Authors: Joan Jonker
‘Anyway,’ Sadie was saying, ‘I’m goin’ me own way from now on. I’ve got a date next week to go to a dance, so that’s a start.’
Harry felt his heart miss a beat. ‘Who’ve yer got a date with?’
‘A bloke in work. He’s one of these smarmy fellers, thinks because he’s nice-looking all the girls should throw themselves at him. But I’ve got him taped. He won’t get very far with me.’
‘Well, if yer think that about him, why date him?’
‘Because he can take me to a dance, that’s why! I can’t afford to buy me own clothes and pay to go anywhere, not on a shilling pocket money! I’m sixteen a week on Monday, Harry, and I haven’t got any of the things most girls my age have. No make-up, perfume, pretty clothes … nothing!’ If Sadie had known what was in Harry’s heart, she wouldn’t have carried on. But she thought of him as a good friend, someone who had been kind to her. ‘If I can get some bloke to take me out, I can spend what little money I’ve got on trying to make meself look presentable.’
It was on the tip of Harry’s tongue to say he’d take her out – she didn’t need to date any bloke just because he’d pay for her. But he could hear his mother’s words echoing in his head. ‘If I see her trying to get pally with you, I’ll have something to say to her, believe me.’ And she’d do that, his mother, thinking she was saving him from a fate worse than death. He couldn’t take a chance on putting Sadie through that. But there was one thing for which he’d throw caution to the winds. ‘You haven’t forgotten I’m taking you to the pictures on yer birthday, have you? I got in before anyone else, remember?’
‘D’yer mean on the Monday?’
‘That’s the day yer birthday’s on, so yes!’
Sadie looked pleased. She’d never been out on her birthday before. In fact, birthdays in the Wilsons’ house passed without an acknowledgement of any kind. No cards, no presents and certainly no party. ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’ Then she touched his arm. ‘Can I ask you to take me somewhere else, not the pictures?’
‘Of course you can. Where would you like to go?’
‘Over to New Brighton on a ferry boat.’ Her hands clasped together, her eyes alight with excitement, Harry thought she looked like a child hoping for a treat. ‘I’ve never been on a ferry boat.’
Harry was taken aback. ‘Never been on a ferry boat? Never sailed across the Mersey?’
Sadie shook her head. ‘No, never. It would be a lovely birthday present, Harry, but only if yer can afford it.’
‘I can afford it, Sadie. Me wages are not bad, and me mam doesn’t take that much off me.’ Harry’s mind was running away with him. He couldn’t call for her or meet her in the street, that would be asking for trouble. ‘We could go straight from work and spend an hour at the fairground.’
‘Ooh, that would be lovely.’ Sadie was so happy she cupped his face and kissed him. ‘Yer a nice bloke, Harry. You and Mary Ann are me very best friends.’
‘Aye, well, I don’t mind bein’ yer friend, but I don’t want a friend’s kiss. Come here, I want me tanner’s worth.’
Sadie smiled. ‘Yer still want to pay me for letting yer kiss me?’
Harry’s voice was gruff. ‘You told me yer’d spent all yer money, so how would yer buy yer pennyworth of chips all next week?’
‘I’d go without, Harry.’
‘Not while I’m around yer won’t. You’ll never be short if I’ve got anything to do with it.’
‘If you don’t kiss me and get off to see this girlfriend of yours, she’ll definitely give you the heave-ho.’
Harry silenced her with his lips. Soft and light, not hard and bruising like Alec’s.
On the Friday night Sadie ate her sardines on toast without a murmur. She didn’t like sardines and Lily knew that, but tonight wasn’t the time for complaints. She was meeting Alec at Everton Valley and he was taking her to a dance, but as yet she hadn’t plucked up the courage to tell her mother. If they had cross words she’d be told she couldn’t go, just for spite, and Sadie wasn’t taking any chances. The best thing to do was get ready first, and then ask permission in as humble a voice as she could muster.
There was no mirror in the bedroom so Sadie had to make do without being able to see how she looked. From the neck down she was satisfied with what she could see of her appearance and she’d check her hair in the broken piece of mirror in the kitchen before she went out. That’s if she managed to get out. Her mother seemed to have it in for her these days and picked on her for the least thing.
There was no handrail on the steep, narrow staircase – it had been used for firewood years ago. So Sadie put her hand on the wall as she stepped carefully down each stair, her high heels clicking loudly on the bare boards. When she reached the bottom, she stood for a moment before crossing her fingers for luck and taking a deep breath.
