Ryder's Last Run (Dueling Dragons MC Series) (21 page)

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Ryder

I am broken and my life is no longer what it once was. I am a changed man. The past few months I have visited Hell and returned with a new conviction about myself and the man I am. Either she understands, and promises to stand behind me and the choices I have to make in life
, or she move on without me. I have a responsibility to the Dueling Dragons brotherhood first and foremost now.

I can still hear her parting words that she hates me burning through me as she walked out the door. Out the fucking door without a look back.

Fuck this. I need to work out this frustration and feel the inner pain. I decide to go for a ride and then hit up the gym in town. I need to feel my fist hitting flesh. I need that adrenaline high I get from fighting. It makes me feel alive and in tune with myself. I need to feel the wind at my back and just get away. It’s been months since I rode hard.

Zig and the boys left this morning on a run
, so it’s a solo ride, I guess. I grab my shit and head out the door. I look back at the office. I still see Faith standing there, afraid of me. The memory of it burns through me.

I had the world at my feet before this nightmare transpired. My woman has lost her trust in me, my brother has betrayed me
, and I have a son that I never knew existed. My life is fucked up and I just need to numb the pain. I need to ride and I need to fight. I’ve had a load of responsibility dumped on me, and I didn’t fucking ask for it, but it’s mine to handle now.

As I walk out to the common area of the club, I notice Peggy sitting on a couch holding her kid. It hits me because of Bambi and Flem, I’ve lost those years with my son and I can never get them back. Fucking selfish people have always tried to dictate my life. First my father, and now Bambi and Flem. I trust no one at this point. I am on my own.

I start up my bike and release the throttle. When I return I have to bite the bullet and take over this fucking place and decide who’s with me and who’s not. Those that are not on board with the new leadership can piss off.

When I arrive at the gym
, Fat Boy’s bike in the parking lot. Fuck, is there no escaping them today? I decide to go in and just let loose in the ring for a few hours. I’ve caged the beast within me for too long. I need to let it out and let it howl. Fat Boy is busy working out and lifting weights when I walk in, so I nod and walk over to the ring to find a sparring partner. There’s a guy who can fit me into his schedule in about thirty minutes. I decide to tape my hands and work out on the punching bag to unleash some built up anger.

I walk over to the bag, put in my iPod
, and hit play. The first song up is
Five Finger Death Punch’s “Coming Down,”
which is a great song is considering how dark I feel right now. I crank it up and begin to warm up on the bag and increase my rhythm along to the beat of the music, letting myself go. I take myself away from the thoughts of Faith, of Bambi and Flem’s betrayal, of having to become a father. I feel so pulled under.

I let the lyrics of the song take me away to a place
where I feel balanced and the guilt I feel over hurting Faith is hidden. I feel as though I’m trapped and I can’t escape no matter which way I turn. I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is on the horizon. I try to shake it off and work the bag.

After about twenty minutes of working out my frustration on the bag, the dude that I reserved some time with to spar with me lets me know he’s ready for me. I towel my face
; I’ve worked up a good sweat. I feel like I’ve put some of the negative feelings behind for now.

I decide to jump into the ring and we go over the ground rules for his sparing help. I hate fuckers that put rules on shit. I just want to fight and feel my fists hitting flesh. I don’t fight with any particular style. Somebody in the gym turns on music and
“Broken” by Seether
is playing. I close my eyes to center myself because this is the way I feel right now. I feel the pain. It makes me relive those days I was locked away and missing Faith. I thrived on the hurt and the loneliness of not having her. I channeled those feelings and I could take pain, feel it, and make it work to my own advantage. Now, the pain just sits there, festering inside of me. I don’t know how to channel it, other than to fight my demons within me.

My training partner
and I meet in the middle of the ring, bump knuckles, and I come out raging. After one hit, he’s down and out cold. Fuck. Why did I do that? I walk over to him and give him a little kick. Nothing.

The gym manager jumps up to check the dude out and looks at me. “What the fuck did you do
, man?”

I shrug. “I only hit him once.”

The manager shakes his head and pulls out a vial of smelling salts to revive the guy. He pops it open and runs it under my partner’s nose. They guy comes to, very slowly. He looks around, dazed and confused. The manager sits him up and the dude seems to be okay.

