Roses in the Sand (3 page)

“There’s nothing wrong with aiming high as long as you are realistic,” Johanna said. “From the sounds of it, you know that. You know you’ll have to work hard to get what you want in the end.”

She was a little apprehensive after how things had gone down with previous lovers. Most of them hooked up with her only because she was a member of a band. They were only there just so they could get close to the band. Once they got what they wanted, they dropped Johanna and left before anyone could say goodbye. Johanna had been crushed too many times that she vowed never to tell anyone about her. If they found out about her on their own, great. If they didn’t, then she wouldn’t tell a soul. So far, Lily seemed to be clueless about the whole thing. She wanted her to stay that way.

As long as I’m plain old Jo, she won’t suspect a thing.
Johanna thought.
She won’t know who I really am or what I truly do for a living.

Lying to people was not fun. She especially didn’t want to lie to Lily because she was growing fond of her. No one made her feel the way that Lily did. No one gave her the goosebumps that Lily gave her. Even now, as they were standing next to each other, she could feel the spark between them. She just wanted to know if Lily felt the same way.

“Lily, can I ask you something?” She began.

“Sure thing, Jo. What is it?”

“Do you think we’re good friends at this point?”

“Well, we know each other rather well now. We may not know everything, but we know enough. I know that I can trust you with my life if I need to. I know you’re the kind of person I have no qualms walking around with. In short, I think we are good friends.”

“What if I was holding a big secret from you?”

“Depends on how big that secret is. Did you murder someone?”

“No.”

“Are you married?”

“No.”

“Are you cheating on your husband?”

“Hell no! Come on, Lily! We're not living in a soap opera! Come up with some serious choices here!”

“Okay, okay. Let’s see...it’s not murder, an affair, or marriage. There’s no baby involved, is there?”

“Lily!” Johanna was amused, but she was also getting tired of this. “I’m being serious here. How would you feel if I was holding the world’s biggest secret from you.”

“I, uh…” Lily paused for a second. “It depends on how big the secret is. What do you mean by world’s biggest?”

“What if I told you I wasn’t who I claimed to be?”

“Why, who are you claiming to be?”

“What if I work in the music industry, but not as what I claim to be?” She asked. “What if I did a completely different job?”

“Why would that bother me?” Lily asked. “If you have a low paying job, that’s not going to dampen our relationship. I have a low paying job as well. I work in a pizzeria trying to pay my bills! I’m not going to judge you if the job isn’t exactly glamorous.”

“Oh, good,” Johanna sighed. “Yeah, it’s a lot more different than office work. It’s a bit more…hectic to say the least.”

“My job is always hectic. Hence why I’m here. I’m trying to get away from all things hectic,” Lily said. “Trust me, Jo. Whatever you do, I’m not going to think less of you for it.”

“Mmm, that’s what I love about you, Lily. You don’t judge anyone. That’s a good trait to have,” Johanna winked at her. “That’s why I feel like I can tell you anything.”

“Nothing you ever tell me is ever going to make me think less of you,” Lily promised. “You already got the big things out of the way. Are you a famous rock star or something?”

“Actually…I am.” Johanna nodded. “I’m not the most important member, but I am in a rock band.”

Lily laughed. “I knew it!”
 

“You did?”

“Yeah, I figured when I saw your hair and your wardrobe. You either have to be a member of the band or a groupie. Judging from your attitude, I don’t think you’re a groupie. Therefore, you must be in a rock band. Now let me guess which rock band you’re in!”

“Ah, that might be a little harder, but I will give you a little hint,” Johanna showed her the spider tattoo that she had. “Does this ring a bell?”

“Um…” Lily tried to think about where she had seen the tattoo before. “I…I know it looks familiar. I just can’t figure out who else has that tattoo out there. Are you the lead singer of the band?”

“No.”

“Do you play the guitar?”

“No.”

“How about the bass?”

“Nope! Come on, Lily. There’s only one other choice out there.”

“You’re the drummer?”

“Bingo!” 

“Awesome! I love drummers!”

“You’re just saying that because you found out about me,” Johanna laughed.

“I mean it though. Everyone gives all the love to the lead singer and the guitar player and the drummer ends up getting nothing in return. That’s just not fair. I bet you’re an amazing drummer too. You deserve to have a lot of fans.”

“You’re just too kind, Lily. Thank you though. You’re right about one thing; no one really gives drummers a lot of credit. We’re the ones that keep the beat going, but we’re in the back so no one notices. In some ways, that’s a good thing. I’m not hounded by crazy fans as the others in the band are. I’m free to roam about without worrying about someone noticing me. I can play the drums to my heart’s content and I have freedom to go wherever I want.”

“That must be nice. You get the perks without the pain.”

“Yeah, that is a good thing,” Johanna agreed. “I can travel anywhere I want and play my instrument without worrying too much about my image. Of course, I still have to be careful. One wrong move and I could end up on a million gossip mags.”

“I suppose I never have to worry about that,” Lily said. “No one cares to know much about a writer’s life. Unless you’ve got a crazy life, they usually leave you alone. That might be a good thing though.”

“You have no idea how lucky you are,” Johanna said. “You aren’t surrounded by band mates that are notorious for causing trouble. They’re the ones that end up as front page news, not me. I know better than to do something that’ll have people talking about me.”

“You must have a very exciting life,” Lily said. “It sounds far more exciting than mine.”

