Authors: Natasha Stories
It was
Wednesday before I had my answer. Mom said she’d like to see me, but there was
no extra money. If I came to her, I’d have to get a job immediately or starve.
It was more than I had come to expect, and at least it seemed she still loved
me and wanted me. I broke down in tears, wishing Russ would comfort me, but he
continued to leave me alone. Next time, I’d be careful what I wished for.
In addition to
the discouraging message from my mom, I was afraid I had even bigger problems,
and no one could help me with them. My period was now a week late, and I could
no longer chalk it up to stress. I struggled to remember every occasion when
Russ and I had made love, even back at the cabin, which was the most likely
time.
I could only
remember one time when Russ hadn’t used a condom, but that had been well after
what should have been my fertile time, only a week before I was due. Could the
stress have delayed ovulation, too? I didn’t know, and I couldn’t ask. Nor
could I ask for a pregnancy test. I was still leery of Janet’s judgment,
although she was treating me civilly. And I knew that if Russ suspected
anything, he’d never let me go. I would just have to wait until either my
missing period showed up or I left the ranch to find out for sure.
§
Meanwhile,
there were delays in getting the sheriff to act to take my father and the
others into custody. He had made inquiries in Kingman, and at first the DA’s
office couldn’t find the case, since we hadn’t thought to get a case number.
Russ called then, and got the case number, but found out that the warrants
still hadn’t been issued, as the case was being reviewed to see if my
deposition constituted probable cause. There were some dissenters in the office
who thought the fact that I was a fugitive from the community tainted my
testimony.
That made Russ
so angry that he hired a lawyer in Arizona to look into filing a civil suit
against both the RALDS community and the DA in my behalf. An idea about what I
could do about the younger women and their children began to form in my mind.
When the
arrest warrants were finally issued, a question arose about whether Wyoming and
Arizona had reciprocity for the type of charges that were filed. The legal
wrangling went on for days, and meanwhile Russ’s hands were tied up patrolling
the ranch perimeter and chasing off any trespassers.
I was
mortified that all this was costing Russ valuable time, not to mention money,
but he still would not hear of me leaving before the men were in custody.
Because it was not for me, I managed to call Russ’s attorney and outline my
idea for the women, which I’d need to have settled before the arrests were
made. He told me he’d get in touch with the Mohave County DA and make some
inquiries, after which he would come out and help me talk to Russ about it.
My resolve
broke down one night when I was feeling especially lonely. It had been days
since Russ and I had talked as friends, and I knew it was my fault. Considering
everything he was doing for me anyway, it occurred to me that I should at least
be civil. I should have known that ‘civility’ is not a possible state of
affairs for people who shared the stormy passion that Russ and I shared.
It started
just before I was ready for bed, when Russ came into the library and gazed at
me, a habit he had developed over the past couple of weeks. Instead of ignoring
him as I had been doing, I looked up to meet his eyes, with what I hoped was an
apology in mine.
“Russ, I’ve
treated you badly over the past three weeks, and I’m sorry. None of this was your
doing. You’ve been nothing but kind, and I want you to know I appreciate it,
even when I’m being a bitch. I just hate being a burden on you like this.”
Instantly, he
was at my side, extending an arm around my shoulders and tilting my chin upward
with the other hand. “Kitten, I’ve missed you. Am I forgiven for whatever I did
to piss you off?”
“Whatever
you
did? Russ, you didn’t do anything. It’s the situation I’m pissed off about. I’m
not mad at you.” Well, I was, but not for a reason I could tell him. That I
would keep to myself, no matter what.
I just
couldn’t let him know I was carrying his child. For that matter, I wasn’t
really angry about being pregnant, only the awkward position it put me in. I
loved this baby already, even though it could only be a collection of
disorganized cells at the moment. It was part of Russ, and despite all we had
gone through and all my protestations, I couldn’t escape the fact that I loved
him. I was beginning to understand that, even though I was still determined to
leave, I would be back, preferably sooner rather than later.
Russ pulled me
closer, gazing into my eyes until he dropped his to my lips. The familiar
fullness in all my parts rose up as he kissed me, at first tenderly and then
with possessive passion. All but swooning, I melted into the kiss and returned
it. Well, I had meant to be civil, but this was delicious. Maybe I could have
one more taste of it before I went away. When he whispered to me, “Bedroom. Now,”
my response was, “Yes. Please, yes.”
