Ruin Me (23 page)

With every word she says, I feel worse and worse. “I’m sorry!” I speak fast, knowing that she’ll just interrupt me again. “I take it all back, all right?”

“You’re damn right you take it all back,” she spits. “And what hell happened between you two in there? What did you do?”

“What did
I
do?” I parrot back. “She pulled me into a bathroom and wouldn’t let me out until I talked to her.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to her when she asked you to?”

“Because…” I shake my head. “I wasn’t ready yet.”

She pauses, understanding my meaning. “Well, what did she say?”

“She didn’t tell you?”

“No, she barely said a word to me.” Mandy slides her phone on again. “And honestly, it freaked me out a little. She had tears in her eyes.”

I try to imagine it, but the extreme ridiculousness of the idea refuses to take shape in my mind. “Oh, she did not,” I say. I look back at the house and a twinge of guilt strikes my guts.

“You know how many times I’ve seen Piper Lynch cry?
Negative zero
, that’s how many.”

“I refuse to believe she was
crying,
” I argue again. The more I try to imagine it, the thicker the denial feels.

“Maybe she wasn’t, I don’t know,” Mandy says. “But she certainly wasn’t her classic jovial self a few minutes ago when I stuck her in a taxi cab.”

“Taxi cab?” I ask. “Where was she going?”

“She didn’t say.”

“Did you ask?”

“Do you really even care where she is?”

I bite my tongue. Fucking hell. A split second of not knowing where Piper is in the world and I’m already panicking. “I’m going back to the dorm,” I say instead. “I saw Shawn last at the beer pong table in the backyard. Check there.”

“Thanks,” she says.

I spin on my heels and cut across the street.

***

Before today, it was difficult to close my eyes at night at not think about Piper Lynch lying next to me.

Tonight, it’s fucking impossible.

I touched her skin. I smelled her perfume. I heard her voice, fresh off her pink tongue. I could have reached out in that bathroom and kissed her. I may have even thought about it once, but my rage held me back. Six months of emotional agony led to that moment. Every night, I love her and hate her and love her again and hate her even more. I knew facing her again was inevitable. I rehearsed lines over and over in my head, preparing myself for that moment when I could finally say what I wanted to say to her.

But I wasn’t ready.

Everything I planned to say turned to mush in my mouth. I could only muster a few insults to slam back at her, ones that I didn’t even mean. It’s stupid and immature, but that’s me for you. Crack open the nutshell and that’s Kai Casablancas.

I want a second chance, but if Mandy is right and Piper really was crying when she left, then I may not get one. For all I know, Piper rode straight to the airport and bought the next ticket out of dodge. Maybe it’s all for the best. I don’t deserve a second chance and she might not even deserve forgiveness.

A clean break. That’s what she said in we needed in Madrid. She was probably right all along.

My phone chimes on top of my bedside table. For a second, my heart leaps and I think that maybe Piper has chosen to contact me. But why would she? Maybe she’s in trouble. Maybe she needs my help. Maybe—

Chill the fuck out, Kai. It’s just your alarm.

It’s nine in the morning. Somehow, I managed to stay up all night thinking about this. I have my English class in an hour. Luckily, it’s my only class on Fridays and I can come back here afterward and try to get some sleep before the parent’s day festivities begin.

I roll off the bed and try not to wake Shawn while I get ready.

***

Knock knock.

The pounding brings me out of a nightmare. I’m strapped to a cliff hanging over the ocean. Waves of a black sea crash beneath me, but there’s no danger there. The danger flies above me in the shape a giant, Piper Lynch-shaped falcon that swoops down once a day and eats my heart out. I think for a moment that it’s all over and that I’ll finally die, but then my heart grows back overnight while her shape flies in circles over my head, waiting for the next feeding time.

Fuck. I should really drop that Mythology class…

Knock knock.

I grunt as I push myself off my bed. It feels like I’ve only been asleep for twenty minutes. When I got back from my class, Shawn was still here. He’s gone now, so I must have been out for hours…

Knock knock.

“Yeah, yeah!” I grab the door and pull it open.

Piper
fucking
Lynch stands in my hallway. I’m immediately wide awake as I stare down at her.

“Sorry… did I wake you?” she asks.

“Yeah,” I say. My eyes wander down her petite body. She wears a white blouse and blue jeans — tight blue jeans. The top buttons on the blouse are open, revealing the smooth skin of her chest just above her large and round—

“I just wanted to stop by and let you know I was leaving.”

My eyes snap to her perfect red lips. “Oh,” I mutter. I feel a bit of relief. Soon, she’ll be gone and I can get back to that whole
clean break
thing.

“But before that, I wanted to…” She pauses and bites her lip.

“What?” I ask.

“Can I come in?”

I think on it for a moment. Opening up to Piper again, no matter what the context, doesn’t feel like the best move. “No,” I finally say.

“Fine. I’ll just ask you out here.” She rests her hands against the doorway and my eyes immediately fall downward to her cleavage.

“Ask me what?” I force my eyes back up.

Her lips curl. “Wanna fuck?”

And just like that, my cock stands to attention. “Seriously?” I sigh.

“Oh, come on, Kai. I mean, I came all this way just to see you.” Her deep blue eyes lock on mine, pulling me in. “Before I leave, we might as well go to town on each for a little while… for old times’ sake.”

Every ounce of blood inside of me rushes south. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that, Pipes?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Is that a no?”

Yes. Say yes.
“No,” I mutter.

You idiot.

She drifts forward, just barely inching through the doorway tits first. “Then can I come in?” Her eyes peek around me into the room.

