Biting back a smile, Nadi cleared her throat. “I wasn’t certain I had a home.” When her father rose, she held up her hand. “But, perhaps Jake is correct and it was a misunderstanding. Something my brother, father, and I need to talk about at length. However, that was only one of my reasons for coming here rather than returning to the Sanctuary. Ryan is my main concern right now. I need to know the rules, so I can fix this.”
The men she didn’t know glared—their anger as apparent as Drake’s and Kya’s.
“I didn’t mean to change his life…only mine.” She hid her hands behind her back, so they could not see how they intimidated her. “He scares me.”
A round of protests hit her, but she continued without listening to their defense. “I know he wouldn’t hurt me, not intentionally. Last night proved that beyond a doubt, but he’s huge and violence follows him.” When one of the men she recognized from the raid started to speak up, she cut him off. “Don’t deny it. You saw him kill a man.”
“Tell me the bastard didn’t deserve to die.”
“I can’t, but you all say how kind and gentle Ryan is. I’ve seen him use strength in anger. To kill Diablo, to destroy property, and rip into those rogues who attacked us. He could turn it on me as easily.” That was a lie, one she recognized the moment she said it. He had been more than strong as he kept promises she had no right to ask from him. Regret made her stick to her argument. “Again and again he uses his size against others.”
Mia nodded. “In defense of you or someone else.”
The men started to argue once more, but the Alpha female’s frown cut them off. With a touch to Drake’s wrist, she headed from the room, graceful and determined. “Come with me, Nadi. There are things you should know.”
Nadi followed, unsure if she had somehow offended the other woman. Once on the back porch, Mia sat on the wide swing and patted the cushion. Her beautiful manicure and pedicure begged the question of how her polish survived a shift or if the woman shifted at all. Settling onto the cozy seat, Nadi wonder how Mia would launch the conversation.
“Do you think my brother-in-law is beneath you?” Apparently the other woman had no qualms about jumping right in.
“Of course not.”
“No?” Mia sat back against the armrest and tucked her feet beneath her skirt. “What makes him worthy?”
Answers eluded her, not because she couldn’t find admirable things about Ryan, but because she had no right to want him. “I was born and raised in puppy mills. Until recently, I believed everyone in my family was dead. Suddenly I have a father, and a brother, and an entire pack of people monitoring my life.”
She looked over the backyard, her stomach in knots. “On top of everything else, I met this enormous male, one who isn’t just physically large but massive in every way. He looks out for animals, abused women, siblings—blood related or not—and random shifters who have no clue how to survive outside a three-by-four foot pen. He’s the Alpha in line behind my father, and the perfect uncle to a tiny wildcat who worships him.” She turned to face Mia. “Today I learned I’m probably carrying his child. A situation which rests entirely in my lap since I forced him to come to my bed.”
Mia shook her head and grinned. “Oh, sweetie, no wonder you’re lost. Let me tell you a few things, okay?”
She laughed self-consciously. “Do I want to know?”
“Maybe not, but you need to. Let’s begin with the idea of you forcing Ryan to sleep with you. No man’s that perfect, not even my darling brother-in-law. If he agreed to come to you, he wanted to be there. End of story.”
Is Mia right?
The way he had held her and touched her said she was. Nadi drew a shaky breath. “Okay, so any ideas how to undo what I did?”
“I’m not sure if we can. Maybe if you wanted my brother-in-law as much as he wants you.”
“How would that help?”
“Subjugation is primarily used to protect a weak animal with little place in the pack. While it removes the wolf’s personal status, it also makes him an owned object so he cannot be hurt or killed. However, as Ryan obviously does not need you to shield him, perhaps you can switch the relationship to a mutual thing. But only if you both want it. Do you desire him for more than a possession, Nadi?”
“I do…of course I do.” Ruining his life was not an option no matter her personal concerns. And the idea of never again hearing his possessive growl or feeling the delicious stroke of his strong hands made her stomach clench tighter. “He’s the perfect male. Who wouldn’t want him?”
“Me.”
The declaration startled her. “Excuse me?”
