Ruin Me (7 page)

He shrugs. “I think you’re not as full of surprises as you might think.”

I shake my head once. “You don’t even know anything about me,” I say.

“I think I know more than you think I do.” His lips curl into a smirk. “I think you just
can’t
wait
to get out to Harvard and leave the rest of us common folk behind you. I mean, you’re prettier, you’re smarter, and just straight up
better
than the rest of us, am I right?”

His hostility brings me great pause. I’ve always considered Kai and me to be rivals but I’ve never seen him quite this antagonistic towards me. “What the hell are you talking about?” I ask.

“Look at you right now—” he says, pointing to my hands. “You haven’t even touched your drink, as if it’s somehow beneath you or something.”

I heave an angry breath and bring the bottle to my lips. He laughs as I chug a heavy portion of it down my throat. “Happy?” I ask.

He leans forward. “Ecstatic,” he spits with sarcasm.

“Chill out, guys,” Mandy says. She lays a smooth hand on mine for a second, pulling my senses back in. “We’re all friends here.”

“But I think Kai has a point,” Shawn says. “We should use this time to get to know each other a little better.”

“I know where this is going…” Kai mutters.

“I say we get a little
immature
,” Shawn continues. “How about a game of accelerated ‘Never Have I Ever?’”

“Accelerated
‘Never Have I Ever?”’ I question.

“You drink after each question regardless of your answer,” Mandy explains. “It’s basically just heavy drinking during casual conversation.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course, it is.”

“I’m in,” Kai says.

“I’m not,” I say. “You guys go ahead.”

“Oh, come on, Piper…” Shawn says. “You don’t have to maintain that prim and proper reputation anymore. High school is over, right?”

“Yeah,
Piper
,” Kai adds. “What are you scared of?”

I stare at him across the compartment. The gentle sounds of the train car rocking back and forth fill the silence between us. My omission earlier must have really rattled him. He wants to know more about what I’ve done and honestly, openly admitting my secrets to him gave me an instant sugar rush. The high has officially leaked out of my system and I’d relish in the opportunity to take in his stunned face once again.

“And hey—” Shawn warns. “As
always
, when the words hit
air
, they stay
there
. No repeating each other’s secrets. It’s a house rule.” He pops up his little finger and holds it out in the space between all of us. “All right. Come on. Four-way pinky promise. Let’s go.”

Mandy shoots her finger out and the two of them touch knuckles. “I’m in,” she says.

Kai does the same, his eyes laying soft on me. “How about it, Pipes?” he grins. “What happens on the train, stays on the train.”

What am I scared of indeed?

“Fine,” I say. I hold out my little finger and everybody touches digits to seal the pact.

Shawn rubs his palms together in excitement. “All right…” he laughs. “A game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ with Piper Lynch. This is buckle list territory right here. I’ll start.”

I bring my bottle to my lips and take a quick sip to hide my amusement. Kai continues his stare at me, easily seeing through my ruse.

“Let’s begin with an easy one,” Shawn says, his fingers wrapped tightly around his beer bottle. “Just to make sure we’re all on the same page in terms of experience.
Never have I ever
kissed a dude.”

I shake my head and take a sip. Mandy does the same.

“Okay, cool,” he says.

“Oh, I think we’re way beyond the basics here, Shawn,” Kai muses, his eyes locked on me. “But let’s fiddle with the baby steps.
Never have I ever
fucked a dude.”

Mandy slams back another sip while I slowly bring my bottle to my lips.

Shawn reaches out and slaps Kai’s arm. “Oh, good god,” he whispers.

Kai grins. “Your turn, Pipes. What
haven’t
you done?”

I tilt my head. “Well, I’ve never fucked a man in this room and I never will.”

Mandy sighs and takes a third sip.

Shawn flinches. “I just heard Piper Lynch say fuck…” he mutters.

I smirk at him as Mandy leans forward. “
Never have I ever
been in a three-way with
two
guys
,” she says with a knowing glance in my direction.

“Rude…” I say as I raise my bottle.

“Hey, you targeted me with the last one.”

“Sorry, lady,” I tell her as I drink.

“It’s cool. We’re even now,” she says.

We look across the compartment and Shawn’s jaw is on the floor.

Kai exhales slowly. “What guys?” he stutters out.

“No one you know, I assure you,” I say, shifting my glance over to Shawn. “Let’s move on.”

He pulls his tongue back into his mouth. “Uh…” he thinks. “Hold on.” He takes a long, stiff drink.

“Pace yourself, Shawn,” Kai says. “I’m sure there’s plenty more. Right,
Piper
?”

I don’t answer. I sense an anger buried deep inside his tone. As curious as he is to know more of my secrets, he can’t stop himself from getting pissed off as my truth unfolds. He’s wanted me for so long now, this must be killing him. I lick my lips and let my sneer take over.

“
Never have I ever
been in a three-way with
two girls
either—” Shawn inverts the last one, lacking creativity.

Kai proudly raises his bottle and chugs a firm amount down his throat, no doubt thinking he’s the king of this round. Mandy and I glance at one another for a second before we each take a sip.