I flex my jaw and inhale deep.
Real deep.
There are a million reasons to slam the door on her damn face again and only one reason not to. I’m frustrated — emotionally, sexually, you name it and I’m it. I want nothing more than to take that frustration out on Piper’s petite little body. In fact, it’s not even the worst idea in the world. There’s gotta be some branch of psychology out there that would consider it
healthy
, right?

She looks back at me with those stunning blue eyes. Her lust peeks out at me through her long, black lashes, urging my own to boil to the surface.

I move to the side and her smile stretches along her lips as she steps forward. I close the door and lock it with a quick flick of my wrist.

“Where’s Shawn?” she asks, glancing around the cramped room.

“Class,” I answer.

She drops her purse to the floor and looks back at me as her fingers fall to the front of her white blouse. “How long will he be gone?” Her fingers start flicking the buttons open and I see the tops of her breasts poking out of a tight, red bra. I flash back to that little inn we stayed at in Dublin and the ecstasy I felt when I shot a load all over—

I clear my throat. “I don’t know,” I answer. “A few hours. Maybe…”

“Well, we can be quick…” she whispers, “but I
really
don’t want to be.” The blouse slides down her shoulders and topples to the floor below.

I bite my tongue to keep from speaking, but the words come tumbling out anyway. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this, Piper—” I freeze as she reaches out and grips my belt. There’s a gnawing feeling at the back of my mind, the kind that plagues you moments before you remember something important.

“Do you want to?” she asks me.

“Yes —
god, yes
…” I breathe, shaking my head. “I just… don’t want to open that door again.” She pauses and gazes up into my eyes. “It was pretty hard to close after last time…”

She bites her bottom lip. “I know what you mean,” she says. “I don’t want to mess things up for you here any more than I already have, Kai.” Her fingers slip into my open zipper. “But I think — of all people — the two of us should be able to keep this casual. Don’t you think?”

I sigh as her fingers wrap around my stiff cock. She licks her lips, the way she always used to before dropping to her knees in front of me.
Fuck.
Piper Lynch and I have had some pretty bad times in the past, but I can’t seem to remember a single fucking one of them right now. My mind is full of the good ones, like the look in her eyes when I surprised her on the train to London, or her laughter on the wind when I held her hand while she bent back to kiss the Blarney Stone, or the mind-numbing pleasure I felt coming inside of her over and over again while a parade marched by our hotel window in Madrid.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

There has to be something I’m forgetting, some moment that will pull me out of this downward spiral, but I just can’t—

Piper pushes herself up onto her toes and gently plants a kiss on my lips. It’s a quick peck, like a friendly greeting after a long time away from each other. My tongue erupts with saliva while my cock twitches hard in her hand. I can barely hear anything over the pounding of blood in my ears.

“Right…” I say. “Casual it is.”

She smiles at me and lowers herself down onto her knees.

Piper
fucking
Lynch. My oldest acquaintance. My wicked stepsister. My ex-lover, down to fuck once again.

Her lips wrap around my tip and everything goes black. That
mouth
. The direct source of my greatest pleasures and most frustrating aggravations. I can’t tell you how many times her words have driven me to want to strangle her (although, as history tells, she’d probably just enjoy that), nor can I say how many times I’ve wanted to jizz down her little throat. If I had to guess, the numbers would be about equal with the urge to strangle her winning by a short margin.

I let my fingertips fall to her head and I comb them through her short, black locks. She’s teasing me now, refusing to take me in any more than an inch or two. Her tongue tastes me over and over again between little sucks. I can’t take the throbbing. My balls ache black and blue, ready to mark all over her face, but I hold it back. No, I’m not letting it go to waste so quickly. I let her work me in and she keeps the excruciating pace for another minute before her little blue oceans glance up at me and she takes me all the way into the back of her throat.

It hits me like a tidal wave, nearly knocking me off my feet. I laugh hard, I can’t help myself. Her technique hasn’t changed a bit, but I’m certainly not complaining. It reminds me of that bathroom we snuck into together at a pub in London.

Fuck. Another good memory of her.

Didn’t I despise her a few minutes ago? Isn’t there something else I’m supposed to be—
Fuck—

I inhale sharply as she sucks hard on my sensitive tip. This pain in me is almost too much for me to handle. I reach down and grip her shoulders to bring her up to face me again. Her lips glisten with her saliva and I steal a taste of her wonderful flavor for myself. She moans against my lips. It makes me kiss her even harder as I unzip her tight jeans. She quivers against my touch and lets me push her jeans down to the floor to reveal red panties to match her tight bra. I kiss her thighs on the way back up, making her giggle softly into the air. She grips my shirt and pulls it over my head.

I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist. She kisses me again and massages our tongues together as my cock presses against her, begging to be inside of her. I stumble across the room and lower her onto my bed in the corner. Her short hair creates a dark halo around her head and I smile down at her.

“What?” she asks.

“I actually kind of like your hair like this,” I chuckle.

She shakes her head with a devious smirk. “You don’t have to compliment me during a casual hook-up, Kai.”

I raise an eyebrow and grip her wrists before pinning her arms above her head. “I can insult you, if you prefer. It might be more fun for me, actually…”

“Or we can just stop talking altogether…” She grins and pushes up to steal a kiss from me.

I kiss her back and release her hands as I descend her petite body. I come face-to-face with her glorious tits and I remember how much I miss them. I fell asleep on them one night in Dublin and had the most magnificent dreams of my life. She complained about back pain the next morning, but it was so fucking worth it.