I decide I need to get the hell out of here. I jump out of the ring and begin to unwrap my hands of the tape. I look up and Fat Boy walking toward me. “Dude, what the fuck did you do to that guy?”

I shrug. “One hit and he went down.”

Fat Boy shakes his head and just looks at me with wonder in his eyes. I look over at the guy in the ring with the manager. He’ll be okay
, so I turn to leave.

“See ya back at the club
, brother.”

Fat Boy nods and
goes back to working out. He may be skinny but he’s all muscle, and I know he works out here every day. I think I need to get myself into a regular routine and hopefully find a trainer to keep my skills up. I’m not sure if I want to walk away from fighting every now and then. The money is good and it’s fast and easy.

I head out to my bike and think about Faith. I wonder how she’s feeling. I know I frightened her earlier. I had so many things bottled up and I just couldn’t hold them in anymore. When she took the ring off, she gutted me. She fucking ripped my heart out and handed it back to me with that ring in her hand.

I don’t know if we can fix us. She won’t look at the whole picture. It was all supposed to be simple. Run the cargo, deliver it, and walk away. But that all went to shit when I got arrested. I’m just glad that I made Zig and Flem break protocol and get the fuck out before they got busted, too. That was my fight not theirs.

I decide it’s time to hit the open road for a few hours and then make my way back to Faith and try to work it out with her. I am hoping a little distance will help us both.

It’s nearly five hours later when I pull into the compound after a long ride. It’s dark and I notice Ziggy’s bike. I know he and the guys are probably gearing up for a run in the morning. I’m not ready for that yet. I’m also not in the mood to talk to him yet. I need to figure out what to do with Flem first.

We need to call a church meeting when they get back and get this shit moving
. I plan to bring Zig in as the club VP. I want to freeze out those not on board with the new law. For now, though, I just need to go have a beer, unwind a bit, and find Faith to hold her close. I need to feel her, to hear her breathing against me.

I walk into the main room and see Flem sit
ting with Fat Boy and Tank. I walk past him, not acknowledging his presence. I look around, but I don’t see Faith or Peggy. I figure they’re both asleep by now.

I walk up to the bar and tell the chick serving tonight to grab me a beer. She pops the top and sets the bottle down in front of me. She’s eying me up and down. “So you need someone to blow off some steam with tonight?” She stands there pushing her tits out and pulls her lip out to pout. I shake my head. With power comes groupies.

“No thanks darlin. I am going to saddle up with my woman later and spend some time with her.”

She scoffs at me. “Woman? You mean that little redhead? Shit
, Ryder, she ain’t our kind. You need a real woman.” She’s eying me like a piece of meat.

“Look, bitch, I ain’t interested. I said I have a woman, and whether she’s our kind or not ain’t none of your fucking business. I better never hear anything about her out of your mouth again or you’re gonna be sorry. You feel me?”

She backs up and nods and turns to open the fridge and turn her back to me.

I grab my beer and walk away, leaving her there to pout. I walk over to Flem’s table and set my beer down. He and Tank stop talking mid-sentence. Flem looks at me.

“Y
eah, that’s right, motherfucker, you better be worried about me. I ain’t done with you, brother. I am going to let the Knights decide your fucking fate during a church meeting real soon. If they say you’re out, then you’re handing in your cut and walking away. If they say you stay, you’re gonna tow the fucking line around here. No one betrays me without contrition. You fucking get what I am saying?”

He
stands up and we are eye to eye. I knew he wouldn’t back down from me, but he’s going to learn to fucking respect my authority. He snorts and burps in my face. “Yeah, Ry, I feel ya. Whatever they decide, I will live with it.” I don’t want to fight him tonight. I am just worn out and ready to move forward. I am sick of the bullshit.

I down my beer and nod to Tank. “Safe run tomorrow. Church when you return
. Tell Zig for me.” He nods.

I walk toward my room. I need her. I turn the handle to
the door and walk in. There she is. Asleep on my bed. She’s curled up on top of the blanket, so I reach over and grab a throw off the chair and place it over her. She wiggles into the blanket and sighs.

