Room For One (3 page)

Steff closed the door behind her and sat down on the bed. She was still clutching her coffee cup, so they drank in silence for a bit as the kitchen noises started dying down.

“David’s a nice guy,” Steff said finally, giving Toby a studied look.

“Yes yes yes, we had sex. I was tired and we were drinking and he made dinner and we had sex.”

Steff nodded. “I figured. I’ve lived with you for three years. I knew something was up when the couch was a disaster and your boxers were on the rocking chair.”

Toby looked around frantically and realized that the pile of clothes he’d dragged back with him the night before was, indeed, missing his underwear. “Oh crap.”

“Anyway, he was awake when I got home, looking thoroughly debauched.”

“Who says that? Debauched?”

“Shut up. You know what I mean. Also, he looked thoroughly pissed too.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad.”

“What are you, blind?”

Toby frowned. “No, I know he’s cute. Pretty, even. I’m a photographer, Steff, I notice things like that.”

“But not that he’s been hitting on you for the last three months?”

“He… what?”

Steff rolled her eyes and took a slug from her mug before answering. “He grilled me not long after he moved in, asking if you were gay and about who you were seeing and what kind of guys you like and… really, really
not
subtle. And then he’s always making you dinner, and making sure you attend his parties, and… seriously, you didn’t know?”

Toby sat in stunned wonderment, remembering the candles and the music and the food, the very good whisky and David’s willingness to share.

“It was a date.” Toby groaned and lowered his head into his free hand.

“What?”

“I kept asking him if he had a date planned last night. It was all so… staged. I can’t believe I fell for that.”

Steff laughed, loudly, and the noises from upfront paused for a bit. Then the vacuum cleaner started up.

“Toby. Toby!” Steff, still laughing, poked him.

“What?”

“Do you like him?”

“Well yeah, hello, boxers on the rocking chair.”

“No, I mean…you know,
like him
.”

Toby paused. “I don’t know…” He turned to look at Steff. “It’s been a long time.”

“Long enough, maybe?” Steff gently put her hand on Toby’s knee, smiling at him. “You gotta try again sometime. David’s awesome, and he adores you. Everyone knows it. Well, except you, obviously.” Steff patted his knee and then stood up. “I’m just saying, think about it.” She left, closing the door behind her, and Toby sat on the bed drinking his cold coffee long after David gave up on the house cleaning and slammed the front door on his way out.

T
HE
usual monthly fete was set for the following Friday, and Toby was torn between making an awkward appearance or acting like a dick by staying away the whole night. David had been MIA since the morning he stormed out, and Toby was not too sure what he was going to say to him anyway, so he took the reprieve in the spirit of a man getting a free day before execution.

What ended up happening was that Steff locked him in the garage Friday afternoon before he could decide to escape or not.

“Open!”

“No!”

The door opened into the garage, so Toby wondered how the hell she had jammed it from the other side. “Steff, come on.”

“You are staying for dinner.”

“This really isn’t any of your business.”

“Yes or no.”

“Yes! Dammit! Open the door!”

“Hold on.”

There was some scuffling on the other side before the door was pushed open. Toby stepped back, ready to flay Steff alive, but instead David tumbled through.

“Don’t make me move out because your gay-boy emo moping drives me insane. Fix this.” Steff pointed at both of them and shut the door again with a loud slam. Toby stared at it, wondering if she had somehow jammed it locked again and a little scared to find out.

“I told her to stay out of it.” David stood with his hands spread out to his sides, frustrated and looking at the wall past Toby’s shoulder.

“So did I.”

“Well, we’re both pretty ineffectual.”

Toby laughed despite himself. After a second, they both awkwardly maneuvered around to arm’s length, facing each other.

“Look, I didn’t mean….”

David stopped him. “Don’t care. Really, really don’t. I made a mistake, I made an assumption, and it’s my own damn fault. Lesson learned.”

Toby squinted at him. “Okay?”

“Good. Next time I’ll stick with the band’s groupies.” David crossed his arms defensively, still staring at the wall.

Toby did not have anything to add to that, and kept quiet. He had a hunch that David was not quite done yet.

