
The phone by her bed rang
incessantly.
Let it ring.
It rang and the noise seemed to grow louder and
louder, each blare more persistent than the first. No one
answered.
“Hello?” Her voice was shaky, whisper thin
and hovered near the edge. It didn’t sound like her voice yet it
was. She only wanted whoever intruded on her sleep and her
nightmares to go away.
“Nyssa?”
Robert
!
“What?” One second passed before she sat up,
wide awake. Her heart raced madly. “What do you want?”
“Do I have to want something?” he asked.
“No.” Her hand trembled on the receiver.
“Look, Robert. I was asleep. It’s been a long night and.”
“You can’t spare a minute?”
His voice had taken on a hard edge in a tone
that implied so much more than the question.
“I’m exhausted.” She rose from the bed. The
day was depressing, gray clouds above firmly blanketing the sun and
its warmth. A shiver started up her spine and she hugged herself
but it did no good. Her robe was thrown across a chair so she
reached for it. The phone cord stretched taut, and she muttered an
expletive when she couldn’t reach far enough.
“Nyssa. What’s wrong? Do you have something
to tell me?” She could hear him tap--tap--tap, a pencil or a pen.
It droned on, hammering in the same rhythm as the headache she
suddenly acquired.
“No.”
“No?” Now he sounded angry. Perfect Robert
didn’t get angry because he was always in control, and she’d never
heard Robert’s voice escalate to emotion let alone anger.
“Umm.” She cleared her throat. He couldn’t
know the truth, could he? For one long horrible moment she thought
Solo might have told him. But she knew Solo. He would never betray
her yet she almost wished he had.
“Nyssa. I saw the picture.” His voice
enunciated each word with staccato precision.
“What picture?”
“Come on Nyssa. Don’t play dumb. The one in
the tabloid. The one that features on the front page my fiancée
kissing the wildlife photographer, the billionaire grandson of the
wealthy newspaper magnate.”