I can tell she’s been crying. Her beautiful red hair is damp where her tears have fallen. I fucking hate this. I hate that I can’t be the sweet man she wants me to be. I have a life to live that was chosen for me. I love living the lifestyle
, but I was never sure that I wanted to stay connected to this club for the rest of my life. My pops pretty much guaranteed I would forever be tied to the Dueling Dragons. Now that Prez is gone, I have to step up and become the leader that he and Pops expected me to become. I didn’t ask for this life but it’s mine. I hope Faith can accept it and what responsibilities it would entail for her.

The bitch serving at the bar tonight was more right than I wanted to admit. Faith’s not our kind. But I don’t think I can give her up.

I undress, throw on some sweats, and climb into bed. I pull a sleeping Faith next to me and hold her tightly. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring for us, but we both need to fight to meet halfway again. We can’t give up on us. It was too good between us before all this shit went down. I am going to fight for us.

Ziggy

I have to do it. I don’t want to. I need to get some clothes out for tomorrow. I know she’s in there with Lil Man. God
, I hope she isn’t breast-feeding him right now. Well, yeah, actually I do. She’s got a beautiful set and I wouldn’t mind using my tongue on them. Okay, get that out of my head. She’s Faith’s friend and she isn’t ever going to admit she’s attracted to me. Move on, Zig. Move on.

I’ve been standing in front of my own bedroom door for the past five minutes. Why am I afraid to knock? Fuck it. I knock, not too hard and not too soft. I hear her say come in. It’s my cue to enter but my feet are not moving. What the fuck is wrong with me? She can’t have this much power over my head.

I slowly open the door and peek in. Damn! She’s got the titty out and feeding the kid. I knew it. She reaches for a blanket but drops it.

I walk in and the fucking smile won’t leave my face. No matter how hard I try to frown
, my facial muscles just tell me to go fuck myself. She glares at me.

“Sorry
, Lil Mama, I need to get some clothes out. I’m leaving on a ride early tomorrow. I don’t want to wake you and Lil Man.”

I walk over to the dropped blanket and pick it up and hand it to her. She grabs it and throws it over herself and the kid.

“Can he breathe under that?”

She looks at me as if I just spoke Chinese to her or some shit. “Of course
, he can breathe. Do you think I would smother my own child? Really?” God, there she goes again with that sassy attitude. I admire the sassiness in her, but it just makes me want to pick her up and wrap her around me and work that sass out of her.

She stands up and walks Lil Man over to his crib. She lays him down and covers him with the blanket
. I can feel the tension in the room between us. I move to the closet to grab some clothes for tomorrow’s ride. I need to get the fuck out of here before I make a mess of shit. I know she feels something for me, but she won’t admit it.

“You want me as much as I want you, Lil Mama. I can feel you when you look at me. I feel you deep in here.” As I say it
, I tap on my chest. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. She’s just standing there, staring at me. I take a step toward her, as if I am a panther stalking my prey. With each step I take forward, she counters with a step backwards. Soon enough, she’s up against the wall, trapped between her freedom and me. She raises her head and looks up at me. I tower over her.

She shows no fear
. I can only feel the need emanating off of her. I am drawn to those lips. I lean down and take what I know she wants to give me. I cup her face in my hands and draw her close, letting my lips brush against hers. I gently bite her lower lip softly, she opens her mouth and I slide my tongue into her mouth and lean in to the kiss. She seems to be enjoying it, until her hands come up and she pushes off me. Then I feel her hand make contact with the left side of my face. Fuck. Me. I want her even more now.

“What the hell are you doing, Zeke?” She acts offended but I know she wants me as much as I want her. I decide to push one more time. I step up and push her against the wall and take her mouth hard and fast. She opens immediately and throws her arms up around my neck and pulls me closer. The feel of her body next to mine is incredible. I knew she was fighting it all along. She’s felt that fire between us as much as I have.

Our mouths fight to feel one another and I begin to walk her towards the bed. I want this woman, tonight. I am tired of the games between us. I want her for my woman.

As we reach the bed, I slowly lower her to it and work my mouth down her neck and then I unbutton her top and free her from the confines of her black lace bra. I use my tongue and trace her hardened nipples with the tip of it. She shudders under me. I lightly bite at her nipples and she moans sweetly into my hair. God, the sound of her turns me inside out.