“Your life sounds more ideal to me,” Johanna said. “Perhaps you can tell me more about it over some coffee. Let’s say tomorrow morning? You drink coffee, right?”

“Yes, I drink coffee.” Lily nodded. “I would love to meet up with you then.”

“It’s a date! I’ll see you tomorrow morning!”
 

Yes, it was a date. Whether or not Johanna meant to say it like that, it was definitely a date. They were going out again and they were going to spend a lot of time together.

And Lily couldn’t wait for that to happen.

Chapter 5

While Johanna had spilled her secrets out, Lily was still struggling to talk about herself. Lily liked Johanna and wasn’t too worried about being hurt by her. Johanna hadn’t lied about anything after all. Even now, as they were heading to the coffee shop to get something to drink, Lily trusted her. So Johanna was a musician. That didn’t mean she was a bad person.

They had already shared their first kiss the night before. Johanna was dropping her off at her apartment when Lily leaned over and pecked her on the cheek. It was such a sudden thing that she didn’t realize what she was doing. Before she could apologize, Johanna leaned over and kissed her on the mouth. The two of them were locked in a passionate kiss and no one could pull them apart. They didn’t stop kissing until Johanna pulled away.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have_” She began but Lily wouldn’t let her finish. She leaned in and finished off the kiss. This was what she had been waiting for. She could feel Johanna pulling her off her feet and twirling her around. They felt like an old married couple at that moment.

“Kiss me all the time,” Lily suggested when Johanna put her down. “I like the way you kiss.”

That had been last night. Tonight, they were acting like nothing had happened. Their date to the coffee shop was still on, but neither wanted to talk about the kiss. They were pretending that it never took place. However, Lily could still feel Johanna’s lips against hers. They still burned from the kisses. She put her hand to her mouth and touched where Johanna’s mouth had been. It felt good. She kept looking at Johanna’s mouth and wanted to kiss her again.

“You’ve got to tell me all about being a writer,” Johanna said as they sat down to have some coffee. “I’m sure that there has to be some excitement to it.”

“Being a writer isn’t all that glamorous. Sure, you get your own set of fans, but you have to work hard every single moment of your life. You have to use your time wisely. Sometimes, you have so much time but the ideas don’t come as easily. That’s when it becomes a little hard to deal with. You hit a wall and then you spend so much time trying to dig yourself out of a hole.”

“How many books have you published so far?”

“The one I’m working on is going to be my eleventh.”

“Eleven?! Damn, that’s a lot! I’m highly impressed with you.”

“Oh, it’s not that impressive. The other books came to me much easier than this one is. I’ve been trying to write this book for some time now,” Lily said. “I just keep getting blocked whenever I want to write it. I sit down, I have everything ready, and I draw blanks. That’s all that’s been happening with me. It happened at home and it’s happening here as well. I thought that maybe some of the stress at work would fuel me, but it doesn’t.”

“Well, what’s this new book going to be about?”

“It’s a lesbian romance, which is one of the easiest things for me to write,” Lily said. “I wrote so many of them and I used to be so good at it too. Then all of a sudden, I hit a wall with my writing and I just can’t get any of it down. I don’t know what it is about me, but I’m struggling all of a sudden. I’m struggling with the one thing that I’m good at. Throw in the stress from my other job and I have no time to write back at home. I can see how you feel about songwriting. Things just don’t come that easy.”

“You and I have a lot in common. We’re both bogged down by our jobs for starters,” Johanna said. “We get tired so easily by bullshit.”

“We’re both suffering from writer’s block.” Lily added. “We’re trying so hard to shake it off but it’s not happening so easily. We’re failures in that regard.”

“Ah, we’ll get over our writer’s block soon enough,” Johanna grasped Lily's hand and squeezed it. “One way or another, we’ll find the perfect story to tell.”

“God, I hope you’re right,” Lily sighed. “I dragged my laptop over here in hopes of getting some work down and I didn’t even turn it on. Okay, that’s a total lie. I did go on to see stuff online but that’s it. That’s all I’ve really done ever since I’ve been on vacation. I’ve just fooled around on the net. You could say that I was supposed to do research, but I didn’t do a damn thing. I just played around on the net and checked things left and right. That’s not what I was supposed to do.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I brought my laptop with me as well and I haven’t done a thing with it either,” Johanna looked down at the ground. “Lily, I’ve got to tell you something. Since we’re getting to know each other, there’s something you need to know about me. I’ve been keeping secrets from you because I’m not sure how you’re going to react. They’re not bad secrets though!”

“Well, then you shouldn’t be afraid,” Lily said. “Are you going to tell me that you’re married or pregnant or not even gay?”

“No, it’s nothing that drastic!” Johanna exclaimed. “It’s about my career. I do work in the music industry, but not just as a drummer. I do a lot more than that. I’m a songwriter, not a story writer. So my writer’s block is completely different from yours.”

“That’s what you’re trying to tell me? That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Lily pointed out. “I’ve been telling you about my failures for a long time. It’s about high time I got to know a little more about you. So you don’t do what you claim to do. You just have a better job than me. I’m not going to get jealous over something like that.”

“I’m not worried about you getting jealous. I’m worried that you feel like I’m moving too fast.”

“I don’t understand that.”

“I live life in a fast lane, Lily. I rarely get moments to slow down,” Johanna said. “I move from one country to another in a single night. I barely get a chance to rest. If you want to hang out with me, you have to move as fast as I do. You have to keep up with me. Otherwise, you are going to get left behind in the dust and you don’t want to do that.”