Mia shook her head. “Don’t get defensive. When he and Drake lost their parents to a hunter, everyone expected Ryan to take the Alpha’s place. Drake was older. He’d trained beside his father for years. His little brother was only sixteen, way too young for the responsibility of leading a pack, but even with the five-year age difference, he was bigger and faster. If it had come down to a fight, Drake would have lost.”
She’d already surmised Ryan would have won any fight between him and his brother. “Where did you come in?”
“At the time, I was the only female in the pack of breeding age, the only one who could have filled the role of Alpha female. The problem was I loved Drake.”
“Would you have told them the truth if things had gone differently?”
Moisture shimmered on the elegant woman’s lashes, and she shook her head. “The pack expected me to do my duty.” She blinked away unshed tears. “Even then, Ryan looked out for us. He believed his brother would be a great leader, and he somehow sensed my feelings. The day he left, he told everyone he had no desire to be Alpha, and just like that, my life became as I had always imagined it could be—no fight, no fuss.”
He had given up so much for the people he cared about. “Does he regret leaving?”
Mia shrugged. “I think he misses the pack. He stayed away for many years to protect his brother’s place. We saw him only outside the territory. He returned for the first time a few weeks ago.”
“After he found me?”
“Yes.” Rising to her feet, the Alpha held out her hand. “Now, we should return.”
Nadi stood and took the offered support. “Why tell me all this?”
“So you can get past your fear and see Ryan for the man he is. Regrets and all, he would never harm someone he cared about. Come, the men are waiting.”
She stopped, refusing to move until the other woman faced her again. “And you’re certain he cares about me?”
“While you were still ill, he came to tell Drake he’d found his life. Remember that and you shouldn’t have a problem making things right.”
Chapter Eleven
Three days later, Nadi followed Jake down the long, cool corridor at the Folcom County Courthouse. “Are you sure he’s here?”
Jake nodded. “I talked to him on the phone last night. He’s in court. You can wait for him in his office.”
“Can I watch him in action instead?”
“Maybe. Depends on if it’s a closed situation. Most of his cases are. Give me a second.”
Her brother strolled to a large round desk in the center of the impressive lobby. The marble flooring branched off from it in numerous spokes leading down hallways similar to the one they had used. The circular structure created a literal wheel of justice. Jake flirted with the middle-aged woman behind the counter, and her girlish giggle seemed misplaced but welcome in the solemn setting.
Nadi checked the wall clock, impatient to see Ryan. Maybe she should have waited at his cabin. What if he refused to talk to her? Could he do so? No one seemed to think he had an option when it came to her, that she had stolen his right to choose. But she could not imagine the perfect ebony god bowing to anyone, especially her.
“Okay, Stinky. Come on. He’s with Judge Lillian Novak.”
Her palms grew damp, and her stomach threatened to dump her breakfast. She rubbed her hands over her finely-woven linen skirt and tugged her jacket down to ensure it lay smoothly. Jake had taken her shopping, claiming a need to make up for years of missed birthdays. The closet in her bedroom now held an array of stylish outfits, but all the fancy clothing in the world could not hide the fact she’d behaved like a lowborn bitch—a female too wrapped up in herself to stop before she betrayed a good man.
Ryan’s sister, brother, and surrogate family looked at her with distain. Not that she blamed them. They respected him enough not to kill her, but Drake and a couple of others, Rip and Donny, maybe, had left no doubt if she did not find a remedy, they’d eliminate her to save their brother’s reputation.
Jake paused outside a six-panel door and pressed his ear against the polished wood. He nodded and put his finger to his lips before opening it and allowing her to slip inside. The small courtroom was nearly empty except for the main players. Ryan and a frail looking woman sat to one side, another man at a nearby table. The judge spoke softly with an officer before she looked up. “Mr. Kilmer, will your client be joining us today or not?”
“He’s on his way, Your Honor.”
“I suggest you hurry him along. I’ll give him another five minutes before I declare Mrs. Templeton’s petition uncontested.”
Ryan smiled and patted his client’s hand. Did the woman even notice how careful he was not to startle her or touch more than her fingertips? Did she understand how he bent his head toward her to appear less threatening so he wouldn’t frighten her? All things Nadi had overlooked or misread while the big man had watched over her and kept her safe.