“I just…I thought we clicked. I haven’t been involved with anyone seriously for a while; maybe I just misread the signs. I don’t want you to think I was cruising you in your own living room.”

Toby nodded. “I know that.”

“Because I like the arrangement. I mean, the tenant part.” David flushed red, but Toby could not find it in himself to laugh. It was his fault that David thought they’d just had an awkward one-night stand.

Which was when he realized that was exactly what they had done, despite what he had said to David that night. “Well, shit.”

David went from red to pale in a heartbeat. “Okay, well, fine, I can be out by Monday.”

“No!” Toby stepped forward and grabbed David’s arm, dropping his hand quickly when David flinched. “Sorry… I….”

“The only thing keeping me from grabbing you and shaking some sense into you is knowing about your past, okay? So hands off.” David stepped backward.

Toby stared at him. “Thank you.”

“No problem. We done?”

“No. No, we aren’t. I owe you an apology.”

“I accept. Now are we done?”

“Would you slow down for a damn second?”

David uncrossed his arms, his shoulders slumping. Toby grabbed the reprieve and ran with it.

“I mean it: I’m sorry. I haven’t had anyone really interested in me for a while, and I tend to… avoid that kind of thing.”

“I noticed.” David rolled his eyes.

“David,
please
.” Toby pleaded, moving closer to the other man. David looked directly at him for the first time since being shoved in by Steff.

“I really don’t know what you want, here, Toby.”

“Am I going out on a limb thinking you were interested in a relationship with me?”

David paused, then nodded. “Yeah, I was.”

Toby’s heart clinched, and that told him what he needed to know about himself. Now he just had to figure out how to let David know. “But not anymore?”

David gave him a cursory, curious once-over. “Maybe.”

“Maybe yes?” Toby shuffled a few inches closer.

“You shut the door on me. That was a pretty clear message, man. This isn’t about apologies, or fixing things.”

Toby stopped at the comment, then nodded back. “I think it’s more about starting over.”

He saw David fighting a smile, and knew he had at least reopened the door between them. Toby reached up and gently ran his hand down David’s chest, pulling it away when he got to his waist. David sucked in a gasp and closed his eyes for a second. He opened them, and Toby nearly drowned in the intensity of his stare, David’s eyes crystal blue and honest.

“Toby, don’t… I mean, I really like you. If you aren’t ready to be a part of this, just don’t.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take if you are,” Toby said, because he simply could not promise anything. David studied him for a second, then nodded as if making up his mind. He stepped forward, cupped the back of Toby’s neck gently and leaned in to kiss him. Toby moved into the kiss, placing his hands on David’s waist, pulling him closer.

It was not one of the lust-heavy kisses they’d shared before, instead soft and exploratory with small adjustments made to accommodate noses, teeth, and tongue. David’s hand moved up to drag his fingers through Toby’s hair, and Toby moaned softly.

“
Hey! Do I turn the crockpot to ‘Low’ now?
” Steff shouted through the door and David nearly fell down jumping backward. They caught each other as they stumbled and started laughing, Toby dragging David into a hug. It felt good, even as awkward as they still were, and he wondered how much more awkward things might get, despite wanting what they were headed for.

“Yes! I’ll be right out! …wait, can I get out?” David shouted back. Steff tentatively opened the door and peeked in.

“Oh good, fondling. But save the sex for after I leave the house, okay? You’ll scar my delicate sensibilities.”

Toby laughed as David pushed off him to head toward the kitchen.

T
HE
party was busy and enjoyable, much to Toby’s surprise. He was expecting more awkwardness, but David orbited around him casually, not making a production about the comfortable touches he bestowed upon him. Unused to any form of PDA, Toby was not certain how to respond so instead just worked on letting himself be receptive, which he figured was his big hang up anyway. No one seemed to notice anything different, or at least they did not comment on it, and the evening finally ended with a two hour marathon of old Twilight Zone episodes. Toby noticed that David had stuck with nursing one beer for hours, and he followed suit, assuming that a sober head for after-party discussion might be called for.

The last thing he wanted was to let David think everything was just another alcohol-fueled mistake.

