He lifts me out of the truck, throws me over his shoulder and starts trudging through the small house to our bedroom. I watch the carpet and wood wall paneling fly by me as we walk down the hallway. I can only see out of my right eye; my left is swollen shut already. I watch the tan carpet and all I can think of is how Jeremy’s going to kill me this time.
We enter our room and he tosses me on the bed. Jeremy heads to the dresser, grabbing the rope out of the top drawer. The scratchy, blue rope is left over from when he forcibly ties me up. Sometimes he wants complete control when he fucks me and the ropes stop me from fighting him.
I have the scars on my arms and legs to prove to myself that I’m a fighter. With his menacing expression, I know that this one is really going to hurt. I can’t go through this again.
Jeremy starts walking toward me and I shake my head, starting to blubber false promises. I have tears streaming down my face; I know I’m snotty and have blood all over me. I think he cut my forehead when he punched me the second time.
I swallow, clearing my throat, attempting to plead with him, “No, no, no, please, Jeremy, I’ll be good, I promise.” I swallow down my next sob, “I promise to be good, please don’t tie me up, please,” I beg.
Jeremy glares down at me like he’s disgusted with me, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to touch your ugly ass right away, but I’m fucking tying you up, since you seem to think you’re free to roam wherever you want to. I bet that kid wasn’t even mine!” He shakes the rope in front of my face angrily, “You fucking whore, you were out roaming, weren’t you?”
I shake my head rapidly and can feel my lips start to tremble with my anxiety. I choke out, “Never.” I know he will really hurt me if he starts thinking this way.
Luckily he only ties one of my hands to the bedpost and leaves the other one free. Jeremy turns around and slams the bedroom door shut as he walks out. Thank God he’s cocky and makes this mistake.
Since the last time he put me in the hospital, I have learned to hide phones. I have two cheap prepaid phones hidden, both set on silent. I have one under the bed, tucked into the bedframe and the other phone is taped under the kitchen sink. I figured it would be smart to put one on each side of the house in case of an emergency.
I wiggle my way to reach over the side of the bed. I feel around for a few rushed seconds until I’m able to fight with the tape enough to get the phone out. I power the cell up, breathing deeply to keep myself from expelling my stomach contents everywhere.
I ring London before I even untie my hand, just in case he comes back. I want him to believe everything is the way he left it, if that happens. Thank God London knows this is an emergency number and answers after the first ring.
I whisper the best I can, “London, park where your car’s hidden and walk to my bedroom window. He can’t see you; I think he’s going to kill me.”
“I’m almost there, already. Your granddaddy said you never showed up when I stopped by a few minutes ago.” That’s all she says and she hangs up. When London gets freaked out she doesn’t talk very much.
I start working on my bound wrist. The rope cuts into my wrist because Jeremy wrapped it so tightly. I have tears running uncontrollably down my face but I make myself stay quiet. I’m thanking my lucky stars right now he wasn’t a boy scout and I’m able to get the rope untied.
As soon as I’m free, I tuck the cell into my back pocket. I shuffle to the window and open it as quietly as possible. I can hear the sound of Jeremy’s beloved TV in the living room so it gives me some cover noise. I also have to listen extra carefully because I can’t hear him if he walks down the hall.
As soon as the window is open I stick my feet through first to crawl out. The house is an older ranch style with two bedrooms, and one bathroom. The outside has the tan paint peeling off of it everywhere. Our yard has large dirt patches all over because Jeremy refuses to spend the money to water it.
The window to our room is in the back of the house and there’s no fence on this side, so I just have to make it to the road. The distance isn’t much, but being beaten and hurting, makes it seems like three times farther than it normally is.
Hobbling forward, I start to run on shaky legs, toward the road. I see London ahead in the distance, she’s half way between me and her car. I start to run the fastest I’ve ever run in my life.
It’s hard and I feel so dizzy and nauseous from the hits to my face. I can’t hear anything. It feels like a bunch of white noise in my head. I can feel the dirt and tiny rocks under my sneakers as my feet pound the ground as I run. London starts waving her hands like hurry up.
