Hope
Ava was grateful to be working an earlier shift that day; it meant the rehab center would be mostly empty when she clocked in. She really wasn’t in the mood to exchange idle gossip and pleasantries with her co-workers. Ava normally did enjoy the talks she had with her patients however; and she found that their conversations were much more in depth and interesting than most. She had far too much on her mind today, all that she wanted was just to be left alone and get through her shift without incident.
Despite her foul mood, Ava couldn’t help but smile when she walked through the center’s double doors and saw that Lucas was already there waiting for her. He was always early for his sessions and his cheery disposition seemed to improve the mood of the whole space. Even despite his recent misfortunes, the man always wore a broad smile on his face. Despite the friendly vibes he gave off, Lucas was far less chatty than Ava’s other patients, but today that was just what she desired. He was always a pleasure to work with and one of her easiest cases. Instead of complaining and getting grouchy when a session got tough like most people did, Lucas would crack jokes to lighten up the mood and then try even harder to succeed. Ava had to give Lucas credit; he was as tough as nails. While his injury had temporarily taken away his mobility, it certainly did nothing to damage his sense of humor or pride.
Ava started to help Lucas stretch and warm up. She couldn’t help but linger on his ripped and toned muscles a few moments longer than she should have. Ava had helped him do the same exercises hundreds of times before, but she hadn’t really noticed just how large his muscles really were. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts, feeling guilty for letting her mind stray to another man other than Ethan. Ava wondered if she really had a reason to feel guilty, she was unsure if she and Ethan even had a future together anymore. She had left home nearly two hours ago and surely Ethan was awake and had started his day by now. He hadn’t bothered to call or text her to apologize, or at least ask why she had snuck out of the house that morning. It had been the first and only time in their relationship that she had left home without giving him a goodbye kiss and it was if he hadn’t even noticed the difference. Surely he knew how upset she was, Ava had cried herself to sleep the night before, and all the while Ethan lay with his back facing her. She didn’t understand what had come over Ethan; none of this behavior was typical for him. There were no signs or clues that Ava could say she had seen this change coming. It was as if a switch suddenly flipped in his mind and he went from being a doting and loving boyfriend, to a cold and controlling monster all in one day.
Ava tried to pull her mind back to her work, she would be assisting Lucas on the treadmill today and the task required her full undivided attention. In the short months that Lucas had been attending physical therapy sessions he had made amazing progress. He was now able to walk and stand for long periods of time, although he usually still needed the assistance of a cane. Lucas was currently striving to be able to walk completely with out one. Ava got the sense that the prideful man was ashamed of having to use a cane at all, even if his injury had come about because of an act of bravery and valiance. As his nurse, Ava witnessed firsthand how much Lucas despised his cane and how desperately he was attempting to be rid of the thing for good, although she personally thought it gave him character. She knew he was strong and determined and that Lucas would be walking on his own in no time, but she wished he wouldn’t rush his progress. She could tell that he was in more pain then he let on, but would put on a brave face for her and his doctors.
Ava felt bad to admit it even to herself, but Lucas’ health wasn’t the only reason she hoped that he would extend his physical therapy for longer. Some of the other nurses didn’t always show such tact over the matter however, and would mill about the office whispering amongst each other. They made no secret of their attraction for Lucas and weren’t afraid to throw lewd and suggestive comments around. Ava kept catching her own mind wandering today while she glanced over Lucas’ body and watched his muscles ripple and flex with his every movement. She felt naughty and wrong for having these thoughts, but for the first time she honestly did not care. There was no harm in imagining what it would be like, and seeing how she would most likely wind up single soon enough, Ava would have only her imagination to rely on from then on out.