The baby was in bed and the other children were out playing in the street, so that was a blessing. Her mother and father were sat next to each other at the cluttered table, reading the
Echo
between them.
‘Mam, I’m going to a dance tonight with a boy from work. Will it be all right if I’m a bit late coming in?’
Lily looked up, and seeing her daughter took her back over the years. It was almost like looking at herself. She’d been as pretty as Sadie at her age – with the same colouring, same hair and same lovely figure. But the memory didn’t soften her heart because it reminded her of how much she’d let herself go. Not that she placed the blame at her own door. Oh no. In her twisted mind she blamed giving birth to the children for losing her looks and figure, particularly the girl facing her now – a constant reminder of how things used to be.
When her mother didn’t answer, Sadie became bold and ventured, ‘Shall I take a key with me in case yer in bed?’
‘No need for that,’ George said, before his wife could answer. ‘I’ll wait up for yer.’
‘You’ll do no such thing!’ Lily turned on him, angry at the lustful way he was eyeing his daughter. It was his leer that turned the tide in Sadie’s favour. ‘Go on, get out,’ she said, wanting the girl out of her sight. ‘We’ll leave the back door on the latch. But don’t think yer can come sneaking in at all hours ’cos I’ll be listenin’ for yer.’
‘I won’t, Mam.’ Sadie beat a hasty retreat. ‘I’ll go out the back way.’ After a quick glance in the spotted mirror she was on her way to her first dance.
‘Is this it?’ Sadie couldn’t hide her disappointment as she stood with Alec outside the wooden building. She’d imagined dance halls to be bright fashionable places, not little wooden huts. ‘It doesn’t look like a dance hall to me.’
‘It belongs to the church and it’s not so bad inside.’ Alec steered her forward. ‘If yer want to learn to dance without makin’ a fool of yerself then this place is as good as any.’
Inside the door a man sat behind a little card table taking the money and giving tickets in return. It cost fourpence each and the man told Alec to hang on to the tickets because he’d need them to get a cup of tea and biscuit in the interval.
‘It’s bigger than it looks from the outside,’ Sadie said, watching with envy the couples dancing to the tune of a waltz. ‘They can’t half dance – they’re certainly not beginners.’
Alec laughed. ‘No, the ones sitting down are the beginners. They won’t venture onto the floor until it’s packed and no one will notice them tripping over their feet.’
‘Aye, well, here’s their mate. I don’t fancy makin’ a fool of meself, either.’
‘You’ll be all right.’ Alec squeezed her arm. ‘I’m not much of a dancer but I do know the basic steps an’ all you’ve got to do is follow me.’
‘Is that all!’ Sadie watched the ease and grace of the dancers as they circled the floor, their steps perfectly matched and their body movements in time with the pianist Sadie could now see sitting in the corner of the room. ‘Shall we sit down for a while an’ I can watch to get some idea of how it’s done?’
Alec glanced around the room and then down at Sadie. She had to be the best-looking girl there. ‘We’ll wait for the next waltz,’ he said as they walked towards two vacant chairs. ‘The next dance will be a slow foxtrot an’ that’s the hardest to learn.’
‘I’ll be glad if I can learn to just put one foot in front of the other, that’ll do me for one night.’
‘Yer’ll do more than that, Sadie.’ Alec slipped his arm across her shoulders. ‘There’s only three basic steps to a waltz – yer’ll learn them by the time yer halfway down the floor.’
He wasn’t far wrong, either. Holding her slightly away from him so she could see his feet, Alec kept repeating, ‘
One
, two, three …
one
, two, three.’ And in no time at all, Sadie had picked up the rhythm and was grinning all over her face. ‘I’ll be all right until we come to a corner.’
‘There’s one coming up, Sadie.’ Alec was very patient as he manoeuvred them around the corner. He was also very conscious of the admiring glances coming Sadie’s way and he revelled in the fact that he was the envy of
half
the blokes in the room. But to remind them that she belonged to him, he pulled her close. ‘Yer don’t need to see me feet now yer’ve got the steps off.’
‘If yer start any fancy footwork, Alec, I’ll leave the floor.’
‘As if I’d do that to you!’ While he was smiling down into her face, Alec took the opportunity of moving his hand sideways from her shoulder blade, just far enough for it to be an easy distance for his thumb to travel to the side of her breast. He casually moved it up and down as he continued to talk. ‘Yer’ve got a natural rhythm, Sadie, it won’t take yer long. I bet within a few months yer as good as anyone here tonight.’