Russ jumped to
his feet, pulling me with him and down the hall, clutching my hand as if I
might escape had he let go. He strode into my room with me in tow and slammed
the door, then turned and pulled me into him again for more kisses, accompanied
by frantic pulling at my clothes. We separated only long enough for him to
undress me completely and then pick me up and place me in the center of the
bed, before he tore off his own clothes, staring at me all the while, and
pounced on me. I could only watch, bemused, as his erection, freed from his
clothing, sprang out proudly. My hands rose to reach for it, like a child
begging for a toy.
“Kitten, my
god, I’ve missed this,” he murmured, dipping his head to tease at my nipple
with his lips and tongue. I was beyond speech. How did he do it? How did he
take me from a neutral mood to blazing passion in one kiss? I relished the feel
of his heavy body pinning mine to the bed, wanting nothing more than to become
fused to him, our skin welded together, his lips on mine. Now his hands were
roaming my body, re-learning my curves, caressing my breasts, and then
suddenly, he drew back a little and looked at me in puzzlement. “Have you
gained some weight?” he asked.
Disoriented by
the change, I just stared at him. When the question sunk in, I said, “I
wouldn’t be surprised, the way Janet feeds us and I lie around reading all the
time. Why?”
Hefting one
breast, he said, “These seem bigger.”
Oh, no. He’d
be onto my secret if I didn’t distract him. “Are you complaining?”
“Not at all,”
he grinned, and proceeded to show, rather than tell me, just how much he
appreciated the change. By the time he finished ravishing my breasts with
hands, lips, tongue and teeth, I was writhing under him, begging for respite
there and touches where I was turning to molten lava, at my core.
Russ bruised
my lips with hard kisses, forcing them open to plunder my mouth with his
tongue, sweet with cloves and a slight tang of whiskey. His hand finally
reached to give me the touch I craved, dipping into my center for the moisture
there and using it to tease my clit with feather-light circles. As much as I
wanted his lips back on my nipples, or his shaft buried deeply within me, my
driving need was to feel what he was doing to that hard bud until I could no longer
resist the building orgasm. I clutched his shoulders, desperate for the
release, and cried for more.
Without
missing a stroke with his finger, Russ shifted on the bed until he could spread
my legs and use his tongue where his finger had been only a moment before, the
first touch sending me crashing into the orgasm. Powerful spasms shook me, and
tears burst from my eyes as I wailed my pleasure.
When I had
settled a little, Russ joked, “Miss me much?” I couldn’t laugh, there was not
enough breath left in my body. But, I could seize him where it counted and kiss
him deeply. I could do to him what he had just done to me, and I had every
intention of making it last as long as I could. With effort, I rolled us over
so that I was on top.
“You’re in for
it now, mister,” I warned him.
“I’m scared,”
he grinned. I swung one leg across him and came up to a sitting position,
pinning him with me astraddle his carved abdomen. “You should be.” Leaning
forward, I kissed him lightly and pulled away when he went for a deeper kiss,
then spread my chest and tummy as tightly as I could over his chest, rotating
my hips to bring my moist core just to touch the tip of his erection. He
moaned.
Scooting
downward, still pressed into him, I settled his shaft into the hollow between
my breasts and kissed his chest, nipping here and there, licking his flat
nipples for the pleasure of seeing them draw up into little hard seeds. Russ
was pumping into my chest, his eyes fixed on mine as he looked down at me, and
his breath coming in ragged gasps. I put my hands on the sides of my breasts to
squeeze him between them more tightly.
Sometime it may be fun to see if I
could get him off that way
, I thought; but for now I had other plans.
Scooting down
even further, I wriggled between his legs and spread them wide, giving me
access to all the places I intended to lick, suck and stroke until he begged
for mercy. I drew myself up to my knees, and bent to start my torture at the
bend of his knees, reaching under with my tongue to tickle him there. Then I
reached up to take him lightly with one hand, the better to judge how my
actions were affecting him. When I licked the back of his other knee, I was
gratified to feel the leap of his shaft in my hand.
Nibbling and
licking, I worked my way up to his groin, where I pressed my tongue to the
crease between his leg and his sac. More leaps of his cock, accompanied now by
moans of pleasure, rewarded my efforts. I was careful not to squeeze him,
because all I wanted to do was feel his response as I blissfully licked every
inch of his scrotum and buried my tongue into the crease on the other side.
Russ was clutching the sheets, so I rose to my knees and guided his hands to
the sides of my head.