Lucas finished his therapy session with ease and Ava handed him a towel, licking her lips as she watched him wipe the sweat from his head with it. His body was practically glistening and it was the hottest thing she had ever seen. She could feel her own body responding unwillingly to the scenery. Ethan would never have been caught dead breaking a sweat; his wore his wealth on his sleeve and always had to be perfectly prim and proper. Ava had grown up in the country and with the concept that real men get their hands dirty; she wasn’t sure exactly why she had settled for a man like Ethan. Lucas cleared his throat, bringing Ava back to the present. She blushed brightly when she realized that she had been caught ogling her patient, even brighter when her gaze was returned with Lucas’ perfect smile. “How was the session today? Are you feeling okay?” Ava practically stuttered, feeling embarrassed and vulnerable. “Great!” Lucas answered enthusiastically. “Are you feeling okay?” The question took Ava by surprise; she wasn’t used to her patients reversing the roles on her. As if sensing her confusion, Lucas went on to explain himself. “You seem distracted today and quieter than usual. Every session you try your hardest to coax a conversation out of me and normally I’m the stubborn one, but today you didn’t even say a peep.” Ava found his concern to be both shocking and touching. She felt completely broken from her fight with Ethan and over his lack of compassion; she couldn’t help but feel comforted by the attention of a man, even if it wasn’t her own. “Yes, sorry for seeming distracted. I assure you that you had my undivided attention, I’m just feeling a little under the weather” Ava lied. She breathed a sigh of relief when Lucas seemed to believe her little fib. Ava quickly excused herself, Lucas had been her only appointment for the day and she couldn’t wait to go home just so she could hide away from the world and most importantly her problems.
Ava gathered her belongings and clocked out, scolding herself for her unprofessional behavior. She was faithful and loyal; Ava knew she could never cheat on Ethan. In Ava’s mind having inappropriate thoughts about anyone but her mate counted as an infidelity and it was more than reason to feel guilty. Her guilt turned into remorse and she busied her mind by making up excuses for Ethan on her drive back home. By the time she pulled into their driveway, Ava was sure that he hadn’t phoned because he had been called last minute into work. Once he returned home, they would talk everything out and both apologize to each other. Ethan had always been understanding and kind towards her, but he was only a human being. One little outburst didn’t make him a bad man or a bad boyfriend. His father had always put a certain amount of pressure on him to be a success and to join the family law firm. Surely Ethan knew that he could also be a success right here in Michigan and that he didn’t have to allow his family to dictate where they would live or what their futures were. Ava would even consider a move Upstate after she had finished medical school and gotten her degree. She would then have the experience and the credentials to apply for a position at the Veterans Hospital there. Ethan had always told Ava that her happiness was all he ever cared about in this world and he knew just how much this all meant to her. Surely their relationship and their respect for one another would enable them to come to a compromise. Ava was starting to feel better about the recent events in her life, maybe this argument was more of a test and a right of passage in her and Ethan’s relationship. After all, every couple had to overcome hardships and if this was the worst of their hardships, she was one lucky girl.
Ava climbed out of her car and took a deep breath as she stood. Ethan would be coming home in a few short hours and she needed to be calm and have a clear and open mind. Most of all she needed to show him that she was sorry for acting like a spoiled brat during their fight. Instead of pouting and crying, she should have taken the initiative and tried to talk things out. Instead of realizing that she was in fact blinded by love, Ava felt as if she had been blinded by her anger that night. Ethan had always treated her like a queen and the one and only time he had ever told her no, she completely lost her cool. They were engaged to be married, which meant they were family and family did not turn their backs on each other when the going got tough. Ava unlocked her apartment door, pausing for a moment to listen for sounds of anyone inside. Just as she had expected, Ethan was not home and Ava now felt sure that he had been called in last minute to work. He had gotten a job right after graduation working at one of his professor’s law firms. The firm was small but business was plentiful and Ethan was a star attorney there. It wasn’t uncommon for him to get a late night or last minute call to come into the office to help work on a tough case.
Ava put the kettle on, sitting across the kitchen on a stool as she waited for its familiar whistle. Something felt eerie and off in the apartment, but nothing seemed amiss. Ava dismissed the feelings, as far as she could see nothing seemed out of place in the home and she probably just felt unsettled because it was the first time she had been back there since the fight. She told herself to relax and that by this time tomorrow, all would be right between her and Ethan again. Ava decided to take a bubble bath which always seemed to help her calm down, taking her cup of tea with her for extra comfort and relaxation. She definitely needed to unwind after that much tension, both at home and at work. When Ethan came home, Ava wanted to feel refreshed and calm.