I continue my ministrations to her heavenly tits and begin to work my free hand down toward her shorts. I manage to unbutton the few buttons on them and pull them off her hips as I continue my assault with my mouth and tongue on her hard nipples. God
, she’s beautiful. I want her spread out in front of me so I can just look at her and take her all in.

She’s moaning and digging her nails into my biceps. She’s feeling it as much as I am. After I get her shorts down, I go for her lace panties. She stiffens up and pushes me away.

“No. No. Zeke, I can’t do that, not with you. I’m sorry.”

“
Look me in the eye, Peg, and tell me you don’t want this as much as me.” I can feel my anger rising and I am trying to keep it down in the pit of my stomach. She wanted me as much as I wanted her a few minutes ago. “Tell me, Peg, what do you really want? I know you feel this connection between us. I know you want me as much as I want you. Why are you pushing me away like this?”

She shakes her head no over and over. I can’t take this shit anymore. I jump up off the bed and slam my fist into the wall, to release my anger over her rejection. Just as I let out a yell of frustration, I hear Lil Man cry out. I woke him up. Shit. Shit. Shit. Peg jumps up and glares at me, and picks Tucker up to soothe him.

I just want to go to them both and put my arms around them and hold them both close. She won’t let me, so I guess there is no need for me to stay around. I think a ride in the morning is just what I need and maybe a bottle of Jack tonight and a warm body next to me.

I grab my shit and head out of the room. I have to just get the hell away from her tonight. I head into the main room to grab some Jack and see what awaits me out there. I need to burn off this edginess I have inside of me. Fuck her if she doesn’t want me. There’s plenty of pussy out there that will welcome a night with the Zig.

I spot a sweet little blonde sitting up at the bar. Score! I walk up to her and I run my hand up and down her arm. “Hey
, what’s your name, darling?” I look her up and down and, out of the corner of my eye, I see Peg standing in the doorway. So she’s come to gloat that she doesn’t fucking want me? I can show her she doesn’t mean shit to me.

“So, sugar, you up for some fun with Ziggy tonight, baby?” I pull her off her barstool and stand her up in front of me, pulling her close and running my hands up and down her sweet ass. “What did you say your name was again?”

She laughs at me and tosses her long hair over her shoulder. “I didn’t say. It’s Twyla. Twyla Gentry. I am always ready for some fun handsome.”

I grab her face and kiss her. I have my eyes on Peg. I want her to know I am enjoying what this bitch has to offer. Twyla throws her arms around my neck and then she hops up and wraps her legs around my waist. I am manhandling her ass and then I reach for the bottle of Jack on the bar and pull it up to my mouth and take a swig. Peg is just standing there, watching.

I start to trail my mouth down
Twyla’s neck, and then I reach in and unlace her shirt and pull her tits out of her skimpy pushup bra. I pull one into my mouth and lick and suck it as I watch Peg. She’s not moving. I need to her to get the fuck out of here. I don’t want to do this to her but she’s the one that put the brakes on us, not me. This is for her own good. She ain’t ready to play with the big boys, so she needs to get the fucking message. Go the fuck away.

As I continue licking this bitch
’s tits, I decide it’s time to end Peg’s voyeuristic assessment of me. I grab the bitch and the bottle of Jack and yell over to Tank, “Brother, gonna borrow your room for a little bit. Mine’s occupied.”

Tank nods and throws me the keys. He’s looking at me kind of funny but shrugs it off and goes back to his flavor of the night. I tug Twyla closer to let
her feel how hard my dick is. She lets out a squeal.

Damn, baby, you’re fucking rock hard. Is that thing registered as a lethal weapon? If not, it should be.” That just added fuel to the Peg fire. I can feel her stare all over me. I will her to just go the fuck away, but she doesn’t move from her spot in the doorway. I walk Lil Miss Sunshine and my bottle of Jack in her direction. Here goes nothing.

I shove my tongue into Twyla’s mouth to shut up her stupid giggling. I keep my eyes dead set on Peg
’s as I carry this bitch to Tank’s room. It’s then I see the tears running down her face. She never blinks or moves as I shove past her with Twyla wrapped around my body. Fuck her!