‘I wonder if I’ll be as quick as you, Alec?’ Sadie’s eyes left him in no doubt of what she was talking about. ‘I think you are very quick off the mark.’
Alec kept smiling and his thumb kept moving slowly over her breast. He was quite certain she wouldn’t cause a stink in the dance hall. ‘If yer not quick in this life, Sadie, then yer get left behind.’
‘I’ll remember that, Alec.’ Sadie let him have his pleasure. After all, it wasn’t really doing her any harm and he had paid fourpence for the privilege. He was using her and she was using him; they made a good pair. But she’d make sure that in future the privilege would cost him more than fourpence. And she’d make sure he never got what he was really after.
The interval was over and Sadie waited patiently for the pianist to play a waltz. She’d been on the floor several times and was excited about her progress. ‘Will yer bring me again next week, Alec? I’ll be practising every chance I get, so I should be a lot better by then.’
‘Yeah, okay! But can yer make it Saturday? Otherwise I’ve got to borrow off me mam.’
Sadie thought of Harry and pursed her lips. ‘Can I let yer know through the week? I’ve half-promised to go somewhere on Saturday.’
‘Who with?’ Alec felt a pang of jealousy. ‘Yer haven’t got another feller on the go, have yer?’
‘Don’t be daft! It’s only a neighbour, but I did promise.’
‘You can get out of it. Yer would if yer really wanted to.’
‘I’ve said I’ll try, Alec, so let’s leave it at that, eh? I’ll let yer know for sure at the beginning of the week.’ When she saw the droop of Alec’s mouth, Sadie thought, My God, he’s another Brenda. Sulks like a child when he can’t get his own way.
The pianist struck up with a waltz and Sadie was on her feet before Alec. ‘Come on, I want to get in as much practice as I can.’
An elated Sadie was clapping at the end of the dance when she noticed the clock on the wall. ‘Alec, it’s half-past ten! I’ll have to go.’
‘Oh, come on, Sadie, there’s only another two dances before the last waltz. Yer can stay till then, surely?’
Sadie shook her head. ‘It’ll be eleven o’clock by the time I walk home, and if I’m any later than that I’ll get a thick ear.’
‘Is it always goin’ to be like this? You dashin’ off and leaving me in the lurch without even a good-night kiss?’
‘It won’t always be like this, but right now me and me mam are not seeing eye to eye. I’m sixteen on Monday and I think that as long as I tell her where I’m going, and with who, then she should trust me. Anyway, I haven’t got time to argue the toss now, so if yer want yer good-night kiss yer better walk me out. Yer can always come back in again – there’s plenty of unattached girls.’
Alec had already noted that. There was one in the far corner who’d been giving him the eye all night; she’d probably be generous with her favours. She wasn’t in the same class as Sadie for looks, but in a dark doorway he wouldn’t see, or care, what her face was like. ‘I’ll see yer to the top of the street and come back for the last few dances.’
There was an entry before they came to the top of the street and, despite her protests, Sadie was pulled into its shadows. Alec wasted no time. His lips came down hard on hers and his hands travelled over her body. It took all Sadie’s might to free herself, but she remained in control of her feelings. ‘As I said, Alec, yer quick off the mark.’
‘Yer don’t give me time to be anythin’ else!’ Alec’s desire was roused. ‘One of these days perhaps we’ll get half an hour alone together.’
‘Could be, Alec, could be. But right now I’ve got to run. I’ll see yer in work tomorrow.’
Alec watched her slim legs cover the ground for a while before walking back to the dance hall. He crossed the room to where the girl he had in mind was sitting. When he saw her face light up with pleasure, he knew she was going to be a walkover. Close up, he could see she had a face like the back of a tram, but it wasn’t her face he was interested in. If he closed his eyes he could make believe she was Sadie.
Sadie had her shilling pocket money clutched in her hand as she stood looking into the chemist’s window. She had to pay Mary Ann the money she owed her, so she was left with sixpence to spend. She was badly in need of a comb, but they were only a penny. It was what to do with the other five pennies that she was deliberating. Did she need scented soap more than a lipstick? It would have to be the soap because there wasn’t any in the house and she’d had to swill her face in cold water before she came out. Even if her mother bought a block this afternoon after getting her wages it would be that horrible smelly scrubbing soap. So it would have to be the soap and she could wait until next week for the lipstick.