It wasn’t until Ava opened the couples shared closet that she noticed something was terribly wrong. All of Ethan’s clothes were gone and so were his shoes. Ethan had a massive wardrobe and always boasted of his fashion sense, the now nearly bare closet felt like a sharp slap to the face. Ava ran over to his dresser, not even noticing that she had dropped her towel in her haste. She flung open each of Ethan’s drawers one by one, tears streaming down her face as she found them all the be empty. She tore apart what was once their shared bedroom, panicking as she found that seemingly every trace of her fiancé had been removed. Ava began to shiver violently, suddenly feeling very cold. She grabbed her bathrobe off the back of the bathroom door, glancing at the sink as she walked by. Ava hadn’t noticed as she readied herself for a bath, but even Ethan’s toothbrush was gone. She went back into the bedroom, laying in a fetal position in her now too large feeling bed. Ava sobbed loudly as everything sunk in and seemed to hit her all at once. Ethan had not been called into work today. He had not spent anytime concocting the perfect apology, just as Ava had. There would be no talks or great compromising between the pair. Ethan had left her, no goodbye or explanation. He had chosen his career and his wealth over her, and she was left feeling worthless and torn apart.
Ava called out of work the following day, wanting only to wallow in her own sorrow and despair. She couldn’t believe he had really gone no note, no call, not even a bad excuse left in his wake. Ethan had just packed his bags and left as if their relationship had meant nothing to him, as if Ava had meant nothing to him. She tried her best to keep a stiff upper lip, or at least appear as if she could. Ava vowed to herself that she would not call him; after all it was Ethan who had done her wrong. She owed him no explanations, apologies and she certainly would never beg for him to come back. It only took a few hours before she broke down and texted him, the first message simply reading “why?”. It was the same question that had been burning through her mind all day, why had he abandoned her? Why did he decide he no longer loved her? Why was it so easy for him to leave and forget about her? By eight pm that night Ava had sent Ethan over twenty text messages, each and every one remaining unanswered. Ava knew she had to face the music, Ethan was gone and he was not coming back. She knew that she would recover from this heartbreak and she still had dreams she wanted to achieve and a life of her own that she wanted to live. She promised herself that she would not shed another tear for the pompous jerk that had broken her heart. Ava also promised herself that it would be a cold day in hell before she foolishly let another man get close enough to her to hurt her again.
As much as she wished she could have stayed home, tucked away in her bed and watching Lifetime movies while she licked her wounds, Ava knew she had to return to work. There were people at the rehab center with real wounds that needed healing and she couldn’t let her clients down. Besides the fact, Ethan had left his portion of the rent unpaid and Ava honestly couldn’t afford more than one day off of work without pay. Today would be an easy day anyway, she was seeing Lucas again. She tried her best to cover up her puffy eyes with makeup in her car’s review mirror before she took a big gulp of her coffee and got ready to walk into work. Ava plastered a fake smile on her face and greeted everyone as she walked by, pretending that everything was absolutely normal and that she was fine. Still, Ava was feeling drained and tired before her day had even begun.
Lucas was uncharacteristically late today, which concerned Ava a little but at least it would give her more time to prepare. She decided to go into the nurses break room and grab another cup of Joe before Lucas arrived. She paused just outside in the hallway to check her cell phone, just as she had neurotically done every fifteen minutes or so since Ethan had left her. There were still no texts or calls from her former fiancé and Ava could feel her heart sink a little bit each time she checked. Before Ava had the chance to walk into the break room, she could over hear the other nurses talking. The group never tired of their gossip but Ava was shocked to overhear that this time they were gossiping about her. To be more specific, about her and Ethan’s recent breakup. Ava had gone to school with a few of the other nurses there and it didn’t surprise her that some of them were Ethan’s friend on social media. It was a small town and even at the large university, the students were tight nit and friendly with one another. He must have either posted about leaving her, or removed his relationship status on his page. Ethan had wasted no time blocking Ava’s profile so she had no idea that her misfortune had been made so public. Ava felt embarrassed and crushed, but also angry at Ethan and the other nurses. Ethan made no attempt to protect Ava’s feelings or even try to let her down gently. As far as the other nurses, they had no right to meddle in her life and Ava considered them only to be acquaintances. Feeling her eyes begin to brim with tears once more, Ava decided that perhaps it would be best to skip the second cup of coffee and to avoid facing her hecklers for the time being.