Caught up in her thoughts, she almost missed the door opening, but the stench of evil dragged her attention to the man striding down the narrow aisle. His suit looked expensive, far more so than the discount outlet dress on the cowering woman seated at the front of the courtroom. Nadi stared in disbelief as the man casually reached beneath the back of his jacket.
Jake jumped from his chair to rush toward the danger. “Gun!”
The word bounced off the wooden walls. Ryan shoved his client beneath the table before he dove for the threat. A pistol shot cracked. The heroes bore the assailant to the ground. The officer joined them, weapon drawn, shouting commands in the midst of the craziness.
Ryan and Jake both staggered to their feet and hauled the stranger up so the authorities could cuff him and take him away. It all happened too fast to comprehend.
The judge signed off on the woman’s divorce and commended the quick reactions of all involved. The abusive ex disappeared through a door behind the bench. How the gun had slipped past security remained a question, but no one had been hurt—the bullet burrowed safely into the polished wood of the witness box.
Nadi’s pulse continued to race as she joined the small group. A quick scan confirmed the judge had been right. No blood stained the men’s crisp white shirts and although shaken, Ryan’s client seemed stronger for having survived.
The woman touched his arm in a tentative bid for attention. “Thank you, Mr. Jones. You saved my life.”
He placed his hand over her fingers and smiled his sweet but cocky, everything-is-fine smile. “You chose to leave. I just did the paperwork.”
Her shoulders straightened, and she offered him a watery grin. “Whether you want to take credit for it or not, I still appreciate it.” She rose to her tiptoes, and he bent to accept a kiss on his cheek.
Even in the role of hero, the man worked to lift others up. How could fear have blinded her to such a blatant fact? She leaned against the railing and waited for him to finish. Jake volunteered to walk the client to her car, and suddenly, Nadi was alone with her handsome male.
“Any chance you have a moment for me, Ryan?”
Ryan had known the instant Nadi entered the courthouse. Her presence tested his focus. When she and Jake had slipped into the courtroom, he’d debated begging to reschedule, but his client would have suffered for his failings. Being close to Nadi for the first time since she’d claimed him weakened him more than expected. Her new outfit suited her slender form, and his soul reacted to her nearness. He gathered his files and stuffed them in his briefcase to keep from sinking to his knees and promising all he owned to be worthy of her once more.
“Ryan?” Her voice hitched with uncertainty.
“Of course I have time for you. You own my time and attention.”
Fuck
. He sounded like a Class-A asshole.
She blinked and stepped back. “Would you rather I left?”
“No!” He cleared his throat and tried again. Shouting at her would solve nothing. He would still be worthless, and she, his everything. “I mean, it’s fine.” Careful not to brush against her, he started from the room. “Let’s talk in my office.”
She followed him like a lost pup. Although Nadi held all the power, she still feared him. He could no longer scent it, but it lingered in her every move. Anger at the unjust situation roared to life. The damned woman had done this to him, had forced him to a subservient position, yet she acted like he was to blame. Maybe he was. He knew the rules; she didn’t. It wasn’t her fault he’d allowed her to socially castrate him. Scrubbing a hand over his head, he sought some sort of answer.
None came.
He pulled his key from his pocket to open his office then hesitated. If he welcomed her inside, she’d be there forever. He’d see her at every meeting, reminding him he had no more power over his personal life than the women he defended did. Self-doubt would destroy his ability to do his job. Slowly, he turned to face her. “Could we do this somewhere else? I don’t want you in my head here.”
The confession slipped out. He hadn’t meant to share so much.
Her lovely smile wavered. “I’ll catch up to Jake and see you at the Sanctuary then.”
She left before he could stop her. Determination put a sexy sway in her stride, and his cock ached for her attention. Why had she gone instead of calling him down for his request as he’d expected. Would she shun him later for not welcoming her home like he should have? The idea of bowing to her wishes confused him. For years he’d lived apart from the pack, convincing himself he was a lobo of sorts, despite his foster family. He made his own choices to guide and protect those who depended on him. A self-made man did not follow the rules. Realizing wolf law was ingrained, whether he acknowledged it or not, put a mystifying spin on things.