“No.” Kai points a finger at us, sensing our unspoken words. “You said you’ve never fucked anyone in this room.”

“I said I’ve never fucked
a
man
in this room,” I reiterate slowly.

Shawn’s eyes dance between Mandy and me. “Jesus Christ…” he whispers, his eyes falling pleasantly catatonic.

“You two have fooled around?” Kai asks us.

“Twice,” I confirm.

Mandy shrugs. “Guilty,” she sings.

“You look
surprised
, Kai,” I note. I stare him down, his eyes on fire. “What was it that you said about me and surprises again?”

“How do people not know about any of this?” he asks me.

“Because unlike you,” I say, “I keep my fucking mouth shut and I don’t
fool around
with people that can’t do the same.”

He looks at Mandy. “Was this before or after
we
did it?” he asks her.

Mandy’s eyes sweep the ceiling as she searches her memory. “Before,” she answers. “And then again after.”

“And you didn’t think to mention this to me?” he asks.

I scoff. “It never would have stopped you and we all know it, Kai,” I say. “Especially not with your little wager in play.”

He exhales a quick, angry breath through his nose. “Well,
never have
I
ever
let someone
strangle
me so hard it left a giant bruise on my neck,” he spits with a quick hand gesture towards my throat.

“Sure…” I lean forward and I don’t fucking blink. “I’ve been strangled to the point of unconsciousness by men whose names I didn’t even ask for. I’ve been blindfolded, spanked, finger-cuffed, tied down to hotel room beds, and fucked in the ass so hard, I cried. And I enjoyed every fucking second of it and
that’s
what really bothers you, isn’t it,
stepbrother
?” I pause and empty the remains of my bottle down my throat while he stares back at me with shaking eyes. “Or is it because they achieved what you never could? They knew the right words to say, the right places to touch me, all the right ways to get me into bed — and after all this time… you
still
can’t figure me out.” I let the empty bottle slip from my fingers and it clatters intact against the floor of the silent compartment.

Kai looks away from me, his eyes completely downturn. I can’t tell if it’s from disgust or embarrassment. Probably both. Anger flutters softly in my chest. My fingers and toes buzz with adrenaline as I slowly come to terms with what I just said.

“So…” Shawn breaks the silence, “were all those things you listed… at the
same time
? Or…?”

“Jesus, Shawn…”
Kai whispers. He awkwardly rubs his forehead with one hand before sending his fingers back through his thick brown hair.

Mandy cracks first, her laughter splitting the air quietly around her before her voice crashes through it. I stare at her and my anger spikes before she looks at me with tears in her eyes. I dart my gaze forward as Shawn starts chuckling, too. I bite my inner cheek to try and keep my lips from curling up, but I can’t stop it. I cover my mouth and look up to see Kai doing the same.

We both begin to laugh until the entire room echoes with all our voices.

Shawn slides a fresh beer out of the box and holds it out for me. I take it with a shaking hand. “Damn, Piper,” he breathes. “My respect for you just like…
tripled
.”

I pop the cap off the bottle and choke out a laugh. “I can’t imagine why…” I take a slow drink and stare at my hands. What I really want to do is look up at Kai again, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I feel a soreness in my chest, a deep regret for what I said to him. I’ve thought about telling Kai off a thousand times, and each time I thought it’d bring me great pleasure to finally do so.

I was wrong.

Suddenly, I’m reminded again why I don’t like to drink.

Fuck it.
I take another sip and finish the bottle just before we arrive at the station in Munich.

Chapter 8

Kai

“The bet’s off.”

Shawn stares at me with a wrinkled nose. “What?” he asks.

I plop down on the twin-sized hotel bed and the old mattress creaks beneath my weight. “I said, the bet’s off.”

He tosses his duffel onto the other bed and stares down at me in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asks.

I sigh and prop myself up on my elbows. “You heard her, man…” I scratch an itch on top of my head and another one traveling down my arm. This whole situation is giving me stress tickles. “There’s no way she’s ever going to sleep with me now.”

Shawn blinks at me multiple times. “Dude…” he says. “I don’t know what train car you were in, but all I heard coming out of Piper’s mouth was,
‘I want you, Kai. I need you, Kai. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me—’
”

“Are you kidding me right now?” I interrupt. “She fucking hates me.”

He sits down on his bed across from me and leans forward. “She may have been
saying
that shit, but she was speaking a
very
different language with her eyes.”

I think back, but all I can remember is the bright blue oceans in her pupils boiling from the volcanic eruption threatening to singe my eyebrows off. I shake my head. “No, Shawn. The bet’s off.”

“Mandy saw it, too.”

“What did she say?” I ask a little too quickly.

“Nothing,” he answers, “but the two of us
did
exchange a few glances.”

“Glances aren’t exactly evidence, Shawn.”

“They’re better than nothing. I wouldn’t count yourself out just yet. You still have some time.”

“No,” I say. “I’m taking a flight back home in the morning—”

“Oh, come on, Kai—”

“I just want to put all this shit behind me and forget about Piper
fucking
Lynch.”