Steff left with her boyfriend James a little after midnight, and after that the place emptied out fairly quickly. David made noises about cleaning up, but Toby decided that for once it could wait until morning.

“Come on.” He pulled at David, who was giving the pile of dishes a conflicted look. “David….”

Something must have tipped David off, or Toby just sounded as needy as he felt, because David let himself be pulled down the hall without any arguments or questions. Toby opened the door to his room, but David stopped there.

“Seriously, Toby. Only if you’re sure.”

Toby knew that promises were more than useless in these kinds of situations—he had gotten too many empty promises from Alan—so instead he walked the few steps back to David and pulled him into a kiss. It was like picking up where they left off in the garage, gentle and sweet, and David melted into it.

They swayed over to the bed, Toby providing the energy to keep going when David seemed more interested in getting his hands up the back of his shirt. He tried for a graceful “drop and roll” maneuver, but David startled and they ended up in a slightly painful tangle of elbows on the bed.

“Ow.” David extracted his arm.

“Sorry. I was going for ‘manly and forceful’,” Toby admitted sheepishly, and David laughed.

“Maybe next time….” David grinned and crawled on top, nuzzling at Toby’s neck.

“Yeah, sure,
okayyy
… oh….”

David snickered and began sucking at the delicate skin below Toby’s ear, hard enough to leave a mark but not so hard that it was painful. Toby felt the endorphin high starting as his body surged in reaction, and he gasped in pleasure. After a few seconds, David pulled back to look at Toby.

“I spent a week setting up that date.”

Toby cringed a little. “Sorry?”

“I worked on the playlist for
hours
.”

Toby blinked. “You’re such a girl.”

David smacked his arm. “I’m trying to be sensitive and honest here.”

“Well, maybe you could just skip to the point?” Toby smiled hopefully, pushing his hips up. David rolled his eyes.

“The point is: this is important to me.”

Toby stilled at that. They looked at each other for a few moments, and then Toby wrapped his arms around David’s back and pulled him down into a hug. “I know. I
know
. And we wouldn’t be in my room if I didn’t feel the same. I swear, I haven’t had sex with anyone but myself on this bed since Alan left.” He moved one hand to caress David’s face. “I’m not going to promise anything other than I’ll try my best, because I do want this. I want this to be about us, together, even if it scares the shit out of me.”

David’s face lit up, his grin broad and electric. He dropped onto Toby completely, pressing their bodies and mouths together in a bruising, full-contact kiss before slowing down and moving to kiss down Toby’s neck. There was a familiar edge to their explorations, which calmed Toby down enough to relax into the experience. They pushed and ground against each other in slow, languid waves of motion, David returning most of his efforts to kissing.

Finally Toby curled up a little, demanding more from David’s mouth and body. David groaned, grinding his cock slow and hard down against Toby’s before pulling back. “Since I’m the injured party here, I think it’s only fair for you to do all the work.”

Toby frowned in confusion for a moment before the suggestion hit him. “Fuck yeah!” He pushed up and rolled them until he was on top, kicking David’s legs apart with his feet. “Like this; I want to watch you.”

David closed his eyes and groaned loudly at Toby’s words, and Toby was doubly glad Steff had taken off for the night. He sat back on his heels, placing his hand on David’s stomach when he whined in protest. Reaching over to his nightstand, he pulled out his faithful bottle of lube and a condom, then slicked his fingers up. Spread out before him, David watched his movements with wide eyes, his pupils blown open with lust, his hair mussed and ruined.

“She’s right, you look debauched.” Toby smirked. David took a second to process that, then shook his head. “Never mind, I’ll explain it later.” Toby ran his lubed hand over David’s cock, which was full and demanding attention. David bowed up to the touch, closing his eyes in pleasure. Toby took that as permission and ran his fingers down, gently pressing one finger inside David’s hole, humming in pleasure as he felt the tight heat.

David reached up, lightly grabbing Toby’s arms as if looking for anchor. They gazed at each other for a moment before Toby continued pressing his finger in and began stretching David. It didn’t take too long, a reminder that David had been more active recently than Toby had been for the last few years, but Toby decided he was fine with that. He did not know where this was going, but was comfortable with their pasts.