Then, as
slowly as I could, I leaned forward, resting my hands on either side of his
hips, and took him into my lips. Instantly, his hands tightened on my hair. As
I slid down his straining cock with my lips and tongue, slowly, slowly, to
savor the sensations and the familiar tangy, salty taste, he bucked to greet me
midway. At last, he clutched my head more firmly and pushed me all the way down
until he was buried to the root in my mouth.
I was near
delirious, not only from the exquisite sensations but because of the heady mix
of emotions that went through me at that moment. Lust, yes, but also a
deeply-held desire to cherish him and offer myself to him in any way he wanted
me. It felt like worship. When I shifted my weight to one side to free my hand
to tickle and scratch lightly at his balls, he began a rhythmic thrusting that
I couldn’t control. So I opened my throat as widely as I could while keeping a
firm grip on him with my lips and tongue and let him fuck my mouth, until he
abruptly stopped and pulled away with a gasp.
“No, Russ,
finish,” I said, eager to give him that, the only gift that was uniquely mine
to give.
“I don’t want
to come in your mouth,” he said, “not this time. Turn around.”
He guided me
with his hands as I rotated to a kneeling position between his legs, my back to
him, and then guided his erection to my center. Then he held my hips and pulled
me onto him, burying that shaft of steel into me more deeply than ever. I cried
out, causing him to pull back a little. “Did I hurt you?”
“No! God, that’s
good. More!”
He thrust into
me again and again, sending waves of delightful sensation out in circles, like
a stone dropped into water. Another orgasm built and shook me, causing him to
thrust even faster. My cries were continuous now, and I made no effort to
muffle them. If Janet could hear us, so be it. At last, with a shout of his own
followed by a long groan, Russ came, triggering another climax for me.
When it was
over, I collapsed forward, pulling him out too abruptly and making him swear.
When I could move, I crawled around and nestled into his arms, no longer
concerned about anything except how good he made me feel, and how safe in his
arms. Then we slept, not knowing that everything was to change in the morning.
Someone was
knocking on the door, but I couldn
’t fully wake up to
answer it. Russ stirred beside me, pulled his arm out from under my head, and
got up. He walked over to the door and said, “What is it?”
Janet’s voice
answered. “Boss, the sheriff is here, wants to talk to you. Are you ever going
to get up?”
I opened one
eye and examined the clock on the bedside table. “Good lord, Russ, it’s 9:30.”
He glanced
back at me apologetically, and said through the door, “I’ll be right out.
Thanks, Janet.”
“No problem,
boss. Are you and Charity going to want breakfast?”
I most
certainly wanted breakfast, I was ravenous. I nodded my head vigorously, and
Russ answered, “You bet. In about half an hour.”
He threw on
the clothes that he had discarded last night, and left me to get up more leisurely.
I decided on a quick shower, and went in search of him about twenty minutes
later, my long wet hair wrapped in a towel twisted turban-style. I found Russ
in the office with the sheriff, who regarded me with amusement.
“So this is
the little girl who’s causing all the fuss. You really put one over on me, Russ
White. You had her all along, didn’t you?”
I went on the
defensive immediately, being anything but a ‘little girl’, but Russ beat me to
it. “Oh, don’t you mistake it, Sheriff, she’s all woman.” Now my most dreaded
thing happened, I blushed. A redhead’s blush is not a pretty pinking of the
skin. No, it’s a full-on, blotchy, red color that clashes with our hair and is
impossible to miss. Naturally, it made the Sheriff roar with laughter.
Just as I was
about to leave in irritation, Russ’s hand snaked out and caught me. “Kitten,
the sheriff says he’s taken all the RALDS men into custody, but they won’t
identify themselves. He wants you to come to the station and tell him who’s
who.”
“What if some
of them don’t have arrest warrants? Won’t I be in danger?”
The sheriff
spoke up. “We’ll give you a police escort back here. Russ can handle one or two
rowdy stragglers, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“All right. Do
we have time for breakfast? I’m starving.” Receiving the sheriff’s nod, I went
through to the kitchen and sat down to the plate of bacon, eggs and toast that
Janet had rustled up for us. Russ joined me in a moment and told me he’d take
me to town, that the sheriff hadn’t wanted to wait. He, too, ate with gusto,
and went to take his shower while I enjoyed a cup of tea with Janet.
There was no
pretending that Russ and I weren’t still sleeping together now. She had found
his bed empty, and she knew where I slept, even if I hadn’t said a word when
she came to the door. Apparently, she didn’t feel it was her place to comment now,
though, so nothing was said.