Doesn’t she know I’m running as fast as I can? I see London has the driver’s side and passenger side doors already open, waiting for us to jump in. I pump my arms at my sides, attempt-ing to gain more speed. My life is in jeopardy and it’s time for me to fight back again, even if that means escaping.
All of a sudden the noise hits me like a blast of hot air and it’s nothing but screaming. I hear Jeremy behind me.
OH MY GOD, RUN!
I can hear him running so I know he must be close. I focus all of my energy to run as fast as possible.
London’s screaming for me to hurry. I make it to her and she grabs my arm and helps pull me to the car. Maybe I was running slower than I thought?
We pull harshly, slamming the doors and London locks them. Jeremy reaches her car right after we get the doors shut. He tries to pull on my door handle but London takes off just in time.
London presses completely down on the gas and peels the tires out in our rush. He slams both hands on the rear of the car and screams. I don’t know what he screams and I don’t ever want to find out. I’ve never seen him look so irate before.
I face London, and brokenly mutter, “Take me to Granddaddy’s, please.”
“Fuck that! Granddaddy’s meeting us at the police station. I already called him when I hung up on you. That sick bastard back there is going to jail this time.”
“I couldn’t agree more with you.”
Now…
I blink, shuddering and it’s like coming out of a dream. I hate to go there. I hate to relive those memories. Those were some of the worst days of my life.
I will never forget my little M. My one piece of happiness out of it all and he didn’t even make it. I can’t imagine going through everything while being pregnant. I have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason, even if it hurts and I don’t understand that reason.
I gaze over at Avery and London; they are both weeping quietly and look heartbroken. I wipe my face, attempting to pull myself together and to leave those horrid thoughts in the past, where they belong.
Avery comes to me and hugs me tight, “I’m s-so sor-sorry about little M. My God, you poor woman, I had no idea you had been through so much hurt. I always figured you had a story, but I never imagined it would be like that.” She looks at me with sadness and compassion. It makes me feel a little better to have opened up to her, keeping secrets is so draining.
London walks over to us, staring at Avery, “It was horrible, Avery. It was completely awful seeing your best friend like that and not being able to make her leave. I love her so much, I always have, and I just want her to be safe and ha-happy.”
I hug London as she says this and kiss her cheek. I’m so fortunate to have her. I probably wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for London.
“So what happened after; where has he been?” Avery wipes her face with her hands.
Sighing, I rub my temples, remembering more of it. “The police took pictures and documented my side of everything. I pressed charges against Jeremy and I gave the hospital consent to release my information. The hospital sent over all of my information from when he put me in there and what the doctor had believed happened in his notes. I guess when we left the house and went to the station, Jeremy went to London’s house to try to find me.” London huffs irritably, shaking her head in exasperation. “Jeremy got into it really bad with London’s older brother, Elliot. They got into a big fist fight and then Elliot pressed charges against Jeremy. It still wasn’t going to be enough in court, so London called a few nights later and made a false report. She told the cops Jeremy had broken into her parents’ house and threatened to kill her, Elliot and me.”
I shrug, winding my fingers together, nervously. “I wasn’t even there, but Elliot and I lied and told them the same story London had.”
“That’s really smart, you guys.” Avery inserts and we both nod at her.
“When we went to court, the judge ended up being a lady my grandmamma had babysat. Once she realized who I was, she pulled me into her chambers. The judge asked me to tell her everything, so I did. She said that if my grandmamma was alive she would’ve protected me. I guess my grandmamma had protected the judge from something really bad happening to her. She wouldn’t say what it was, but that she owed it to my grandmamma to make sure she returned the favor and protected me.” A warm tear trickles down my cheek as I think of how different things could have been if my family were alive at that time.