§
When we got to
the sheriff’s office, he showed us the warrants he had obtained from Arizona,
then led me to a viewing room where the men were lined up. Instead of picking
one out of several, like a normal line-up, I was supposed to identify each of
them. I recognized my dad, of course, but no warrant had been issued for him.
When I asked why, the sheriff said it was his understanding that there was no
evidence he had married or coerced an under-aged girl. I guessed my flight had
put an end to his hopes for the fifteen year-old, and wondered how she felt
about it.
There were
five others, with warrants for five, but one didn’t match up. There was a
warrant for the Prophet, but he wasn’t among the five men standing with my
father. I didn’t recognize the other man who didn’t have a warrant.
When it was
done, I was shaking with stress and fear, and the sheriff kindly offered a cup
of coffee. Russ said it was the worst coffee he’d ever tasted, so maybe that
was the reason I almost couldn’t keep it down. The sheriff told Russ he’d give
us a half-hour head start and send a deputy to follow us home before releasing
my father and the stranger. That would give us time to prepare for whatever
retaliation they may have in mind.
As it turned
out, the deputy assigned to keep an eye on them followed them out of Rawlins
and halfway back to the Utah border before concluding they were going home
instead of sticking around to harass us anymore. I breathed a sigh of relief
when Russ reported that call to me.
There would
come a time when I’d see my father again, either to confront him with his bad
deeds or to forgive him, I wasn’t sure which. But it would be a while before I
was ready for that. For now, I had to find again the resolve to make Russ let
me leave and go to my mother.
I felt
literally torn in two. My head told me that I had to straighten my life out
before I could be prepared to be with Russ, if I ever could be. I needed
closure with my mom, a GED if not a college degree to be a match for a man with
a Harvard education.
Not only that,
but more immediately, I needed to figure out what I was going to do about the
baby. This is what I told myself, and the first couple of points were valid.
But there was never any question about the baby, not really. I loved her. I
knew she was a girl, and she was Russ’s daughter. I could no more give her up
than voluntarily cut off a leg or an arm. All I could hope for was that someday
Russ would forgive me for not telling him before I left. I simply couldn’t face
the fight he would put up to keep me there.
It was time to
talk to Russ about my plan, now that the RALDS men, a significant number of the
leadership, each responsible for at least three wives and more than a dozen
children, had been picked up.
“Russ, I have
a confession to make,” I started. He looked up at me from his cup of coffee, an
interested expression in his eyes. “I’ve been thinking about the women, and I
made a call to your lawyer.”
Now his
eyebrows rose, but I was relieved to see no irritation in his expression.
“And?” he prompted.
“You know some
of those wives are still underage, and they have no idea how to support
themselves, right? And some may have small children.”
“I know. What
are you thinking?” I had stalled long enough, so I pushed through my nerves and
told him.
“Could you
bring them here? I mean, you have all these spare rooms, and it would just be
long enough to help them out, get them divorces or emancipated, or whatever
they needed. You said you’d help me get an education, could you see your way
clear to help them, too? When I get a job, I’ll send you whatever money I can,
to help.” My words came out in a rush, not organized like I had intended, but
going straight from the request to the justification.
I had made a
mess of it, should have waited for the lawyer to help me. Now I waited,
disappointed in myself, for his refusal. To my astonishment, it didn’t come. I
risked a peek at his face. Conflicting emotion flicked across it, and I
couldn’t read his mood. I held my breath.
“You know,
Kitten, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. But, I’d want you to stay here and settle
them in.” A sly expression came into his eyes. Oh, was he going to make that a
condition? I didn’t know what I would say to that, but I did know I was annoyed
that he had used it against me. “What did Bill say about it?”
“He said he’d
talk to the DA at Mohave. But, I’ve been thinking about it. The ones who have
children won’t fit into the foster system, Russ, you know they won’t. And
they’re too young to be on their own.”
“How many are
we talking about?” he asked, apparently beginning to warm to the idea now that
he thought it would keep me with him.
“As near as I
can remember, four or five. Annalee might be eighteen now, and I think she has
two kids. The other four are either still pregnant with their first or only
have one each. All the rest are at least nineteen or older now, and I think
they can get state assistance.”
I pictured
them all in my mind, pretty, slender, blonde and blue-eyed thanks to the strong
Scandinavian genes that dominated much of the Mormon community in Utah and
surrounding areas. So much alike they could be real sisters, and probably
inbred to some extent as well, in such an isolated community. Maybe they would
want to find husbands, settle down and have more children. But they should have
the opportunity to choose something else if they wanted, innocent victims all.
“Let me think
about it, and talk to Bill myself,” Russ said, giving me hope that my actions
wouldn’t put the youngest of them into an indifferent system, their children
taken from them and their fate dependent on the whims of others. It was enough
for now.
“Russ, please
understand that I need to leave for a while. I promise I won’t be gone forever.
I need to sort some things out, can you understand? Whatever I decide, I’ll
come back and tell you in person.”
For an
instant, the storm clouds turned his eyes darker again, and then resignation
flooded his face. “I understand. But I’m holding you to that promise.”
Another winter
storm delayed my leaving for a week, and in that time Russ and I made love
every chance we got, knowing that we would soon be parted. Insatiable, I
wondered whether my pregnancy was the source of my raging horniness. Being
raised in the company of women who were constantly pregnant gave me a greater
understanding than most unmarried women my age would have had about my
condition.
While it made
it harder for both of us, we couldn’t bear not to be in each other’s arms as
much as possible. I believe we christened every bedroom in the house, including
his with its single bed, and leaving quite a mess for the girls who kept his
house to find when the storm broke. We never bothered to make the beds up
again, just left the sheets and blankets thrown into the floor and whatever
disarray our escapades caused for them to straighten up.
We made love
in the beds, in easy chairs, with me leaning over tables and the sides of the
bathtubs, in every shower and one night on the big leather sofa in the library,
risking Janet’s embarrassment if she had caught us. The only time I objected
was when Russ suggested the kitchen table. I thought that was just too much to
ask Janet to ignore.
Surprisingly,
Russ had dropped his objections to my leaving. At least, he told me he would go
along with it if I would promise to return. I told him I couldn’t promise I’d
be back for good, but I’d consider it. Evidently he decided that my desire for
him would win out, because he declared that good enough. I didn’t dare tell him
I thought he was right, and that I’d run back to him at the slightest hint of
trouble.
Russ wouldn’t
hear of my getting on a bus, though. Instead, when the storm broke, he drove me
to Cheyenne and put me on a plane to St. Louis, handing me enough cash to live
on for at least a month when I got there. I promised to pay him back, but he
just waved the promise away. “There won’t be any need when you come back to me,
Kitten.”
§
I arrived in
St. Louis with no one to meet me at the airport, of course. Mom didn’t even
know when I was coming. I found a taxi driver who knew the address and asked
him to take me there. He looked at me dubiously and said, “Miss, are you sure?
That ain’t a nice neighborhood.”
“Yes, I’m sure.
But thank you for your concern.” His continuing frown told me that I should
prepare myself for the worst, but nothing could have prepared me for the dump
he delivered me to.
Not a blade of
grass, nor landscaping of any kind was visible among the rusty heaps of metal
that people called home in this trailer park. Broken-down cars lined the lanes,
kids’ toys littered the yards, and every window that was visible was either
covered by what looked like blankets, towels or sheets, or had broken, gapped
slats shut to the outside world. If whatever they were concealing was worse
than the outside, I couldn’t imagine how they lived in it. This made the worst
parts of Bethel City look like paradise.
When he came
to the lot where my mother’s trailer was parked, my driver offered to wait, and
I was very tempted to have him do so. But, I needed to conserve Russ’s money
until I could get a job, so there was really no choice but to stay with Mom. I
squared my shoulders and told him no, I’d be all right. He took my luggage to
the broken steps for me, and refused a tip.
“I don’t know
why you’re here, Miss, but if it’s because you don’t have much money, then you
need it worse than I do. You take care.” Impulsively, I gave him a hug and
sent him back to his car with a smile on his face. Only then did I knock on the
door. From within came a voice I hadn’t heard for months, somehow muffled.
“It’s open.”
My mom.
I opened the
door slowly, trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever I’d find inside. A
wave of stale cigarette smoke choked me before I had a chance to see anything,
and I turned back toward the steps, coughing.
“Close the
door, you’re letting the cold in,” demanded my mother. I still couldn’t see her,
but I hastened to step inside, holding my breath for as long as I could, and
closed the door behind me, letting my eyes adjust to the gloom inside.
“Charity?”
Mother’s voice held wonder, and then she was there, hugging me as best she
could. I returned her hug and kissed her cheek, then held her back to look at
her. What I saw broke my heart.