Sniffling, I continue, “A few days later, the judge ruled. She said Jeremy showed signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder with signs of detachment, he has stalker like tendencies, anger problems, shows obsessive qualities and may be a danger to himself. He was denied bail. While he was in jail he got into a few fights. He ended up having to do some more jail time. I was expecting two years but it looks like he has gotten out early.”
“Holy shit, all that and only two years!” Avery looks amazed and like it’s unbelievable.
“Yes, he had never been in trouble with the law before and in order for the cops to really do anything there has to be several ‘documented’ occurrences where I pressed charges against him. I was the dumb one and only pressed charges against him once. It was really all the fights after, which got him the actual jail time. Welcome to the justice system.”
“Geez, that’s crazy. So you came to Tennessee to start over? Weren’t you scared he would know?”
“Well, London and I had always talked about this being one of the colleges we wanted to go to together. I never could come to school here because Jeremy controlled every part of my life.” I gesture to London, “and London couldn’t afford it either. My granddaddy passed right around the same time all this stuff happened. I got left with our house, his pickups, and some insurance money. He had also saved all the insurance money from my momma’s death, so I got everything. When Jeremy went to jail, London’s mom rented me this apartment under her name. London and I applied for a million scholarships and with the insurance money I was able to move here. London’s brother, Elliot, lives and takes care of my granddad’s old house and land for me. London’s actually been living with her parents, taking online classes for engineering and saving any money she makes. She’s supposed to move here next semester to finish her degree.”
London sends me a small, sad smile and I return it. “I knew he would eventually find me, I just wasn’t expecting it to be this fast.”
“Look, Emily, you seriously need to tell Tate about this.” I shake my head at Avery.
Not happening.
I’ve completely stopped crying now and I’m able to start to think clearer. I have to make up a plan before he comes back again. He could be in the building for all I know. I should have listened to my gut on the bad feelings I was periodically getting.
“No, Avery. This is my problem to deal with. I didn’t want to tell you in the first place.”
“He can help.”
“How? By getting hurt? You don’t get it. The
monster
is crazy; he will
kill
me. You have no idea how psycho he is. I only gave you little bits and pieces of my story. This is the main reason why I’ve tried to keep to myself here; I can’t handle it if he was to come after any of you.”
I shake my head, crestfallen, “I’m just glad I haven’t gotten any closer to Tate or it would really break my heart, having to give him up. I refuse to get you involved and possibly get you guys injured. No way. I just need to clean up this mess and file a report. I have to get every little thing documented this time.”
I refuse to let him hurt me like that again. I will kill him before he gets that chance. The harassment has to all be plain as day, documented for the cops, although jail time may be worth it in the end if I’m free.
Avery grumbles, arguing stubbornly, “Girl, you are crazy if you think I’m letting you go through this alone. I’ll stick to you like glue. I don’t want you to be alone with him, and if he appears or tries anything you will at least have a witness to coincide with your story.”
Avery’s forehead is crinkled like she’s thinking too hard, her eyes burning full of fury. Her anger isn’t directed toward me, but him. She’s definitely hatching a plan.
London nods her head at Avery, agreeing with the purposed strategy, “Exactly. Good idea, Avery. We need to make sure at least one of us, if not both, is with Emily at all times. I’m talking like basically being her shadow.” She turns to me, “But, Emily, I think Avery is also right about telling Tate about this. He seems to know some big guys he could call if we ever desired them. I know Tate would drop everything and come running if you needed him, he’s shown everyone just how much he cares for you.”
These women are so infuriating. I know they want to help, but they could end up getting seriously hurt. I wouldn’t put it past Jeremy if he were to even end up killing them if it came down to it. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something were to happen to any of them.
I know Tate cares for me a lot, he’s told me just this past week that he likes me more than he should at this point. I don’t want to take advantage of him and use him, just because it will help keep me safe. If anything it will make the monster even angrier to see me with another man.
I remember when I was a senior in high school and Jeremy saw me talking to one of the baseball players. The guy and I had known each other our whole lives. In fact, we used to even play together as little kids.